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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Tapeworm on February 22, 2013, 10:41:38 AM

Title: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Tapeworm on February 22, 2013, 10:41:38 AM
Use a tall sided vessel, like a stock pot.  Get a couple pounds or so of lard in there and it won't spit much at all.

Lower the heat later on and leave the bacon in there until the bubbling slows right down.  Bacon will be perfectly crispy when it cools.  Pleasantly dark but no burned spots at all.  *Not for canadian bacon*

Retain the lard for other recipes or lubricant.
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Hulkotron on February 22, 2013, 11:13:57 AM
Strong advice from an obvious professional.
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Tapeworm on February 22, 2013, 11:39:39 AM
Oh sure.  They don't care about crispy bacon now, my friend.

Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: arce1988 on February 22, 2013, 02:42:12 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Obvious Gimmick on February 22, 2013, 04:28:31 PM
i hit my cock with a hot iron  when i was ironing shirts once.  :)

true story
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Irongrip400 on February 22, 2013, 04:31:15 PM
I usually cook breakfast on the weekends, and occasionally burn myself with popping bacon grease because I cook it in my underwear. Thanks for the advice.
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Obvious Gimmick on February 22, 2013, 04:33:21 PM
I usually cook breakfast on the weekends, and occasionally burn myself with popping bacon grease because I cook it in my underwear. Thanks for the advice.

back in my younger years when i smoked cannibus (and shitty cannibus at that) pot seeds would pop, one caught me right in the eye. not fun  :(
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: WOOO on February 22, 2013, 04:38:02 PM
Frying bacon naked is part of a young man's progression into manhood and a lifetime of having other men rub ointment on his body.
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: BIG ACH on February 22, 2013, 10:21:05 PM

I always fucking forget and cook Bacon shirtless then I'm jumping around like an ass going "WHAT THE FUCK!!" when it starts spitting on me!
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: mr.turbo on February 22, 2013, 10:24:23 PM
dont put your penis in the pot until its cooled off guys
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Jadeveon Clowney on February 22, 2013, 10:30:40 PM
I always fucking forget and cook Bacon shirtless then I'm jumping around like an ass going "WHAT THE FUCK!!" when it starts spitting on me!

damn dude all that jumping around without adequate support up top must hurt.
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: WOOO on February 23, 2013, 02:27:40 AM
dont put your penis in the pot until its cooled off guys

Sound advice
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Parker on February 23, 2013, 02:28:55 AM
I always fucking forget and cook Bacon shirtless then I'm jumping around like an ass going "WHAT THE FUCK!!" when it starts spitting on me!
there is this thing called an 'oven', you stick the bacon in there.
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Purple Aki on February 23, 2013, 03:29:56 AM
Lardon sounds a bit like hard on.
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Purple Aki on February 23, 2013, 03:30:48 AM
and both are salty treats you cant help but cram into your mouth. (no homo)
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: WOOO on February 23, 2013, 04:06:54 AM
there is this thing called an 'oven', you stick the bacon in there.


That sounds more dangerous for your penis

No homo
Title: Re: Frying bacon naked
Post by: Tapeworm on February 23, 2013, 06:44:43 AM
there is this thing called an 'oven', you stick the bacon in there.

Bacon here is quite lean so immersion in hot fat gives me a better crisp instead of a bacon jerky result.


It should even retain it's crispy texture if added in bits to a prefrozen maple bourbon ice cream.  Will confirm.


Also this about food.  Goes to show ya.