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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Power on March 23, 2010, 06:03:14 AM

Title: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Power on March 23, 2010, 06:03:14 AM
My grandfather was in Whole foods yesterday to pick up some of his favorite soup (Minestrone).  He gets to the Deli area where all the salad fixings and soups are lined up and sees this pasty white trash woman walking back and forth along the soup area.  Apparently she was unable to read the labels as to what type of soup was in each container.  Grandfather being the gentleman he is slides in and takes the lid off each container so this “lady” can see what the soups are inside.  The lady stands there in amazement as this had obviously not occurred to her to do.  As my grandfather turns to offer her a soup container to use, this guy suddenly appears out of nowhere.  He looks huge at first glance, but then grandfather sees he is standing on a crate of oranges making him look taller than the 5’6” he really is.  The man is giving him the evil eye, twitching his nose and gnashing his teeth.  This of course concerned grandfather as he thought the man was having a seizure of some sort so he hurried off the call an ambalamps worried the man would fall off the crate.  He could not recall seeing anything so strange even back in his WWII days.  Then it hit him, instead of calling 911, he called animal control as obviously the zoo was missing one of it’s chimps.  He said next time he will just throw a banana out the door and close it when the monkey runs out.

Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Mr Nobody on March 23, 2010, 06:04:24 AM
Wiggs?
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: calfzilla on March 23, 2010, 06:06:35 AM
LoL, I love these "answer" threads.   ;D  That trashy woman was clearly a mudshark. 
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: ChristopherA on March 23, 2010, 07:51:42 AM
My grandfather was in Whole foods yesterday to pick up some of his favorite soup (Minestrone).  He gets to the Deli area where all the salad fixings and soups are lined up and sees this pasty white trash woman walking back and forth along the soup area.  Apparently she was unable to read the labels as to what type of soup was in each container.  Grandfather being the gentleman he is slides in and takes the lid off each container so this “lady” can see what the soups are inside.  The lady stands there in amazement as this had obviously not occurred to her to do.  As my grandfather turns to offer her a soup container to use, this guy suddenly appears out of nowhere.  He looks huge at first glance, but then grandfather sees he is standing on a crate of oranges making him look taller than the 5’6” he really is.  The man is giving him the evil eye, twitching his nose and gnashing his teeth.  This of course concerned grandfather as he thought the man was having a seizure of some sort so he hurried off the call an ambalamps worried the man would fall off the crate.  He could not recall seeing anything so strange even back in his WWII days.  Then it hit him, instead of calling 911, he called animal control as obviously the zoo was missing one of it’s chimps.  He said next time he will just throw a banana out the door and close it when the monkey runs out.


LMAO! Fucking classic
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: The Showstoppa on March 23, 2010, 07:55:36 AM
Is your grandfather related to epic beard man? 
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Tito24 on March 23, 2010, 08:21:26 AM
Is your grandfather related to epic beard man? 

ya, epic beard man was cool..

this thread sucks
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Krankenstein on March 23, 2010, 08:51:10 AM
My grandfather was in Whole foods yesterday to pick up some of his favorite soup (Minestrone).  He gets to the Deli area where all the salad fixings and soups are lined up and sees this pasty white trash woman walking back and forth along the soup area.  Apparently she was unable to read the labels as to what type of soup was in each container.  Grandfather being the gentleman he is slides in and takes the lid off each container so this “lady” can see what the soups are inside.  The lady stands there in amazement as this had obviously not occurred to her to do.  As my grandfather turns to offer her a soup container to use, this guy suddenly appears out of nowhere.  He looks huge at first glance, but then grandfather sees he is standing on a crate of oranges making him look taller than the 5’6” he really is.  The man is giving him the evil eye, twitching his nose and gnashing his teeth.  This of course concerned grandfather as he thought the man was having a seizure of some sort so he hurried off the call an ambalamps worried the man would fall off the crate.  He could not recall seeing anything so strange even back in his WWII days.  Then it hit him, instead of calling 911, he called animal control as obviously the zoo was missing one of it’s chimps.  He said next time he will just throw a banana out the door and close it when the monkey runs out.



/EPIC WIN
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Tre on March 23, 2010, 09:12:27 AM

Nope, I'm calling bullshit.

You won't find white trash - or hoodrats - shopping at Whole Foods, which is why I shop there.   :D
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: wes mantooth on March 23, 2010, 09:59:46 AM
i think you all need to read wiggs thread first before understanding this one.....
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: wes mantooth on March 23, 2010, 10:00:34 AM
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=325127.0
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Wiggs on March 23, 2010, 10:06:57 AM
Clearly, someones feelings are hurt ;D
BTW FAIL...
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Tito24 on March 23, 2010, 10:09:22 AM
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=325127.0

haha, to many trolls here there days
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: wes mantooth on March 23, 2010, 10:16:44 AM
Clearly someones feelings are hurt ;D


hahahahaa!!!
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Power on March 23, 2010, 10:38:04 AM
Clearly, someones feelings are hurt ;D
BTW FAIL...


Lol, no hurt feelings here.  I was just having a little fun this AM.  Your original thread made me chuckle briefly, then it hit me that the Cliff Notes version reads something like this.  "Hey everyone look I'm cool, I postured up and intimidated a 70 year old man in a supermarket over a pot of soup."  That's when I really started to laugh.      ;D

Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Wiggs on March 23, 2010, 10:49:43 AM

Lol, no hurt feelings here.  I was just having a little fun this AM.  Your original thread made me chuckle briefly, then it hit me that the Cliff Notes version reads something like this.  "Hey everyone look I'm cool, I postured up and intimidated a 70 year old man in a supermarket over a pot of soup."  That's when I really started to laugh.      ;D



If you weren't a troll, you'd know that the style it was written in was an homage to the great trailer king, Dave "Sarcasm-Squadfather-QuakerOats-Susan Fitness" Mirza.
Answer me this, serious question, are you a jew?
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: tbombz on March 23, 2010, 11:00:42 AM
the jew killer is more similar to power, with his calm in depth explanation for his post
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Power on March 23, 2010, 11:26:09 AM
If you weren't a troll, you'd know that the style it was written in was an homage to the great trailer king, Dave "Sarcasm-Squadfather-QuakerOats-Susan Fitness" Mirza.
Answer me this, serious question, are you a jew?

FAIL, I am not a troll.  I have been here a very long time.  I go back to the days even before T2G and his motorcycle death.  Perhaps if you were in less of a hurry to believe your feelings were hurt you would know that my parody thread was an homage to all the great parody threads of years past.  Perhaps you are the troll?

Lol, a serious question from you?  Certainly that deserves a serious answer.  I am not currently nor have I ever been connected to any group claiming to be a descendant of Jacob or the tribe of Judah.  I have however on several occasions bargained in an attempt to gain an unfair price in a business transaction.         :)
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: wes mantooth on March 23, 2010, 11:54:07 AM


  I am not currently nor have I ever been connected to any group claiming to be a descendant of Jacob or the tribe of Judah.  I have however on several occasions bargained in an attempt to gain an unfair price in a business transaction.         :)

bwwaaahhhaaaa 
Title: Re: Grandfather was accosted in Whole Foods yesterday
Post by: Gino30 on March 24, 2010, 02:58:11 AM
Gramps did ok....he did ok