Getbig.com: American Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure
Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Big Tex C*ckburn, PhD on September 06, 2019, 04:21:31 AM
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There I was, at the traffic lights. The light turned green, so I released the parking brake, checked all the mirrors and my blind spot, signaled that I would shortly begin to turn, then started to move off. Well, obviously being a good driver seemed to enrage the asshole behind me, and he started honking at me and waving obscenities. I glanced in the mirror and began to laugh: another moron playing the size game rather than focusing on his conditioning. And to top it all off he was in a 10-year-old M3. Jealousy obviously got the better of him. His girlfriend sat next to him, though, was something else. Basically the double of Sofia Vergara.
I indicated that I was pulling over and motioned for him to do the same. He nudged into the back of me, and was shouting all sorts of insults, but as I stepped out of the Mclaren and walked towards him, he absolutely SHAT HIMSELF! "Baby, be careful!" his girlfriend screamed. "His arms are ridiculous...more conditioned than the 1983 version of Samir Bannout!"
I immediately took up a karate stance and lashed out with a brutal slap across his face. He let out a high-pitched scream and begged me to stop. Well, at this point I was too annoyed, so I lifted him up above my head and literally threw him across the street! I walked back to my Mclaren and prepared to drive off. Suddenly, I felt a hand touch my thigh. I turned around and it was his girlfriend in MY passenger seat, and her tits were FULLY exposed! What a day this is turning out to be.
Tex.
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something about you is boring
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something about you is boring
Everything about you is boring.
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Then you woke up, right Tex?! I hate it when that happens, just as it is getting good.
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There I was, at the traffic lights. The light turned green, so I released the parking brake, checked all the mirrors and my blind spot, signaled that I would shortly begin to turn, then started to move off. Well, obviously being a good driver seemed to enrage the asshole behind me, and he started honking at me and waving obscenities. I glanced in the mirror and began to laugh: another moron playing the size game rather than focusing on his conditioning. And to top it all off he was in a 10-year-old M3. Jealousy obviously got the better of him. His girlfriend sat next to him, though, was something else. Basically the double of Sofia Vergara.
I indicated that I was pulling over and motioned for him to do the same. He nudged into the back of me, and was shouting all sorts of insults, but as I stepped out of the Mclaren and walked towards him, he absolutely SHAT HIMSELF! "Baby, be careful!" his girlfriend screamed. "His arms are ridiculous...more conditioned than the 1983 version of Samir Bannout!"
I immediately took up a karate stance and lashed out with a brutal slap across his face. He let out a high-pitched scream and begged me to stop. Well, at this point I was too annoyed, so I lifted him up above my head and literally threw him across the street! I walked back to my Mclaren and prepared to drive off. Suddenly, I felt a hand touch my thigh. I turned around and it was his girlfriend in MY passenger seat, and her tits were FULLY exposed! What a day this is turning out to be.
Tex.
This isn't even an entertaining gimmick
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Unlike the sad clown Kwon, he is not really trying to be funny :)
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I assume you meant Toyota 72-8fd30
(https://i.machinio.com/medium/al/c3h5vw/23771_3.jpg)
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These gimmicks are either Ron Avidan, Mathjew Canning, or Goodrum
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There I was, at the traffic lights. The light turned green, so I released the parking brake, checked all the mirrors and my blind spot, signaled that I would shortly begin to turn, then started to move off. Well, obviously being a good driver seemed to enrage the asshole behind me, and he started honking at me and waving obscenities. I glanced in the mirror and began to laugh: another moron playing the size game rather than focusing on his conditioning. And to top it all off he was in a 10-year-old M3. Jealousy obviously got the better of him. His girlfriend sat next to him, though, was something else. Basically the double of Sofia Vergara.
I indicated that I was pulling over and motioned for him to do the same. He nudged into the back of me, and was shouting all sorts of insults, but as I stepped out of the Mclaren and walked towards him, he absolutely SHAT HIMSELF! "Baby, be careful!" his girlfriend screamed. "His arms are ridiculous...more conditioned than the 1983 version of Samir Bannout!"
I immediately took up a karate stance and lashed out with a brutal slap across his face. He let out a high-pitched scream and begged me to stop. Well, at this point I was too annoyed, so I lifted him up above my head and literally threw him across the street! I walked back to my Mclaren and prepared to drive off. Suddenly, I felt a hand touch my thigh. I turned around and it was his girlfriend in MY passenger seat, and her tits were FULLY exposed! What a day this is turning out to be.
Tex.
translation--
I was headed to my dishwashing job at The local I HOP, so I was sitting in my 1985 Toyota corolla I was at a red light, I looked down at my flip phone when I light must have turned green the car behind me was honking its horn. this guy pulls up to my side jumps out his hot girlfriend laughing her ass off as the man was about to punch me out.He stopped in mid swing called me pathetic.
Then he grabs me makes me watch as his girlfriend sucks him off and right before he blows his load pulls out. Blows his hot load on my face then says have a good day .....
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This isn't even an entertaining gimmick
Tex and Joe Valentino are Shizzles gimmicks.
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What's your PhD in, Dick?
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His girlfriend knew the truth. Big, conditioned arms mean you're automatically a dangerous fighter
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These gimmicks are either Ron Avidan, Mathjew Canning, or Goodrum
Goodrum?! What's your thinking behind that? I could believe it's Matt but very surprised if it's Vince.
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Tex and Joe Valentino are Shizzles gimmicks.
Youre clueless.
Keep on creating another 25 useless threads, Kwon.
This is what you do 'best' :)
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something about you is boring
Just another gimmic trying to get some forum-cred. I do agree with you, nothing here, just keep moving.
J
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something Everything about you is boring & retarded.
Fixed
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Just a run-of-the-mill day for a Getbigger.
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There I was, at the traffic lights. The light turned green, so I released the parking brake, checked all the mirrors and my blind spot, signaled that I would shortly begin to turn, then started to move off. Well, obviously being a good driver seemed to enrage the asshole behind me, and he started honking at me and waving obscenities. I glanced in the mirror and began to laugh: another moron playing the size game rather than focusing on his conditioning. And to top it all off he was in a 10-year-old M3. Jealousy obviously got the better of him. His girlfriend sat next to him, though, was something else. Basically the double of Sofia Vergara.
I indicated that I was pulling over and motioned for him to do the same. He nudged into the back of me, and was shouting all sorts of insults, but as I stepped out of the Mclaren and walked towards him, he absolutely SHAT HIMSELF! "Baby, be careful!" his girlfriend screamed. "His arms are ridiculous...more conditioned than the 1983 version of Samir Bannout!"
I immediately took up a karate stance and lashed out with a brutal slap across his face. He let out a high-pitched scream and begged me to stop. Well, at this point I was too annoyed, so I lifted him up above my head and literally threw him across the street! I walked back to my Mclaren and prepared to drive off. Suddenly, I felt a hand touch my thigh. I turned around and it was his girlfriend in MY passenger seat, and her tits were FULLY exposed! What a day this is turning out to be.
Tex.
Good fiction.
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Goodrum?! What's your thinking behind that? I could believe it's Matt but very surprised if it's Vince.
I could see it being Mathjew “Mouthful of Cock” Canning because his entire pitiful life revolves around being a bodybuilding groupie. I think he’d let Liar Priest chili dog him if he thought it would make him popular.
Goodrum just likes to troll and raw dog men like Primehomosexual.
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Hes like a more sophisticated Big Steve/ Tunza muscle
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Good fiction.
As Anabolichalo he was dreaming about $5 whores in Haiti & 19" arms , but :-\
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Questions:1. How many lanes wide, was the road you threw him across?
2. Did any of shit splash on you when you -b-slapped him?
3. Did the girl with tits end up being a tranny with a big dong that became Untucked?
;D
that was 16 lanes German autobahn, he was driving to Belgium from his meeting with Angela Merkel ;)
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tell me about it people are rude... went out in the Koenigsegg yesterday to pick up some groceries and had a simular incident. ended up signing autographs after i straightflexed my 23 inch diamond cut triceps
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Getbiggers,
It's not unusual to run into various types of anabolic steroid users, from the typical male, 18-35, to older folk, women, even mentally challenged bros like my friend Marvin. But who can honestly say they know a person suffering from dwarfism who is a heavy gear user? Well, I certainly can, and he's a bastard!
The other day at the gym, I was collecting all the 45 pound plates in the place in order to load up the leg press with a challenging weight when, lo and behold, I literally stumbled on a midget doing dumbbell curls. Dwarves are usually stumpy, but this fellow defied stumpy- he was literally as wide as he was tall (perhaps 4 feet), and looked like a slightly taller version of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I stopped in front of him and looked down, staring. "What the fuck you lookin at?" the little devil snarled. "Pound for pound, I'm probably the strongest in this gym" he bragged. "See, folks like me get more out of steroids cause of our being smaller" he snapped. Then he waddled proudly over to an Olympic bar loaded up with 400 pounds and dead lifted it, albeit his range of motion was a only few inches due to his size. Swelling up his chest, he walked by me, as if I were supposed to be impressed. I thought I heard him mutter "fuckin ####". Later, I noticed him cursing some other lifters, and lecturing them on proper gear use. He even challenged one of them to a fight!
At the time, I was too shocked by the sight of the little freak to correct his arrogant attitude, but I lay quivering in bed that night, shaking in rage. The next time I saw him, there would be a reckoning.
There he was at the gym the next day, and I approached him, smirking, and made an innocent enough joke- 'Hey there, Tom Thumb, be careful, if immigration officers catch you they'll deport you back to the land of Lilliput!" I roared, laughing. Nobby came along and joined in "little bahstahd, fook off!" he said, then kicked the little fellow over with his foot. Then Marvin, a Down-Syndrome afflicted bodybuilder at the gym, came over, laughing, and kicked the little bastard in the face! He wobbled to his feet, and ran out the gym, screaming "I'll be back with my friends, you fuckers!!" as everyone roared with laughter.
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Whose life could be so empty that they have time for this shit? You might as well kill yourself.
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Whose life could be so empty that they have time for this shit? You might as well kill yourself.
Anyone who writes as much as Tex Cock on this forum is an idiot. Probably some wheel chair bound retard.
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Brothers,
I am thinking of getting into coaching for the disabled, both those with physical and mental disabilities- maybe something along the lines of the Special Olympics. A recent experience at the gym has, indeed, made me realize that NO MATTER what disability a person has, it should not deter them from pursuing the Iron Warrior lifestyle!
I was training back with my chauffeur and personal assistant, Nobby. We were doing weighted chins- the extra weight being a pencil neck we collared, frog-marched over to the chinning bar, and had him hang onto my legs as I repped out 10 chins, screaming with effort the whole time.
After my set, I noticed a number of handicapped folk training- some sort of group-home outing, no doubt. Nobby and I watched as one of the group-home workers tried to show a lad in a wheelchair how to do lat pulldowns, and had him using only 3 plates of the stack!
"This won't do", I sneered, and Nobby and I headed over to the woman and the handicapped fellow. "You think just because this man is wheelchair bound that he is a weakling?" I asked her. As she began to answer, Nobby smacked her across the face as I screamed "SILENCE!!" so loud the equipment rattled.
"Alright, brother- time for some REAL work!" I cried, put wrist straps on the man, put the pin to the bottom of the stack, added a 45 to it, pulled the pulldown-bar to his chest and while I held it there Nobby wrapped the straps around the bar. "BUSINESS- AS USUAL- NOW SQUEEZE....FEEL THE NEGATIVES!!" I roared, then let go of the bar. It snapped up, taking the man with it, and he flew over the pulldown machine and landed on the floor behind it, then began going into convulsions- he was having a seizure!
I looked at Nobby. He looked at me. I put my hands deep into my pockets and, looking as innocent as possible, sauntered off, whistling a piece by Handel. Nobby lumbered off in the other direction, stopping only to punch a punk wearing a wife beater reading 'Dumbell 150' on it in the face.
Later on, we headed over to the squat rack to do shrugs- but someone was using it! In this case, we decided not to toss them aside as a truly inspirational scene took place before our eyes.
There was a lad of about 20ish, suffering from Down's Syndrome, doing squats with 315- he was really putting superhuman effort into his sets! Once he was done, I approached him, offering my support.
"Bloody ****ing well done!" I cried. "What is your name?" I asked.
"Mawvin" he replied. Marvin was a happy looking fellow, and behind a pair of glasses with lenses 2 inches thick I could detect a warrior spirit. "Marvin, look about" I said. "You are the strongest of your group...I do hope YOU are taking bloody ****ing charge of this lot!" I cried. "See that man over there- the one in the wheelchair, drinking Gatorade...why not go over and claim that bloody Gatorade for yourself!"
"Roight. Show 'em who's bloody fookin boss!" Nobby snarled.
Marvin's eyes lit up, and he burst forth, screaming, in a frenzy not seen since Japanese 'banzai' charges of WWII, and charged straight at the man in the wheelchair, clotheslining him out of his chair. He snatched the gatorade bottle, and his maniacal banzai attack not quite over, he made a screaming dash at a fellow who was sitting on a bench analysing a bright shiny object he had picked up off the floor. Marvin crashed into him, and began putting the boots to him. At that moment, several group home workers and gym members tackled him, and as he screamed obscenities and struggled, one of the workers shoved a needle into his thigh and injected him with what was, no doubt, a powerful sedative. In 10 seconds, he stopped moving and the paramedics were called.
"I have seen enough. These poor fellows are being denied their DIGNITY!" I screamed. We headed out of the gym...and while heading out a man followed us into the parking lot. "Hi...look, I'm the manager of the group home...call me 'Projection'...and I know you guys are only trying to help, but-" at that point he put his hand on Nobby's shoulder "...we prefer to handle them ourselves!" he said warmly.
He had touched Nobby. The end was near, so very, very near.
I stepped back. The skies darkened, birds flew away, and Nobby stood there like stone, as the ramifications of what had just happened dawned on him.
Sreaming "FOOKIN POOFTAH!!!" Nobby delivered a kick, which would have sent a soccer ball into orbit, right into Projection's testicles, lifting him up a few feet into the air. While hanging in mid-air, Nobby lashed him across the face with his chain, and he came to the ground like a pile of dirty laundry, and lay quivering, in the fetal position with his hands between his legs, on the parking lot.
We jumped into the Rolls and roared off, as concerned members came out of the gym and, no doubt, the authorities were called.
Nobby and I are checking into coaching opportunities at the Special Olympics.
Any bros have experience in that department?
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There I was, at the traffic lights. The light turned green, so I released the parking brake, checked all the mirrors and my blind spot,
Tex.
Uh, why would you have the parking brake on at the traffic light?
Also, with a mclaren, you don’t check blind spots because anything that’s not right in front of you or right next to you is a blind spot. Another thing to mention is Mclarens, Ferrari’s, Lamborghinis, and 911s are too fucking small and not very comfortable for some over 6’ tall carrying any decent amount of muscle
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There I was, at the traffic lights. The light turned green, so I released the parking brake, checked all the mirrors and my blind spot, signaled that I would shortly begin to turn, then started to move off. Well, obviously being a good driver seemed to enrage the asshole behind me, and he started honking at me and waving obscenities. I glanced in the mirror and began to laugh: another moron playing the size game rather than focusing on his conditioning. And to top it all off he was in a 10-year-old M3. Jealousy obviously got the better of him. His girlfriend sat next to him, though, was something else. Basically the double of Sofia Vergara.
I indicated that I was pulling over and motioned for him to do the same. He nudged into the back of me, and was shouting all sorts of insults, but as I stepped out of the Mclaren and walked towards him, he absolutely SHAT HIMSELF! "Baby, be careful!" his girlfriend screamed. "His arms are ridiculous...more conditioned than the 1983 version of Samir Bannout!"
I immediately took up a karate stance and lashed out with a brutal slap across his face. He let out a high-pitched scream and begged me to stop. Well, at this point I was too annoyed, so I lifted him up above my head and literally threw him across the street! I walked back to my Mclaren and prepared to drive off. Suddenly, I felt a hand touch my thigh. I turned around and it was his girlfriend in MY passenger seat, and her tits were FULLY exposed! What a day this is turning out to be.
Tex.
Cliff Notes: I got out of my car. Got my fat face slapped. Fell to my knee's. Sucked this lad's massive cock til completion.
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Anyone who writes as much as Tex Cock on this forum is an idiot. Probably some wheel chair bound retard.
Tex is not a The Scott gimmick, thats a very bad insult :(
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Uh, why would you have the parking brake on at the traffic light?
Also, with a mclaren, you don’t check blind spots because anything that’s not right in front of you or right next to you is a blind spot. Another thing to mention is Mclarens, Ferrari’s, Lamborghinis, and 911s are too fucking small and not very comfortable for some over 6’ tall carrying any decent amount of muscle
Dammit !!! That was what I was going to ask... lol. What retard engages the parking brake at a red light??
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Brothers,
I am thinking of getting into coaching for the disabled, both those with physical and mental disabilities- maybe something along the lines of the Special Olympics. A recent experience at the gym has, indeed, made me realize that NO MATTER what disability a person has, it should not deter them from pursuing the Iron Warrior lifestyle!
I was training back with my chauffeur and personal assistant, Nobby. We were doing weighted chins- the extra weight being a pencil neck we collared, frog-marched over to the chinning bar, and had him hang onto my legs as I repped out 10 chins, screaming with effort the whole time.
After my set, I noticed a number of handicapped folk training- some sort of group-home outing, no doubt. Nobby and I watched as one of the group-home workers tried to show a lad in a wheelchair how to do lat pulldowns, and had him using only 3 plates of the stack!
"This won't do", I sneered, and Nobby and I headed over to the woman and the handicapped fellow. "You think just because this man is wheelchair bound that he is a weakling?" I asked her. As she began to answer, Nobby smacked her across the face as I screamed "SILENCE!!" so loud the equipment rattled.
"Alright, brother- time for some REAL work!" I cried, put wrist straps on the man, put the pin to the bottom of the stack, added a 45 to it, pulled the pulldown-bar to his chest and while I held it there Nobby wrapped the straps around the bar. "BUSINESS- AS USUAL- NOW SQUEEZE....FEEL THE NEGATIVES!!" I roared, then let go of the bar. It snapped up, taking the man with it, and he flew over the pulldown machine and landed on the floor behind it, then began going into convulsions- he was having a seizure!
I looked at Nobby. He looked at me. I put my hands deep into my pockets and, looking as innocent as possible, sauntered off, whistling a piece by Handel. Nobby lumbered off in the other direction, stopping only to punch a punk wearing a wife beater reading 'Dumbell 150' on it in the face.
Later on, we headed over to the squat rack to do shrugs- but someone was using it! In this case, we decided not to toss them aside as a truly inspirational scene took place before our eyes.
There was a lad of about 20ish, suffering from Down's Syndrome, doing squats with 315- he was really putting superhuman effort into his sets! Once he was done, I approached him, offering my support.
"Bloody ****ing well done!" I cried. "What is your name?" I asked.
"Mawvin" he replied. Marvin was a happy looking fellow, and behind a pair of glasses with lenses 2 inches thick I could detect a warrior spirit. "Marvin, look about" I said. "You are the strongest of your group...I do hope YOU are taking bloody ****ing charge of this lot!" I cried. "See that man over there- the one in the wheelchair, drinking Gatorade...why not go over and claim that bloody Gatorade for yourself!"
"Roight. Show 'em who's bloody fookin boss!" Nobby snarled.
Marvin's eyes lit up, and he burst forth, screaming, in a frenzy not seen since Japanese 'banzai' charges of WWII, and charged straight at the man in the wheelchair, clotheslining him out of his chair. He snatched the gatorade bottle, and his maniacal banzai attack not quite over, he made a screaming dash at a fellow who was sitting on a bench analysing a bright shiny object he had picked up off the floor. Marvin crashed into him, and began putting the boots to him. At that moment, several group home workers and gym members tackled him, and as he screamed obscenities and struggled, one of the workers shoved a needle into his thigh and injected him with what was, no doubt, a powerful sedative. In 10 seconds, he stopped moving and the paramedics were called.
"I have seen enough. These poor fellows are being denied their DIGNITY!" I screamed. We headed out of the gym...and while heading out a man followed us into the parking lot. "Hi...look, I'm the manager of the group home...call me 'Projection'...and I know you guys are only trying to help, but-" at that point he put his hand on Nobby's shoulder "...we prefer to handle them ourselves!" he said warmly.
He had touched Nobby. The end was near, so very, very near.
I stepped back. The skies darkened, birds flew away, and Nobby stood there like stone, as the ramifications of what had just happened dawned on him.
Sreaming "FOOKIN POOFTAH!!!" Nobby delivered a kick, which would have sent a soccer ball into orbit, right into Projection's testicles, lifting him up a few feet into the air. While hanging in mid-air, Nobby lashed him across the face with his chain, and he came to the ground like a pile of dirty laundry, and lay quivering, in the fetal position with his hands between his legs, on the parking lot.
We jumped into the Rolls and roared off, as concerned members came out of the gym and, no doubt, the authorities were called.
Nobby and I are checking into coaching opportunities at the Special Olympics.
Any bros have experience in that department?
Holy shit that was you!!?? I had a helluva hangover when I came too - not sure but think it was ketamine they shot me with.
And for your information - I have down with the sickness syndrome - it’s way more worded than just downs
Finally - we would be honored to be coached by you and Nobby
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Getbiggers,
It's not unusual to run into various types of anabolic steroid users, from the typical male, 18-35, to older folk, women, even mentally challenged bros like my friend Marvin. But who can honestly say they know a person suffering from dwarfism who is a heavy gear user? Well, I certainly can, and he's a bastard!
The other day at the gym, I was collecting all the 45 pound plates in the place in order to load up the leg press with a challenging weight when, lo and behold, I literally stumbled on a midget doing dumbbell curls. Dwarves are usually stumpy, but this fellow defied stumpy- he was literally as wide as he was tall (perhaps 4 feet), and looked like a slightly taller version of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I stopped in front of him and looked down, staring. "What the fuck you lookin at?" the little devil snarled. "Pound for pound, I'm probably the strongest in this gym" he bragged. "See, folks like me get more out of steroids cause of our being smaller" he snapped. Then he waddled proudly over to an Olympic bar loaded up with 400 pounds and dead lifted it, albeit his range of motion was a only few inches due to his size. Swelling up his chest, he walked by me, as if I were supposed to be impressed. I thought I heard him mutter "fuckin ####". Later, I noticed him cursing some other lifters, and lecturing them on proper gear use. He even challenged one of them to a fight!
At the time, I was too shocked by the sight of the little freak to correct his arrogant attitude, but I lay quivering in bed that night, shaking in rage. The next time I saw him, there would be a reckoning.
There he was at the gym the next day, and I approached him, smirking, and made an innocent enough joke- 'Hey there, Tom Thumb, be careful, if immigration officers catch you they'll deport you back to the land of Lilliput!" I roared, laughing. Nobby came along and joined in "little bahstahd, fook off!" he said, then kicked the little fellow over with his foot. Then Marvin, a Down-Syndrome afflicted bodybuilder at the gym, came over, laughing, and kicked the little bastard in the face! He wobbled to his feet, and ran out the gym, screaming "I'll be back with my friends, you fuckers!!" as everyone roared with laughter.
Awesome.
-
There I was, at the traffic lights. The light turned green, so I released the parking brake, checked all the mirrors and my blind spot, signaled that I would shortly begin to turn, then started to move off. Well, obviously being a good driver seemed to enrage the asshole behind me, and he started honking at me and waving obscenities. I glanced in the mirror and began to laugh: another moron playing the size game rather than focusing on his conditioning. And to top it all off he was in a 10-year-old M3. Jealousy obviously got the better of him. His girlfriend sat next to him, though, was something else. Basically the double of Sofia Vergara.
I indicated that I was pulling over and motioned for him to do the same. He nudged into the back of me, and was shouting all sorts of insults, but as I stepped out of the Mclaren and walked towards him, he absolutely SHAT HIMSELF! "Baby, be careful!" his girlfriend screamed. "His arms are ridiculous...more conditioned than the 1983 version of Samir Bannout!"
I immediately took up a karate stance and lashed out with a brutal slap across his face. He let out a high-pitched scream and begged me to stop. Well, at this point I was too annoyed, so I lifted him up above my head and literally threw him across the street! I walked back to my Mclaren and prepared to drive off. Suddenly, I felt a hand touch my thigh. I turned around and it was his girlfriend in MY passenger seat, and her tits were FULLY exposed! What a day this is turning out to be.
Tex.
(https://media.tenor.com/images/1c88e45b0755daa070df2742cab0b3d9/tenor.gif)
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What's is the purpose of this thread? Bad pointless fiction writing?
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Brothers,
I am thinking of getting into coaching for the disabled, both those with physical and mental disabilities- maybe something along the lines of the Special Olympics. A recent experience at the gym has, indeed, made me realize that NO MATTER what disability a person has, it should not deter them from pursuing the Iron Warrior lifestyle!
I was training back with my chauffeur and personal assistant, Nobby. We were doing weighted chins- the extra weight being a pencil neck we collared, frog-marched over to the chinning bar, and had him hang onto my legs as I repped out 10 chins, screaming with effort the whole time.
After my set, I noticed a number of handicapped folk training- some sort of group-home outing, no doubt. Nobby and I watched as one of the group-home workers tried to show a lad in a wheelchair how to do lat pulldowns, and had him using only 3 plates of the stack!
"This won't do", I sneered, and Nobby and I headed over to the woman and the handicapped fellow. "You think just because this man is wheelchair bound that he is a weakling?" I asked her. As she began to answer, Nobby smacked her across the face as I screamed "SILENCE!!" so loud the equipment rattled.
"Alright, brother- time for some REAL work!" I cried, put wrist straps on the man, put the pin to the bottom of the stack, added a 45 to it, pulled the pulldown-bar to his chest and while I held it there Nobby wrapped the straps around the bar. "BUSINESS- AS USUAL- NOW SQUEEZE....FEEL THE NEGATIVES!!" I roared, then let go of the bar. It snapped up, taking the man with it, and he flew over the pulldown machine and landed on the floor behind it, then began going into convulsions- he was having a seizure!
I looked at Nobby. He looked at me. I put my hands deep into my pockets and, looking as innocent as possible, sauntered off, whistling a piece by Handel. Nobby lumbered off in the other direction, stopping only to punch a punk wearing a wife beater reading 'Dumbell 150' on it in the face.
Later on, we headed over to the squat rack to do shrugs- but someone was using it! In this case, we decided not to toss them aside as a truly inspirational scene took place before our eyes.
There was a lad of about 20ish, suffering from Down's Syndrome, doing squats with 315- he was really putting superhuman effort into his sets! Once he was done, I approached him, offering my support.
"Bloody ****ing well done!" I cried. "What is your name?" I asked.
"Mawvin" he replied. Marvin was a happy looking fellow, and behind a pair of glasses with lenses 2 inches thick I could detect a warrior spirit. "Marvin, look about" I said. "You are the strongest of your group...I do hope YOU are taking bloody ****ing charge of this lot!" I cried. "See that man over there- the one in the wheelchair, drinking Gatorade...why not go over and claim that bloody Gatorade for yourself!"
"Roight. Show 'em who's bloody fookin boss!" Nobby snarled.
Marvin's eyes lit up, and he burst forth, screaming, in a frenzy not seen since Japanese 'banzai' charges of WWII, and charged straight at the man in the wheelchair, clotheslining him out of his chair. He snatched the gatorade bottle, and his maniacal banzai attack not quite over, he made a screaming dash at a fellow who was sitting on a bench analysing a bright shiny object he had picked up off the floor. Marvin crashed into him, and began putting the boots to him. At that moment, several group home workers and gym members tackled him, and as he screamed obscenities and struggled, one of the workers shoved a needle into his thigh and injected him with what was, no doubt, a powerful sedative. In 10 seconds, he stopped moving and the paramedics were called.
"I have seen enough. These poor fellows are being denied their DIGNITY!" I screamed. We headed out of the gym...and while heading out a man followed us into the parking lot. "Hi...look, I'm the manager of the group home...call me 'Projection'...and I know you guys are only trying to help, but-" at that point he put his hand on Nobby's shoulder "...we prefer to handle them ourselves!" he said warmly.
He had touched Nobby. The end was near, so very, very near.
I stepped back. The skies darkened, birds flew away, and Nobby stood there like stone, as the ramifications of what had just happened dawned on him.
Sreaming "FOOKIN POOFTAH!!!" Nobby delivered a kick, which would have sent a soccer ball into orbit, right into Projection's testicles, lifting him up a few feet into the air. While hanging in mid-air, Nobby lashed him across the face with his chain, and he came to the ground like a pile of dirty laundry, and lay quivering, in the fetal position with his hands between his legs, on the parking lot.
We jumped into the Rolls and roared off, as concerned members came out of the gym and, no doubt, the authorities were called.
Nobby and I are checking into coaching opportunities at the Special Olympics.
Any bros have experience in that department?
You are a talented writer. A collection of your stories should be made available in book form.
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You are a talented writer. A collection of your stories should be made available in book form.
They are, look up VIctorian guy and his writings of Nobby.
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Getbiggers,
It's not unusual to run into various types of anabolic steroid users, from the typical male, 18-35, to older folk, women, even mentally challenged bros like my friend Marvin. But who can honestly say they know a person suffering from dwarfism who is a heavy gear user? Well, I certainly can, and he's a bastard!
The other day at the gym, I was collecting all the 45 pound plates in the place in order to load up the leg press with a challenging weight when, lo and behold, I literally stumbled on a midget doing dumbbell curls. Dwarves are usually stumpy, but this fellow defied stumpy- he was literally as wide as he was tall (perhaps 4 feet), and looked like a slightly taller version of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I stopped in front of him and looked down, staring. "What the fuck you lookin at?" the little devil snarled. "Pound for pound, I'm probably the strongest in this gym" he bragged. "See, folks like me get more out of steroids cause of our being smaller" he snapped. Then he waddled proudly over to an Olympic bar loaded up with 400 pounds and dead lifted it, albeit his range of motion was a only few inches due to his size. Swelling up his chest, he walked by me, as if I were supposed to be impressed. I thought I heard him mutter "fuckin ####". Later, I noticed him cursing some other lifters, and lecturing them on proper gear use. He even challenged one of them to a fight!
At the time, I was too shocked by the sight of the little freak to correct his arrogant attitude, but I lay quivering in bed that night, shaking in rage. The next time I saw him, there would be a reckoning.
There he was at the gym the next day, and I approached him, smirking, and made an innocent enough joke- 'Hey there, Tom Thumb, be careful, if immigration officers catch you they'll deport you back to the land of Lilliput!" I roared, laughing. Nobby came along and joined in "little bahstahd, fook off!" he said, then kicked the little fellow over with his foot. Then Marvin, a Down-Syndrome afflicted bodybuilder at the gym, came over, laughing, and kicked the little bastard in the face! He wobbled to his feet, and ran out the gym, screaming "I'll be back with my friends, you fuckers!!" as everyone roared with laughter.
Kind of funny even though it's utter fiction.
I once met a dwarf with a nasty attitude. Do you suppose being small has something to do with attitude?
Oh, and when he returns with his friends, you better look out.
(https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/0a5712c/2147483647/strip/true/crop/640x360+0+34/resize/1280x720!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmediaassets.wxyz.com%2Fphoto%2F2018%2F09%2F19%2FExtreme%20midget%20wrestling%20Detroit_1537370556719.jpg_97976701_ver1.0_640_480.jpg)