Getbig Bodybuilding, Figure and Fitness Forums
Getbig Female Info Boards => Open Talk for Girl Discussion => Topic started by: Deedee on September 28, 2006, 09:25:03 AM
-
This morning I passed by an older guy at work who was all dressed up...crisp shirt, tie, jacket and he looked really good. So I said "you look really nice today," knowing he wouldn't take it the wrong way. But then one of the women who overheard told me that constituted sexual harrassment as per company policy. I was floored and thought that was so nothing compared with some of the harrassment women endure and put up with... some of the stories I've heard from my girlfriends are absolutely shocking.
Two of mine, not so bad:
Getting hauled into the old, trollish president's office (three weeks after his wife passed away and he was having 6 martini lunches every day) and him telling me he heard I worked out, so I should take off my clothes and show him. ::)
Hugged and squeezed by an older co-worker and told "I love all my girls" when we were both working late one night and no one else was around. (btw: he ended up having a one night fling with the office lunatic who ended up leaving him 80 voice mails and stalking him outside the office.)
Is telling someone they look nice, really sexual harrassment? :-\
-
It all depends on the relationship with the person, the context of how it was said and the preception of other co workers. If you only complement the pretty girl at the front desk..its wrong. If you notice someones new haircut and comment it looks nice its fine. Its not hard and fast its very grey.
-
you made a comment about his being dressed up, looking sharp and it seems to have been straight forward without any type of innuendo etc.
to be sexual harrassment, there needs to be a victim and if the guy didn't get offended, you're good. i cannot see anyone reasonable would see this as sexual harrassment, nor do i think your HR dept would consider it harrassment.
but what is kosher to you, may be over the line for someone else but I cannot even see you being close to any line. i find your office mate to have more than a couple of issues if she thinks your compliment constitutes harrassment! her comment is plain silly!
-
Girls at my work (more like women) like to joke around with me and ask me to change the Water in the cooler cause im "buffed". I gave a co worker an apple and she told others that when she was talking to her husband about fasting for ramadan that she did eant an apple she got from some buff guy at work. I feel uncomfortable yes, and the girls all laugh like Im cool with it but deep inside i know that I can not get away with making off hand comments like..oh yeah you dont need to squat, your ass is fine! So i guess the biggest prob is that it is not a two way street. But when has it ever ?
-
I would say the two different bosses I had that grabbed my boobs committed sexual harrassment :P
-
assbags!! >:( Did you sue?
lol no. These weren't really "corporate" settings. One was at a food place I worked at and the other was an office setting but at a small company w/4 people in the office. I punched the food place guy and the other one did it when his wife was in the room (she didn't see it)! I just glared at him and he knew he was in trouble. And get this. When he did it, I was in front of my computer, but my eyes were closed because I was PRAYING at the time!
-
lol no. These weren't really "corporate" settings. One was at a food place I worked at and the other was an office setting but at a small company w/4 people in the office. I punched the food place guy and the other one did it when his wife was in the room (she didn't see it)! I just glared at him and he knew he was in trouble. And get this. When he did it, I was in front of my computer, but my eyes were closed because I was PRAYING at the time!
It always happens at the smaller "non-corpie" places... >:( Mine did too.
-
I punched the food place guy
I'm so proud of you :) Sorry that it happened though.
And it doesn't ound like sexual harrassment to me Deedee, I think the other woman has some issues to work out. You can always ask the guy if you made him uncomfortable and ask for an honest answer so you know.
-
I think I'll take a nap and think about it
-
This morning I passed by an older guy at work who was all dressed up...crisp shirt, tie, jacket and he looked really good. So I said "you look really nice today," knowing he wouldn't take it the wrong way. But then one of the women who overheard told me that constituted sexual harrassment as per company policy. I was floored and thought that was so nothing compared with some of the harrassment women endure and put up with... some of the stories I've heard from my girlfriends are absolutely shocking.
Two of mine, not so bad:
Getting hauled into the old, trollish president's office (three weeks after his wife passed away and he was having 6 martini lunches every day) and him telling me he heard I worked out, so I should take off my clothes and show him. ::)
Hugged and squeezed by an older co-worker and told "I love all my girls" when we were both working late one night and no one else was around. (btw: he ended up having a one night fling with the office lunatic who ended up leaving him 80 voice mails and stalking him outside the office.)
Is telling someone they look nice, really sexual harrassment? :-\
Absolutely not. There are two types of sexual harassment: quid pro quo (have sex with me or you're fired) and hostile work environment (inappropriate and unwelcome comments, touching, etc.). Telling someone they look nice is certainly not inappropriate at all. That's ridiculous. The other two examples you cited are textbook hostile environment sexual harassment.
-
This morning I passed by an older guy at work who was all dressed up...crisp shirt, tie, jacket and he looked really good. So I said "you look really nice today," knowing he wouldn't take it the wrong way. But then one of the women who overheard told me that constituted sexual harrassment as per company policy. I was floored and thought that was so nothing compared with some of the harrassment women endure and put up with... some of the stories I've heard from my girlfriends are absolutely shocking.
Two of mine, not so bad:
Getting hauled into the old, trollish president's office (three weeks after his wife passed away and he was having 6 martini lunches every day) and him telling me he heard I worked out, so I should take off my clothes and show him. ::)
Hugged and squeezed by an older co-worker and told "I love all my girls" when we were both working late one night and no one else was around. (btw: he ended up having a one night fling with the office lunatic who ended up leaving him 80 voice mails and stalking him outside the office.)
Is telling someone they look nice, really sexual harrassment? :-\
Absolutely not, Deedee. As long as you do not flirt with him or word it in any way that he could take as being "hit on". Never the less do yourself a huge favour and just go to work to work, save the play for later. What you did was completely harmless but in today's day and age, you never know what people will do to get rich quick.
I once had a co-worker grab my ass every single time we met up at the fax machine that was hidden in the corner of the office. She was married and about 40 years old and looked great. Of course I never complained (hey, I only was 23 and all I had on my mind were women, sex and more women). ;D
Just be carefull there Deedee. You never know. I see nothing wrong with a sincere compliment. But sometimes compliments are taken the wrong way.
PB
-
Girls at my work (more like women) like to joke around with me and ask me to change the Water in the cooler cause im "buffed". I gave a co worker an apple and she told others that when she was talking to her husband about fasting for ramadan that she did eant an apple she got from some buff guy at work. I feel uncomfortable yes, and the girls all laugh like Im cool with it but deep inside i know that I can not get away with making off hand comments like..oh yeah you dont need to squat, your ass is fine! So i guess the biggest prob is that it is not a two way street. But when has it ever ?
Very good point there. Well said.
PB
-
This morning I passed by an older guy at work who was all dressed up...crisp shirt, tie, jacket and he looked really good. So I said "you look really nice today," knowing he wouldn't take it the wrong way. But then one of the women who overheard told me that constituted sexual harrassment as per company policy. I was floored and thought that was so nothing compared with some of the harrassment women endure and put up with... some of the stories I've heard from my girlfriends are absolutely shocking.
Two of mine, not so bad:
Getting hauled into the old, trollish president's office (three weeks after his wife passed away and he was having 6 martini lunches every day) and him telling me he heard I worked out, so I should take off my clothes and show him. ::)
Hugged and squeezed by an older co-worker and told "I love all my girls" when we were both working late one night and no one else was around. (btw: he ended up having a one night fling with the office lunatic who ended up leaving him 80 voice mails and stalking him outside the office.)
Is telling someone they look nice, really sexual harrassment? :-\
Love button, you were'nt twirling your hair and licking seductivley on a lollipop at the time were you? :) :-*
-
Love button, you were'nt twirling your hair and licking seductivley on a lollipop at the time were you? :) :-*
Uh oh. Are you him Sugar Lips ??? :-X
Just kidding. Today I'm doing the school marmie look, high collared, starched to death white blouse. :)
-
BTW STella and Deedee, I plan to open a small office and need some girls to come and work for me. I thought of you 2 first! ;D
Okay you know this is a joke right? ;D
-
Absolutely not. There are two types of sexual harassment: quid pro quo (have sex with me or you're fired) and hostile work environment (inappropriate and unwelcome comments, touching, etc.). Telling someone they look nice is certainly not inappropriate at all. That's ridiculous. The other two examples you cited are textbook hostile environment sexual harassment.
I know, but I asked HR about it today. They said that to avoid grey area-ish complaints, and misunderstandings, the employees are encouraged not to make any personal comments to each other. How depressing that it's gotten to that point. :'(
-
BTW STella and Deedee, I plan to open a small office and need some girls to come and work for me. I thought of you 2 first! ;D
Okay you know this is a joke right? ;D
The actuall joke is you giving up the cushy stay at home life to get back in the office...:)
-
Uh oh. Are you him Sugar Lips ??? :-X
Just kidding. Today I'm doing the school marmie look, high collared, starched to death white blouse. :)
School marmie? LOL.
Actually your question is a good one and I think it was answered before. Unless it's flagrant as I was purposely displaying in my post, it really is about how the comment effects the person it was towards.
True story from way back, I was being hit on by a female coworker who was promoted to manager. I never looked at her in a sexual way, was very happy at the time with the first wife and simply was going through life with blinders on at the time when it came to other women. Anyway, she got more and more obvious and I began to find her irritating and uncomfortable to be around. It came to the point where I realized that the shoe was on the other foot and I was being harrassed. Perhaps if I did not have my head so far up my first wife's ass at the time I would have seen, thought or acted differently, but the situation was what it was and that is how I felt.
-
I know, but I asked HR about it today. They said that to avoid grey area-ish complaints, and misunderstandings, the employees are encouraged not to make any personal comments to each other. How depressing that it's gotten to that point. :'(
Maybe "You don't look like crap today" would be acceptable to HR?
...........but I guess to be safe you'd have to state it in a monotone...like a robot
-
True story from way back, I was being hit on by a female coworker who was promoted to manager. I never looked at her in a sexual way, was very happy at the time with the first wife and simply was going through life with blinders on at the time when it came to other women. Anyway, she got more and more obvious and I began to find her irritating and uncomfortable to be around. It came to the point where I realized that the shoe was on the other foot and I was being harrassed. Perhaps if I did not have my head so far up my first wife's ass at the time I would have seen, thought or acted differently, but the situation was what it was and that is how I felt.
Well, it can soooooo blow up in your face. The "I love all my girls" guy I was talking about, married with two kids, finally got the office luney tunes/hoe into bed. (She told me the next day it lasted all of three minutes and then he was gone.) He didn't want anything else to do with her and like the proverbial woman scorned, she proceeded to leave 80 voicemails over the weekend. The following week she got his address and started hanging out in his neighborhood. Then she wouldn't leave him alone at work. She eventually was fired and when they did some digging found out that she had pulled the same scenario at her last place of employment. The company lawyer got involved and I was the key witness because the luney tunes sat next to me and confided in me all the time. He got sent away to some outreach post in Druckessville.
-
she proceeded to leave 80 voicemails over the weekend. The following week she got his address and started hanging out in his neighborhood. Then she wouldn't leave him alone at work.
reeee! reeee! reeee! :o
-
;D
Just trying to share and relate in a positive aspect "jerk" :'(
ROFLMAO ;D
-
Just trying to share and relate in a positive aspect "jerk" :'(
ROFLMAO ;D
;D
-
I worked for a company where a guy was reprimanded for a statement he made on the elevator. I got called in because I was on the elevator. The guy complimented a woman on the elevator by saying, "your sundress is very pretty." He then said "I loved sunny days." I got pulled in because they wanted to know how he said it, and if he was making eye-contact with her. I told HR that I could understand how the lady could have taken the "I love sunny days" comment the way she did, and honestly said that he would looking up when he made the comment and that she had her back to him. I did not like being in that situation. :-\ It was like i was put in the middle of a "he said, she said." He was mad at me for telling the truth, and she was mad at me because she thought I was covering for him.
I worked in the IT department for a furniture company a few years back, and I've NEVER witnesssed so much harrassment in my life. My boss put me upstairs with the merchandising department where the buyers worked. The vendors were often upstairs to visit the buyers. Here's some of the comments I overheard/witnessed:
"Kiss my ass!" (Celeste was famous for hiking up her skirt/dress or slapping her butt if she had slacks on)
"Who's a girl gotta sleep with to get stuff done around here?" (I never got used to Celeste asking this question)
"I have a cure for that sore throat of yours"
"Can I have a piece or your candy?"
"Your chest is looking impressive today. You been working out, girl?"
"My wife's afraid of my one-eyed monster"
"Give me a good deal and I'll sit on your face" (heard her say this often)
VP of Merchandising to a vendor "Cut us a deal and I'll have one my girls take care of you."
Needless to say, I was NOT comfortable working up there. :o
-
I worked for a company where a guy was reprimanded for a statement he made on the elevator. I got called in because I was on the elevator. The guy complimented a woman on the elevator by saying, "your sundress is very pretty." He then said "I loved sunny days." I got pulled in because they wanted to know how he said it, and if he was making eye-contact with her. I told HR that I could understand how the lady could have taken the "I love sunny days" comment the way she did, and honestly said that he would looking up when he made the comment and that she had her back to him. I did not like being in that situation. :-\ It was like i was put in the middle of a "he said, she said." He was mad at me for telling the truth, and she was mad at me because she thought I was covering for him.
I worked in the IT department for a furniture company a few years back, and I've NEVER witnesssed so much harrassment in my life. My boss put me upstairs with the merchandising department where the buyers worked. The vendors were often upstairs to visit the buyers. Here's some of the comments I overheard/witnessed:
"Kiss my ass!" (Celeste was famous for hiking up her skirt/dress or slapping her butt if she had slacks on)
"Who's a girl gotta sleep with to get stuff done around here?" (I never got used to Celeste asking this question)
"I have a cure for that sore throat of yours"
"Can I have a piece or your candy?"
"Your chest is looking impressive today. You been working out, girl?"
"My wife's afraid of my one-eyed monster"
"Give me a good deal and I'll sit on your face" (heard her say this often)
VP of Merchandising to a vendor "Cut us a deal and I'll have one my girls take care of you."
Needless to say, I was NOT comfortable working up there. :o
See now this is the twist of life. I think at this point I would have a blast working with Celeste ;)
-
See now this is the twist of life. I think at this point I would have a blast working with Celeste ;)
She had a sense of humor, I'll give her that much.
-
She had a sense of humor, I'll give her that much.
"Give me a good deal and I'll sit on your face" (heard her say this often)
That is priceless material dude. ;D
-
"My wife's afraid of my one-eyed monster"
lol!
-
I don't think what DeeDee did was harassment, unfortunately it can be such a subjective thing, because it has to do not ONLY with what is said, ...but also how it is perceived and how it makes the other person feel. And we all know men are NOTORIOUS for misinterpreting friendly cordial behaviour from women to mean 'she wants me'.
If it is specifically written in the HR policy at her workplace, and it makes him feel uncomfortable and he complains about it, Deedee could land in hot water. Hopefully sanity will prevail.
Sexual harassment also does not require contact, the desire to have sex or to imply such either. It can simply be unwanted or hostile attention focussing on a person's gender. ie: When furious over someone's incompetence, losing it and screaming that "your f-ing problem is your bra size is bigger than your IQ." is a definite no-no and is considered sexual harassment even if said from one woman to another and only in the presence of other women, it's still sexual harassment. :-X
Comments designed to demean or humiliate a person based on their gender is also considered sexual harrassment as well.
Then too are the idiots who just go too far. Try playing a prostitute on a film set with a bunch of horny IATSE crew members and a set full of meisner trained actors. ::)
Usually the crews are pretty professional and try to keep it to themselves, ...but sometimes the actors can be just craaaaaazy!.
Bottom line however is, sexual harassment exists in all shapes and forms, and it plays both ways.
The key is developing a good enough relationship with the other person so that comments, jokes, etc., are not misinterpreted, and boundaries are not crossed, ...and knowing when to leave well enough alone
I think pretty much none of us can be considered completely innocent when it comes to sexual harassment either intentionally or unintentionally at some point or other, ...but few of us are guilty.
-
I like sexual harassment.
j/k
But I like joking and letting loose with the people you work with. but usually you have 1 or 2 goody 2 shoes who you know don't like it when they leave the office it's game on, haha.
Sad that people always want to hunt someone down, if someone says NO it means NO and that's it. But some people need to acknowledge that they are uncomfortable in certain situations "come on guys, get serious" easy as that, then grab a boob ;)
-
I feel fine complimenting someone on how they look. I don't whistle or cat call them. I simply say that they look nice today or that the new hairstyle is nice etc. If people call sexual harrasment then whatever. You should be able to ecpress a niectywithout having to get hauled into HR.
-
One would think, ...unfortunately a few rotten apples have used 'common niceties' to demean, humiliate and make others feel uncomfortable. It's that ambiguity that makes it safer to simply avoid the whole situation to begin with. I suspect the draconian policies against simple niceties are more for the benefit of the HR departments who'd prefer not to get entangled in these potential messes, so they put them in their policies.
-
If I didn't know you and you worked with me in the place work place and said that to me, I would give you the harsh look ever. Then turn around and tell you never to talk to me. I'm cold like that.
-
One would think, ...unfortunately a few rotten apples have used 'common niceties' to demean, humiliate and make others feel uncomfortable. It's that ambiguity that makes it safer to simply avoid the whole situation to begin with. I suspect the draconian policies against simple niceties are more for the benefit of the HR departments who'd prefer not to get entangled in these potential messes, so they put them in their policies.
Apparently at our place that's exactly the case. I've been getting all the dish on how wild it used to be... considering how homogenous it is when I look around, seems I definitely missed all that. >:(
-
where i used to work, it was never a big deal. UNless you crossed the line and did something really bad. most everyone always hung out together and were pretty close. So between our little circle alot was permitted. People are too dang sensitive
-
where i used to work, it was never a big deal. UNless you crossed the line and did something really bad. most everyone always hung out together and were pretty close. So between our little circle alot was permitted. People are too dang sensitive
Well in our case it's a bunch of neurotic, need a lot of stimulation, creative people. They tend to run amok without strict rules. Remember what I said about Prague? ;)
-
Well in our case it's a bunch of neurotic, need a lot of stimulation, creative people. They tend to run amok without strict rules. Remember what I said about Prague? ;)
yup i do remember. I had afemale boss that was a party girl. She salways looked nice (dressed well for her body type, etc). She was enhanced and had no issues letting people know. Anyway we would always talk about stupid crap and one night she took off her shirt showed me her boobs and gave me lap dances. Gave other guiys dances too. She also showed me her cookie. damn i miss that job sometimes
-
Just out of curiosity... what job was that, and how come you quit?
-
Just out of curiosity... what job was that, and how come you quit?
it was at a tech company. I was let go for sexual harrasment :-\
just kidding, the company downsized and restructured
-
This morning I passed by an older guy at work who was all dressed up...crisp shirt, tie, jacket and he looked really good. So I said "you look really nice today," knowing he wouldn't take it the wrong way. But then one of the women who overheard told me that constituted sexual harrassment as per company policy. I was floored and thought that was so nothing compared with some of the harrassment women endure and put up with... some of the stories I've heard from my girlfriends are absolutely shocking.
Two of mine, not so bad:
Getting hauled into the old, trollish president's office (three weeks after his wife passed away and he was having 6 martini lunches every day) and him telling me he heard I worked out, so I should take off my clothes and show him. ::)
Hugged and squeezed by an older co-worker and told "I love all my girls" when we were both working late one night and no one else was around. (btw: he ended up having a one night fling with the office lunatic who ended up leaving him 80 voice mails and stalking him outside the office.)
Is telling someone they look nice, really sexual harrassment? :-\
Actually I just had to take a "Harrassment" class at work and no that does not constitute sexual harrassment. Now maybe if you said "you fill out those trousers pretty nice Joe" THAT would, but telling someone they look really nice today does not. There is a difference between a general compliment and sexually charged comment.
The other two situations you described (well 3 with the fling) do.
-
Not getting to jump the bones of all the pretty girls I work with all day!
-
Not getting to jump the bones of all the pretty girls I work with all day!
Lol, we all have our burden to bear. :)
-
Lol, we all have our burden to bear. :)
insomnia?
-
insomnia?
Lol, I'm in Europa. It's a bright new shining day here. :)
-
Lol, I'm in Europa. It's a bright new shining day here. :)
On vacation? if you are, then mail your laptop back home and have fun.
-
On vacation? if you are, then mail your laptop back home and have fun.
Sadly not on vacation... if I were I wouldn't be here. But what about you? How come you're not in jammies curled under the covers?
-
Sadly not on vacation... if I were I wouldn't be here. But what about you? How come you're not in jammies curled under the covers?
insomnia . . . i am actually in bed . . . good thing is I don't have to be up until 0815 tomorrow.
-
insomnia . . . i am actually in bed . . . good thing is I don't have to be up until 0815 tomorrow.
Well if you hurry, depending on thine time zone, you can still get between 3-6 hours of blissful dreaming in. Wish that's what I was doing. :'(