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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: ESFitness on December 17, 2013, 09:05:18 PM
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I've had it with my kids mother.
she filed for full custody about 3yrs ago (after we'd already split), I figured I wouldn't fight it for 2 reasons. #1 didn't want to drag my kids through a custody battle, since I'd been in one with my parents divorced. and #2, I figured she'd get more financial aid/benefits with full custody and since they lived with her, she'd need it more than me.
well, it's been 3years of her making visitation as difficult as she possible can.
agreeing to visitation's, only to text/email back an hour later to cancel... this happens constantly.
($20 says she told her bf I was gonna be in town in a couple days and wanted to see my kids and he says "fuck no.. don't let him call the shots. demand he makes the apt 2 weeks in advance" or something similar... )
well, today is the last straw. I'm filing for joint custody to get at the very least court ordered visitation.
I'm in CA, and we live in different cities.
I know technically, I don't need a lawyer to file the paperwork, but if I don't get a lawyer am I killing my chances at getting court ordered visitation?
I'm fully employed and have been for years, and I've never missed or been late on a child support payment. I can provide financially for myself as well as my children. She, on the other hand, has not held a job for longer than a few months since 2005.. and has been going to 'nursing school' off and on since 2001. (she already has a BA from UCLA, but refuses to use it to obtain a 'real' job).
I do copies of every bit of correspondence where she's canceled the visits. emails, texts, ect...
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sorry brother :(
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Get an attorney. I actually won primary custody of my kids that way.
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ESFitness,
sorry to read about this, I can only imagine the pain of being on the short end of visitations. I'm no expert but her lack of action to enter the job market could be playing in your favor. You seem like a decent guy able to provide. Lots have changed in the last 10 years when it comes to custody and correlation with income and lifestyle. Let me dig a little and check your PM, a good friend of mine is a divorce lawyer and I highly recommend him.
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Get an attorney. I actually won primary custody of my kids that way.
Ditto. Find one that is referred by Fathers Advocates. Took me about 7months and $22k but worth every penny.
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If the bitch wants to fight, yes.
If she wants to be a good mother and play nice, no.
What sucks is this: If she is going to make you fight for custody, she will take out any problems she has with you on the kids.
Could go either way.
My ex is still a great friend. We split amicably. We never let the kids feel any pain. Never made them choose. Never tried to turn them against the other parent. We still spend holidays together. Our kids (until they grew up) could stay with either one of us whenever they wanted.
My GF has absolutely NO say in anything, neither does my ex's BF.
That is called respect. We are the parents of these children and nothing can change that. She should respect that.
Unfortunately, many women get stupid and emotional and use the kids as if they were Pawns in a Chess game.
Good luck bro ~
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Don't ever believe she will not bring one of her own.
Remain calm and patient, then when she least expects it... Fuck that bitch in her anus without lube and with no remorse.
"Beware the fury of a patient man."
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You need an attorney
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You need an attorney
And a good one.
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the good thing is I train attorneys.
the bad thing is I train attorneys that dont' deal with custody/divorce stuff. lol
I know for a fact she won't get an attorney because she can't afford one.. her parents would have to pay for it, and they are tired of paying for her shit.
I'm fucking furious right now, probably best to sleep on it a bit.
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If the bitch wants to fight, yes.
If she wants to be a good mother and play nice, no.
What sucks is this: If she is going to make you fight for custody, she will take out any problems she has with you on the kids.
Could go either way.
My ex is still a great friend. We split amicably. We never let the kids feel any pain. Never made them choose. Never tried to turn them against the other parent. We still spend holidays together. Our kids (until they grew up) could stay with either one of us whenever they wanted.
My GF has absolutely NO say in anything, neither does my ex's BF.
That is called respect. We are the parents of these children and nothing can change that. She should respect that.
Unfortunately, many women get stupid and emotional and use the kids as if they were Pawns in a Chess game.
Good luck bro ~
Ideally it would be awesome to have this but my experience taught me people change in time and not always for the best. Either way id hire a lawyer and draft a VERY specific parenting plan. If you guys deviate cool but if she gets crazy later you have something to fall back on. Pm me ill give you something's to ask for as a father.
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thank god I've never let her know how I make my money. as far as she knows I work and get a paycheck (from which they take child support).
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If she knows you use or worse still sell, Aas then wave your kids bye bye.
They'll paint you as a potential Chris Benoit and the judge will order a drug test then join in condemning you as more dangerous to kids than a convicted sex offender.
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Yes, when you need advice about law, definitely ask getbiggers.
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Yes, when you need advice about law, definitely ask getbiggers.
well, I ask here. maybe somebody here was in a similar situation.
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well, I ask here. maybe somebody here was in a similar situation.
Been there twice. Won both times. Both wins were for daughters which if anyone knows the fucking system its hard as shit to get custody of girls as a father.
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Good luck in California, you need to PROVE she's an unfit mother to get full custody or she has to surrender custody to you. If your going to court you need a lawyer,good luck
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:(
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What a evil bitch..how can she do that to her own kids. No mather how much i would hate my daughters mother it wouldnt mather cause i love my daughter and she loves her mother and that is way much more important than my ego.
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I've had it with my kids mother.
she filed for full custody about 3yrs ago (after we'd already split), I figured I wouldn't fight it for 2 reasons. #1 didn't want to drag my kids through a custody battle, since I'd been in one with my parents divorced. and #2, I figured she'd get more financial aid/benefits with full custody and since they lived with her, she'd need it more than me.
well, it's been 3years of her making visitation as difficult as she possible can.
agreeing to visitation's, only to text/email back an hour later to cancel... this happens constantly.
($20 says she told her bf I was gonna be in town in a couple days and wanted to see my kids and he says "fuck no.. don't let him call the shots. demand he makes the apt 2 weeks in advance" or something similar... )
well, today is the last straw. I'm filing for joint custody to get at the very least court ordered visitation.
I'm in CA, and we live in different cities.
I know technically, I don't need a lawyer to file the paperwork, but if I don't get a lawyer am I killing my chances at getting court ordered visitation?
I'm fully employed and have been for years, and I've never missed or been late on a child support payment. I can provide financially for myself as well as my children. She, on the other hand, has not held a job for longer than a few months since 2005.. and has been going to 'nursing school' off and on since 2001. (she already has a BA from UCLA, but refuses to use it to obtain a 'real' job).
I do copies of every bit of correspondence where she's canceled the visits. emails, texts, ect...
That sounds tough, especially after going through the divorce of your parents.
You need a lawyer. Women have the advantage in child custody hearings. And you want to win.
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What a evil bitch..how can she do that to her own kids. No mather how much i would hate my daughters mother it wouldnt mather cause i love my daughter and she loves her mother and that is way much more important than my ego.
yes it's totally selfish. The children need their father too and being apart from him is hurting them.
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I'm not looking for full custody, I just want court-ordered visitation to where she cannot pull a "oh, Saturday isn't going to work for us.. something came up" without giving a reason when she'd previously agreed to the time/day.. or when she does agree to visits, it's "we will be there 11ish-noon" on a Saturday, when she knows I work till midnight or have clients Saturdays that I need to reschedule or cancel (canceling 2 clients costs me $200), knowing that it takes me 2hours driving to get there at least.. I say i'll be there at noon.. and she says "we'll be gone by noon".. so what? I get to see them from "11ish till noon"? when "11ish" to her means 11:20am.. so I get what? 40 fucking minutes? and she needed 2 weeks notice for that? fuck that bitch..... I'm filing papers, and we'll let the courts figure it out. you have your friends/sister/boyfriend who've been "advising" you to thank for dragging your kids into court.... she could've made it very easy. just take your money and child support and let me see my kids like you agreed... but no, she wants the money, but make it cost me $100-200 in client money/income, $60 in gas, $60 in hotel, $50-100 in food (for me and if the kids eat) and more (stuff for the kids/entertainment/gifts, ect...) that's more money than she earns in her part-time job in 2 weeks.
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I'm not looking for full custody, I just want court-ordered visitation to where she cannot pull a "oh, Saturday isn't going to work for us.. something came up" without giving a reason when she'd previously agreed to the time/day.. or when she does agree to visits, it's "we will be there 11ish-noon" on a Saturday, when she knows I work till midnight or have clients Saturdays that I need to reschedule or cancel (canceling 2 clients costs me $200), knowing that it takes me 2hours driving to get there at least.. I say i'll be there at noon.. and she says "we'll be gone by noon".. so what? I get to see them from "11ish till noon"? when "11ish" to her means 11:20am.. so I get what? 40 fucking minutes? and she needed 2 weeks notice for that? fuck that bitch..... I'm filing papers, and we'll let the courts figure it out. you have your friends/sister/boyfriend who've been "advising" you to thank for dragging your kids into court.... she could've made it very easy. just take your money and child support and let me see my kids like you agreed... but no, she wants the money, but make it cost me $100-200 in client money/income, $60 in gas, $60 in hotel, $50-100 in food (for me and if the kids eat) and more (stuff for the kids/entertainment/gifts, ect...) that's more money than she earns in her part-time job in 2 weeks.
Was she a girl when you were with her? Or did she become bitter because you dumped her?
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Was she a girl when you were with her? Or did she become bitter because you dumped her?
she was 24 when we met, I was younger (try not to tell my age on this site), we were together about a decade... she's bitter for a bunch of reasons.. 3 I can think of, I suppose.
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Lawyer up...I'm going through a mess my self with my ex....just make sure he is good. Pm me I know some good ones.
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yes it's totally selfish. The children need their father too and being apart from him is hurting them.
i know a couple that is like that. The bitch met my former friend when the baby was just 2months old and they have done everything they can to hold the kid away from the real father and his family, kids grandparents and aunts etc..they evwn learned the kid to call his stepdad for dad and the real dad by his name. They filed a charged for childabuse that was completly false (i was a friend with the stepfather that time until he stepped on my toes so he said it to me) in thqt way they coumd keep the kid 1year from the real dad..he is 6 now and 3 of those year total he didnt see his real father. It took ubtil he was 1.5 year they where forced to let the real dad be with his kid and at that time he was just a stranger tp the poor kid....fucking assholes. The kid has suffered the most just because of their selfishness
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Good luck bro
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You need an attorney! Obviously someone that specializes in family law in California!
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Paul Hudd
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It baffles my mind that you guys post stuff like this on a bodybuilding chat forum.
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Paul Hudd
you mean paul hupp lol
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It baffles my mind that you guys post stuff like this on a bodybuilding chat forum.
why?
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here's some better advice bro
try arbitration
way cheaper and less antagonistic all around which is better for the kiddos
the court option should be the last resort
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why?
Posting very personal information on a bodybuilding forum called getbig in gossip and opinions just doesn't seem like a smart idea. I would think there would be better resources out there to solicit this type of advice.
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you mean paul hupp lol
Oh yeah that's it ;D
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Oh yeah that's it ;D
paul hupp is a legend not only on getbig..lots of shit about him on the net if you google his name lol
http://blog.simplejustice.us/2010/10/29/maybe-not-as-persuasive-as-it-seemed/
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i know a couple that is like that. The bitch met my former friend when the baby was just 2months old and they have done everything they can to hold the kid away from the real father and his family, kids grandparents and aunts etc..they evwn learned the kid to call his stepdad for dad and the real dad by his name. They filed a charged for childabuse that was completly false (i was a friend with the stepfather that time until he stepped on my toes so he said it to me) in thqt way they coumd keep the kid 1year from the real dad..he is 6 now and 3 of those year total he didnt see his real father. It took ubtil he was 1.5 year they where forced to let the real dad be with his kid and at that time he was just a stranger tp the poor kid....fucking assholes. The kid has suffered the most just because of their selfishness
The child deserves to have a relationship with both its mother and its father. People should put aside their feelings for the sake of their child and be as mature as possible and keep things civil. It's really really sad when a parent uses the child as a pawn to get back at the other person. The children's happiest should come first!!!!
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Seems to me it would be a lot less expensive to buy a hammer, a shovel, and a few acres of property out in the Nevada desert.
PWR
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I'm not looking for full custody, I just want court-ordered visitation to where she cannot pull a "oh, Saturday isn't going to work for us..
Your chances of winning are much much higher if you're just trying to be a dad. ....as long as she doesn't have shit on you. One thing for sure. After there is a parenting plan in place hold her ads to it. Buy a journal and document everything and file contempt if she tries to fuck around. After so many of those you can get custody of you wanted.
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The child deserves to have a relationship with both its mother and its father. People should put aside their feelings for the sake of their child and be as mature as possible and keep things civil. It's really really sad when a parent uses the child as a pawn to get back at the other person. The children's happiest should come first!!!!
you are are 100% right..not only did they try to prevent him from knowing his father but his grandparents and his hole half side of his relatives. Thats a part of why im not friends anymore with them.
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Your chances of winning are much much higher if you're just trying to be a dad. ....as long as she doesn't have shit on you. One thing for sure. After there is a parenting plan in place hold her ads to it. Buy a journal and document everything and file contempt if she tries to fuck around. After so many of those you can get custody of you wanted.
good advice, and record every meeting with her or phonecall (of course dont let ver know that you do it) . If she says something stupid about the whole thing it will be a huge deal when you are in the court. There are apps for tthatyou can download to your smartphone. I know i guy that did it and the bitch admitted to him just that she hates him (he had a new gf) and that the only reason she has lied about him and is trying to get full custody is because she dont want her kid to get a new mommy (her word lol). She couldnt deny it when it was recorded
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good advice, and record every meeting with her or phonecall (of course dont let ver know that you do it) . If she says something stupid about the whole thing it will be a huge deal when you are in the court. There are apps for tthatyou can download to your smartphone. I know i guy that did it and the bitch admitted to him just that she hates him (he had a new gf) and that the only reason she has lied about him and is trying to get full custody is because she dont want her kid to get a new mommy (her word lol). She couldnt deny it when it was recorded
Better check Cali laws first. Its illegal to record calls unless the other person is aware in some states. Dont want to give her any ammo.
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Better check Cali laws first. Its illegal to record calls unless the other person is aware in some states. Dont want to give her any ammo.
True here to. That's why if she wants to be an immature retard you tell her you'd like to only communicate via text or email. If she call first thing you say is this call is being recorded.
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I've had it with my kids mother.
she filed for full custody about 3yrs ago (after we'd already split), I figured I wouldn't fight it for 2 reasons. #1 didn't want to drag my kids through a custody battle, since I'd been in one with my parents divorced. and #2, I figured she'd get more financial aid/benefits with full custody and since they lived with her, she'd need it more than me.
well, it's been 3years of her making visitation as difficult as she possible can.
agreeing to visitation's, only to text/email back an hour later to cancel... this happens constantly.
($20 says she told her bf I was gonna be in town in a couple days and wanted to see my kids and he says "fuck no.. don't let him call the shots. demand he makes the apt 2 weeks in advance" or something similar... )
well, today is the last straw. I'm filing for joint custody to get at the very least court ordered visitation.
I'm in CA, and we live in different cities.
I know technically, I don't need a lawyer to file the paperwork, but if I don't get a lawyer am I killing my chances at getting court ordered visitation?
I'm fully employed and have been for years, and I've never missed or been late on a child support payment. I can provide financially for myself as well as my children. She, on the other hand, has not held a job for longer than a few months since 2005.. and has been going to 'nursing school' off and on since 2001. (she already has a BA from UCLA, but refuses to use it to obtain a 'real' job).
I do copies of every bit of correspondence where she's canceled the visits. emails, texts, ect...
Get an attorney...a cut throat attorney. These are your kids. If you want them, fight for them. But here's the big question. is she a good mother? I went through this but from beginning to end I had custody of my son. I wound up with full custody with her only getting 12% visitation. Document EVERYTHING.
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She is violating the intent of the parental custody laws in Calif. STANDARD- even if you are a fuck up- which you aren't- is every other weekend, alternate holidays and a mid week visit. Minimum. Get a notebook and document everything. Every visit. Every phone call. Good luck!
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Better check Cali laws first. Its illegal to record calls unless the other person is aware in some states. Dont want to give her any ammo.
aaah thats true didnt think about it. Here in sweden you can do that as long you are a part of the conversation.
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aaah thats true didnt think about it. Here in sweden you can do that as long you are a part of the conversation.
This is why I use a Walkie-Talkie every single day.
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This is why I use a Walkie-Talkie every single day.
lol wtf..are you on primemuscle mode again with the ramblings ;D
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Get yourself a lawyer that is extremely well versed in family law.
"1"
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cholo, you date a lot of lawyers. are you a lawyer too? is that how you get your info?
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lol wtf..are you on primemuscle mode again with the ramblings ;D
ha ha yes I am still laughing. Prime has not had a haircut in 20 years.
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The child deserves to have a relationship with both its mother and its father. People should put aside their feelings for the sake of their child and be as mature as possible and keep things civil. It's really really sad when a parent uses the child as a pawn to get back at the other person. The children's happiest should come first!!!!
X1,000