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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: El Diablo Blanco on August 26, 2015, 11:21:55 AM

Title: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on August 26, 2015, 11:21:55 AM
Lots of Christians keep mentioning the return of Jesus but would you believe him if he came back?  What if some long bearded man came back to earth and showed up in Times Square proclaiming he is Jesus. How many people would stop and listen?  To prove it he takes a jug of water and turns it into wine, how many will think he's in some David Blaine TV special. He would instantly be taken away by NYPD and thrown into jail.  He would be able to perform miracle after miracle and the majority of people would think he was some magician.  I honestly believe in the end if Jesus is real and returns he'll end up just going back home saying Fuck this shit.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: BayGBM on August 26, 2015, 11:25:23 AM
He would not look like this... so no one would believe him.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Thespritz0 on August 26, 2015, 11:32:12 AM
Turn water into Boon Farms Apple Wine
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: TuHolmes on August 26, 2015, 11:39:06 AM
Lots of Christians keep mentioning the return of Jesus but would you believe him if he came back?  What if some long bearded man came back to earth and showed up in Times Square proclaiming he is Jesus. How many people would stop and listen?  To prove it he takes a jug of water and turns it into wine, how many will think he's in some David Blaine TV special. He would instantly be taken away by NYPD and thrown into jail.  He would be able to perform miracle after miracle and the majority of people would think he was some magician.  I honestly believe in the end if Jesus is real and returns he'll end up just going back home saying Fuck this shit.

If he ain't flying like superman outside, with no ropes and shit in the middle of nowhere (and I don't mean that street levitation bullshit) then no one will believe it.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Dokey111 on August 26, 2015, 11:51:07 AM
we wouldn't know until we killed him again
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: SquidVicious on August 26, 2015, 12:14:31 PM
If he can walk on water without whispering Mindfreak, I'm sold.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: BigRo on August 26, 2015, 12:14:52 PM
Most Christians are completely ignorant to the spiritual teaching of Jesus, him returning will be of no use to them.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Waller on August 26, 2015, 12:16:06 PM
I've never considered this before but you make a good point. If I saw someone in the street looking like Jesus doing 'magic' I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Poor Jeebus.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Agnostic007 on August 26, 2015, 12:31:56 PM
1 Thessalonians 4:15-5:4 According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of god, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words. Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.


If I saw that
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: FitnessFrenzy on August 26, 2015, 12:32:41 PM
Lots of Christians keep mentioning the return of Jesus but would you believe him if he came back?  What if some long bearded man came back to earth and showed up in Times Square proclaiming he is Jesus. How many people would stop and listen?  To prove it he takes a jug of water and turns it into wine, how many will think he's in some David Blaine TV special. He would instantly be taken away by NYPD and thrown into jail.  He would be able to perform miracle after miracle and the majority of people would think he was some magician.  I honestly believe in the end if Jesus is real and returns he'll end up just going back home saying Fuck this shit.

heal tbombz of his HIV
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on August 26, 2015, 12:49:32 PM
1 Thessalonians 4:15-5:4 According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of god, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words. Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.


If I saw that


Lol, they speak so factual but then throw in this line "Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you,"

Must have been jewish Lawyers that wrote the bible/
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Croatch on August 26, 2015, 12:52:00 PM
I'm still waiting on Santa Claus to prove he's real.  At least I got gifts from that joker.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Wiggs on August 26, 2015, 02:33:37 PM
When Christ returns, you idiots will try to destroy him. You'll be tricked into it and fall for it and get vaporized in your stupidity. Well deserved.

As funny as it may sound to you, based on the book of Revelation, Christ will return in what you call UFOs and it will be said we are being "invaded". You will take up arms against Christ....BTW, he will be BLACK!....FACT!
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Teutonic Knight on August 26, 2015, 02:41:05 PM
Lots of Christians keep mentioning the return of Jesus but would you believe him if he came back?  What if some long bearded man came back to earth and showed up in Times Square proclaiming he is Jesus. How many people would stop and listen?  To prove it he takes a jug of water and turns it into wine, how many will think he's in some David Blaine TV special. He would instantly be taken away by NYPD and thrown into jail.  He would be able to perform miracle after miracle and the majority of people would think he was some magician.  I honestly believe in the end if Jesus is real and returns he'll end up just going back home saying Fuck this shit.

If Jeeezaa return , wine industry will be screwed  :D
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Waller on August 26, 2015, 02:42:50 PM
When Christ returns, you idiots will try to destroy him. You'll be tricked into it and fall for it and get vaporized in your stupidity. Well deserved.

As funny as it may sound to you, based on the book of Revelation, Christian will return in what you call UFOs and it will be said we are being "invaded". You will take up arms against Christ....BTW, he will be BLACK!....FACT!

Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Teutonic Knight on August 26, 2015, 02:43:30 PM
When Christ returns, you idiots will try to destroy him. You'll be tricked into it and fall for it and get vaporized in your stupidity. Well deserved.

As funny as it may sound to you, based on the book of Revelation, Christian will return in what you call UFOs and it will be said we are being "invaded". You will take up arms against Christ....BTW, he will be BLACK!....FACT!

But, Milton WHERE is he (J.C.) NOW  ???
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Pray_4_War on August 26, 2015, 02:43:43 PM
I know some people that are pretty sick, if he cured them I'd be on board.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: 10pints on August 26, 2015, 02:45:31 PM
Shit on Booty's chesticles.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Las Vegas on August 26, 2015, 02:49:58 PM
1 Thessalonians 4:15-5:4 According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of god, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words. Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.


If I saw that

damn.. makes you think pretty hard.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Man of Steel on August 26, 2015, 03:25:25 PM
The now cliche "GB is currently boring......sooooooooooo .....LET'S START A RANDOM RELIGION THREAD ON THE G&O!!"


Now that I've posted SF to post in 5, 4, 3......
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Redux on August 26, 2015, 03:36:26 PM
When Christ returns, you idiots will try to destroy him. You'll be tricked into it and fall for it and get vaporized in your stupidity. Well deserved.

As funny as it may sound to you, based on the book of Revelation, Christian will return in what you call UFOs and it will be said we are being "invaded". You will take up arms against Christ....BTW, he will be BLACK!....FACT!

Are you basing your belief that Jesus is black on that "like a thief in the night" line?
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Dokey111 on August 26, 2015, 03:39:18 PM
Are you basing your belief that Jesus is black on that "like a thief in the night" line?

 :D
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Wiggs on August 26, 2015, 03:51:09 PM
Are you basing your belief that Jesus is black on that "like a thief in the night" line?

I see we have a comedian in the class...
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Teutonic Knight on August 26, 2015, 05:30:09 PM
No fuckin' chance 4 return of +2000 yo Jeezzyy  :D

Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Pray_4_War on August 26, 2015, 05:42:06 PM
Are you basing your belief that Jesus is black on that "like a thief in the night" line?

Well played Redux, well played.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Las Vegas on August 26, 2015, 06:02:10 PM
not to be weird, but did anyone trip a little on that "while people are saying
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Las Vegas on August 26, 2015, 06:03:23 PM
that part about "while people are saying 'peace and safety'...."
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Wiggs on August 26, 2015, 06:06:42 PM
that part about "while people are saying 'peace and safety'...."

Yes.  That would apply to now. That would be the West.  America in particular. America is mystery Babylon. 
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Las Vegas on August 26, 2015, 06:10:36 PM
Yes.  That would apply to now. That would be the West.  America in particular. America is mystery Babylon. 

thing that tripped me a bit is that they are the excuses/justifications for all the bad things that are destroying this country and all hope for the world
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Wiggs on August 26, 2015, 06:12:13 PM
thing that tripped me a bit is that they are the excuses/justifications for all the bad things that are destroying this country and all hope for the world

Yep.  Everyone is just playing their part.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Las Vegas on August 26, 2015, 06:25:55 PM
Yep.  Everyone is just playing their part.

do you know of anyone that's referred to that vs what we're going through as a nation/world?  because it seems pretty  stark
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Las Vegas on August 26, 2015, 06:28:02 PM
in itself, it seems like a good introduction..but I know there are always surrounding explanations for specific assertions in the bible, by the "experts"
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Las Vegas on August 26, 2015, 06:29:44 PM
how has it been explained, in other words
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Irongrip400 on August 26, 2015, 07:02:11 PM
There was a Twilight Zone episode about this.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: The Scott on August 26, 2015, 07:40:55 PM
When Christ returns, you idiots will try to destroy him. You'll be tricked into it and fall for it and get vaporized in your stupidity. Well deserved.

As funny as it may sound to you, based on the book of Revelation, Christ will return in what you call UFOs and it will be said we are being "invaded". You will take up arms against Christ....BTW, he will be BLACK!....FACT!

By the belly of the Buddha, you are so stupid.  Stupid. Stoooooooopid.   Retarded.  Or, as I most recently put it, a theo-illogical retard.  Apparently you are not this way in the real world (per Stuntmovie) but that's probably due to you not wanting to get so much crap beaten out of you that you turn caucasional and no longer qualify for housing and medical aid.

You are an embarrassment to the human race.  Every shade of it.  Shut up and grow up.  What a baby.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Teutonic Knight on August 27, 2015, 03:57:29 AM
Yes.  That would apply to now. That would be the West.  America in particular. America is mystery Babylon. 

Hey Milton, who was Jeezzuuss grandpa  :P
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Tapeworm on August 27, 2015, 04:29:50 AM
Blow me.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Yamcha on August 27, 2015, 04:42:02 AM
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Kwon_2 on August 27, 2015, 05:26:10 AM
Lots of Christians keep mentioning the return of Jesus but would you believe him if he came back?  What if some long bearded man came back to earth and showed up in Times Square proclaiming he is Jesus. How many people would stop and listen?  To prove it he takes a jug of water and turns it into wine, how many will think he's in some David Blaine TV special. He would instantly be taken away by NYPD and thrown into jail.  He would be able to perform miracle after miracle and the majority of people would think he was some magician.  I honestly believe in the end if Jesus is real and returns he'll end up just going back home saying Fuck this shit.

He'd need to give me some Starkist Tuna for me to believe him.

Or maybe turn bitcoins into beepollen.
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Overload on August 27, 2015, 06:17:48 AM
He's already returned and is locked in some Saudi prison cell somewhere for practicing witchcraft.

And rightfully so.

Since we are playing fantasy world here and discussing religion, i guess i would believe him a few hundred years after he's executed again and a bunch of drunks who never met him decide to write stories about him that are filled with the wildest fantasies your heart could desire; forever driving you to believe there is this happy place in the sky where you get to hang out with dead folks for eternity...


8)
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Marty Champions on August 27, 2015, 06:42:03 AM
1 Thessalonians 4:15-5:4 According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of god, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words. Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.


If I saw that
words like forever are terrifying just take each day at a time
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: BlackMetallic on August 27, 2015, 06:51:30 AM
The only thing miracles do is create the need for more miracles

 
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Man of Steel on August 27, 2015, 06:57:41 AM
The only thing miracles do is create the need for more miracles

 

deep
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Agnostic007 on August 27, 2015, 11:38:24 AM
not a generation has passed that didn't think they would see his return.. wonder how many more thousands of years will have to pass before they give that ridiculous notion up..
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on August 27, 2015, 12:00:52 PM
not a generation has passed that didn't think they would see his return.. wonder how many more thousands of years will have to pass before they give that ridiculous notion up..

That is the belief of some politicians.  They want the world to burn down because they believe this is Jesus' work for his return
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: robcguns on August 27, 2015, 12:16:01 PM
Burn ferguson Missouri to the ground
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: Overload on August 27, 2015, 01:00:10 PM
That is the belief of some politicians.  They want the world to burn down because they believe this is Jesus' work for his return


Yep.

The Book of Eli explains the bible's usefullness in modern society.

Can't wait for his return though, always wondered how this was going to work.  Waiting patiently lord, fuck i thought the year 2000 was the end?  :-\  All my religious nutjob friends tell me every year that THIS IS IT! Prepare yourself for the lord. ::) ::) ::)

Get fucked.

Earth has been here billions of years and the only way humans will be eradicated from this Earth is by their own doing.


8)
Title: Re: what would resurrected Jesus need to do to convince you he's real?
Post by: CalvinH on August 27, 2015, 01:02:25 PM
The whole water to wine at my next party would do it.