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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: A Professional on June 05, 2012, 04:29:41 AM
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I'll go first:
What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in a load of laundry woooosh!!!
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How do you get a clown off of a swing?
Hit it in the face with an axe.
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I'll go first:
What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in a load of laundry woooosh!!!
whats the difference between your mom and the laundry machine you mentioned? when i dump a load in the laundry machine, it doesnt blow up my phone for the next 2 weeks
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Who is sucking my cock?
Your mom.
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whats the difference between your mom and the laundry machine you mentioned? when i dump a load in the laundry machine, it doesnt blow up my phone for the next 2 weeks
What's the difference between your Mom and a Urinal at the Million Man March? Your mom has been pissed on by more black cocks
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whats the difference between your mom and the laundry machine you mentioned? when i dump a load in the laundry machine, it doesnt blow up my phone for the next 2 weeks
lol ;D
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How do you get a clown off of a swing?
Hit it in the face with an axe.
whats the difference between your mom and the laundry machine you mentioned? when i dump a load in the laundry machine, it doesnt blow up my phone for the next 2 weeks
LMAO....have a bronchial infection going right now and laughing is an absolute bitch....two awesome ones...LOL
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your moms so hairy when she shaved her pussy it filled a trashbag
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Legend of lowbrow humor ;D
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What does A Professional say to his boyfriend when they are going on vacation...........
Can I help you pack your shit.
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Legend of lowbrow humor ;D
God that guy was so shit, he served the lower class type of humor, not funny not witty not sarcastic - just plain stupid and low.
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Your Mama So Fat
when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...
she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!
folk exercise by jogging around her!
when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.
she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy
she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie
NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer
she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...
small objects orbit her.
she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.
when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.
when she farted she launched herself into orbit.
she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.
when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!
she could be the eighth continent.
she nearly put Safeway out of business
the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.
her Uni graduation photo was an aerial
when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.
she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.
her fave food is seconds.
her belt size is Equator.
she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid
she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her
she shows up on radar.
she needs a map to find her butt.
she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!
she wears an asteroid belt.
her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'
she has TB ... 2 bellys.
she's once, twice, three times a lady.
she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
the circus use her as a trampoline
stunt agencies use her as an air mattress
when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'
she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen
she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!
she deep fries her toothpaste
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A horse walks into a bar.....
Bartender goes "Why the long face?"
Horse says "I just found out I've got the AIDS".
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Two cannibals are sitting at a picnic table eating a clown......
One looks at the other and goes "Does this taste funny to you?".
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A Jewish daughter says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Joe." All he wants is sex, sex and more sex and he's so, so big. My vagina is now the size of a silver dollar when it used to be the size of a nickel."
Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live in an 8-bedroom mansion, you drive a $250,000 Ferrari, you get $2,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away...over what?.... 95 cents
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Guy comes home - in the door he shouts at his wife:
He: WOMAN, TIME FOR SOME BRUTAL RAPE SEX!!!!
She: no fucking way!!!!
He: THAT'S THE SPIRIT!!!
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A horse walks into a bar.....
Bartender goes "Why the long face?"
Horse says "I just found out I've got the AIDS".
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Two cannibals are sitting at a picnic table eating a clown......
One looks at the other and goes "Does this taste funny to you?".
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Second one is great :D
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musclecenter claims natural
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A terrorist, a muslim, a communist, a black guy and a white guy walk into a bar and the bartender says, "what can I get for you to drink Mr. President"?
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A terrorist, a muslim, a communist, a black guy and a white guy walk into a bar and the bartender says, "what can I get for you to drink Mr. President"?
((crickets))
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Nasser deserved to be Mr Olympia :-*
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Ha. Good thread. I want in on this.
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A terrorist, a muslim, a communist, a black guy and a white guy walk into a bar and the bartender says, "what can I get for you to drink Mr. President"?
thats fucking shit - look even in a lighthearted threat like this you have to push your right wing propaganda ::)
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thats fucking shit - look even in a lighthearted threat like this you have to push your right wing propaganda ::)
Quit whining. It's a joke.
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A Jewish kid asks to borrow $50 from his dad. Dad says,"40 bucks?! Why do you need 30 bucks?!"
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a jewish guy and a priest are sitting in a park, they see a 12 yr old boy walk by.
Priest: man, i'd really love to screw that boy
Jewish Guy: Out of what ?
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Guy: You wanna have sex?
Girl: No way!
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Because you're a pedophile.
Guy: Pedophile? Wow, that's a pretty big word for a 10-year-old.
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Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.
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Orange roughy: what you take after eating a big bag of cheese doodles.
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So, there's a flood in this town, and there's a priest standing waist deep in water. A boat comes by, offers to pick up the priest, but he refuses, saying that God will save him.
A few minutes later, the priest is shoulder deep in the water, and another boat comes by, offering to pick him up. Again, he refuses, saying that God will save him.
Finally, he is chin high in water, another boat comes by URGING him to get in, but yet again he refuses. A few minutes later, the priest drowns.
When he gets to heaven, he goes up to God, asking him why he didn't save his life.
God responds, "Mutherfucker, what are you talking about, I sent you three boats!!"
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a jewish guy and a priest are sitting in a park, they see a 12 yr old boy walk by, The priest says to the Jew " I bet he was hot before he got old"
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What is wrong with FatAlice, Derek Anthony, Pillowtalk and FatPanda going over a cliff in a car?
The car seats 5
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Why do black people have big lips?
Because the doctor has to put his foot on the back of their heads to pull their tails of when they're born
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A man says to his wife, "Honey, you three choices today. 1. You can go hunting with me today, 2. You can take it in the ass, or 3. You can give me a blowjob." The wife says, "Well, it's pretty damn cold outside, so I really don't want to go hunting. I've never had it in the ass before, and don't want to start now. So, I guess i'll give you that blowjob."
So the wife is giving him his blowjob, when she suddenly stops and says, "I can't fucking do this, your dick taste like shit!" The husband looks at her and says, "Yeah, well, the dog didn't want to go hunting either!"
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiing! :D
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2 jewish men are heading home from synagogue on sat, they always pass by a catholic church on the way, but this time there is a sign outside that reads, become a catholic and get paid 100$. interested one of the jewish men says he is going to see what this is all about and goes inside while the other one heads home for dinner but a week goes by and he has yet to hear from his friend, when he finally sees him he asks, so did you become a catholic? he says yes!!, did you get the 100$?.... why is it always about the money with YOU people?
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A man says to his wife, "Honey, you three choices today. 1. You can go hunting with me today, 2. You can take it in the ass, or 3. You can give me a blowjob." The wife says, "Well, it's pretty damn cold outside, so I really don't want to go hunting. I've never had it in the ass before, and don't want to start now. So, I guess i'll give you that blowjob."
So the wife is giving him his blowjob, when she suddenly stops and says, "I can't fucking do this, your dick taste like shit!" The husband looks at her and says, "Yeah, well, the dog didn't want to go hunting either!"
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiing! :D
I thought SMM didnt have a wife?
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A man says to his wife, "Honey, you three choices today. 1. You can go hunting with me today, 2. You can take it in the ass, or 3. You can give me a blowjob." The wife says, "Well, it's pretty damn cold outside, so I really don't want to go hunting. I've never had it in the ass before, and don't want to start now. So, I guess i'll give you that blowjob."
So the wife is giving him his blowjob, when she suddenly stops and says, "I can't fucking do this, your dick taste like shit!" The husband looks at her and says, "Yeah, well, the dog didn't want to go hunting either!"
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiing! :D
lol
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All class ;D ;D
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Dude rushes into the emergency room in a panic, looking for his wife. A doctor stops him in the hall. "Listen, sir," he says, "your wife's been in a horrible accident."
"Is she gonna be all right?" the man says.
"I'm afraid not," the doctor says, "it was a horrible accident. She's paralyzed, probably a vegetable. From here on out, you'll have to feed her, and bathe her ... you'll have to change her diaper. I won't kid you, it's going to be difficult."
The doctor watches as the man starts to sob. "Ok, ok, come on," doc says. "I'm just kidding. She's dead."
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I made a whole thread of jokes but it's not well visited, so I stopped :-\
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=370053.0
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I made a whole thread of jokes but it's not well visited, so I stopped :-\
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=370053.0
Fuck off fag.
What's red black and white and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head
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What do you call a fag with a ninja avatar?
A Profagsional
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What do you call a fag with a ninja avatar?
A Profagsional
Getbig's very own Don Rickles right here
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You mad brah?
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A Black guy, a Mexican guy and a Puerto Rican guy walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get the fuck out!"
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Two guys walking on the beach find a lantren. First guy rubs it and out pops a genie. "What is your wish? asks the genie. First guy says"I want a hundred beutiful naked women" Poof on the beach is 100 women. Second guy whispers in the genies ear and over the horizon come 10 guys on horse back wearing white hoods, they grab the 2 guys and ride over to the nearest tree put nooses around their necks. The first guy says" What the fuck did you wish for"? Second guy says "well you wished for 100 naked women so i wished for us to be hung like blacks".
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Gator, you left out 1 word.
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How does a little black girl know when her mother is on the rag?
Her brother's dick tastes funny.
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An Indian walks into the whorehouse and says "me have money, me want woman!" The madam asks the indian if he has any experience he says " me no have experience."
The madam tells the chief to go into the woods and find an old log with a knothole in it, practice, and that he can come back when he has experience.
A few days go by and the indian shows back up at the whorehouse, he says "me have money, me want woman" the madam says "ok chief, you have some experience right?" The indian grins and says "me have lots experience"
She points to the stairs and says "head on up chief, 1st door on the left"
The indian eagerly heads up the stairs and enters the room where he finds a woman waiting for him, she takes off her robe, crawls onto the bed and gets into position with her ass high in the air. She nods to the indian, and says " you have some experience right ?" The indian says " me know what to do" with that the indian starts smacking her ass as hard as he can, the lady freaks out and screams "what the hell are you doing?"
The indian calmly replies " first checkum for bees."
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I didnt leave out the important word someone edited.
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Guys?
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What do you call a deaf, dumb and blind retarded ginger kid?
Names.
What did the deaf, dumb and blind retarded ginger kid get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s720x720/521468_4064666932237_1149154960_33822958_1745085477_n.jpg)
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"And so God came forth and proclaimed widescreen to be the best".
Sony 16:9
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I saw a black man standing in my back garden this morning.
I opened the window and said, "What are you doing?"
"Sorry," he said, "I thought you were in Spain?"
"No," I replied. "I leave at 6am tomorrow."
"Okay," he said, jumping over the fence. "Have a lovely time."
"Will do," I smiled.
What a nice guy.
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(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s720x720/521468_4064666932237_1149154960_33822958_1745085477_n.jpg)
yes good joke haha
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;D
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