Getbig.com: American Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure
Getbig Female Info Boards => Open Talk for Girl Discussion => Topic started by: ToxicAvenger on July 17, 2010, 05:33:52 PM
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tosh.o is great
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>:( >:( >:( ::)
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>:( >:( >:( ::)
don't hate...besides ou're not as good at it as guys lol
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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'OHIO STATE!'
And they say blondes are dumb....
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...... '.
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower.. 'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor ------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy. .
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world
...
.Then He made the earth round.
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Women vs. Men: How to Shower
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your nads.
Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.
Dry off forearms and butt only.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
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Men: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
Women: The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man cannot identify most of these items.
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Men: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
Women: The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man cannot identify most of these items.
no kidding, what is with all that? Planning a lunar expedxition?
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Men: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
Women: The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man cannot identify most of these items.
you're missing one.
Also is it me or doeas all the shower stuff for women sound delicous and deserve to be put on a buffet?
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you're missing one.
Also is it me or doeas all the shower stuff for women sound delicous and deserve to be put on a buffet?
I forgot to list toothpaste .. my mistake
yes .. all the soaps, lotions, oils, creams, etc. sound and smell delish ... I always revert back to baby scented products when I want to feel pampered though
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Women vs. Men: How to Shower
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your nads.
Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.
Dry off forearms and butt only.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
My wife and I LOL'd for 20 minutes at how accurate this is. ;D
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I forgot to list toothpaste .. my mistake
yes .. all the soaps, lotions, oils, creams, etc. sound and smell delish ... I always revert back to baby scented products when I want to feel pampered though
come over, i'll pamper ya!
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My wife and I LOL'd for 20 minutes at how accurate this is. ;D
Oldie but a goodie
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Woo-woooo!!!!!
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my sister got me some soap and other products that smell good for my b-day. not sure if u use them all on the same day though
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my sister got me some soap and other products that smell good for my b-day. not sure if u use them all on the same day though
I have some of that stuff...
....it's sits in my bathroom collecting dust.
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Woo-woooo!!!!!
;D
my sister got me some soap and other products that smell good for my b-day. not sure if u use them all on the same day though
You got soap for a gift huh? Hmmm....
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;D
You got soap for a gift huh? Hmmm....
shush, at least someone remembered it. >:(
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shush, at least someone remembered it. >:(
:-X
:D Happy belated birthday Migs!
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>:(
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>:(
Pipe down, stinky.
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Pipe down, stinky.
make me
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:'(
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:'(
??? :'( :(
???
:D