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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: syntaxmachine on May 16, 2013, 02:30:11 AM

Title: G&O Weekly - Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: syntaxmachine on May 16, 2013, 02:30:11 AM
KFC Runner
15 May 2013
IronMeister and syntaxmachine

One year ago, Wiggs was living in a soggy, mold-encrusted box and panhandling on a Las Vegas street corner. But he had a deep-seated dream -- fostered since childhood when the drive-through lady mistook him for a girl and put a barbie doll in his happy meal -- to be a fast food professional. That dream, along with the propensity for fierce determination encoded in his Hebrew DNA molecules, kept him chugging and chooming along.

He was in a bind: having purportedly been sober since mid-2011, Wiggs succumbed to drinking again. Arby's retracted its earlier job offer, and Wiggs ended up briefly detained by the Las Vegas Police Department with a transsexual prostitute after a fierce yelling match. The dream seemed nowhere near actualization.

Hoping to take a sabbatical from being unemployed, Wiggs visited the land of milk and honey to convalesce and pay tribute to his ancestors. Little did Wiggs know, Kentucky Fried Chicken is something of a revolutionary symbol in the Middle East: enterprising Palestinians have begun smuggling fried chicken 35 miles from Egypt. And Wiggs has leapt on the opportunity to finally fulfill his dream.

(http://i44.tinypic.com/eitswl.jpg)

According to anonymous sources, Wiggs has formed a local delivery company with a Facebook page which serves as a front for smuggling KFC into the Gaza Strip by the bucket load. "Now, I'm working day and night to extend to my true Hebrew brethren some of the freedoms Americans take for granted -- particularly, the freedom to be as morbidly obese as I was at that one bodybuilding expo. Holy sh*t was I fat as f*ck. That's something I don't want these people to miss out on, besides the glorious fried chicken."

A network of hundreds of tunnels connects Gaza to Egypt along their seven-mile border, allowing food, medicine, cars, construction materials, weapons and popcorn chicken to bypass an Israeli blockade.

Despite the blockade, things seem to be working well for Colonel Sanders fans. According to Wiggs, smugglers in need of work will move a meal for roughly $40 to $50 — down from $200 or more only three years ago. With a glint in his eye apparent on his otherwise utterly obsidian face, Wiggs describes plans to expand to watermelon smuggling. "I've got a very skilled smuggler coming over, too. Due to recent career choices of his own, that guy can store watermelons where the sun don't shine like nobody else -- he's perfect for the job!"

(http://i43.tinypic.com/31443tl.jpg)
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Kwon_2 on May 16, 2013, 02:35:52 AM
LOL you had the SheepShagger there was well
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: IronMeister on May 16, 2013, 03:44:33 AM
(http://i43.tinypic.com/2n20gox.jpg)

(http://i39.tinypic.com/nqnv6f.jpg)
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: IronMeister on May 16, 2013, 04:28:24 AM
(http://i39.tinypic.com/22cbpe.jpg)
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: manuelsonn on May 16, 2013, 04:30:43 AM
lol, i m pissing all over wigs off laughter
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: _bruce_ on May 16, 2013, 04:33:45 AM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Roger Bacon on May 16, 2013, 10:30:47 AM
hahhahahahahhahahahah!!! FUCK!!

Thank you, needed a good laugh!!!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Psychopath on May 16, 2013, 10:36:51 AM
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBFe2V0qd3Q)
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Archer77 on May 16, 2013, 10:55:34 AM
I love fried chicken. I didn't even notice wiggs.  Ate half a large watermelon last night...no joke.
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Emmortal on May 16, 2013, 10:56:48 AM
I love fried chicken. I didn't even notice wiggs.  Ate half a large watermelon last night...no joke.

Racist post reported.
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Archer77 on May 16, 2013, 10:58:20 AM
Racist post reported.

Since when is love of fried chicken and watermelon racist.  ;D  Seriously,  I could eat it every night.
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Thespritz0 on May 16, 2013, 11:09:36 AM
I wonder HOW he's going to take this????? ???
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: andreisdaman on May 16, 2013, 11:12:15 AM
This is fucking hilarious....laughed my fucking ass off!!!! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: arce1988 on May 16, 2013, 12:37:30 PM
(http://roseburgrestaurantmenus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/carlsjr.jpg)
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Wiggs on May 16, 2013, 12:48:54 PM
lolololololololololololo lolololololololololololo lolololololololol!!!!!!!!!!!! I still have a sense of humor gentlemen. And thanks for getting the Hebrew part right.

Well done! ;D ;D ;D

LMAO at YAGR the alien.
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: King Shizzo on May 16, 2013, 12:53:07 PM
You should write a blog.  :D
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Coach is Back! on May 16, 2013, 04:03:26 PM
KFC Runner
15 May 2013
IronMeister and syntaxmachine

One year ago, Wiggs was living in a soggy, mold-encrusted box and panhandling on a Las Vegas street corner. But he had a deep-seated dream -- fostered since childhood when the drive-through lady mistook him for a girl and put a barbie doll in his happy meal -- to be a fast food professional. That dream, along with the propensity for fierce determination encoded in his Hebrew DNA molecules, kept him chugging and chooming along.

He was in a bind: having purportedly been sober since mid-2011, Wiggs succumbed to drinking again. Arby's retracted its earlier job offer, and Wiggs ended up briefly detained by the Las Vegas Police Department with a transsexual prostitute after a fierce yelling match. The dream seemed nowhere near actualization.

Hoping to take a sabbatical from being unemployed, Wiggs visited the land of milk and honey to convalesce and pay tribute to his ancestors. Little did Wiggs know, Kentucky Fried Chicken is something of a revolutionary symbol in the Middle East: enterprising Palestinians have begun smuggling fried chicken 35 miles from Egypt. And Wiggs has leapt on the opportunity to finally fulfill his dream.

(http://i44.tinypic.com/eitswl.jpg)

According to anonymous sources, Wiggs has formed a local delivery company with a Facebook page which serves as a front for smuggling KFC by the bucket load into the Gaza Strip. "Now, I'm working day and night to extend to my true Hebrew brethren some of the freedoms Americans take for granted -- particularly, the freedom to be as morbidly obese as I was at that one bodybuilding expo. Holy sh*t was I fat as f*ck. That's something I don't want these people to miss out on, besides the glorious fried chicken."

A network of hundreds of tunnels connects Gaza to Egypt along their seven-mile border, allowing food, medicine, cars, construction materials, weapons and popcorn chicken to bypass an Israeli blockade.

It all seems to be working out well for Colonel Sanders fans, despite the blockade. According to Wiggs, smugglers in need of work will move a meal for roughly $40 to $50 — down from $200 or more only three years ago. With a glint in his eye apparent on his otherwise utterly obsidian face, Wiggs describes plans to expand to watermelon smuggling. "I've got a very skilled smuggler coming over, too. Due to recent career choices of his own, that guy can store watermelons where the sun don't shine like nobody else -- he's perfect for the job!"

(http://i43.tinypic.com/31443tl.jpg)

LMAO..hahahaha!
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: haider on May 16, 2013, 07:36:01 PM
LOL I was shocked to find that this is actually inspired from a true story ;D

http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/16/world/meast/gaza-kfc-smuggling/index.html?hpt=hp_t3 (http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/16/world/meast/gaza-kfc-smuggling/index.html?hpt=hp_t3)
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: George Whorewell on May 16, 2013, 08:23:14 PM
LMAOOOOOOOO

Brilliant

 ;D
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Mr Nobody on May 16, 2013, 08:32:27 PM
LOL some funny shit right there Ironm always brings it.
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: FitnessFrenzy on May 20, 2013, 01:27:15 PM
when syntaxmachine and ironmeister team up, you know the thread will deliver.  ;D
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Borracho on May 24, 2013, 04:44:38 PM
Never realized this column got pinned.... hahaha epic!
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Obvious Gimmick on May 24, 2013, 06:16:22 PM
Hahaha....... :D
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: Bad News Brown on May 24, 2013, 06:27:58 PM
Now this is some funny fu**in shit!!!!  ;D

(http://replygif.net/i/538.gif)
Title: Re: JUST IN: Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: The Abdominal Snoman on May 27, 2013, 09:47:39 PM
lmao at the Alien...
Title: Re: G&O Weekly - Infamous Getbigger's Illegal Occupation Revealed!
Post by: G_Thang on August 08, 2013, 05:47:45 AM
Sick photoshops.  ;D 

IM and Khof should join forces for G&O Weekly.