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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: funk51 on January 11, 2025, 12:49:03 PM
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The Quotes of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Credit to respective owner
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Steven Wright was pretty funny back in the 80's. Clever in an odd way. I watched one of his old stand-up routines on YouTube recently and his material hasn't held up well in the more cynical times of today.
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Steven Wright was pretty funny back in the 80's. Clever in an odd way. I watched one of his old stand-up routines on YouTube recently and his material hasn't held up well in the more cynical times of today.
What ya think of Jeselnyk?
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"It`s a small world,but I wouldn`t want to paint it".
"Why do we park in a driveway,and drive on a parkway"?
-Steven Wright
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"It`s a small world,but I wouldn`t want to paint it".
"Why do we park in a driveway,and drive on a parkway"?
-Steven Wright
Steven Wright asks the right questions, why indeed. He is very funny. Reminds me of another comedian I liked.
(https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SyXlJZ-uBZI/UjEYdlvUFGI/AAAAAAAAEZU/SJQRK7WkP1U/s1600/george+carlin.jpg)
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Comedians who write their own material are geniuses. They see obvious shit that is invisible to everyone else.
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Steven Wright asks the right questions, why indeed. He is very funny. Reminds me of another comedian I liked.
(https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SyXlJZ-uBZI/UjEYdlvUFGI/AAAAAAAAEZU/SJQRK7WkP1U/s1600/george+carlin.jpg)
George Carlin was great !!
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Boost Your Knowledge! DID YOU KNOW?❓
Birds do not urinate.
Horses and cows sleep while standing.
The bat is the only mammal capable of flight. Its leg bones are so thin that it cannot walk.
Even when a snake’s eyes are closed, it can still see through its eyelids.
Despite their fluffy white fur, Polar Bears actually have black skin.
The average housefly lives only 2 to 3 weeks.
For every human, there are approximately one million ants.
A small amount of alcohol on a scorpion will drive it insane and cause it to sting itself to death.
Alligators and sharks can live for up to 100 years.
A honeybee has two stomachs: one for honey and one for food.
Elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale. A blue whale’s heart is the size of a car.
Blue whales are the largest creatures to ever roam the Earth.
A cockroach can survive for about a week without its head before dying of starvation.
When a dolphin is sick or injured, its cries of distress prompt other dolphins to assist, helping it surface to breathe.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years.
The fastest bird, the spine-tailed swift, can fly at speeds of up to 106 mph. (The peregrine falcon is even faster at 390 km/h or 108 mph.)
A cow produces nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.
The leech has 32 brains.
The average outdoor cat lives only 3 years, while indoor-only cats can live 16 years or longer.
Sharks are immune to every disease, including cancer.
A mosquito’s proboscis has 47 sharp edges to help it cut through skin and even protective clothing.
The human brain has a memory capacity of over 2.5 million petabytes, equivalent to 2,500,500 gigabytes.
Knowledge is Power!
What is the biological phenomenon responsible for the gradual loss of muscle mass, strength, and function as we age? This is known as Sarcopenia!
Sarcopenia refers to the progressive loss of skeletal muscle mass and strength due to aging. The impact of this condition can be severe, depending on the individual.
How to prevent Sarcopenia?
Stay Active: If you can stand, don’t sit—if you can sit, don’t lie down! Movement is key to preventing muscle loss.
Encourage Movement in the Elderly: When an elderly person is sick or hospitalized, avoid encouraging them to rest or remain in bed. Help them walk, unless they are too weak to do so. Lying in bed for just a week can cause a 5% loss in muscle mass, and seniors often cannot fully recover this loss.
Sarcopenia is more concerning than osteoporosis: With osteoporosis, the primary risk is falling, but sarcopenia not only affects quality of life but also contributes to high blood sugar due to reduced muscle mass.
Idle muscles lead to faster muscle loss: Muscles in the legs deteriorate quickly when not used. Sitting or lying down limits leg movement, weakening muscles. Activities like walking, running, and cycling are excellent ways to build and maintain muscle mass.
Aging Starts from the Feet Up! Keep your legs active and strong as you age. If you don’t move your legs for just two weeks, you’ll lose the strength of a decade! Regular exercises like walking and cycling are vital for maintaining muscle strength.
The feet support the entire body’s weight, making them critical for mobility. So, walk every day to maintain strength and mobility.