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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: GRACIE JIU-JITSU on May 05, 2014, 03:18:21 PM
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Florida Won't Let This Guy Marry His Laptop Full of Porn
If there's one thing Mark "Chris" Sevier loves, it's jerking off. If there's another, it's filing lawsuits. The man who sued Apple because it sold him a computer that allowed him to get addicted to porn is now getting involved in Florida's gay marriage debate by demanding he be allowed to marry that same porn-infested computer.
Florida is considering the very serious question of whether it will recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states, and Sevier has filed a motion claiming to represent other minority sexual orientation groups. If gay people "have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts," he argues, "then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object."
Because the gay marriage debate is all about objects and parts, not relationships, families, and the legal benefits that accrue to married couples. Obviously.
Unfortunately, Sevier's 24-page filing continues with a description of his personal relationship with his sweetheart—I mean, preferred sexual object:
Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I 'fell in love' with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.
Sevier, an attorney and music producer, has a history of strange legal entanglements, including stalking country singer John Rich and suing A&E for firing one of Duck Dynasty's beardos over homophobic remarks in an interview.
He was suspended from practicing law in Tennessee in 2011 due to "mental infirmity or illness."
Sevier's attempt to marry his MacBook have been squashed for now in Florida.
"Chris Sevier has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer," Judge Robert Hinkle wrote on April 24. "Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit."
But Sevier isn't done yet. If Florida won't let him get hitched to a computer, maybe another state will. He's currently attempting to intervene in Utah's battle over a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.
"Those of us whose sexual orientation has been classically conditioned upon orgasm through the straight forward science of dopamine to prefer sex with inanimate objects and animals do not have public support, like the gays, so we are especially vulnerable here," he wrote in a 50 page brief.
http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2014/05/chris-sevier-wants-to-marry-porn-filled-computer-in-florida/
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15 minutes of fame,then to the looney bin he goes.
::)
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Is there a logical flaw in his argument?
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that's unlike florida ???
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Fuck Florida weird ass loonies and that guy 240 lives there. Enough said
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Fuck Florida weird ass loonies and that guy 240 lives there. Enough said
So do I :D
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Florida is weird
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Is there a logical flaw in his argument?
A Laptop can't give consent maybe?
That's the problem with these idiots trying to marry cats and trees and bullshit.
If they are not of age or can not give consent based upon mental faculties then you can't get married to them.
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Ban Florida.
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A Laptop can't give consent maybe?
That's the problem with these idiots trying to marry cats and trees and bullshit.
If they are not of age or can not give consent based upon mental faculties then you can't get married to them.
Actually it can, what if you talk to your computer through voice activation and ask it to find a porn website then you jerk off it means your computer gave consent.
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(http://oi59.tinypic.com/14cu2xu.jpg)
(http://oi58.tinypic.com/21rj13.jpg)
(http://37.media.tumblr.com/66a86209e1792fabc62190c5b3658c7f/tumblr_n1ljnlgb0v1ru72puo2_r1_400.gif)
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Actually it can, what if you talk to your computer through voice activation and ask it to find a porn website then you jerk off it means your computer gave consent.
It does not think or have cognitive reasoning, therefore, it can not consent.
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When he needs an upgrade, will he need to get a divorce? Or is he "marrying" the concept of a computer, rather than a specific one?
He would be better off marrying the Internet. His wacky scheme isn't wacky enough.
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When he needs an upgrade, will he need to get a divorce? Or is he "marrying" the concept of a computer, rather than a specific one?
He would be better off marrying the Internet. His wacky scheme isn't wacky enough.
He's marrying the content that the computer has...
In a sense, he is marrying computer based on the character that he himself has created by downloading various images of women (I guess). Therefore creating in his mind the perfect "entity" that is based on various other women.
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(http://oi59.tinypic.com/14cu2xu.jpg)
(http://oi58.tinypic.com/21rj13.jpg)
(http://37.media.tumblr.com/66a86209e1792fabc62190c5b3658c7f/tumblr_n1ljnlgb0v1ru72puo2_r1_400.gif)
ahahahahahahaha im dying holy shit his face is the best:D
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Fuck Florida weird ass loonies and that guy 240 lives there. Enough said
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But really, what if the computer isn't at least 18 years old? Can it really give consent to this union?
Where are the computer's parents in all this? I think somewhere, buried under megabytes of RAM, are serious hard driving daddy issues.
Her operating system needs a total cleanse.
And isn't the guy worried about catching a virus? Seems the lady has been well versed in the physicalities of love. Odds that she's picked up a bug or two during her travels? I'd say pretty good, old chap....pretty good.
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(http://oi59.tinypic.com/14cu2xu.jpg)
(http://oi58.tinypic.com/21rj13.jpg)
(http://37.media.tumblr.com/66a86209e1792fabc62190c5b3658c7f/tumblr_n1ljnlgb0v1ru72puo2_r1_400.gif)
LOL!
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;D
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Its better to marry your ipad at least you can have sex with it.
(http://itnijs.nl/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/FleshLiPadHolder.png)
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Why not? Anyone whose against this guy marrying his laptop needs to back off and worry about themselves.
As long as he truly loves it he should have the same right we all do.
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Rob I think we're getting to the point where Florida should lose its statehood.
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Rob I think we're getting to the point where Florida should lose its statehood.
you may be right. I'm gonna need to relocate. Looking for a place with warm weather, decent music scene, and indoor plumbing. Any recommendations?
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It does not think or have cognitive reasoning, therefore, it can not consent.
So you can't marry a person in a coma? Or a gravely retarded person?
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Marrying your computer is not good, it's likely to breakdown because of porn viruses
He should marry a site, like Tube Galore
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Marrying your computer is not good, it's likely to breakdown because of porn viruses
He should marry a site, like Tube Galore
Your comment against marrying a righteous and good computer in favor of a harlot website is just clear evidence that the fabric of familial unity is at its breaking point in America.
Won't someone think of the children?
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you may be right. I'm gonna need to relocate. Looking for a place with warm weather, decent music scene, and indoor plumbing. Any recommendations?
Texas, or Arizona. ;D
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there is nothing wrong with Florida......yes, some crazy shit do take place, but it's a beautiful place.....Lived in Orlando for 6 years and Graduated High school there and I'm always looking forward to go visit or just chill out. Tampa is my favorite place among many other areas there.....if, only IT jobs would pay decent, I'd move back....lol,,,,oh, state tax
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America, land of the free, pffft... ::) ::) ::) ::)
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Your comment against marrying a righteous and good computer in favor of a harlot website is just clear evidence that the fabric of familial unity is at its breaking point in America.
Won't someone think of the children?
I'm from depraved sweden where all girls are whores
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I'm from depraved sweden where all girls are whores
I've just booked my one-way ticket to Sweden.
You should be writing their travel brochures.
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Won't someone think of the children?
its all digital reproduction so none of the data code will be lost
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its all digital reproduction so none of the data code will be lost
When a computer gives birth, is it a tablet?
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When a computer gives birth, is it a tablet?
only if the offspring is stupid. If it is intelligent, it's a smartphone.