Getbig.com: American Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure
Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Wiggs on July 06, 2011, 05:03:01 PM
-
the first couple months of divorce? Other changes?
What advice do you have?
-
Besides saying "grats!" the serious answer would be situation dependent. In your original thread I just skimmed, saw you said it was mutual(?), and clapped out loud for you. I've gone through one divorce in my early 20s and it was the most liberating feeling I ever had. Even though it was lonely and slow the first few months, I got back in the swing of things being single again and really started tearing it up and having GREAT time. Seriously, it was awesome, and I raised my standards on who I would date SIGNIFICANTLY. Not necessarily by looks, but more by "how un-stereotypical is she?" My ex-wife was HOT. Like, omg freaking HOT but the amount of crap I dealt with was unbearable. I ended it and realized why people divorce perfect 10s. I had quite a few guys go "WTF?!?!" but a few of the older guys definitely understood. I don't tolerate a woman's bullshit at all any more, and I am engaged to a freaking AWESOME woman now who hates the stereotypical woman type more than I do. Seriously, go out, be single and tear it up bro style until you get it out of your system. Then don't settle emotionally until you meet a chick who's on the same level long term as you and doesn't tolerate the same things you don't tolerate. It goes more in depth than that, but be honest with yourself with the dumb shit you did to piss her off also, but damn sure don't tolerate those same things again in the future.
OH! Also, stop being a fatty. No seriously, I'm not trying to dig on you dude, but hit the weights like your life depended on it, watch your damn diet, and get some cardio in. Obviously just calorie restrict for the time being while still getting the protein you need, and once you get close to the 12% range start trying a cyclo-ketogenic diet. It takes a lot of work but holy crap does it pay off.
I have no clue how your training goes but don't do the dumb shit of doing cardio before weights. Weights then cardio.
-
def not feelings of making posts on a message board knowing that she reads it in an attempt to get her jealous etc
-
def not feelings of making posts on a message board knowing that she reads it in an attempt to get her jealous etc
lol...jealous?...I happy as fuck I'm free....I'd be surprised if she ever read this board. Have great day.
-
Besides saying "grats!" the serious answer would be situation dependent. In your original thread I just skimmed, saw you said it was mutual(?), and clapped out loud for you. I've gone through one divorce in my early 20s and it was the most liberating feeling I ever had. Even though it was lonely and slow the first few months, I got back in the swing of things being single again and really started tearing it up and having GREAT time. Seriously, it was awesome, and I raised my standards on who I would date SIGNIFICANTLY. Not necessarily by looks, but more by "how un-stereotypical is she?" My ex-wife was HOT. Like, omg freaking HOT but the amount of crap I dealt with was unbearable. I ended it and realized why people divorce perfect 10s. I had quite a few guys go "WTF?!?!" but a few of the older guys definitely understood. I don't tolerate a woman's bullshit at all any more, and I am engaged to a freaking AWESOME woman now who hates the stereotypical woman type more than I do. Seriously, go out, be single and tear it up bro style until you get it out of your system. Then don't settle emotionally until you meet a chick who's on the same level long term as you and doesn't tolerate the same things you don't tolerate. It goes more in depth than that, but be honest with yourself with the dumb shit you did to piss her off also, but damn sure don't tolerate those same things again in the future.
OH! Also, stop being a fatty. No seriously, I'm not trying to dig on you dude, but hit the weights like your life depended on it, watch your damn diet, and get some cardio in. Obviously just calorie restrict for the time being while still getting the protein you need, and once you get close to the 12% range start trying a cyclo-ketogenic diet. It takes a lot of work but holy crap does it pay off.
I have no clue how your training goes but don't do the dumb shit of doing cardio before weights. Weights then cardio.
Thanks bro. Excellent advice. 8)
-
toughen the fuck up bro. Become interverted. Some of the most brilliant men on the planet never needed contact with other filthy human beings. Don't get me wrong bro, put aside a sizable amount of your pay aside so you can bang top notch whores every once in awhile so you don't become weird. But other than that, enjoy your alone time. And if you can't enjoy it, get therapy so you can be taught how great alone time is. ;)
-
toughen the fuck up bro. Become interverted. Some of the most brilliant men on the planet never needed contact with other filthy human beings. Don't get me wrong bro, put aside a sizable amount of your pay aside so you can bang top notch whores every once in awhile so you don't become weird. But other than that, enjoy your alone time. And if you can't enjoy it, get therapy so you can be taught how great alone time is. ;)
8)
-
def not feelings of making posts on a message board knowing that she reads it in an attempt to get her jealous etc
+1
-
Didn't you start a thread the other day talking about how in love you were?
-
Didn't you start a thread the other day talking about how in love you were?
I still am and that hasn't changed.
-
I still am and that hasn't changed.
ah....
....sucks to be you man
Couldn't resist. Good luck with the divorce and all that. And don't forget, getbig members are always here.
-
Mutual divorce is really no big deal, especially if no kids are involved. But....the end of a relationship is always hard, despite what all of the gigolos and hard asses say here. Get into YOURSELF for a while, learn to be alone...it's actually pretty cool to be free. do what you want when you want, all that good shit.
you have the face already, get on the Mighty Groink "lean out with tren!!!!!!" program and you will be a bad bitch....then begin to systematically bone women. i boned like 40 of them before i settled down again...just make sure they have big tits
-
Mutual divorce is really no big deal, especially if no kids are involved. But....the end of a relationship is always hard, despite what all of the gigolos and hard asses say here. Get into YOURSELF for a while, learn to be alone...it's actually pretty cool to be free. do what you want when you want, all that good shit.
you have the face already, get on the Mighty Groink "lean out with tren!!!!!!" program and you will be a bad bitch....then begin to systematically bone women. i boned like 40 of them before i settled down again...just make sure they have big tits
Thank You Mr. Groink. 8)
-
I broke up with my wife when I was 28 just after being in hospital 3 times the year previously, the final time to have a tumor removed.
She couldn't handle all this and had an affair with the guy her family wanted her to be with the whole time.
Since we were renting a house owned by her aunt at the time I had to move back with my parents initially. I was broke from missing so much work that year and was way out of shape.
The 2 best things I did was 1) avoid women for a while and 2) get back into shape.
After doing both for 6 months, lost about 30 lbs, I moved into my own place and the fun started.
Funny story.
First time fucking someone. Was going great until the condom went on (i hadn't used one for the past 7 years while I was with my ex since she was on the pill) and my dick said "no way buddy" and shut down.
I was laying there pissed off, the girl was sweet she understood, and we started talking about something else when suddenly my dick sprung to action (the condom was still on) and I rolled onto her and went for it.
Was the start of a glorious 3 year period of fun that i'm glad I had now i'm forty and have a kid.
-
I broke up with my wife when I was 28 just after being in hospital 3 times the year previously, the final time to have a tumor removed.
She couldn't handle all this and had an affair with the guy her family wanted her to be with the whole time.
Since we were renting a house owned by her aunt at the time I had to move back with my parents initially. I was broke from missing so much work that year and was way out of shape.
The 2 best things I did was 1) avoid women for a while and 2) get back into shape.
After doing both for 6 months, lost about 30 lbs, I moved into my own place and the fun started.
Funny story.
First time fucking someone. Was going great until the condom went on (i hadn't used one for the past 7 years while I was with my ex since she was on the pill) and my dick said "no way buddy" and shut down.
I was laying there pissed off, the girl was sweet she understood, and we started talking about something else when suddenly my dick sprung to action (the condom was still on) and I rolled onto her and went for it.
Was the start of a glorious 3 year period of fun that i'm glad I had now i'm forty and have a kid.
Great story and great advice. Thanks man. 8)
-
Another day another "Wiggs" pity party in progress.
-
on a serious note, I am against marriage I don't care what the heck the story is
props to ya for getting out of it now train yourself that u dont need no one in your life, its a fucking myth, just find woman that you enjoy, dont get any emotions tied up never just have one always have a few
youll be happier and healthier and richer
-
Another day another "Wiggs" pity party in progress.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself. Thanks though.
-
on a serious note, I am against marriage I don't care what the heck the story is
props to ya for getting out of it now train yourself that u dont need no one in your life, its a fucking myth, just find woman that you enjoy, dont get any emotions tied up never just have one always have a few
youll be happier and healthier and richer
Not everyone is the same. I prefer being in a committed relationship, I have always been "with somebody' for most of my adult life....with breaks in between. Some long, some short
I've been single, and had plenty of fun. I could be banging bitches left and right as we speak....but i like having a partner over the single life any day.
Wiggs might be like me...or not...to each his own
-
Not everyone is the same. I prefer being in a committed relationship, I have always been "with somebody' for most of my adult life....with breaks in between. Some long, some short
I've been single, and had plenty of fun. I could be banging bitches left and right as we speak....but i like having a partner over the single life any day.
Wiggs might be like me...or not...to each his own
Yes Groink, I prefer being in a relationship. When it's good a good one, there's nothing better.
-
First and second wife devistated, third wife total relief from the second I said "see ya"!
-
Right now, and fuck me if I'm wrong, your pattern is deep, soul searing sadness...then your nervous systems requires change and we can't stay depressed for long so its right into....ANGER! Fuck her, she didn't get me, this is her fault, I gave her everything, the cold bitch. Then back into depression...I'm never going to be happy, this ALWAYS happens, I'm so alone, nobody gets me, then back into ANGER...in an endless figure eight.
This isn't a unique pattern. This is however, a defining moment for you. Will you interrupt this pattern? Will you allow it to continue? How many empty places will you search for fulfillment? Drugs? Alcohol? Sex?
Or will you rise above? Will you listen to your pain? Let it guide you? Get onto your path, do what you need to be fucking doing?
The pain digs a deep hole inside of you, what are you going to fill it up with? Fear and anxiety or Love and the faith that, even though I can't see it clearly right now...God has put me in this place, in this very fucking moment, for this very fucking reason, to learn. And he must have known that I am a force of fucking nature to put me through this and know I'm going to come out on top. Im Wiggs motherfuckers!
-
the first couple months all you feel is like you want to kill the bitch and you argue nonstop.... let it go, thats what they want... totally ignore her and get on with your pathetic life... thats what I did and it really pisses them off.
on to ex wife number 4
???
-
Right now, and fuck me if I'm wrong, your pattern is deep, soul searing sadness...then your nervous systems requires change and we can't stay depressed for long so its right into....ANGER! Fuck her, she didn't get me, this is her fault, I gave her everything, the cold bitch. Then back into depression...I'm never going to be happy, this ALWAYS happens, I'm so alone, nobody gets me, then back into ANGER...in an endless figure eight.
This isn't a unique pattern. This is however, a defining moment for you. Will you interrupt this pattern? Will you allow it to continue? How many empty places will you search for fulfillment? Drugs? Alcohol? Sex?
Or will you rise above? Will you listen to your pain? Let it guide you? Get onto your path, do what you need to be fucking doing?
The pain digs a deep hole inside of you, what are you going to fill it up with? Fear and anxiety or Love and the faith that, even though I can't see it clearly right now...God has put me in this place, in this very fucking moment, for this very fucking reason, to learn. And he must have known that I am a force of fucking nature to put me through this and know I'm going to come out on top. Im Wiggs motherfuckers!
good post
-
Agree with 300. You don't stay with someone for 12 years and just let it go (unless she's a total psycho like my ex). Your pain runs deep and its obvious you need people to talk to, to help relive the pain. Sorry Wiggs, if she was a decent women, this going to take awhile. Sorry bro, I know your pain, trust me!
-
Right now, and fuck me if I'm wrong, your pattern is deep, soul searing sadness...then your nervous systems requires change and we can't stay depressed for long so its right into....ANGER! Fuck her, she didn't get me, this is her fault, I gave her everything, the cold bitch. Then back into depression...I'm never going to be happy, this ALWAYS happens, I'm so alone, nobody gets me, then back into ANGER...in an endless figure eight.
This isn't a unique pattern. This is however, a defining moment for you. Will you interrupt this pattern? Will you allow it to continue? How many empty places will you search for fulfillment? Drugs? Alcohol? Sex?
Or will you rise above? Will you listen to your pain? Let it guide you? Get onto your path, do what you need to be fucking doing?
The pain digs a deep hole inside of you, what are you going to fill it up with? Fear and anxiety or Love and the faith that, even though I can't see it clearly right now...God has put me in this place, in this very fucking moment, for this very fucking reason, to learn. And he must have known that I am a force of fucking nature to put me through this and know I'm going to come out on top. Im Wiggs motherfuckers!
I don't know where that's from, or who wrote and if it was you, that's bad ass man. I'm going to print it an put it in my wallet as a reminder. kh300 whoever you are, I am forever in your debt....
no homo :D
-
Right now, and fuck me if I'm wrong, your pattern is deep, soul searing sadness...then your nervous systems requires change and we can't stay depressed for long so its right into....ANGER! Fuck her, she didn't get me, this is her fault, I gave her everything, the cold bitch. Then back into depression...I'm never going to be happy, this ALWAYS happens, I'm so alone, nobody gets me, then back into ANGER...in an endless figure eight.
This isn't a unique pattern. This is however, a defining moment for you. Will you interrupt this pattern? Will you allow it to continue? How many empty places will you search for fulfillment? Drugs? Alcohol? Sex?
Or will you rise above? Will you listen to your pain? Let it guide you? Get onto your path, do what you need to be fucking doing?
The pain digs a deep hole inside of you, what are you going to fill it up with? Fear and anxiety or Love and the faith that, even though I can't see it clearly right now...God has put me in this place, in this very fucking moment, for this very fucking reason, to learn. And he must have known that I am a force of fucking nature to put me through this and know I'm going to come out on top. Im Wiggs motherfuckers!
You done an anger course bro ? did she take out a protection order and forced you into it ?
-
Right now, and fuck me if I'm wrong, your pattern is deep, soul searing sadness...then your nervous systems requires change and we can't stay depressed for long so its right into....ANGER! Fuck her, she didn't get me, this is her fault, I gave her everything, the cold bitch. Then back into depression...I'm never going to be happy, this ALWAYS happens, I'm so alone, nobody gets me, then back into ANGER...in an endless figure eight.
This isn't a unique pattern. This is however, a defining moment for you. Will you interrupt this pattern? Will you allow it to continue? How many empty places will you search for fulfillment? Drugs? Alcohol? Sex?
Or will you rise above? Will you listen to your pain? Let it guide you? Get onto your path, do what you need to be fucking doing?
The pain digs a deep hole inside of you, what are you going to fill it up with? Fear and anxiety or Love and the faith that, even though I can't see it clearly right now...God has put me in this place, in this very fucking moment, for this very fucking reason, to learn. And he must have known that I am a force of fucking nature to put me through this and know I'm going to come out on top. Im Wiggs motherfuckers!
G' damn son. This is awesome. This just doesn't apply to relationships by the way, all around good stuff. If you can turn anger in to something positive you can get AMAZING results with anything you do. It's pretty awesome.
-
I don't know where that's from, or who wrote and if it was you, that's bad ass man. I'm going to print it an put it in my wallet as a reminder. kh300 whoever you are, I am forever in your debt....
no homo :D
100% original my friend. Like Tommyboy said you need to turn this into something positive. You cannot live without pain, most people will not grow without pain, so I'm not saying don't feel it, don't pretend it isn't there. But don't live in it. Let it guide you. As soon as you understand your higher purpose...whatever it may be.
So the plan is: Work, grow, expand, learn.. Love is NOT about receiving (learn to feel love as you give it, through contribution and growth), as long as you're seeking love from others you're headed for pain...to guide you back to your purpose....you're most likely so blind now that you can't see that. God is giving you this pain as a gift to get you back to what you need to be doing. The action(s) from where your true fulfillment will come. And life can be hard. Maybe its not as perfect or as magical as you thought it would be...pain exists when our conditions don't match our world model. So if we can't change the world we need to change our understanding of it.
This pain has nothing to do with this girl or with any other future girl. Its got to do with YOUR misunderstanding of life. its got to do with YOUR stunted spiritual growth. You fail her tests and your marriage, because you aren't at the level you need to be with your growth and understanding of things.
As soon as you allow this pain to guide you, to get you back to what you love and know you need to be doing then it will cease.
-
Wiggs-
I was married at 23, and divorced 3 years ago at 30.
Without getting into the entire story, I'll just say that it took me by surprise. I never thought, ever, that we would end our relationship. Even though we were weathering a rough stretch, I felt that we would work through it like every other time.
I was living out west and took a month sabatical to go east to visit friends and family. I was served divorce papers 2 weeks later. For the next year, I lived in an empty 3 bedroom apartment with no furniture. I ate out every meal, and I didn't work. I actually didn't work for 18 months, so I had a LOT of time to "experience my feelings".
Anger- came and went. Usually replaced with
Sorrow- about what was lost and never to be regained. I slept for days, read a lot, layed around a lot staring at the ceiling. Eventually this led to
Despair- Where I felt I had lost my edge as a man and didn't have anything to offer anyone. I covered it up by being the "guy" to go to when someone wanted to go out and let loose. I partied a lot, but wasn't having fun.
At some point, I started realizing I needed to fuck some bitches or I'd go crazy. I actually had to train myself to have libido again, as I'd lost it completely. I started back in the gym and started prioritizing getting laid. Had 5-6 months of solid sexcapades that were really fun. Still mourned the loss of my ex and was hurt, but pussy helped a lot.
Then I met my current GF. Lot's of stuff happened there and we are going on 2 years now, was very bumpy at first. Little by little, I realized I hadn't thought or cared about my ex for long stretches of time.
Now, almost 4 years later, I'm 99% ambivalent to her existence. I barely think about it at all. But I remember MY journey after the breakup, that will always stay with me.
-
Wiggs-
I was married at 23, and divorced 3 years ago at 30.
Without getting into the entire story, I'll just say that it took me by surprise. I never thought, ever, that we would end our relationship. Even though we were weathering a rough stretch, I felt that we would work through it like every other time.
I was living out west and took a month sabatical to go east to visit friends and family. I was served divorce papers 2 weeks later. For the next year, I lived in an empty 3 bedroom apartment with no furniture. I ate out every meal, and I didn't work. I actually didn't work for 18 months, so I had a LOT of time to "experience my feelings".
Anger- came and went. Usually replaced with
Sorrow- about what was lost and never to be regained. I slept for days, read a lot, layed around a lot staring at the ceiling. Eventually this led to
Despair- Where I felt I had lost my edge as a man and didn't have anything to offer anyone. I covered it up by being the "guy" to go to when someone wanted to go out and let loose. I partied a lot, but wasn't having fun.
At some point, I started realizing I needed to fuck some bitches or I'd go crazy. I actually had to train myself to have libido again, as I'd lost it completely. I started back in the gym and started prioritizing getting laid. Had 5-6 months of solid sexcapades that were really fun. Still mourned the loss of my ex and was hurt, but pussy helped a lot.
Then I met my current GF. Lot's of stuff happened there and we are going on 2 years now, was very bumpy at first. Little by little, I realized I hadn't thought or cared about my ex for long stretches of time.
Now, almost 4 years later, I'm 99% ambivalent to her existence. I barely think about it at all. But I remember MY journey after the breakup, that will always stay with me.
Thank you very much for sharing your story.
-
Wiggs,
Hang in. I know it's tough. I've been through some of it myself. Still married to my first wife even though we've had lots of "moments". With all the pressures in life it is a miracle people even stay together.
-
Wiggs, this board is about bodybuilding and weight-training and related topics, not a support group for your personal issues
-
Wiggs, this board is about bodybuilding and weight-training and related topics, not a support group for your personal issues
you must not know who i am...i make my own rules here, scram.
-
First, stop refering to yourself as a "divorcee". Be a man. Stop asking how others "feel" or "felt". It's nobody's godamn business or concern how a man feels. Fukk this emasculated, feminine emotional crap. Men have been dumbed down and bitched out.
-
First, stop refering to yourself as a "divorcee". Be a man. Stop asking how others "feel" or "felt". It's nobody's godamn business or concern how a man feels. Fukk this emasculated, feminine emotional crap. Men have been dumbed down and bitched out.
i can refer you to my shrink about that anger problem and lack of emotional depth...
What does that mean "be a man". Talking about the way you feel after a traumatic event and getting guidance isn't being a bitch or dumb down...What you said says alot about you...
-
Wiggs-
I was married at 23, and divorced 3 years ago at 30.
Without getting into the entire story, I'll just say that it took me by surprise. I never thought, ever, that we would end our relationship. Even though we were weathering a rough stretch, I felt that we would work through it like every other time.
I was living out west and took a month sabatical to go east to visit friends and family. I was served divorce papers 2 weeks later. For the next year, I lived in an empty 3 bedroom apartment with no furniture. I ate out every meal, and I didn't work. I actually didn't work for 18 months, so I had a LOT of time to "experience my feelings".
Anger- came and went. Usually replaced with
Sorrow- about what was lost and never to be regained. I slept for days, read a lot, layed around a lot staring at the ceiling. Eventually this led to
Despair- Where I felt I had lost my edge as a man and didn't have anything to offer anyone. I covered it up by being the "guy" to go to when someone wanted to go out and let loose. I partied a lot, but wasn't having fun.
At some point, I started realizing I needed to fuck some bitches or I'd go crazy. I actually had to train myself to have libido again, as I'd lost it completely. I started back in the gym and started prioritizing getting laid. Had 5-6 months of solid sexcapades that were really fun. Still mourned the loss of my ex and was hurt, but pussy helped a lot.
Then I met my current GF. Lot's of stuff happened there and we are going on 2 years now, was very bumpy at first. Little by little, I realized I hadn't thought or cared about my ex for long stretches of time.
Now, almost 4 years later, I'm 99% ambivalent to her existence. I barely think about it at all. But I remember MY journey after the breakup, that will always stay with me.
I lived 7 years with a total whore who played with me the perfect G.f role...
Finally i discovered that she cheated on me with a married man.
Because the guy called me to tell the truth, "to free his mind", i remember the call it was unreal, he was talking to me like i was the cheater and him her boyfriend.
The married man bought her ton's of gift because he was in love with her, and she sold them on e-bay to make money etc etc...a total whore.
I left her but had real trouble to forget that bitch even after month and even all the thing she did.
She broke me literraly.
Totally lost my libido even on gear, and left a lot of chick unsatisfied, because i didn't feel anything, desire, love, i define myself at that time as an "asexual".
Totally lost my self estim, and i got day with real bad feeling, some better and also the feeling that i have nothing to offer to a girl.
7 Month after thing are going a little bit better, but it's a long road to recover (longer than a 24 week cycle lol)
My two link to the life are my job, bodybuilding and a trip to vegas and L.A in september.
-
How does it feel to know that Chinese men are eating your fukkin lunch while your whining to shrinks and searching for your inner child? Keep snorting lines of bitchhood off Dr. Phils's ass and soon you'll be eating egg foo young for beakfast before memorizing your Karl Marx. Tell your shrink I said "fukk off".
lol...settle down bro...
-
I lived 7 years with a total whore who played with me the perfect G.f role...
Finally i discovered that she cheated on me with a married man.
Because the guy called me to tell the truth, "to free his mind", i remember the call it was unreal, he was talking to me like i was the cheater and him her boyfriend.
The married man bought her ton's of gift because he was in love with her, and she sold them on e-bay to make money etc etc...a total whore.
I left her but had real trouble to forget that bitch even after month and even all the thing she did.
She broke me literraly.
Totally lost my libido even on gear, and left a lot of chick unsatisfied, because i didn't feel anything, desire, love, i define myself at that time as an "asexual".
Totally lost my self estim, and i got day with real bad feeling, some better and also the feeling that i have nothing to offer to a girl.
7 Month after thing are going a little bit better, but it's a long road to recover (longer than a 24 week cycle lol)
My two link to the life are my job, bodybuilding and a trip to vegas and L.A in september.
Wow Jon. Thanks for sharing.