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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:30:33 PM

Title: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:30:33 PM
Would it turn out like a chicken?

Take a human leg for example..... If It were cooked to perfection, would taking a bite out of the calf area equal meat, like biting into a chicken drumstick?

Does muscle turn to meat when cooked?
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: _aj_ on December 17, 2014, 04:32:55 PM
And this is the jabroni that's "worried about racism on Getbig"  :-\
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:34:08 PM
And this is the jabroni that's "worried about racism on Getbig"  :-\
I never specified a particular race.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Knooger on December 17, 2014, 04:34:38 PM
Hopefully Shitsoul will burn to death in a car crash.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:35:40 PM
Hopefully Shitsoul will burn to death in a car crash.
Yes, but the question is how much of my body would be edible?
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: gracie bjj on December 17, 2014, 04:35:59 PM
im reading alot of serial killer books lately and yes the thought has crossed my mind of making some nice cutlets out of a nice ripped 28 inch thigh and hamstring,the calf can be barbecued to perfection with some barbecue sause and seasonings(mrs dash).i heard it tastes like chicken breast,yummy
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: TestDummy on December 17, 2014, 04:36:41 PM
I would assume it would taste like pork.  I saw an amputated leg once and it seriously looked like ham lol
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Knooger on December 17, 2014, 04:36:50 PM
Yes, but the question is how much of my body would be edible?

I can't imagine your flesh is fit to be eaten by anything other than maggots.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: TestDummy on December 17, 2014, 04:37:57 PM
im reading alot of serial killer books lately and yes the thought has crossed my mind of making some nice cutlets out of a nice ripped 28 inch thigh and hamstring,the calf can be barbecued to perfection with some barbecue sause and seasonings(mrs dash).i heard it tastes like chicken breast,yummy

Or just hack off an ass cheek and put it in the crock pot  :D
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: gracie bjj on December 17, 2014, 04:38:07 PM
Yes, but the question is how much of my body would be edible?

prolly the main parts like your back,thighs,hammies,calves,triceps,ass,and we can make a nice shishkabob out of your johnson
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:38:37 PM
I can't imagine your flesh is fit to be eaten by anything other than maggots.
Im sure the meat would have a hint of Jack Daniels flavor seared in.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:39:39 PM
prolly the main parts like your back,thighs,hammies,calves,triceps,ass,and we can make a nice shishkabob out of your johnson
Imagine the ass steak of a latin woman  :o
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Nails on December 17, 2014, 04:40:18 PM
saw a documentary on HBO about cannibals they said it tasted like PORK
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Europe on December 17, 2014, 04:40:58 PM
From most Gore forums who got their source from surviving reports/interviews/2nd stories, I've read that the the Human Body taste like Pork...

but very delicious sweet organic Pork!
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Knooger on December 17, 2014, 04:43:13 PM
Im sure the meat would have a hint of Jack Daniels flavor seared in.

Pre-embalmed, lessening the workload of the mortician. Nice.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:43:54 PM
From most Gore forums who got their source from surviving reports/interviews/2nd stories, I've read that the the Human Body taste like Pork...

but very delicious sweet organic Pork!
Screenshot for the FBI.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on December 17, 2014, 04:45:49 PM
hahaha, no.  We are red meat creatures.  Cooks more like beef.  Smell comparable to pork but it is a unique scent given off.  Depends if you boil, sautee or grill.  Slow roasting like KC BBQ is interesting, prefer the femur to be taken out to allow for easier slicing.  Kidneys are fantastic Sous Vide.  A little char once they reach temp is all that's needed.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:46:42 PM
Pre-embalmed, lessening the workload of the mortician. Nice.
I would have pickled Knooger fingers as a snack.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: dr.chimps on December 17, 2014, 04:48:05 PM
Long pig. We did this this years ago. Bring us something original, jester.  
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: gracie bjj on December 17, 2014, 04:48:35 PM
hahaha, no.  We are red meat creatures.  Cooks more like beef.  Smell comparable to pork but it is a unique scent given off.  Depends if you boil, sautee or grill.  Slow roasting like KC BBQ is interesting, prefer the femur to be taken out to allow for easier slicing.  Kidneys are fantastic Sous Vide.  A little char once they reach temp is all that's needed.

u sound like u go some experiance cooking humans ;D
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:49:33 PM
Would Phil Heath be wide enough for a Christmas dinner?
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Knooger on December 17, 2014, 04:50:22 PM
I would have pickled Knooger fingers as a snack.

You'd cram them up your ass, you sick fuck!
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Europe on December 17, 2014, 04:51:09 PM
Screenshot for the FBI.
uh oh.. please shizzo.. no..

here's some eyecandy for your troubles:
(http://s22.postimg.org/iph0vccap/latinas_lounging_500x464.jpg)

(http://s4.postimg.org/8o2io649p/ass_tounding1.jpg)
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: gracie bjj on December 17, 2014, 04:54:36 PM
uh oh.. please shizzo.. no..

here's some eyecandy for your troubles:
(http://s22.postimg.org/iph0vccap/latinas_lounging_500x464.jpg)

(http://s4.postimg.org/8o2io649p/ass_tounding1.jpg)

man those r typicall brazilian bitches from my old neighborhood in jersy,trust me man once u fuck those hot brasilian broads it becomes an addiction thats hard to kick
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 04:55:34 PM
uh oh.. please shizzo.. no..

here's some eyecandy for your troubles:
(http://s22.postimg.org/iph0vccap/latinas_lounging_500x464.jpg)

(http://s4.postimg.org/8o2io649p/ass_tounding1.jpg)
I would eat it raw. No basting, no pulling out of the oven.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: SF1900 on December 17, 2014, 04:59:51 PM
And this is the jabroni that's "worried about racism on Getbig"  :-\

So, racism is bad, but cooking a human body is a-okay.  :-\ :-\ :D :D
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: gracie bjj on December 17, 2014, 05:04:52 PM
So, racism is bad, but cooking a human body is a-okay.  :-\ :-\ :D :D

as long as u cook people in your own race it wont be considered racism :D
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Belieber on December 17, 2014, 05:05:36 PM
Fantastic thread. 10 pages easy.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 05:07:19 PM
as long as u cook people in your own race it wont be considered racism :D
Does dark meat translate to humans as well?
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: SF1900 on December 17, 2014, 05:08:39 PM
as long as u cook people in your own race it wont be considered racism :D

good point.  :D
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 05:10:13 PM
A nice Chianti is also a must.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: gracie bjj on December 17, 2014, 05:13:02 PM
A nice Chianti is also a must.

with some fiber beans
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 17, 2014, 05:13:51 PM
with some fiber beans
Its fava beans  ;D
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: gym**rat on December 17, 2014, 05:14:51 PM
I would eat it raw. No basting, no pulling out of the oven.

 :D
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: ProudVirgin69 on December 17, 2014, 05:25:25 PM
We feed our livestock a vegetarian diet for a reason.  Humans would probably taste quite gamey, considering the amount of meat we eat.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Mr Anabolic on December 17, 2014, 05:49:05 PM
Sedentary fatties would eat and slice like a filet.  People who exercise (especially BBers) would be tough, like a bottom round or flank steak.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: THE ARS on December 17, 2014, 05:49:22 PM
You'll want a vegetarian.

I'm told carnivorous animals taste like shit.

Good luck, unless you're posting from the Andes in which case this dude will be along shortly.

(http://www.saintbernardkeg.com/nero3.jpg)


EDIT: Treed.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Powerlift66 on December 17, 2014, 05:52:21 PM
Shizzo, you back on the booze? Weird thread... If you are more weird off the booze, get back on it pronto...
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Tapeworm on December 17, 2014, 06:10:23 PM
Because eating human flesh raw is just uncivilized.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Walter Sobchak on December 17, 2014, 06:14:08 PM
Would it turn out like a chicken?

Take a human leg for example..... If It were cooked to perfection, would taking a bite out of the calf area equal meat, like biting into a chicken drumstick?

Does muscle turn to meat when cooked?

Next thread this idiot will ask if a fully erect penis really does taste like a salty banana.

I guess this is what passes for humor around here
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: The True Adonis on December 17, 2014, 07:21:17 PM
The fat belly and the cheeks will be the tastiest part.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Teutonic Knight on December 17, 2014, 09:10:45 PM
Would it turn out like a chicken?

Take a human leg for example..... If It were cooked to perfection, would taking a bite out of the calf area equal meat, like biting into a chicken drumstick?

Does muscle turn to meat when cooked?

Read about Stalingrad '43  ;) Russians use to eat homo sapiens.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: muscleman-2013 on December 17, 2014, 09:19:05 PM
Would it turn out like a chicken?

Take a human leg for example..... If It were cooked to perfection, would taking a bite out of the calf area equal meat, like biting into a chicken drumstick?

Does muscle turn to meat when cooked?

And this is the jabroni that's "worried about racism on Getbig"  :-\

Worries about imaginary racism.
























Plans to invite young boys into his trailer for dinner......


(http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=485581.0;attach=526486;image)
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: 6 Reps on December 17, 2014, 09:27:41 PM
hahaha, no.  We are red meat creatures.  Cooks more like beef.  Smell comparable to pork but it is a unique scent given off.  Depends if you boil, sautee or grill.  Slow roasting like KC BBQ is interesting, prefer the femur to be taken out to allow for easier slicing.  Kidneys are fantastic Sous Vide.  A little char once they reach temp is all that's needed.

I heard that we are a "white" meat, not a red, like pork.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: 6 Reps on December 17, 2014, 09:32:08 PM
Sedentary fatties would eat and slice like a filet.  People who exercise (especially BBers) would be tough, like a bottom round or flank steak.

I heard that the stronger the muscle, the tougher the meat would be.  The best meat on us, so I heard, is the butt.  It would be like the prime rib.  Teenagers and young adults would also be the best, as their meat would be the most tender.


Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: falco on December 18, 2014, 03:58:52 AM
It depends a lot on condiments and stuff. Just ask Hannibal Lecter.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: wes on December 18, 2014, 04:08:56 AM
(http://whatwouldjackdo.net/images/wendys-people.jpg)

(http://emtoast.com/wp-content/uploads/McCormick-Pure-Ground-Black-Pepper-4-oz-copy.jpg)

Racist/Canabalistic thread reported.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: BB on December 18, 2014, 04:30:47 AM
Most put the taste in the realm of gamey pork or veal. I suppose it can change some depending on cut, recipe, etc....

(http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/228605/slide_228605_1019016_free.jpg).

Just beware of the odd looking bits above - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/asexual-mao-sugiyama-cooks-serves-own-genitals_n_1543307.html .
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: sync pulse on December 18, 2014, 04:54:24 AM


[/youtube]
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: SuperTed on December 18, 2014, 06:14:36 AM
Try asking Amin Meiwes what human meat (including penis) tastes like. No homo.

Quote
Looking for a willing volunteer, Meiwes posted an advertisement on the website The Cannibal Cafe (a blog site for people with cannibal fetishes). Meiwes's post stated that he was "looking for a well-built 18- to 30-year-old to be slaughtered and then consumed".Bernd Jürgen Armando Brandes, an engineer from Berlin, then answered the advertisement. Many other people responded to the advertisement, but backed out; Meiwes did not attempt to force them to do anything against their will. The two made a videotape when they met on 9 March 2001 in Meiwes's home in the small town of Rotenburg, showcasing Meiwes amputating Brandes's penis and the two men attempting to eat the penis together before Brandes's ultimate demise. Brandes had insisted that Meiwes attempt to bite his penis off. This did not work and ultimately, Meiwes used a knife to remove Brandes's penis. Brandes apparently tried to eat some of his own penis raw, but could not because it was too tough and, as he put it, "chewy". Meiwes then fried the penis in a pan with salt, pepper, wine and garlic; he then fried it with some of Brandes's fat but by then it was too burned to be consumed. He then chopped it up into chunks and fed it to his dog.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: hench on December 18, 2014, 06:31:36 AM
some accounts in this article here, including the andes survivors of 1972
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2155412/Just-like-veal-Following-spate-cannibal-crimes--1920s-explorer-provides-answer-question-everyones-lips--does-human-flesh-taste-like.html
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Novena on December 18, 2014, 06:34:08 AM
Try asking Amin Meiwes what human meat (including penis) tastes like. No homo.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes



Looking for a willing volunteer, Meiwes posted an advertisement on the website The Cannibal Cafe (a blog site for people with cannibal fetishes). Meiwes's post stated that he was "looking for a well-built 18- to 30-year-old to be slaughtered and then consumed".Bernd Jürgen Armando Brandes, an engineer from Berlin, then answered the advertisement. Many other people responded to the advertisement, but backed out; Meiwes did not attempt to force them to do anything against their will. The two made a videotape when they met on 9 March 2001 in Meiwes's home in the small town of Rotenburg, showcasing Meiwes amputating Brandes's penis and the two men attempting to eat the penis together before Brandes's ultimate demise. Brandes had insisted that Meiwes attempt to bite his penis off. This did not work and ultimately, Meiwes used a knife to remove Brandes's penis. Brandes apparently tried to eat some of his own penis raw, but could not because it was too tough and, as he put it, "chewy". Meiwes then fried the penis in a pan with salt, pepper, wine and garlic; he then fried it with some of Brandes's fat but by then it was too burned to be consumed. He then chopped it up into chunks and fed it to his dog.




I am descended from Austrian/German grandparents.
It’s no accident that most of the early mental health professionals were from German speaking countries…Some of the most Fucked in the Head people are Austrian/German.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on December 18, 2014, 07:21:09 AM
People need to realize that humans need to be consumed within the first few years of birth.  Almost all meat consumed by humans is less than 3 years old.  Pigs, Cows, Sheep.  They are all young.  The meat still tender. Young humans under the age of three have a lighter pink like color, sweeter tasting meat and super tender that requires minimal handling.  As they age and puberty kicks in, the meat becomes very tough and a darker red.  Some of us believe its the hormons that toughen the meat.  But a good delicacy is the ball sack of a young teen as they are full and plump.  Meat between 15-60 years old is just not edible.  Too tough, very gamey and stringy, even if braised for a long time.  After 60 , especially post menopausal women have softer meat, but there is a distinct taste to older meat.  Just borderline spoiled taste, but with some earthy mushrooms and a strong red wine it pairs up well.  the organs if harvested correctly can be quite delicious. 

To summarize.  If eating meat only then stick to humans under the age of three.  For a delicacy such as the scrotum, aim for early teens and for yummy organs try for 20-40, better to find those that don't drink much or take drugs, makes for a more succulent meal.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Knooger on December 18, 2014, 07:47:06 AM
People need to realize that humans need to be consumed within the first few years of birth.

(http://eardrummanifestos.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/fresh_baby1.jpg?w=510)
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: hench on December 18, 2014, 07:52:59 AM
Thanks for that, the last human I cooked was around 40 so that explains the toughness. What you say about young meat makes sense.

People need to realize that humans need to be consumed within the first few years of birth.  Almost all meat consumed by humans is less than 3 years old.  Pigs, Cows, Sheep.  They are all young.  The meat still tender. Young humans under the age of three have a lighter pink like color, sweeter tasting meat and super tender that requires minimal handling.  As they age and puberty kicks in, the meat becomes very tough and a darker red.  Some of us believe its the hormons that toughen the meat.  But a good delicacy is the ball sack of a young teen as they are full and plump.  Meat between 15-60 years old is just not edible.  Too tough, very gamey and stringy, even if braised for a long time.  After 60 , especially post menopausal women have softer meat, but there is a distinct taste to older meat.  Just borderline spoiled taste, but with some earthy mushrooms and a strong red wine it pairs up well.  the organs if harvested correctly can be quite delicious. 

To summarize.  If eating meat only then stick to humans under the age of three.  For a delicacy such as the scrotum, aim for early teens and for yummy organs try for 20-40, better to find those that don't drink much or take drugs, makes for a more succulent meal.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: King Shizzo on December 18, 2014, 01:12:11 PM
I wonder if TA could whip us up a few recipies.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: CalvinH on December 19, 2014, 06:19:50 AM
If shizzo dies we can cut open his liver and pour shots for everybody.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: Knooger on December 19, 2014, 09:48:59 AM
If shizzo dies we can cut open his liver and pour shots for everybody.

Probably safer to take shots of Tbombz semen.
Title: Re: Lets say you cooked a human body......
Post by: The Ugly on December 19, 2014, 01:01:45 PM
Try asking Amin Meiwes what human meat (including penis) tastes like. No homo.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes

Among the most disturbing stories ever.