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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Palpatine Q on January 26, 2014, 11:40:49 PM

Title: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 26, 2014, 11:40:49 PM
I'm walking the dog today w my kid... she's horsing around and playing with the dog, with her phone in her hand.

No sooner than I say   "Tay....be carefu......" BONG. phone hits the street face down, glass is shattered.

Of course I have something to say.."Come on ...you know better than that..be more careful....blah blah."

Fast Forward 20 minutes later... I'm putting new lights on her bike..my phone slips out of my pocket...I step on it accidentally.  Bong...glass is shattered.

"Come on Dad....you need to be more careful...hahaha  :D "


Wiseass.    Pwned  :P

Two broken phones in one day. Loving it .
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: SF1900 on January 26, 2014, 11:47:49 PM
Groink, living the dream. Big muscles, good looks, model citizen, epic father, nice car, and not one, but the owner of TWO cell phones.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: 240 is Back on January 26, 2014, 11:48:00 PM
I'm a clumsy bastard with way too many things in my hands most of the time.  I drop my phone 2-3 times a day.  I use that otter case.  It works well.  

the ipad mini2.... that thing crushes way too easily
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Competitor 9 on January 26, 2014, 11:48:44 PM
You own the cat phone correct?
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 26, 2014, 11:53:05 PM
Groink, living the dream. Big muscles, good looks, model citizen, epic father, nice car, and not one, but the owner of TWO cell phones.

HUGE muscles...I passed "big" decades ago.

And its broken cell phones
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 26, 2014, 11:54:50 PM
You own the cat phone correct?

Haha
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: alabama ftw on January 26, 2014, 11:55:34 PM
That was a boring story. You need to learn that no one cares about your dumb kid. Almost as shitty as Tedims story about his obese wife.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: temple_of_dis on January 26, 2014, 11:59:03 PM
you should not replace the phones

spend the money on gym instead


start trainer her hard
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Sherief Shalaby on January 27, 2014, 12:00:13 AM
I'm walking the dog today w my kid... she's horsing around and playing with the dog, with her phone in her hand.

No sooner than I say   "Tay....be carefu......" BONG. phone hits the street face down, glass is shattered.

Of course I have something to say.."Come on ...you know better than that..be more careful....blah blah."

Fast Forward 20 minutes later... I'm putting new lights on her bike..my phone slips out of my pocket...I step on it accidentally.  Bong...glass is shattered.

"Come on Dad....you need to be more careful...hahaha  :D "


Wiseass.    Pwned  :P

Two broken phones in one day. Loving it .

so may be she inherited the gene of not being careful with the mobile from you??..
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: alabama ftw on January 27, 2014, 12:01:39 AM
so may be she inherited the gene of not being careful with the mobile from you??..
Atleast she is not a muslim.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Roger Bacon on January 27, 2014, 12:02:36 AM
and not one, but the owner of TWO cell phones.

hahaha!  ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: nzmusclemonster on January 27, 2014, 12:03:15 AM
Going to have to repair a lot of tvs to get a new phone.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Roger Bacon on January 27, 2014, 12:03:55 AM
what does "a clinic" mean? ???
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 27, 2014, 12:05:29 AM
Going to have to repair a lot of tvs to get a new phone.

Or bang your mother once. She pays top dollar for the pendulum of love.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 27, 2014, 12:06:38 AM
what does "a clinic" mean? ???

It's the place you go to when that sore on your lip won't go away.

I was using it in a different context
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Roger Bacon on January 27, 2014, 12:07:01 AM
the pendulum of love.


lol
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Kim Jong Bob on January 27, 2014, 12:12:18 AM
I'm walking the dog today w my kid... she's horsing around and playing with the dog, with her phone in her hand.

No sooner than I say   "Tay....be carefu......" BONG. phone hits the street face down, glass is shattered.

Of course I have something to say.."Come on ...you know better than that..be more careful....blah blah."

Fast Forward 20 minutes later... I'm putting new lights on her bike..my phone slips out of my pocket...I step on it accidentally.  Bong...glass is shattered.

"Come on Dad....you need to be more careful...hahaha  :D "


Wiseass.    Pwned  :P

Two broken phones in one day. Loving it .
lol i bet she had a big smile when she said that to
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: SF1900 on January 27, 2014, 12:21:52 AM
HUGE muscles...I passed "big" decades ago.

And its broken cell phones


Broken or not, you still own TWO cell phones.

I only one one.  :'( :'(
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 27, 2014, 12:28:23 AM


Broken or not, you still own TWO cell phones.

I only one one.  :'( :'(

Things will turn around stud. Don't despair
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Parker on January 27, 2014, 12:38:45 AM
Two words: Phone Case.

I had a car run over mine, due to the 3 layer phone case, it was not broken at all. Not a scratch.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: SF1900 on January 27, 2014, 12:40:39 AM
Things will turn around stud. Don't despair

Groink, but do I really need 2?
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Montague on January 27, 2014, 02:20:48 AM
Two words: Phone Case.

I had a car run over mine, due to the 3 layer phone case, it was not broken at all. Not a scratch.


Holy shit!!

What kind of case is that?
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 02:36:12 AM
haha .. shit happens .. you can see your face in the first pic  ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: JBGRAY on January 27, 2014, 02:51:21 AM
Pretty cool you have Booty as your wallpaper.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: macos on January 27, 2014, 02:55:43 AM
haha .. shit happens .. you can see your face in the first pic  ;D
lolo
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 02:56:47 AM
I never used a protection case. I find them useless. I guess if it's meant to break your iphone it'll happen  ;D

I dropped my Samsung so many times, came apart etc..still going strong after 3 years
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: macos on January 27, 2014, 02:59:19 AM
I never used a protection case. I find them useless. I guess if it's meant to break your iphone it'll happen  ;D

I dropped my Samsung so many times, came apart etc..still going strong after 3 years
You believe in spirits too?
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Uncle Junior on January 27, 2014, 03:01:41 AM
G why you cut you hair short?

Thought you said you liked it longer, suits you better, listen to the misus sometimes. : )

Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 03:05:38 AM
You believe in spirits too?
No, I don't drink.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: macos on January 27, 2014, 03:10:36 AM
No, I don't drink.
Supernatural elements
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 03:20:13 AM
Supernatural elements
No.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: alabama ftw on January 27, 2014, 04:18:03 AM
Groink is the gay version of Bob chick.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Mr Nobody on January 27, 2014, 04:24:43 AM
I hate phones.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 27, 2014, 05:28:30 AM
G why you cut you hair short?

Thought you said you liked it longer, suits you better, listen to the misus sometimes. : )



Thats major hat-head right there..hair is crushed flat.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: bigmc on January 27, 2014, 05:37:05 AM
I never got an iphone

for the very reason all my mates that have them have broken the screen

ive dropped my htc one loads of times and its still intact
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: The True Adonis on January 27, 2014, 05:55:55 AM
Groink, that was hilarious.  Things like that happen to me all the time.  You look back on it and you can`t help but not to laugh every time.  Good stuff.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 27, 2014, 06:00:31 AM
Groink, that was hilarious.  Things like that happen to me all the time.  You look back on it and you can`t help but not to laugh every time.  Good stuff.

Yup.

If you can't laugh at stuff like that what's the point of beng here.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: King Shizzo on January 27, 2014, 06:14:47 AM
haha .. shit happens .. you can see your face in the first pic  ;D
His face is what really cracked the glass  ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Parker on January 27, 2014, 06:16:40 AM

Holy shit!!

What kind of case is that?
Something I picked up at Five Below.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 06:18:33 AM
His face is what really cracked the glass  ;D
you are like the dribble of piss that no matter how hard or much you flick it, you can't shake off.. and always stains the undies
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: King Shizzo on January 27, 2014, 06:20:34 AM
you are like the dribble of piss that no matter how hard or much you flick it, you can't shake off.. and always stains the undies
Like this?

Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 06:25:33 AM
No, that's getting dressed with a still wet swimsuit on ..


more like this (you are on the tip)

(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0jfj6uuN71r7gm7no1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: King Shizzo on January 27, 2014, 06:26:50 AM
 :D

Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 06:30:35 AM
Why are you being like this bro? The other day I stuck up for you when a couple of guys said they saw you walking down the street eating a cum and peanutbutter sandwich. I told them "no way!" ..you are allergic to peanuts.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: njflex on January 27, 2014, 06:30:42 AM
:D


wholly hairy bastard with a skullet...
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 06:32:51 AM
I have less hair, not as fat, better shape, and I hate guns.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 27, 2014, 06:34:05 AM
His face is what really cracked the glass  ;D

Note the advanced nose shape. Perfectly straight bridge, as always pleasing skin tone.. and angular nostril arrangement.  No round simian potato nose here.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Mr Nobody on January 27, 2014, 06:36:54 AM
Groink is throwing out some quality posts lately he must of stumbled across some new technology.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: CalvinH on January 27, 2014, 06:37:40 AM
I'm walking the dog today w my kid... she's horsing around and playing with the dog, with her phone in her hand.

No sooner than I say   "Tay....be carefu......" BONG. phone hits the street face down, glass is shattered.

Of course I have something to say.."Come on ...you know better than that..be more careful....blah blah."

Fast Forward 20 minutes later... I'm putting new lights on her bike..my phone slips out of my pocket...I step on it accidentally.  Bong...glass is shattered.

"Come on Dad....you need to be more careful...hahaha  :D "


Wiseass.    Pwned  :P

Two broken phones in one day. Loving it .



1.You need to re-polish you nails
2.You're finally starting to lose your hair
 ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 27, 2014, 06:40:56 AM


1.You need to re-polish you nails
2.You're finally starting to lose your hair
 ;D

Bald people..hoping against hope we all go bald  :D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Mr Nobody on January 27, 2014, 06:42:20 AM
Bald people..hoping against hope we all go bald  :D
Clavin refuses to wear a rug.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 07:16:55 AM
 Last night I fell into a trance like state during my nightly meditation. As my mind drifted in the waveless ocean of infinite consciousness we call the "other side",I soon transcended the stellar universe and entered the subtler region of ideas. As it ascended higher and higher I found on both sides of the way ideal forms of gods and goddesses. The mind then reached the outer limits of that region, where a luminous barrier separated the sphere of relative existence from that of the Absolute. Crossing that barrier, the mind entered the transcendental realm where no corporeal being was visible. Even the gods dared not peep into that sublime realm, but had to be content to keep their seats far below. The next moment I found seven venerable sages seated there in deep meditation. I saw myself as a divine child drifting closer to one of these sages and as I came close to him I tenderly clasped his neck with my ethereal arms. He half opened his superconscious gaze and I asked him .. "who are you?" ..  he answered .. "J". I thought to myself "Dr J?" and heard a melodic voice inside my mind with a hint of amusement .. "Jesus".
  "Oh, I see"... He asked me what do I want to know and I answered that I was always fascinated about finding out what the future holds for us. What followed I am about to reveal for the first time here, on getbig, which I consider a beacon of hope for humanity in general and your central source for absolute truth on hormones and penile related topics.

"My dear child, he said (Jesus), engrave this answer of mine upon the tablets of your memory and maybe we can set the ruder of your fate on a different course (humanity's as well implicitly).. There is much turmoil and suffering right now on Earth. Unbeknownst to the many, the planet is manipulated by shapeshifting lizards who genetically manipulate and control good genes into extinction. If this goes on, soon the planet will be populated by what I like to call "gimmicks" who will degenerate the general consciousness level of the population until everyone becomes a shizzo. I sayd "Jesus, what??" .. he calmly replied that the human race is heading straight for perdition due to the ever increasing numbers of genetic abominations that the sages called "shizzos" which are basically ugly, bald, fat, unnemployed and annoying human beings that can run on any type of alcohol. I pictured a planet like this and thought to myself "Oh no! I cannot let this happen!!". Jesus looked at me with those deep blue eyes, impersonal as they contained EVERYTHING, of a blue so deep it was almost dark, like the Universe itself. "My Lord" I mentally blurted out with conviction .."There must be hope..what can we do as a race to save ourselves? I know there is good genetics down there and we can save those!". Indeed there are, he answered. There was a time on Earth, eons ago, when there lived a race of beings similar to our present day man but on a much higher plane of spiritual developement. The called themselves the Sons of God and rightfully so. You know them from legends as Atlanteans. When that civilisation dissapeared, there were a few noble souls who took the great sacrifice of marrying Daughters of Men starting thus genetic lineages that make possible even today the manifestation of a perfect physical and genetic specimen with those much superior intellectual traits. You are one example and there is another one in a far land they cal "Merica". He is easy to spot due to incredible natural musculature, perfectly symetrical chiseled facial features and the huge veiny penis. The people call him Groink. In order to avoid the Earth to become full of these shizzo creatures, you and this fella need to donate sperm and impregnate as many perfect female specimens as possible". I listened bewildered and could not believe my mental ears that Jesus just said "penis". He told me "Now you must go back down there and use the people's voice, getbig, to spread the gospel." I was like "Ok Jesus" and he went back to meditating while I descended dizzied until I opened my eyes again in my room.
  I wanted to open a beer to come back to normal but then thought of shizzo and threw it in the garbage. Had some water instead.

  I know many will not believe me, but seriously, who would make this shit up?

Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 27, 2014, 07:20:38 AM
Last night I fell into a trance like state during my nightly meditation. As my mind drifted in the waveless ocean of infinite consciousness we call the "other side",I soon transcended the stellar universe and entered the subtler region of ideas. As it ascended higher and higher I found on both sides of the way ideal forms of gods and goddesses. The mind then reached the outer limits of that region, where a luminous barrier separated the sphere of relative existence from that of the Absolute. Crossing that barrier, the mind entered the transcendental realm where no corporeal being was visible. Even the gods dared not peep into that sublime realm, but had to be content to keep their seats far below. The next moment I found seven venerable sages seated there in deep meditation. I saw myself as a divine child drifting closer to one of these sages and as I came close to him I tenderly clasped his neck with my ethereal arms. He half opened his superconscious gaze and I asked him .. "who are you?" ..  he answered .. "J". I thought to myself "Dr J?" and heard a melodic voice inside my mind with a hint of amusement .. "Jesus".
  "Oh, I see"... He asked me what do I want to know and I answered that I was always fascinated about finding out what the future holds for us. What followed I am about to reveal for the first time here, on getbig, which I consider a beacon of hope for humanity in general and your central source for absolute truth on hormones and penile related topics.

"My dear child, he said (Jesus), engrave this answer of mine upon the tablets of your memory and maybe we can set the ruder of your fate on a different course (humanity's as well implicitly).. There is much turmoil and suffering right now on Earth. Unbeknownst to the many, the planet is manipulated by shapeshifting lizards who genetically manipulate and control good genes into extinction. If this goes on, soon the planet will be populated by what I like to call "gimmicks" who will degenerate the general consciousness level of the population until everyone becomes a shizzo. I sayd "Jesus, what??" .. he calmly replied that the human race is heading straight for perdition due to the ever increasing numbers of genetic abominations that the sages called "shizzos" which are basically ugly, bald, fat, unnemployed and annoying human beings that can run on any type of alcohol. I pictured a planet like this and thought to myself "Oh no! I cannot let this happen!!". Jesus looked at me with those deep blue eyes, impersonal as they contained EVERYTHING, of a blue so deep it was almost dark, like the Universe itself. "My Lord" I mentally blurted out with conviction .."There must be hope..what can we do as a race to save ourselves? I know there is good genetics down there and we can save those!". Indeed there are, he answered. There was a time on Earth, eons ago, when there lived a race of beings similar to our present day man but on a much higher plane of spiritual developement. The called themselves the Sons of God and rightfully so. You know them from legends as Atlanteans. When that civilisation dissapeared, there were a few noble souls who took the great sacrifice of marrying Daughters of Men starting thus genetic lineages that make possible even today the manifestation of a perfect physical and genetic specimen with those much superior intellectual traits. You are one example and there is another one in a far land they cal "Merica". He is easy to spot due to incredible natural musculature, perfectly symetrical chiseled facial features and the huge veiny penis. The people call him Groink. In order to avoid the Earth to become full of these shizzo creatures, you and this fella need to donate sperm and impregnate as many perfect female specimens as possible". I listened bewildered and could not believe my mental ears that Jesus just said "penis". He told me "Now you must go back down there and use the people's voice, getbig, to spread the gospel." I was like "Ok Jesus" and he went back to meditating while I descended dizzied until I opened my eyes again in my room.
  I wanted to open a beer to come back to normal but then thought of shizzo and threw it in the garbage. Had some water instead.

  I know many will not believe me, but seriously, who would make this shit up?



HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA. ..WTF ... :D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Grape Ape on January 27, 2014, 07:22:48 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA. ..WTF ... :D

I think Sev's low carb again.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Tito24 on January 27, 2014, 07:23:03 AM
these smart phones are horrible, way too fragile and terrible battery life.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: CalvinH on January 27, 2014, 07:23:18 AM
Bald people..hoping against hope we all go bald  :D


 ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 08:20:16 AM
That's why he pointed out you Groink... it was necessary for great hair genes in the future .. I have residual baldness from my ancestors.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: BigCyp on January 27, 2014, 08:24:53 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA. ..WTF ... :D

Ahahahahahahahahaha yes it was beautiful.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: King Shizzo on January 27, 2014, 08:36:35 AM
Last night I fell into a trance like state during my nightly meditation. As my mind drifted in the waveless ocean of infinite consciousness we call the "other side",I soon transcended the stellar universe and entered the subtler region of ideas. As it ascended higher and higher I found on both sides of the way ideal forms of gods and goddesses. The mind then reached the outer limits of that region, where a luminous barrier separated the sphere of relative existence from that of the Absolute. Crossing that barrier, the mind entered the transcendental realm where no corporeal being was visible. Even the gods dared not peep into that sublime realm, but had to be content to keep their seats far below. The next moment I found seven venerable sages seated there in deep meditation. I saw myself as a divine child drifting closer to one of these sages and as I came close to him I tenderly clasped his neck with my ethereal arms. He half opened his superconscious gaze and I asked him .. "who are you?" ..  he answered .. "J". I thought to myself "Dr J?" and heard a melodic voice inside my mind with a hint of amusement .. "Jesus".
  "Oh, I see"... He asked me what do I want to know and I answered that I was always fascinated about finding out what the future holds for us. What followed I am about to reveal for the first time here, on getbig, which I consider a beacon of hope for humanity in general and your central source for absolute truth on hormones and penile related topics.

"My dear child, he said (Jesus), engrave this answer of mine upon the tablets of your memory and maybe we can set the ruder of your fate on a different course (humanity's as well implicitly).. There is much turmoil and suffering right now on Earth. Unbeknownst to the many, the planet is manipulated by shapeshifting lizards who genetically manipulate and control good genes into extinction. If this goes on, soon the planet will be populated by what I like to call "gimmicks" who will degenerate the general consciousness level of the population until everyone becomes a shizzo. I sayd "Jesus, what??" .. he calmly replied that the human race is heading straight for perdition due to the ever increasing numbers of genetic abominations that the sages called "shizzos" which are basically ugly, bald, fat, unnemployed and annoying human beings that can run on any type of alcohol. I pictured a planet like this and thought to myself "Oh no! I cannot let this happen!!". Jesus looked at me with those deep blue eyes, impersonal as they contained EVERYTHING, of a blue so deep it was almost dark, like the Universe itself. "My Lord" I mentally blurted out with conviction .."There must be hope..what can we do as a race to save ourselves? I know there is good genetics down there and we can save those!". Indeed there are, he answered. There was a time on Earth, eons ago, when there lived a race of beings similar to our present day man but on a much higher plane of spiritual developement. The called themselves the Sons of God and rightfully so. You know them from legends as Atlanteans. When that civilisation dissapeared, there were a few noble souls who took the great sacrifice of marrying Daughters of Men starting thus genetic lineages that make possible even today the manifestation of a perfect physical and genetic specimen with those much superior intellectual traits. You are one example and there is another one in a far land they cal "Merica". He is easy to spot due to incredible natural musculature, perfectly symetrical chiseled facial features and the huge veiny penis. The people call him Groink. In order to avoid the Earth to become full of these shizzo creatures, you and this fella need to donate sperm and impregnate as many perfect female specimens as possible". I listened bewildered and could not believe my mental ears that Jesus just said "penis". He told me "Now you must go back down there and use the people's voice, getbig, to spread the gospel." I was like "Ok Jesus" and he went back to meditating while I descended dizzied until I opened my eyes again in my room.
  I wanted to open a beer to come back to normal but then thought of shizzo and threw it in the garbage. Had some water instead.

  I know many will not believe me, but seriously, who would make this shit up?


Bravo.  ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 12:05:07 PM
What would Jesus do about shizzo and ukjeff?
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: njflex on January 27, 2014, 12:45:38 PM
What would Jesus do about shizzo and ukjeff?
PROBABLY END THE WORLD... DUE TO NOT WANTING TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH EITHER OF THEM.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 27, 2014, 12:48:38 PM
PROBABLY END THE WORLD... DUE TO NOT WANTING TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH EITHER OF THEM.
in my meditation, whenever he would telepathically say "shizzo" I could sense him throwing up in the back of his mind a bit
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: njflex on January 27, 2014, 01:00:57 PM
HERE'S A SAMPLE JESUS /UK CONVERSATION

JESUS,'UK I MADE ALL OF YOU CHILDREN IN MY LIKENESS AS 'MAN'
UK,NO YOU DIDN'T YOU HAVE LONG HAIR AND BEARD AND ROBED,I HAVE SHORT HAIR AND RIPPED GLUTES
JESUS OH BOY.

JESUS'BUT UK I SUFFERED AND DIED FOR SINS OF THE WORLD AND RESURRECTED FOR THE FUTURE OF MANKIND

UK'JESUS IN ALL DUE RESPECT I WAS RESURRECTED 3 TIMES AT GET BIG .COM THATS 2X'S MORE THAN YOU.

JESUS'UK YOU GOT ME THERE ,BTW TELL BIGMC I SAID HI AND THAT TROLLING YOU IS NOT WISE.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: King Shizzo on January 27, 2014, 01:06:16 PM
in my meditation, whenever he would telepathically say "shizzo" I could sense him throwing up in the back of his mind a bit
You sure spend akot of time "meditating" about me. I wonder if you end with a wet spot on your crotch? You dont always wear a wet bathing suit under shorts do you?
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Mr Nobody on January 27, 2014, 01:12:59 PM
You sure spend akot of time "meditating" about me. I wonder if you end with a wet spot on your crotch? You dont always wear a wet bathing suit under shorts do you?
I miss booty did you run her off the board?
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: King Shizzo on January 27, 2014, 01:18:42 PM
I miss booty did you run her off the board?
I didnt do anything to her.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: wes on January 27, 2014, 02:36:32 PM
Last night I fell into a trance like state during my nightly meditation. As my mind drifted in the waveless ocean of infinite consciousness we call the "other side",I soon transcended the stellar universe and entered the subtler region of ideas. As it ascended higher and higher I found on both sides of the way ideal forms of gods and goddesses. The mind then reached the outer limits of that region, where a luminous barrier separated the sphere of relative existence from that of the Absolute. Crossing that barrier, the mind entered the transcendental realm where no corporeal being was visible. Even the gods dared not peep into that sublime realm, but had to be content to keep their seats far below. The next moment I found seven venerable sages seated there in deep meditation. I saw myself as a divine child drifting closer to one of these sages and as I came close to him I tenderly clasped his neck with my ethereal arms. He half opened his superconscious gaze and I asked him .. "who are you?" ..  he answered .. "J". I thought to myself "Dr J?" and heard a melodic voice inside my mind with a hint of amusement .. "Jesus".
  "Oh, I see"... He asked me what do I want to know and I answered that I was always fascinated about finding out what the future holds for us. What followed I am about to reveal for the first time here, on getbig, which I consider a beacon of hope for humanity in general and your central source for absolute truth on hormones and penile related topics.

"My dear child, he said (Jesus), engrave this answer of mine upon the tablets of your memory and maybe we can set the ruder of your fate on a different course (humanity's as well implicitly).. There is much turmoil and suffering right now on Earth. Unbeknownst to the many, the planet is manipulated by shapeshifting lizards who genetically manipulate and control good genes into extinction. If this goes on, soon the planet will be populated by what I like to call "gimmicks" who will degenerate the general consciousness level of the population until everyone becomes a shizzo. I sayd "Jesus, what??" .. he calmly replied that the human race is heading straight for perdition due to the ever increasing numbers of genetic abominations that the sages called "shizzos" which are basically ugly, bald, fat, unnemployed and annoying human beings that can run on any type of alcohol. I pictured a planet like this and thought to myself "Oh no! I cannot let this happen!!". Jesus looked at me with those deep blue eyes, impersonal as they contained EVERYTHING, of a blue so deep it was almost dark, like the Universe itself. "My Lord" I mentally blurted out with conviction .."There must be hope..what can we do as a race to save ourselves? I know there is good genetics down there and we can save those!". Indeed there are, he answered. There was a time on Earth, eons ago, when there lived a race of beings similar to our present day man but on a much higher plane of spiritual developement. The called themselves the Sons of God and rightfully so. You know them from legends as Atlanteans. When that civilisation dissapeared, there were a few noble souls who took the great sacrifice of marrying Daughters of Men starting thus genetic lineages that make possible even today the manifestation of a perfect physical and genetic specimen with those much superior intellectual traits. You are one example and there is another one in a far land they cal "Merica". He is easy to spot due to incredible natural musculature, perfectly symetrical chiseled facial features and the huge veiny penis. The people call him Groink. In order to avoid the Earth to become full of these shizzo creatures, you and this fella need to donate sperm and impregnate as many perfect female specimens as possible". I listened bewildered and could not believe my mental ears that Jesus just said "penis". He told me "Now you must go back down there and use the people's voice, getbig, to spread the gospel." I was like "Ok Jesus" and he went back to meditating while I descended dizzied until I opened my eyes again in my room.
  I wanted to open a beer to come back to normal but then thought of shizzo and threw it in the garbage. Had some water instead.

  I know many will not believe me, but seriously, who would make this shit up?


Quality stuff! :D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Shockwave on January 27, 2014, 02:42:32 PM
At first I thought tbombz was your kid.  :-\
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Roger Bacon on January 27, 2014, 04:44:40 PM
You assholes didn't give booty the respect she deserves and now she's gone for good.  :'(
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: flinstones1 on January 27, 2014, 04:53:01 PM
Groink, living the dream. Big muscles, good looks, model citizen, epic father, nice car, and not one, but the owner of TWO cell phones.


lol ;D

in all seriousness I believe everything groink says. From the van damme story to the dating actresses, to him being best buddies with that Italian pro. most guys would kill to  experience 1/2 of what he has

Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Wolfox on January 27, 2014, 05:15:17 PM
You assholes didn't give booty the respect she deserves and now she's gone for good.  :'(

Mission accomplished.  8)
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: IronMeister on January 28, 2014, 12:00:13 AM
Last night I fell into a trance like state during my nightly meditation. As my mind drifted in the waveless ocean of infinite consciousness we call the "other side",I soon transcended the stellar universe and entered the subtler region of ideas. As it ascended higher and higher I found on both sides of the way ideal forms of gods and goddesses. The mind then reached the outer limits of that region, where a luminous barrier separated the sphere of relative existence from that of the Absolute. Crossing that barrier, the mind entered the transcendental realm where no corporeal being was visible. Even the gods dared not peep into that sublime realm, but had to be content to keep their seats far below. The next moment I found seven venerable sages seated there in deep meditation. I saw myself as a divine child drifting closer to one of these sages and as I came close to him I tenderly clasped his neck with my ethereal arms. He half opened his superconscious gaze and I asked him .. "who are you?" ..  he answered .. "J". I thought to myself "Dr J?" and heard a melodic voice inside my mind with a hint of amusement .. "Jesus".
  "Oh, I see"... He asked me what do I want to know and I answered that I was always fascinated about finding out what the future holds for us. What followed I am about to reveal for the first time here, on getbig, which I consider a beacon of hope for humanity in general and your central source for absolute truth on hormones and penile related topics.

"My dear child, he said (Jesus), engrave this answer of mine upon the tablets of your memory and maybe we can set the ruder of your fate on a different course (humanity's as well implicitly).. There is much turmoil and suffering right now on Earth. Unbeknownst to the many, the planet is manipulated by shapeshifting lizards who genetically manipulate and control good genes into extinction. If this goes on, soon the planet will be populated by what I like to call "gimmicks" who will degenerate the general consciousness level of the population until everyone becomes a shizzo. I sayd "Jesus, what??" .. he calmly replied that the human race is heading straight for perdition due to the ever increasing numbers of genetic abominations that the sages called "shizzos" which are basically ugly, bald, fat, unnemployed and annoying human beings that can run on any type of alcohol. I pictured a planet like this and thought to myself "Oh no! I cannot let this happen!!". Jesus looked at me with those deep blue eyes, impersonal as they contained EVERYTHING, of a blue so deep it was almost dark, like the Universe itself. "My Lord" I mentally blurted out with conviction .."There must be hope..what can we do as a race to save ourselves? I know there is good genetics down there and we can save those!". Indeed there are, he answered. There was a time on Earth, eons ago, when there lived a race of beings similar to our present day man but on a much higher plane of spiritual developement. The called themselves the Sons of God and rightfully so. You know them from legends as Atlanteans. When that civilisation dissapeared, there were a few noble souls who took the great sacrifice of marrying Daughters of Men starting thus genetic lineages that make possible even today the manifestation of a perfect physical and genetic specimen with those much superior intellectual traits. You are one example and there is another one in a far land they cal "Merica". He is easy to spot due to incredible natural musculature, perfectly symetrical chiseled facial features and the huge veiny penis. The people call him Groink. In order to avoid the Earth to become full of these shizzo creatures, you and this fella need to donate sperm and impregnate as many perfect female specimens as possible". I listened bewildered and could not believe my mental ears that Jesus just said "penis". He told me "Now you must go back down there and use the people's voice, getbig, to spread the gospel." I was like "Ok Jesus" and he went back to meditating while I descended dizzied until I opened my eyes again in my room.


  I wanted to open a beer to come back to normal but then thought of shizzo and threw it in the garbage. Had some water instead.

  I know many will not believe me, but seriously, who would make this shit up?



(http://i42.tinypic.com/2mfis86.jpg)
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 28, 2014, 02:09:31 AM
 :D

Good job Ironmeister although you could have put my face on a less anorexic body  ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 28, 2014, 02:27:55 AM
I love your blond hair Sev....hahahaha  :D  ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 28, 2014, 02:28:39 AM
I love your blond hair Sev....hahahaha  :D  ;D
hahaha ye .. quite a brutal pic  ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: King Shizzo on January 28, 2014, 02:49:00 AM
hahaha ye .. quite a brutal pic  ;D
Sev looks like Vissy in that pic.
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: Cleanest Natural on January 28, 2014, 02:50:39 AM
Sev looks like Vissy in that pic.
I thought the same actually haha

Ironmeister please find a manlier body  ;D
Title: Re: self ownage....a clinic.
Post by: LiftEaTsLeEpRePeAt on January 28, 2014, 08:36:26 AM
Groink, living the dream. Big muscles, good looks, model citizen, epic father, nice car, and not one, but the owner of TWO cell phones.
kmfao