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Getbig Female Info Boards => Open Talk for Girl Discussion => Topic started by: Overload on September 21, 2010, 01:52:53 PM
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So i'm about to finally propose to my girlfriend of almost 4 years and i just wanted some advice from the ladies(or guys) as to what women really look for in an engagement ring.
I am limiting my spending to 15k, unless there is something out there that i deem worthy of spending more. ;D
She likes white gold and wants a "real" diamond.
I was going to just take her to a nice place and let her pick out what she wants but i want it to be a surprise. She knows it's coming, but i want to really shock her with the delivery.
Throw me some ideas people and pics would be nice.
I really know nothing about these things, i'm more of a nerdy Science guy, not a fashion guy.
Besides getting a legit diamond, what else should i really look out for?
Our Buddhist ceremony will be at the end of November and i will need the ring before that.
So ladies, what do you like? what would you change about your own ring?
8)
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First, congratulations!
You might want to think about taking her to some places and seeing what she likes. If you are set on buying from the store make sure you negotiate the price down....you may want to buy the ring later...when she is not present...not sure but some women may not want to see you negotiating the price of their engagement ring...
If you don't buy it from a store, make sure you remember exactly what type of stone, cut, approx clarity and setting she likes and about how big. Does she want a white or colored diamond?
Then if you have any connections, see if you can get a ring from a legit Pawn Shop (seriously [unless she would feel "insulted" for some reason]) or legit "guy" that has what she would want. You could still spend the $15k but get a better ring that is worth more instantly. Make sure it is GIA certified w/papers.
You want decent quality and the shape and cut and setting that she wants. If she has man-hands, get her a bigger stone.
I really like radiant cut:
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my fiance has been wearing her engagement ring since we were 20 years old.....i was going to prupose to my girlfriend in college but she died in a car wreck...so i lucked out this time and didnt have to buy another ring...
bench
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but she died in a car wreck...
Sorry, bench :(
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congrats Overload,
I agree with what Bigfoot posted about the papers and talk them down.
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Sorry, bench :(
it was a long time ago....i wasnt going to get rid of the ring...and my current fiance has always lived with me and been my best friend so i just told her she could have it...and she alway wore it...
bench
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Don't spend that much!
When it falls apart you're gonna be pissed!
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congrats Overload,
I agree with what Bigfoot posted about the papers and talk them down.
I wonder if the "Bigfoot" name is available. It may feel more "right." ;D
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I wonder if the "Bigfoot" name is available. It may feel more "right." :)
i am making butterbeans right now!!!
how about a nude photo of yourslef as a avatar?
bench
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;D
I wonder if the "Bigfoot" name is available. It may feel more "right."
naaa I like Butterbean
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i am making butterbeans right now!!!
how about a nude photo of yourslef as a avatar?
bench
I don't know if I've ever had butterbeans.
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First of all I would NOT buy from one of those chain stores in the malls. Find a reputable family owned type business that's been around for years. The service now and down the road will be worth the little extra $ you might pay.
http://www.kesslersdiamonds.com/what-to-look-for-in-a-diamond.html
http://www.kesslersdiamonds.com/who-we-are/what-makes-us-different.html
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I don't know if I've ever had butterbeans.
WHAT?...how can you have never had butterbeans?
bench
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WHAT?...how can you have never had butterbeans?
bench
It's a suthern thang
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It's a suthern thang
you just ruined it for me...
bench
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15k is a waste of $
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I sell fine jewelry as a second job. There is a lot to know. One night or morning when you're laying together, ask her what she likes for herself. So many girls like such different things so it's VERY okay to ask. She if she wants a solitaire (single, stand- alone diamond), or multi-stone ring (most of which are 3 stone). She may or may not want or like pavé stones. Those are the small diamonds that are all over the jewelry world. There is so much out there. And remember when you're buying an engagement ring that one day you'll be buying a wedding band to go with it. You may or may not want to factor that into your pricing. Good luck and keep us posted!
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Moissanite man. then use the rest of the money for a fat ass vacation getaway
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Moissanite man. then use the rest of the money for a fat ass vacation getaway
That's what I would do, but then again I couldn't care less about jewelry.
Regardless of what you do, make sure you have insurance on it.
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or you could say "i dont want our marriage to be about material items, so i didnt get you a ring"...
bench
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So i'm about to finally propose to my girlfriend of almost 4 years and i just wanted some advice from the ladies(or guys) as to what women really look for in an engagement ring.
I am limiting my spending to 15k, unless there is something out there that i deem worthy of spending more. ;D
She likes white gold and wants a "real" diamond.
I was going to just take her to a nice place and let her pick out what she wants but i want it to be a surprise. She knows it's coming, but i want to really shock her with the delivery.
Throw me some ideas people and pics would be nice.
I really know nothing about these things, i'm more of a nerdy Science guy, not a fashion guy.
Besides getting a legit diamond, what else should i really look out for?
Our Buddhist ceremony will be at the end of November and i will need the ring before that.
So ladies, what do you like? what would you change about your own ring?
8)
Congratulations Overload!!!
Let me say that what we ladies at getbig like doesn't mean a darned thing! It's what your fiancé likes that matters.
What are her tastes when it comes to rings? Base your decision on that.
When it comes to diamonds, keep in mind the 4 C's: Cut, Carat, Colour, Clarity.
These will all factor into the price of any diamond you purchase.
Is she a very traditional sort? If so, perhaps a brilliant cut might be appropriate.
Does she like fancy cuts ie: pear shaped, marquise, emerald cut?
Is she all about the bling? Is she a woman for whom size matters? If so, you might want to place importance on the size of the diamond over clarity.
Is she a woman who prefers quality to quantity? Then place greater emphasis on the clarity of the stone over the carat weight.
Would she prefer a fancy coloured diamond? ie: a canary diamond?
Remember: When choosing the engagement ring... it's all about HER
I know you want to make it a surprise, ...you can still do that, ...but make sure it's a ring she's going to like.
Hopefully she'll be wearing it for many years to come.
Hope That Helps
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give her a candy lollipop ring. if she accepts she's a keeper. then get her a moisonite ring and the fat ass vacation
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give her a candy lollipop ring. if she accepts she's a keeper. then get her a moisonite ring and the fat ass vacation
QFMFT
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So i'm about to finally propose to my girlfriend of almost 4 years and i just wanted some advice from the ladies(or guys) as to what women really look for in an engagement ring.
I am limiting my spending to 15k, unless there is something out there that i deem worthy of spending more. ;D
She likes white gold and wants a "real" diamond.
I was going to just take her to a nice place and let her pick out what she wants but i want it to be a surprise. She knows it's coming, but i want to really shock her with the delivery.
Throw me some ideas people and pics would be nice.
I really know nothing about these things, i'm more of a nerdy Science guy, not a fashion guy.
Besides getting a legit diamond, what else should i really look out for?
Our Buddhist ceremony will be at the end of November and i will need the ring before that.
So ladies, what do you like? what would you change about your own ring?
8)
You are in the bloom of love and that’s great. Congratulations! But do not buy an expensive engagement ring or wedding ring unless both of you are totally debt free, (no mortgage, student loan, car note, etc.) and have money to burn. Obviously, I’m speaking from my own values, but she should be thrilled with landing a good man—big bling is unnecessary. A tasteful, modest, symbolic ring is all that is required. If you want to spend big on a ring wait until you have been together 10 or 20 years—then you will truly have something to celebrate.
I don’t want to be a wet blanket, but remember more than half of all marriages end in divorce and finances/debt is a frequent cause. Be sure to exchange credit reports before you say I do.
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=193870.msg4547081#msg4547081
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=193870.msg4876069#msg4876069
It would not be a good thing to wait until after you are married to learn s/he has $90k in personal debt that you knew nothing about. :-[
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You are in the bloom of love and that’s great. Congratulations! But do not buy an expensive engagement ring or wedding ring unless both of you are totally debt free, (no mortgage, student loan, car note, etc.) and have money to burn. Obviously, I’m speaking from my own values, but she should be thrilled with landing a good man—big bling is unnecessary. A tasteful, modest, symbolic ring is all that is required. If you want to spend big on a ring wait until you have been together 10 or 20 years—then you will truly have something to celebrate.
I don’t want to be a wet blanket, but remember more than half of all marriages end in divorce and finances/debt is a frequent cause. Be sure to exchange credit reports before you say I do.
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=193870.msg4547081#msg4547081
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=193870.msg4876069#msg4876069
It would not be a good thing to wait until after you are married to learn s/he has $90k in personal debt that you knew nothing about. :-[
I agree with Bay
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Thanks for all the responses, i will reply more later, I'm walking out the door to a meeting.
-Money isn't a big deal, i am debt free except about 40k left on my mortgage and i make a decent living as a Professional Engineer. 15k just seems like a good limit compared to what i make.
-My good friend has a few hookups around town for good deals on rings, i know him really well and he will point me in the right direction, i won't be buying from any large chain. He got my other friend a 12k ring for about 9k cash.
-She said any ring is fine and does not care about price, but it is me that wants to buy her something nice. 15k is a lot considering all the other wedding stuff I'm about to pay for, but like i said before i make good money and have zero debt, so i will be paying cash for this entire process.
-I will find out what cut she likes and maybe we can go shop around this weekend to see what she likes.
-I will mention the moissonite, but when i talked to her about it a few months ago she wanted a real diamond.
She isn't demanding any of this, i think she is worth it. She is a wonderful person who has been through a pretty tough life, i just want to treat her the way i feel she deserves. She is actually VERY low maintenance and doesn't care about money. She is a CPA and between the 2 of us we make a good chunk of money(not by getbig standards) and we are both very good with it.
Thanks for the ideas, i will post more replies later when i get home.
8)
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as rong as shes creen ;D
bench
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-Money isn't a big deal, i am debt free except about 40k left on my mortgage 15k just seems like a good limit compared to what i make.
-She said any ring is fine and does not care about price, but it is me that wants to buy her something nice. and have zero debt, .
-I will mention the moissonite, but when i talked to her about it a few months ago she wanted a real diamond.
She isn't demanding any of this, i think she is worth it. She is a wonderful person who has been through a pretty tough life, i just want to treat her the way i feel she deserves. She is actually VERY low maintenance and doesn't care about money. She is a CPA and between the 2 of us we make a good chunk of money(not by getbig standards) and we are both very good with it.
Thanks for the ideas, i will post more replies later when i get home.
8)
Are you seeing some contrdictions. Look, you have 40k in debt. your best investment is pay down the mortgage. bay was right, wait until it's been a few years. I understand wanitng to treat her well and get her omething nice. But dont blow that much money.
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Are you seeing some contrdictions. Look, you have 40k in debt. your best investment is pay down the mortgage. bay was right, wait until it's been a few years. I understand wanitng to treat her well and get her omething nice. But dont blow that much money.
Yep. I was wondering if anyone else would notice that.
I think one question the OP should ask himself, "is buying this bling a reflection of her values or mine?" :-\
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I agree with Bay
bay was right...
May I quote you both? ;D
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we make a good chunk of money(not by getbig standards)
;D
Are you seeing some contrdictions. Look, you have 40k in debt. your best investment is pay down the mortgage. bay was right, wait until it's been a few years. I understand wanitng to treat her well and get her omething nice. But dont blow that much money.
Don't a lot of people have mortgages esp. if they are young? And he only owes $40,000 which means he must have a lot of equity in his home and he is paying cash for the ring. I think that is fine imo.
Hadn't heard of moissonate...looks pretty
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wedding rings are antiquated forms of dowries and serve no real purpose in todays society. It's a nice tradition, but their future is better served by going a less expensive route and using the money saved to pay down other expenses and the mortgage. pumping that amount of money into a symbol is not smart. besides, you saw some of the contradictions in my last post about the ring. just becuase he onlys owes 40k in the house doesn't always mean that he's built up a ton of equity. perhaps he has, but depends on where he is at considering some places have seen a decline in housing values of 60%+
I'm not trying to spoil it, just saying that if they are really in love and blah blah, then she doesn't need the ring. She wants a diamond so that she can show it off. Seems that women get confused and when the get a ring slapped on they use it as a show piece. A woman can get engaged and call her friends to lunch and tell them. But the first thing they do is stick there hand out and show off the ring. It's a status symbol. The women get more excited over the ring than the man.
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The women get more excited over the ring than the man.
This may happen but it is not true for all.
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99.98% of the time it does.
the other .02% won't even care about the ring, so it shouldn't matter if they get one then.
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Are you seeing some contradictions. Look, you have 40k in debt. your best investment is pay down the mortgage. bay was right, wait until it's been a few years. I understand wanitng to treat her well and get her omething nice. But dont blow that much money.
You are analyzing this all wrong, but i get your drift. Yes she wants a real diamond(because i asked if she did) and doesn't care about money, yes that's a contradiction but I'm laying out the way it is. Honestly a 250 dollar gold ring would suffice, but i came here for ideas on rings, not financial advice. I have worked my life away for 12 years to have a life of luxury and i know most financial experts believe spending 15k on a ring is a bad investment, but i could honestly care less, no offense.
I have paid my mortgage down from 280k to 40k in the last 5 years and my house will be paid off by next Spring. I have zero debt other than that, no student loans, no nothing, i pay cash for everything.
I don't consider my mortgage actual debt. My mortgage is an investment with a large future return(if you knew where i lived you would understand), so i view it as an investment along with a few other properties i own.
So, again i don't see 15k as a big deal. I have watches that cost nearly that much.
I own(inherited) over 40 acres of undeveloped property that is worth nearly 10k an acre and i have investments across the board.
This has nothing to do with love or showing off a big diamond, but i know females typically view it this way.
The bottom line is "I'm buying a nice ring because i want to", it has nothing to do with any sort of social obligation to show off, how shallow. I'm one of the most financially conservative men i have ever met.
She can have her nice ring and i can have my 2011 Mustang GT and motorcycle i just purchased, if i want to blow money away, i will.
I went to school for 8 years and worked 60 hour weeks the last 3 years so i could have a life i enjoy.
Migs - you sound a bit bitter, no offense, but your broad generalizations in this thread are so wrong from who i am and who my girl is it is almost comical. My girl is in that .02% and "I" decided to spend the money on the ring. A real diamond ring doesn't cost 15k, but the one i want to purchase does.
Bay - The ring is a reflection of what "I" think she deserves, she asked for a simple diamond ring that i could buy at a fraction of 15k.
As far as tradition, screw the ring and screw the wedding, they are truly worthless by your logic(and mine). Maybe I'll fly to Vegas and have an Elvis impersonator marry us because it's just an old tradition that means nothing. I could care nothing about tradition, we are having a Buddhist wedding for "her" family and we are having a Christian wedding for "my" family and guess what...I'm agnostic, now THERE you have a big waste of money. I'll be dropping all this money for traditions i don't even BELIEVE in.
Thanks for the ideas guys/gals, i'll keep you posted on all the money i dump on useless things. ;D
8)
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i know most financial experts believe spending 15k on a ring is a bad investment,
Actually, I don't think diamonds/gemstones are considered bad investments right now at all.
Migs isn't really as bitter as he comes off..he is joking (for the most part) :)
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Actually, I don't think diamonds/gemstones are considered bad investments right now at all.
Migs isn't really as bitter as he comes off..he is joking (for the most part) :)
he is still bitter about lossing his "mancard"
bench
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blow me
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Times have changed
I believe woman should start getting on their knee and asking men to marry them
A key ring for an Audi R8 or equivalent should be OK
This should really be encouraged, debated and pursued
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So i'm about to finally propose to my girlfriend of almost 4 years and i just wanted some advice from the ladies(or guys) as to what women really look for in an engagement ring.
I am limiting my spending to 15k, unless there is something out there that i deem worthy of spending more. ;D
She likes white gold and wants a "real" diamond.
I was going to just take her to a nice place and let her pick out what she wants but i want it to be a surprise. She knows it's coming, but i want to really shock her with the delivery.
Throw me some ideas people and pics would be nice.
I really know nothing about these things, i'm more of a nerdy Science guy, not a fashion guy.
Besides getting a legit diamond, what else should i really look out for?
Our Buddhist ceremony will be at the end of November and i will need the ring before that.
So ladies, what do you like? what would you change about your own ring?
8)
Hey congrats man!
All I have to say is be ready to spend some serious coin. Min 5 grand for a decent ring. Do your homework. I see this when I visit my uncle who happens to be a jewler and I help him out on the odd saturday.
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The Greek and Roman bridegroom often gave a ring to the bride's father-a practice that was probably a survival of primitive bride purchase.
http://www.weddingringorigins.com/
Originally, it seems that use of wedding rings was more about the promise of wealth than love. In addition, women's rings were made of silver and men's of gold signifying the superiority of the man: It seems that times have changed.
In older times, the wedding rings did not only signify a sign of love, but were also linked to the bestowal of 'earnest money'.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Wedding-Band-History-And-Customs
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Don't spend that much!
When it falls apart you're gonna be pissed!
Yup, completely agree. 15k lost and gone forever and never mind the divorce costs as well. Not worth it.
PS. I am lucky my gf hates jewlery and doesn't want to get married. :)
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wedding rings are antiquated forms of dowries and serve no real purpose in todays society. It's a nice tradition, but their future is better served by going a less expensive route and using the money saved to pay down other expenses and the mortgage. pumping that amount of money into a symbol is not smart. besides, you saw some of the contradictions in my last post about the ring. just becuase he onlys owes 40k in the house doesn't always mean that he's built up a ton of equity. perhaps he has, but depends on where he is at considering some places have seen a decline in housing values of 60%+
I'm not trying to spoil it, just saying that if they are really in love and blah blah, then she doesn't need the ring. She wants a diamond so that she can show it off. Seems that women get confused and when the get a ring slapped on they use it as a show piece. A woman can get engaged and call her friends to lunch and tell them. But the first thing they do is stick there hand out and show off the ring. It's a status symbol. The women get more excited over the ring than the man.
good post Migs I concur ! :)
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good post Migs I concur ! :)
x2