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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Deicide on November 15, 2010, 04:28:52 AM

Title: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Deicide on November 15, 2010, 04:28:52 AM
I am sitting here, just waiting to get the dump out before my day starts, can't do anything until the dump is done. Ever happen to you? Dump based delays?
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: spinnis on November 15, 2010, 04:31:18 AM
I like to wait until I have to take a shit and piss.

Then bring a pepsi in with me,

And one of my computer peaker (loong cords)

put some paper on the water so it doens splash and then just RELAX, enjoy that shit son and top it of with a nice piss.

I would also recommend taking a few hits from the ...Cigarette while you do it.

thats the shit.
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Deicide on November 15, 2010, 04:32:59 AM
I like to wait until I have to take a shit and piss.

Then bring a pepsi in with me,

And one of my computer peaker (loong cords)

put some paper on the water so it doens splash and then just RELAX, enjoy that shit son and top it of with a nice piss.

I would also recommend taking a few hits from the ...Cigarette while you do it.

thats the shit.

Thing is, I really need to get stuff done and starting my day, it all depends on me getting this dump out...you know, I feel it's there but for some reason it is taking a long time...sipping on a hot instant coffee...maybe once the coffee cools down I can chug it and it will be dump time...
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Deicide on November 15, 2010, 04:49:30 AM
I like to wait until I have to take a shit and piss.

Then bring a pepsi in with me,

And one of my computer peaker (loong cords)

put some paper on the water so it doens splash and then just RELAX, enjoy that shit son and top it of with a nice piss.

I would also recommend taking a few hits from the ...Cigarette while you do it.

thats the shit.

Soonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... .........
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: epic_alien on November 15, 2010, 05:12:28 AM
have some coffee and a cig, you will go
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Deicide on November 15, 2010, 05:12:45 AM
Dump executed. :)
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Meso_z on November 15, 2010, 05:32:50 AM
I like to wait until I have to take a shit and piss.

Then bring a pepsi in with me,

And one of my computer peaker (loong cords)

put some paper on the water so it doens splash and then just RELAX, enjoy that shit son and top it of with a nice piss.

I would also recommend taking a few hits from the ...Cigarette while you do it.

thats the shit.

hahaha! Holy shit, i do the same.  ;D And i thought i was a weirdo.
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: kh300 on November 15, 2010, 05:35:37 AM
I have panic attacks if I have to leave the house without my morning dump..It's like fuck,now its gonna come at the worst time. Or attach itself to my after lunch dump, thus making it twice as powerful.
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Deicide on November 15, 2010, 05:45:23 AM
I have panic attacks if I have to leave the house without my morning dump..It's like fuck,now its gonna come at the worst time. Or attach itself to my after lunch dump, thus making it twice as powerful.

QFT!
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: spinnis on November 15, 2010, 05:46:19 AM
hahaha! Holy shit, i do the same.  ;D And i thought i was a weirdo.

ive done it since I was a kid. Especially if you you piss and then take a shit and then the pisswater splashes yourr ass, fucking nasty  ;D

I tend to flush the toilet right after taking a dump also :/ Right away after the first one hits the water that is haha
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: affeman on November 15, 2010, 06:02:47 AM
hahaha! Holy shit, i do the same.  ;D And i thought i was a weirdo.

I do that everytime. Very convenient, you never have to use the toilet brush.
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Spike on November 15, 2010, 06:07:53 AM
I like to wait until I have to take a shit and piss.

Then bring a pepsi in with me,

And one of my computer peaker (loong cords)

put some paper on the water so it doens splash and then just RELAX, enjoy that shit son and top it of with a nice piss.

I would also recommend taking a few hits from the ...Cigarette while you do it.

thats the shit.

this is truley a brilliant idea I wish I woulda thought of that sooner!! nice swede
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: affeman on November 15, 2010, 06:10:46 AM
Here is a great thread for you Deicide, 5 pages long if you got some time on your hands. A classic of german internet history.

http://www.haustechnikdialog.de/Forum/t/19886/Grosse-Haufen
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Marty Champions on November 15, 2010, 07:18:29 AM
I am sitting here, just waiting to get the dump out before my day starts, can't do anything until the dump is done. Ever happen to you? Dump based delays?

you just dont know how to eat correct

if you ate unprocessed foods the food would be happy to fall out of you in the morning

its funny people in there 30s still dont get why they are constipated. no wonder you have self proclaimed horrible genetics
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: w8m8 on November 15, 2010, 07:27:39 AM

if you ate unprocessed foods the food would be happy to fall out of you in the morning


the "food" doesn't come out .... unless you're into scat it's not edible .. it's a waste product




more water and fiber is all that is really needed to induce bowels to move
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: 240 is Back on November 15, 2010, 07:33:53 AM
i drink a diet mt dew and respond to text messages in the can.  it's awesome.
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Howard on November 15, 2010, 07:45:07 AM
I am sitting here, just waiting to get the dump out before my day starts, can't do anything until the dump is done. Ever happen to you? Dump based delays?
You must summon this ancient phrase to reverse the curse of constipation:
" Cometh Turdish Outy- Bum-holey"
It worked for the warlocks and wizzards of the middle ages.
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: Marty Champions on November 17, 2010, 05:44:53 AM
why doesnt this retard eat some beans
Title: Re: Man, I wish I could command myself to take a dump....
Post by: dyslexic on November 17, 2010, 05:51:47 AM
Get dressed and take off for work...



works every time.