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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: 240 is Back on February 14, 2013, 11:43:13 PM

Title: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: 240 is Back on February 14, 2013, 11:43:13 PM

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
 
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/ leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
 
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
 
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: snx on February 15, 2013, 08:39:09 AM

Strong work. Tell me you wrote this.

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: Irongrip400 on February 15, 2013, 09:22:15 AM

Depends on whether or not there is conditioner in there and I decide to masturbate.

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: Thespritz0 on February 15, 2013, 09:51:41 AM

I shower as soon as your MOM leaves the shower... :D

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: 240 is Back on February 15, 2013, 09:52:18 AM

Quote from: snx on February 15, 2013, 08:39:09 AM

Strong work. Tell me you wrote this.

I hit Control-V.   

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: Schmoff on February 15, 2013, 09:53:04 AM

depends what your mom will do with me in the shower

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: 240 is Back on February 15, 2013, 10:09:41 AM

at what age did you guys' parents stop coming into the bathroom during your baths?


serious Q here... safety vs privacy issue?

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: Hulkotron on February 15, 2013, 10:11:23 AM

A joke about mom

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: True on February 15, 2013, 10:14:10 AM

You are 10 years late with this.... ::)

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: wild willie on February 15, 2013, 12:29:19 PM

i shower each night for a total of ten minutes.....dry off and place the towel over the shower door.

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: _bruce_ on February 15, 2013, 01:28:18 PM

Quote from: 240 is Back on February 15, 2013, 09:52:18 AM

I hit Control-V.   

 ;D

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: Palpatine Q on February 15, 2013, 01:31:51 PM

depends of whether i shave my balls cock and asshole area. takes time...a bleeding penis kinda kills the mood with the missus.

Title: Re: How many minutes do you spend in the shower each day?
Post by: B_B_C on February 17, 2013, 07:03:42 PM

Quote from: Groink on February 15, 2013, 01:31:51 PM

depends of whether i shave my balls cock and asshole area. takes time...a bleeding penis kinda kills the mood with the missus.

Dr Uberman the famous psycOnanist will be along later to take your details