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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Man of Steel on October 15, 2013, 08:03:08 AM

Title: Private moments of epic
Post by: Man of Steel on October 15, 2013, 08:03:08 AM
Farted for about 9 seconds solid in the shower this morning....just a good ole fashioned egg white protein rip!

I'm pretty sure it was 9 seconds cause I was 3 seconds deep when I realized how epic the fart was and then began counting the remainder.

I literally thought my entire body was going to smell like that fart, but fortunately the Irish Spring took over.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about myself this morning.   8)
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: BigCyp on October 15, 2013, 08:06:28 AM
I can't describe how I feel right now

Mind = blown
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: _aj_ on October 15, 2013, 08:40:48 AM
Were you puckering to preserve the distance or was this full open-hole? If the latter, that is epic. Your waist must have gone down 6"
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: dyslexic on October 15, 2013, 08:46:54 AM
Good thing you were in the shower so that you could wash that stench and goop outta your crack ~



Thanks for sharing ~



Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: BigCyp on October 15, 2013, 09:00:51 AM
Good thing you were in the shower so that you could wash that stench and goop outta your crack ~



Thanks for sharing ~





Man of Steel doesn't get 'goop' in his 'crack'. His butthole is waxed soooo smooth, and bleached soooo white, that he only keeps toilet roll in the house for gently catching and releasing spiders.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Hulkotron on October 15, 2013, 09:03:16 AM
Great news glad to hear
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Tapeworm on October 15, 2013, 09:09:59 AM
Wtf.  It doesn't count if you're alone.  This is right up there in The Guy Rulebook with "Don't extend your pinkie finger when lifting a glass."

You don't fart in private.  Just what the hell is wrong with you anyway?
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Man of Steel on October 15, 2013, 09:11:26 AM
Man of Steel doesn't get 'goop' in his 'crack'. His butthole is waxed soooo smooth, and bleached soooo white, that he only keeps toilet roll in the house for gently catching and releasing spiders.

My customers wouldn't have it any other way.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Man of Steel on October 15, 2013, 09:16:38 AM
Wtf.  It doesn't count if you're alone.  This is right up there in The Guy Rulebook with "Don't extend your pinkie finger when lifting a glass."

You don't fart in private.  Just what the hell is wrong with you anyway?

I apologize, there simply wasn't enough time to hang my buttocks out the bathroom window and share with the neighbors.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Hulkotron on October 15, 2013, 09:18:44 AM
hang my buttocks

Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Tapeworm on October 15, 2013, 09:20:21 AM
Well see that you do.  I still respect your effort to report it here, I guess.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Dago_Joe on October 15, 2013, 09:21:08 AM
My customers wouldn't have it any other way.

How much are "private posing" sessions running?  Never mind, I will just email Kai Greene and tell him I have a bag of grapefruits, a camera, and several wealthy "gentlemen" who would like to meet him.  
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Man of Steel on October 15, 2013, 09:26:39 AM
How much are "private posing" sessions running?  Never mind, I will just email Kai Greene and tell him I have a bag of grapefruits, a camera, and several wealthy "gentlemen" who would like to meet him. 

Reasonably priced, but referral based only.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on October 15, 2013, 09:27:20 AM
You must ask yourself.  If you fart an no one is around, does it make a sound?
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: chaos on October 15, 2013, 09:34:46 AM
Man of Steel doesn't get 'goop' in his 'crack'. His butthole is waxed soooo smooth, and bleached soooo white, that he only keeps toilet roll in the house for gently catching and releasing spiders.
Lol
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Papper on October 15, 2013, 09:45:42 AM
Epic would be farting directly at a lady interests face.

Although this is one story I am willing to believe as real.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Man of Steel on October 15, 2013, 09:56:58 AM
Were you puckering to preserve the distance or was this full open-hole? If the latter, that is epic. Your waist must have gone down 6"

Yes, this was full open hole!!
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: 240 is Back on October 15, 2013, 11:04:40 AM
am i the only one here that bleaches
























my armpits?
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Irongrip400 on October 15, 2013, 12:32:54 PM
I bet it smelled like condoms when you got done. Unless you're a bug chaser, then, who knows.  :-\
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: True_Security on October 15, 2013, 01:59:34 PM
Farted for about 9 seconds solid in the shower this morning....just a good ole fashioned egg white protein rip!

I'm pretty sure it was 9 seconds cause I was 3 seconds deep when I realized how epic the fart was and then began counting the remainder.

I literally thought my entire body was going to smell like that fart, but fortunately the Irish Spring took over.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about myself this morning.   8)
This vulgar dirtbag calls himself a Christian. I'd like to throw him down a couple of flights of stairs.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Man of Steel on October 16, 2013, 08:11:12 AM
This vulgar dirtbag calls himself a Christian. I'd like to throw him down a couple of flights of stairs.
AHAHAAHAHAH!!!  "vulgar dirtbag"

Got news for ya....Jesus Christ lived on this earth as a man and experienced all that comes with that so as far as I'm aware he pee'd, pooped, burped and farted like the 12 men that followed him around and everyone else on the planet.   I doubt he engaged in a campfire "fart off" with the disciples, but you gotta realize he was hangin out with a bunch of regular Joes..... a bunch of dudes.   Sorry, but men fart while sitting, walking, sleeping, eating, drinking, laughing, being sick, talking, reading, etc......farts are just farts LOL. 

Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: bradistani on October 16, 2013, 08:12:40 AM
Farted for about 9 seconds solid in the shower this morning....just a good ole fashioned egg white protein rip!

I'm pretty sure it was 9 seconds cause I was 3 seconds deep when I realized how epic the fart was and then began counting the remainder.

I literally thought my entire body was going to smell like that fart, but fortunately the Irish Spring took over.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about myself this morning.   8)

how bad did that bad boy stink ?
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Man of Steel on October 16, 2013, 08:15:26 AM
how bad did that bad boy stink ?

In the shower with the steam it was awful......as George Carlin once said it was "a fart that could end a marriage".
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: bradistani on October 16, 2013, 08:20:16 AM
In the shower with the steam it was awful......as George Carlin once said it was "a fart that could end a marriage".

a brutal fart like that is such a waste if there's no one around to suffocate and enrage share it with  :-X
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: True_Security on October 16, 2013, 08:21:00 AM
AHAHAAHAHAH!!!  "vulgar dirtbag"

Got news for ya....Jesus Christ lived on this earth as a man and experienced all that comes with that so as far as I'm aware he pee'd, pooped, burped and farted like the 12 men that followed him around and everyone else on the planet.   I doubt he engaged in a campfire "fart off" with the disciples, but you gotta realize he was hangin out with a bunch of regular Joes..... a bunch of dudes.   Sorry, but men fart while sitting, walking, sleeping, eating, drinking, laughing, being sick, talking, reading, etc......farts are just farts LOL. 


I said I wanted to throw you down a flight of stairs. Not read a lengthy response. Which I didn't.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: JOHN MATRIX on October 16, 2013, 08:25:27 AM
I had one of these the other day. I will never eat Bushs baked beans again in my life, I thought my stomach was gonna pop cause of all the air pressure they created. I sat on the toilet and farted so long it was unbelieveable; I could literally see my stomach going down like a balloon deflating. Never experienced that before in my life. The fart had to be close to 10 seconds in length
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: bradistani on October 16, 2013, 08:28:35 AM
I had one of these the other day. I will never eat Bushs baked beans again in my life, I thought my stomach was gonna pop cause of all the air pressure they created. I sat on the toilet and farted so long it was unbelieveable; I could literally see my stomach going down like a balloon deflating. Never experienced that before in my life. The fart had to be close to 10 seconds in length

a second longer than mos'.. i see !  ;)
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on October 16, 2013, 08:30:11 AM
Not sure how many of you guys have tried Vanadyl Sulfate.  That would give you the foulest smelling farts ever.  My vascularity was killer with it but my farts were fucking deadly.
Title: Re: Private moments of epic
Post by: Man of Steel on October 16, 2013, 10:40:05 AM
I said I wanted to throw you down a flight of stairs. Not read a lengthy response. Which I didn't.

Already fallen down a flight of stairs before....not interested in round 2.