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Getbig Main Boards => General Topics => Topic started by: ieffinhatecardio on October 05, 2006, 09:47:16 AM
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The bathroom I use for bowel movements at home is more akin to a reading room than an actual place to deposit human waste. I have it filled with all my magazines, Car and Driver, PC Mag, PC World, Muscle & Fitness, Men's Health, Entrepreneur and two others that I've forgotten the names of. I even bring my girlfriend's magazines in there when I've exhausted my current reading material. In Style makes for excellent bathroom reading, I especially enjoy the celebrity homes they show each month.
Anyway, I can get lost in there for 30 minutes without even trying, one of my legs usually falls asleep at least twice a week. My significant other by contrast is in and out, it literally takes her 2 minutes or less to be completely done and out of the bathroom.
I ask her all the time why she doesn't take more time and enjoy it but she just shakes her head and says that's not what the bathroom is for.
With all the serious threads on this board lately I thought a little levity would lighten things up a bit.
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yup, the bthroom is a speacial place to relax, read and take care of your business. No shit concnerning all the serious threads. Tired of reading about terrorsts and deviant ppoliticians
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My bathroom is a special place too. :) It's the one place in my house where the kids cannot bother me. In fact, they're not even allowed to knock on the door when I'm in there.
When we bought our house the toilet in our bathroom was built for a 180 pound toothpick. Way too small. Very uncomfortable. My wife and kids fixed that for me on Father's Day. They made me leave the house for hours. When I returned they placed a homemade crown on my head and led me to the bathroom where a king-sized toilet had been installed and a big sign over the toilet said "Daddy's Throne." Gets me choked up just thinking about it. ;D
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My bathroom is a special place too. :) It's the one place in my house where the kids cannot bother me. In fact, they're not even allowed to knock on the door when I'm in there.
When we bought our house the toilet in our bathroom was built for a 180 pound toothpick. Way too small. Very uncomfortable. My wife and kids fixed that for me on Father's Day. They made me leave the house for hours. When I returned they placed a homemade crown on my head and led me to the bathroom where a king-sized toilet had been installed and a big sign over the toilet said "Daddy's Throne." Gets me choked up just thinking about it. ;D
LOL, now that is a heartwarming story. Your family must love you quite a bit to give you such a special gift. ;D
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LOL, now that is a heartwarming story. Your family must love you quite a bit to give you such a special gift. ;D
True, true. ;D I put that toilet up there with my hammock, hammock chair, big screen, and weights as my most cherished earthly possessions.
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that is the most touching and beautiful gift you could get
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Does anyone else spread there ass cheeks apart as they sit down on the toilet? I told someone I did this and they acted like I was a psycho.
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Does anyone else spread there ass cheeks apart as they sit down on the toilet? I told someone I did this and they acted like I was a psycho.
Depends on how lean I am but yes, when I'm not dieting I do that. It makes clean up that much easier.
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With all the serious threads on this board lately I thought a little levity would lighten things up a bit.
God bless you effin :)
When we bought our house the toilet in our bathroom was built for a 180 pound toothpick. Way too small. Very uncomfortable. My wife and kids fixed that for me on Father's Day. They made me leave the house for hours. When I returned they placed a homemade crown on my head and led me to the bathroom where a king-sized toilet had been installed and a big sign over the toilet said "Daddy's Throne." Gets me choked up just thinking about it. ;D
LOL!
Does anyone else spread there ass cheeks apart as they sit down on the toilet? I told someone I did this and they acted like I was a psycho.
Most people on this board realize that women neither fart nor poop, but if I did, yes, the ass-cheek spread would have merit.
I ask her all the time why she doesn't take more time and enjoy it but she just shakes her head and says that's not what the bathroom is for.
It seems that the actual evacuation for men may take a long period of time. Maybe men in their daily routine decide, "Now is time to defecate" even though it's not a pressing situation in the form of a turtle head or anything like that. So he squeezes out a turd here, reads for 5 minutes and out comes another turd and so on and so on. Perhaps for women it's more of a situation where she waits until she definitely has to go, and then the entire product shoots out at lightening speed. The only time taken is in careful wiping until no more poop is seen on the toilet paper. Perhaps this is why only men get skid marks. :)
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Does anyone else spread there ass cheeks apart as they sit down on the toilet? I told someone I did this and they acted like I was a psycho.
yes!!! i was wondering that same thing
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lol stella. u kill me sometimes
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OK, do you guys do this?
My friend kept plugging up my toilet when he would poop at my house. I told him to flush as it was coming out so later he could successfully flush again when more came out.
He looked kind of sad and said, "But I like to see how much it amounts to in total."
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Stella,
We only sit when we poo. It is an occasion deserving a ceremony.
Women sit for both. I think that is what leads to lesse faire attitude about it.
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Stella,
We only sit when we poo. It is an occasion deserving a ceremony.
Women sit for both. I think that is what leads to lesse faire attitude about it.
lol.....thanks this DOES explain a lot :)
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God bless you effin :)
LOL!
Most people on this board realize that women neither fart nor poop, but if I did, yes, the ass-cheek spread would have merit.
It seems that the actual evacuation for men may take a long period of time. Maybe men in their daily routine decide, "Now is time to defecate" even though it's not a pressing situation in the form of a turtle head or anything like that. So he squeezes out a turd here, reads for 5 minutes and out comes another turd and so on and so on. Perhaps for women it's more of a situation where she waits until she definitely has to go, and then the entire product shoots out at lightening speed. The only time taken is in careful wiping until no more poop is seen on the toilet paper. Perhaps this is why only men get skid marks. :)
That is almost copied verbatim from what she tells me. I find it sad really, you women don't realize the joy you're missing out on.
Oh, always wipe until you see no more and then wipe with tp that has been moistened and then do one final wipe with dry tp. No skid marks here.
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dry,wet, dry is the way to go
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or until you bleed
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i always wipe my ass then smell the toilet paper to make sure i'm healthy
true story
of course we look in the bowl
just in case we shit something important out, like a kidney or some other organ
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How can anyone not appreciate taking a serious dump? It beats me. The first thing I taught my son was the importance of having ample reading material in the can.
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i always wipe my ass then smell the toilet paper to make sure i'm healthy
true story
of course we look in the bowl
just in case we shit something important out, like a kidney or some other organ
lol....no need to do abs at the gym ;D
OK Slippy, so you sniff the toilet paper to make sure you're healthy....
can you give us a breakdown of health levels and the difference in smells?
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To my experience women are fucking bathroom hogs.
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Anyway, I can get lost in there for 30 minutes without even trying, one of my legs usually falls asleep at least twice a week.
1/2 an hour? That is pathetic; not something to actually admit. Sounds like a real party to be around. :-\
My wife and kids fixed that for me on Father's Day. They made me leave the house for hours. When I returned they placed a homemade crown on my head and led me to the bathroom where a king-sized toilet had been installed and a big sign over the toilet said "Daddy's Throne." Gets me choked up just thinking about it.
Good thing to be known for. ::)
i always wipe my ass then smell the toilet paper to make sure i'm healthy
true story
of course we look in the bowl
Really enjoying the bouquet-he doesn't even realize he's got a thing for scat. TMI :-X
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ever pooped out worms?
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Ah, the 3 times a day I get to sit on the toilet are the most relaxing. Again you must have reading material or a TV in the bathroom (13 inch screen) if ESPN Sportscenter or NFL Network Total Access is on. And I go like clock work, about 9:30 am, 2:00 pm and 8:00pm everynight. A must though is to have COTTONELLE Wipes or the Costco Kirkland Wipes to make sure no crap is stuck on your ass. Dry toilet paper just don't clean as well. I wouldn't just wipe my hands with a paper towel after I used the bathroom, so why just use dry toilet paper? Gotta at least get a decent "wet wash".
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This could be the coolest thread ever!!! I have taken many a 30 minute dump. I ONLY read when im on the pot with little or no exception( sorry Stella! ;)) Some of my best moments of clairity come into being while pinching a loaf. My wife often gets pissed at me and yells "for Gods sake dont be all day"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D
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the bathroom is a sacred place
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Ever posted on getbig while poopin?
Ever posted on getbig while poopin worms?
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Regularly talk on the phone while taking a dump.
Has anyone tried 'polishing the bishop' while having a dump?....strange mixture of sensations, not unpleasant though.
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ever pooped out worms?
no. have you BB?
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Tad watches me at work. ::)
While you poop?
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poor pup ;D
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lol. when i had my dog there were times he would watch me pee. kinda freaked me out, lol
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lol. when i had my dog there were times he would watch me pee. kinda freaked me out, lol
Dog was probably laughing inside cause the only time you "whip it out" is when you pee! ;D
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Dog was probably laughing inside cause the only time you "whip it out" is when you pee! ;D
well unlike you i dont eat my pets. JERK! lol
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well unlike you i dont eat my pets. JERK! lol
Hey, nothing wrong with fattening up your food before you kill it. ;D
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lol. that's so worng. funny but wrong
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For some odd reason dog love the smell of poop
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Never pooped worms, funny thing is i can make a perfect mental image of what it would look like (can you?)...thanks television.
How could you jack it while poopin? I generally have wee to evacuate at the same time and that requires 'teh tuck'