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Getbig Womens Area => Open Talk for Girl Discussion => Topic started by: Cap on January 21, 2007, 04:21:12 PM



Title: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 21, 2007, 04:21:12 PM
Let me preface this by saying this is an ongoing discussion between me and my gf.  We are both convinced of our points but I want to hear some other opinions/reasons why one of us or both may be right/wrong.  I think that 99% of guys aren't friends with girls just to be their friends.  They either want more or just want someone to bitch too, with the former being the main reason.  Any thoughts?


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: diamond on January 21, 2007, 04:31:09 PM
I personally have more male friends than female. But I dont know their reasons for why they're my friends...could be anything I guess...


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 21, 2007, 04:36:36 PM
I personally have more male friends than female. But I dont know their reasons for why they're my friends...could be anything I guess...
See I hear more and more girls say that and it's wierd to me. 


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 21, 2007, 04:46:10 PM
See I hear more and more girls say that and it's wierd to me. 

Why is it weird? It's great to be friends with someone of the opposite sex because you get to be someone totally different than you are with your same sex friends. Opposite sex friends often have a different way of looking at things which is interesting and intriguing. Plus, you get all kinds of insight into the mindset of the OS, which admittedly, can be frightening. The way it usually works is... you start out as friends, then eventually after a few months, he comes on to you, which is usually awkward, then you say no, I thought we were just friends, and then after more awkwardness, he either gets furious and frustrated and cuts the friendship... or you move on and stay friends. Those are usually the best friendships.

ps.  Don't you like getting away from all the pwnings and gayer than convos occasionally and coming up here to talk to us?  :D


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 21, 2007, 04:55:19 PM
Why is it weird? It's great to be friends with someone of the opposite sex because you get to be someone totally different than you are with your same sex friends. Opposite sex friends often have a different way of looking at things which is interesting and intriguing. Plus, you get all kinds of insight into the mindset of the OS, which admittedly, can be frightening. The way it usually works is... you start out as friends, then eventually after a few months, he comes on to you, which is usually awkward, then you say no, I thought we were just friends, and then after more awkwardness, he either gets furious and frustrated and cuts the friendship... or you move on and stay friends. Those are usually the best friendships.

ps.  Don't you like getting away from all the pwnings and gayer than convos occasionally and coming up here to talk to us?  :D
Oh Deedee, you know I come here just for you.  ;D Jk.  I like it.  I thinks it definitely not something girls think about but just from personal experience and knowing other guys, it rarely is just ever a friendship in our minds.  I have two good friends who are girls and one is someone I've know since age 6 and the other helped me through a rough time so I trust her.  I explained it like this to my gf.  I told her to think of the guys she considered friends and think about their looks, how they acted with her (one was a pity date for his prom because he got blown off) and I told her that they all at some point were attractive and because she didn't reciprocate (whether knowingly or not) they just were like "okay, I've already hung out with her enough, maybe I'll just stick around even though I won't get some" and like I told her, they used her as someone to bitch to about other girls.  I think it is a general rule, not a scientific fact or anything.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 21, 2007, 05:11:12 PM
Lol, come on, admit it, it's comfy up here on the girl board.  ;D

I think you pretty much said it the way it is. Childhood friends are ALWAYS friends, and the other ones usually end up with him "trying to get some," eventually, but finally settling for being friends. It's also great to have a "work husband." Someone at work who is like your soulmate and you're like glue from 9-5... causing everyone to think there's something going on but there isn't.  Usually you're just talking about who's getting fat, or bitching about the losers, and then at the end of the day, you go home to whoever...  :)  Unfortunately, sometimes the whoevers at home, get jealous.  :-\


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: GET_BIGGER on January 21, 2007, 05:17:53 PM
I hvae more female friends than male.  I attribute this to being raised my a single mother and plainly being more comfortable around them I guess.  I view them as my sisters, protective.  There are some that I could not be in a relationship due to the friendship, it would be wierd.  Some of them I walk around in my boxer briefs getting dressed say as I am getting ready.....and vice versa, it means nothing to us.  Pure friendship and would be wierd to think of htem any other way.  Lots of benefits to having female friends, scores big brownie points with their frineds that they introduce you too.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 21, 2007, 05:18:34 PM
Lol, come on, admit it, it's comfy up here on the girl board.  ;D

I think you pretty much said it the way it is. Childhood friends are ALWAYS friends, and the other ones usually end up with him "trying to get some," eventually, but finally settling for being friends. It's also great to have a "work husband." Someone at work who is like your soulmate and you're like glue from 9-5... causing everyone to think there's something going on but there isn't.  Usually you're just talking about who's getting fat, or bitching about the losers, and then at the end of the day, you go home to whoever...  :)  Unfortunately, sometimes the whoevers at home, get jealous.  :-\
"If you look at another guy I'll kill ya"

"He gets so jealous" (smiling)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 21, 2007, 05:53:16 PM
"If you look at another guy I'll kill ya"

"He gets so jealous" (smiling)

Yes... it's so nice to feel so wanted.  :)

Quote
Lots of benefits to having female friends, scores big brownie points with their frineds that they introduce you too.

For some reason, this seems to be a benefit for the guys. Usually works too!


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 21, 2007, 05:56:27 PM
Yes... it's so nice to feel so wanted.  :)

For some reason, this seems to be a benefit for the guys. Usually works too!

It's Italian love, what can I say? ;D

I do like your board Deedee. It is a nice change.  *secretly plans to leave his gf to nail Deedee*

Honestly though, I do like your board.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 21, 2007, 06:10:07 PM
It's Italian love, what can I say? ;D

I do like your board Deedee. It is a nice change.  *secretly plans to leave his gf to nail Deedee*

Honestly though, I do like your board.

Yes, I'm familiar with Italian Love... the 3x inflated pectorals that look like they're going to burst, the death stare... makes you feel sorry for the other guy.  ;)

We like having you here.  :)  You always come up with such controversial subjects to discuss.

Don't think I've ever been nailed.  :P 


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 21, 2007, 06:12:35 PM
Yes, I'm familiar with Italian Love... the 3x inflated pectorals that look like they're going to burst, the death stare... makes you feel sorry for the other guy.  ;) Especially when he's knocked out or running scared

We like having you here.  :)  You always come up with such controversial subjects to discuss.  If it's not controversial, it's not worth mentioning.  ;D

Don't think I've ever been nailed.  :P  Sorry, I meant passionately made love to  ;D
  :)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: ToxicAvenger on January 21, 2007, 06:14:54 PM
Let me preface this by saying this is an ongoing discussion between me and my gf.  We are both convinced of our points but I want to hear some other opinions/reasons why one of us or both may be right/wrong.  I think that 99% of guys aren't friends with girls just to be their friends.  They either want more or just want someone to bitch too, with the former being the main reason.  Any thoughts?

both of yall r right...

i've had ..nah..hell with the long stories..

both yall r right..


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 21, 2007, 06:44:24 PM
Quote
Especially when he's knocked out or running scared.

If it's not controversial, it's not worth mentioning. 

Sorry, I meant passionately made love to 

And another Friday night ends with:  "Why did you have to do that? He was nobody." "Just get in the car."  :P

That's another Italian trait.  ;)

Bettah!!! 


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 21, 2007, 07:05:28 PM
And another Friday night ends with:  "Why did you have to do that? He was nobody." "Just get in the car."  :P

That's another Italian trait.  ;)

Bettah!!! 
"He's just a friend."  "Not any more"

OH MY GAWD DEEDEE!!! I LUV HEEM BUT TIMES HE'S JUST SO JEALOUS. OH MY GAWD.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: az on January 22, 2007, 04:08:00 PM
a guys version of a female friend is a woman he hasn't slept with.....yet



Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: ToxicAvenger on January 22, 2007, 04:49:02 PM
a guys version of a female friend is a woman he dosen't wanna sleep with



fixed!


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: diamond on January 22, 2007, 04:52:05 PM
See I hear more and more girls say that and it's wierd to me. 

Why is it weird?

I just tend to get on with guys better...less hassle, can handle honesty etc. And as much as I love my friends that are female...I do have more friends that are guys, and usually spend more time with them. However, ya cant beat a night out with the girls sometimes...


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 22, 2007, 05:02:00 PM
Why is it weird?

I just tend to get on with guys better...less hassle, can handle honesty etc. And as much as I love my friends that are female...I do have more friends that are guys, and usually spend more time with them. However, ya cant beat a night out with the girls sometimes...
It's just wierd to me, it always has been.  I think it's a change from years past to where more girls hang out with guys. Like I said to Deedee.  Girls find it harmless to have guy friends but if a girls bf all of a sudden had a real close gf, I guarantee she would suspect something more than platonic.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: diamond on January 23, 2007, 02:45:38 AM
It's just wierd to me, it always has been.  I think it's a change from years past to where more girls hang out with guys. Like I said to Deedee.  Girls find it harmless to have guy friends but if a girls bf all of a sudden had a real close gf, I guarantee she would suspect something more than platonic.

But most of the time its not 'all of a sudden', I've known my friends for years and with the majority of them could never imagine things ever going any further. They are more like my brothers, really protective over me and look out for me etc.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: gtbro1 on January 23, 2007, 02:51:26 AM
 Any girl that I am friends with,is just a girl that I was trying to f**k,and f**ked it  up somewhere along the way...Now I am stuck being friends. :-\ This is the case with 95% of guys...The other 5 % are liars or are gay..

                                           Hope that clears it up for you.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: gtbro1 on January 23, 2007, 02:53:07 AM
But most of the time its not 'all of a sudden', I've known my friends for years and with the majority of them could never imagine things ever going any further. They are more like my brothers, really protective over me and look out for me etc.


They want to get in your pants.That is a fact. Maybe they don't think about it anymore...but given the chance they would gladly do it...Unless they are gay.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: diamond on January 23, 2007, 03:07:58 AM

They want to get in your pants.That is a fact. Maybe they don't think about it anymore...but given the chance they would gladly do it...Unless they are gay.

Maybe at the beginning but now I highly doubt it...


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: gtbro1 on January 23, 2007, 03:17:38 AM
Maybe at the beginning but now I highly doubt it...


Offer it to them and you will see. :)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: diamond on January 23, 2007, 03:31:09 AM
No...I refuse to believe it lol  ;D


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on January 23, 2007, 05:07:11 AM
Its all good unless the guy really likes the girl and wants to date her romantically. If thats the case, guys don't want to hear the "lets be friends" line. When romantic interests are at stake, it will only lead to heart break and disaster and for a guy that will be pretty painfull. The thing is guys will not admit it. If thats the case the guy would rather move on and not see the girl again. In a guys perspective, "plationic friends" is a no no when he likes the girl romantically.

PB


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 23, 2007, 03:07:04 PM
Laughing out loud.


I tried that once, it was the funniest thing, the guy was like my best friend and I'd known him and respected him for ages and then he crosses the line and makes the obvious come on line. 


(I'd seen this before with workmates etc.  Wanna talk to me about sexual workcases?  anyways...

by that time (I was 25, I'd figured it out, so I says ok come on then...

the guy ran a mile.  T'was funny.  I'm sorry.  I'm sure he still worries about that stupid thing he did.

I once had a bloke I thought was a great mate say: oh but I get urges.  Our friendship went downhill after that.  I tried to set him up with a friend but that went nowhere.


Bottom line:  I wouldn't like it at all and I'd be properly complaining if I didn't turn everyone on.


xxx

I mean, I don't think men can have women as "friends"  unless you're gay (they are my best friends).   There are only so many times you can watch a guy adjusting his frontal pants and realise he's getting a hardon.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Laura Lee on January 24, 2007, 03:20:22 AM
I dated a guy who didn't want me having any male friends...he said girls cannot have guy friends because the guy is always thinking about how he can get into the girls pants...regardless of the girl just wanting friendship.

Mind you...he had a couple female friends.  With that said to me I then asked him if he was always thinking about getting in "his" female friends pants.  He said "no, I'm different".  ROFLMAO  Idiot.  ::)

Anyway, my thoughts are some people do only want a friendship from the opposite sex and usually the "mate" can pick up on whether or not his/her significant other is looking for more.

I also don't believe in maintaining a "friendship" with an ex for a couple reasons.  More than likely you're separated for good reason and secondly you have spent "intimate" time together and the new person in your life will always be uncomfortable with that scenario.  And before someone jumps on the Father/Mother of a child friendship...9 times out of 10...they only speak because of the child...not because they want to.  Most people who "divorce" would rather not ever see their ex-spouse ever again, lol.  ;)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 24, 2007, 08:21:22 AM
Like I've said....unless it is a long time friend, like through family, it's shady to me.  I guarantee that most guys wanna get some and are attracted.  I can admit to it and it shows me that its true because I don't talk to girls who were "friends" from the past.  It just shows you that the friendship never really existed.  I can say this for guys I called "friends" too.  When they are out of sight, out of mind and you choose not to contact them then the friendship was never really that strong.  Guys really have no real reason to have a "girl" friend unless they want someone to bitch too.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 24, 2007, 11:10:57 AM
Its all good unless the guy really likes the girl and wants to date her romantically. If thats the case, guys don't want to hear the "lets be friends" line.

PB


That's my point and perhaps the point of this thread...  what do you do if you're a fairly attractive (like 7 or 8 or 9 out of 10) kinda girl and you have to work in a world in which men only look at your tits?






I read this today:  "for most men, the most beautiful thing they'll ever ever see is a naked woman"


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Al-Gebra on January 25, 2007, 07:27:25 PM

That's my point and perhaps the point of this thread...  what do you do if you're a fairly attractive (like 7 or 8 or 9 out of 10) kinda girl and you have to work in a world in which men only look at your tits?






flaunt them.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Bast000 on January 25, 2007, 07:42:41 PM
I hvae more female friends than male.  I attribute this to being raised my a single mother and plainly being more comfortable around them I guess.  I view them as my sisters, protective.  There are some that I could not be in a relationship due to the friendship, it would be wierd.  Some of them I walk around in my boxer briefs getting dressed say as I am getting ready.....and vice versa, it means nothing to us.  Pure friendship and would be wierd to think of htem any other way.  Lots of benefits to having female friends, scores big brownie points with their frineds that they introduce you too.

what do you do with them, shopping, pillow fights?


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Bast000 on January 25, 2007, 07:45:50 PM

I read this today:  "for most men, the most beautiful thing they'll ever ever see is a naked woman"

your point?  what's the most beautiful thing you've seen?


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on January 26, 2007, 07:48:38 AM
what do you do with them, shopping, pillow fights?
One thing is for sure. If I had a romantic interest in a woman and she just wanted to be friends, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to hear about how she dated some guy and slept with him, etc, etc. And I sure as hell wouldn't want my lady parading around town with "guy friends". I think its disrespectful to your signifigant other. Remember, its all good till the shoe is on the other foot.

PB


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 26, 2007, 07:54:01 AM
And I sure as hell wouldn't want my lady parading around town with "guy friends". I think its disrespectful to your signifigant other. Remember, its all good till the shoe is on the other foot.

PB
Hell ya.  That's my point exactly.  I guarantee my girl would flip.  I have turned down many social gatherings with members of the OS, who were acquaintances out of respect but women see us not accepting their "male friends" as just jealousy. 

TONY!! HE'S JUSTAFRIEND!! DON BEANASSHOLE!! OH MY GAWD!!  WHADDAYAMEAN YO HANGIN OUT WITH HEA??  HEEEEELLLLLLL NO!!!!


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 26, 2007, 01:33:40 PM
flaunt them.



that's my other point. 


I can't.  i dress down, so as not to turn men on.  It's too upsetting.

xL



I can't wear lipstick or mascara, it's scary.


Ali:  the night I got drunk in the pub and "pulled" Paul, I was filthy dirty from the gardening job, wearing a purple overall.  Granted, I'd taken off the top half & tied the arms around my waist,
but look, I wasn't planning on looking sexy.  Ouch.


Bottom line, end of the day, basically: 
men cannot be "just friends" with nice looking women.

xL


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: gtbro1 on January 26, 2007, 02:12:20 PM

that's my other point. 


I can't.  i dress down, so as not to turn men on.  It's too upsetting.

xL



I can't wear lipstick or mascara, it's scary.


Ali:  the night I got drunk in the pub and "pulled" Paul, I was filthy dirty from the gardening job, wearing a purple overall.  Granted, I'd taken off the top half & tied the arms around my waist,
but look, I wasn't planning on looking sexy.  Ouch.


Bottom line, end of the day, basically: 
men cannot be "just friends" with nice looking women.

xL

 
    We can be "FUCK Buddies" with females. :)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 26, 2007, 02:17:38 PM
 
    We can be "f**k Buddies" with females. :)


you've lost the plot.  what if we only f**k with gorgeous men (I need to keep my eyes open).

but we have to put up with the rest of you (the other 99%) being like you are?

xL


ps: I imagine your fuck buddy is married to your best friend?
only kidding.  whatever...


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: gtbro1 on January 26, 2007, 02:43:23 PM

you've lost the plot.  what if we only wanna f**k nice hot men

and we have to put up with the rest of you (the other 99%) being like you are?


kiss your f**k buddy big time
xL

           majority rules.
       


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 26, 2007, 03:27:21 PM
           majority rules.
       



again, my point exactly.  What do you do if you're gonna turn everyone
(like 99%, I've proved that to myself) on?

and then them sad blokes you haveta say no, no, no >thankyou but you're lovely,
I like your sense of humour, you've got a lovely personality to?


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 26, 2007, 03:30:32 PM

Offer it to them and you will see. :)


did you read my post at the beginning?  i got truly pissed off once with the comeons and said
"alright then...


In your dreams.



I'd like to have male friends, but it's not possible.

But I have a few fab (male, single) neighbours who do understand boundaries.





What's this you're chatting about with the significant other ??

and the brother in law
and the girl next door?







Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: gtbro1 on January 27, 2007, 07:37:44 PM

did you read my post at the beginning?  i got truly pissed off once with the comeons and said
"alright then...


In your dreams.



I'd like to have male friends, but it's not possible.

But I have a few fab (male, single) neighbours who do understand boundaries.





What's this you're chatting about with the significant other ??

and the brother in law
and the girl next door?







 ???
     


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: GoneAway on January 28, 2007, 02:02:25 AM
Sure, they can be friends. Both ways.

What are you and your gf questioning, cap?


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 28, 2007, 06:45:57 AM
your point?  what's the most beautiful thing you've seen?


I think the most wonderful thing I've ever seen was a sunset on the Pacific Ocean with islands and mountains beyond.

I shared it with a friend (yes, a male friend, who was showing me the sights).  Luckily he was married to my fathers new wifes daughter, so he knew boundaries.  He's also in a wheelchair. 
He took me out in his converted sports car, he let me play with the accelerator which is a hand job and made me laugh so much and showed me things only the locals see.  He knew exactly where to park to watch the sunset.  I still talk to him every week.

I've just remembered another (obviously I can't forget some of the gorgeous male bodies and minds I've known, but most of those memories are fleeting.  For sure, the ones that stick with you in technicolour are the ones Mother Nature gives you).

I got up in the morning very early having hardly slept.  We were camping near the ocean.  Everyone else was in their camper vans (you should see Danny's, it's like something out of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, when he pneumatically disembarks).  Anyways, they'd put me in a tent, so I'm up first.  The beach - it was all purple and orange starfish.  I'm the only one that saw it. 

Then that night, being unable to get back in the tent, I went out on a converted fishing boat with some guy I met at the bar.  He said Don't fall off, eh?  but he wouldn't have known if I had. 

It was the moon and the phosphorescence.  That was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.  I stayed up all night sitting on the back of the boat while he sat at the front with his bottle of scotch.  He turned off the engine and I just looked at the ocean for 6 hours.  He gave me a piece of rope to play with "the little critters" with.  Awesome, as they say.

I tried to get in touch with him, after I flew home, to say thankyou, but my letter was returned. 
Not sure quite why, perhaps he was busy, maybe he'd moved or I didn't have the right address...
c/o a bar?  oh well, i tried to say thanks (and sorry...

My stepmother was disgusting to him when I showed back up at camp in the morning.  We'd brought 6 cups of takeaway black hot coffee and she screamed get off this campsite.  My Dad was still in bed so he didn't intervene.  So I went back out for more "putting about" as the ex-fisherman called it.  He'd offered to take the whole family out for a trip (and Danny could've made it into the boat, he's agile), but the mad stepmother blew it for everyone.  I figure she was pissed off at me because I was the tourist and she'd never seen the phosphorescence.  I didn't have a camera with me but it's imprinted on my brain.  It was like a million times brighter than the stars.


Anyway, my point is that I find it extremely difficult to have male friends.  It's bad enough to have most women jealous of you.  & I'm nice, happy-go-lucky and fun.  I'm no threat.  I kinda understand other people's reactions, but I find them ridiculous.  I blame women, they should be able to tell who is a friend and who is not.  Men, well they just get turned on.  Not their fault and I'm sure that's the way it's supposed to be.

xL


maybe it would have been different had I married (or if I had bothered with a steady bf). 
Men (and women?) would then treat me differently, I guess...





Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 28, 2007, 08:17:40 AM
Sure, they can be friends. Both ways.

What are you and your gf questioning, cap?
Okay, so this was just a random conversation that comes up every time they mention it in movies or if one of us gets a random call from people in HS of the opposite sex.  If I get a call or an  AIM from a girl she questions it and vice versa.  We know its nothing but I like busting her balls about it and she plays along.  I joke with her because she was "friends" with alot of guys and by normal standards they are pretty ugly so I joke that they stayed around her all the time because they were hoping for a shot (which I believe) because why would a guy spend all his time talking to a girl.  I'm sorry, that's wierd.  One guy, who's the biggest douche I've ever heard of, got dumped and ditched for prom so she was a pity date for him.  She said that afterward he wanted to take her to the after party and she kept saying no and he kept forcing the issue.  I told her it was cuz he wanted to get her drunk and try and hook up.  I know I'm right on that one cuz he is a fag.  Any other questions.  I can honestly say that aside from 2 girls, there are none that I kept around without even thinking I was going to hook up with them.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 28, 2007, 11:20:03 AM
Okay, so this was just a random conversation that comes up every time they mention it in movies or if one of us gets a random call from people in HS of the opposite sex.  If I get a call or an  AIM from a girl she questions it and vice versa.  We know its nothing but I like busting her balls about it and she plays along.  I joke with her because she was "friends" with alot of guys and by normal standards they are pretty ugly so I joke that they stayed around her all the time because they were hoping for a shot (which I believe) because why would a guy spend all his time talking to a girl.  I'm sorry, that's wierd.  One guy, who's the biggest douche I've ever heard of, got dumped and ditched for prom so she was a pity date for him.  She said that afterward he wanted to take her to the after party and she kept saying no and he kept forcing the issue.  I told her it was cuz he wanted to get her drunk and try and hook up.  I know I'm right on that one cuz he is a fag.  Any other questions.  I can honestly say that aside from 2 girls, there are none that I kept around without even thinking I was going to hook up with them.


precisely.  exactly.  I wouldn't keep a straight male "friend" around unless I knew he really really meant it.  It's the ones who give up you feel more sorry for. 

The ones I truly respect are those that know they can't have you but are prepared to pay $100's just to watch you...  enjoy your dinner.  I've always known how far to go and when to back off because they're wanking too much.  I used to pick my nose and or snort if they asked what I was having for dessert or whether I wanted Champage.  (That was only my bosses (the men I worked full-time for, 9-5, that I allowed to buy me a meal, by the way. 

The rest would think you owed them if they bought you lunch.



but you've got a nice gf cap so you're not all over the place googling every woman you see.


what's HS and AIM?


xL


men can only be friends from afar.  Fortunately for me and unfortunately for everyone else, I turn men on.  (one boss once said okay you can have the steak rare if you promise not to leave with the wine waiter).  Very funny...

But I've still got two very old straight male friends left whom I've forgiven for crossing the line.  Both understand that I only have sex with younger boys, most of whom can't speak English.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 28, 2007, 12:51:33 PM
HS=high school
AIM=AOL Instant Messenger

Ya, I have her so I don't oogle other women, no need to.  Lol


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 28, 2007, 12:54:24 PM
HS=high school
AIM=AOL Instant Messenger

Ya, I have her so I don't oogle other women, no need to.  Lol


so all you need to figure is the way you look at (and treat) everyone else, especially women.


I think it's healthy if you point out to whoever you're with (when and if you ever see or meet or turn down anyone who's worthy), "waaa  take a look at that". 

It's normal.




as for how men ought to treat single women when they're (the men that is), either married, engaged, my wife's expecting or have two or 3 children, well that's another paragraph.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on January 28, 2007, 01:09:50 PM
A long time ago, men used to ask you what your father did for a living.

Nowadays, the first question is:  Do you live alone?





Like I'm gonna make friends with someone who sounds like the local burglar...

modify:  I'm not triple posting, I'm just having a fit about this subject. 
you still don't understand do you?



Here's my serial killer theory (again?)   
:even the nicest guy in the world has to turn back into a nice guy 

(if he's a serial killer and is planning on taking you home.









Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: GoneAway on January 28, 2007, 07:12:21 PM
Okay, so this was just a random conversation that comes up every time they mention it in movies or if one of us gets a random call from people in HS of the opposite sex.  If I get a call or an  AIM from a girl she questions it and vice versa.  We know its nothing but I like busting her balls about it and she plays along.  I joke with her because she was "friends" with alot of guys and by normal standards they are pretty ugly so I joke that they stayed around her all the time because they were hoping for a shot (which I believe) because why would a guy spend all his time talking to a girl.  I'm sorry, that's wierd.  One guy, who's the biggest douche I've ever heard of, got dumped and ditched for prom so she was a pity date for him.  She said that afterward he wanted to take her to the after party and she kept saying no and he kept forcing the issue.  I told her it was cuz he wanted to get her drunk and try and hook up.  I know I'm right on that one cuz he is a fag.  Any other questions.  I can honestly say that aside from 2 girls, there are none that I kept around without even thinking I was going to hook up with them.

Sounds like you're both a bit insecure about your relationship, even though you play it off as a joke. Or could be that you're SO secure that it's a joke. I'm betting #1.

Anyway, it's easier for me to be friends with a woman if she's ugly. I've had hot female friends and wanted to sleep with every one of them. But I had one ugly friend and didn't feel the need to at all and we became the closest emotionally out of any female friend I've had. I guess it's easier if you don't desire them physically, because you only have the emotional side to work with, rather than trying to play both fields.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 28, 2007, 07:26:10 PM
Sounds like you're both a bit insecure about your relationship, even though you play it off as a joke. Or could be that you're SO secure that it's a joke. I'm betting #1.

Anyway, it's easier for me to be friends with a woman if she's ugly. I've had hot female friends and wanted to sleep with every one of them. But I had one ugly friend and didn't feel the need to at all and we became the closest emotionally out of any female friend I've had. I guess it's easier if you don't desire them physically, because you only have the emotional side to work with, rather than trying to play both fields.
For me its a mix of both with 1 being the primary.  I'm not trusting of her "guy" friends, I know the type.  Lets put it this way.  I looked at pictures and said, "he's like this, he's like that, etc".  I'm that good at sizing people up.  I just don't think it's good on either side unless there has been an established friendship for years and there is no chance of cheating.  But hey, that's just one white man's opinion.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: gtbro1 on January 28, 2007, 09:23:17 PM
For me its a mix of both with 1 being the primary.  I'm not trusting of her "guy" friends, I know the type.  Lets put it this way.  I looked at pictures and said, "he's like this, he's like that, etc".  I'm that good at sizing people up.  I just don't think it's good on either side unless there has been an established friendship for years and there is no chance of cheating.  But hey, that's just one white man's opinion.

   I know one thing...my girl is not going to be running around with any guy "friends". I would not disrespect her like that and would not stand for her disrespecting me that way. I do have a couple of friends that are female...but BOTH are chics that I have dated in the past and it didn't quite work out.But when either of us are dating someone else,the friendships sorta goes on hold,I guess you would call it...No guy or girl would appreciate an ex calling or emailing someone they are involved with...so I don't/they don't.




                        P.S. The two females I am refering to are still my "friend" by their choice... but they both know if they offer the booty I'LL take it. ;D  (just like most any guy)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 28, 2007, 09:30:41 PM
Lol...I don't keep in contact with ex's.  I think the past is the past and they should be left there.  You hit the nail on the head.  It's disrepectful on both sides.  I'm not gonna toot my own horn but I attract attention here and there and she knows it and I think I flirt sometimes not knowing it so I don't communicate much with women unless I really need to.  When we first started dating alot of the females at my work (who were good looking) all knew me and would always stop and say hi and if she were there she would get mad and my buddy would tease her about it.  One day he told her that between female customers and coworkers that there was like 30 chicks who knew me by name and would make a point to say hi.  Needless to say that got her pissed.  She knows I wouldn't do shit.  My point has always been that I don't trust the guys, not her.  A guy will do anything to get laid.  Point made by my prom example.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on January 28, 2007, 10:45:18 PM
I have no problems being "friends" with a girl... HOWEVER, that being said... If the opportunity to bang one of my "friends" was to happen....

I'd jump on that ship like it was a cruise to the caribbean...

I might not make any moves and I might not do anything but listen to them talk about whatever... But sometimes, if you have an after work function or something like that, you need a cohort and you don't want to take your "bro".

I can deal with the just friend thing... no big... but like Chris Rock said... If I'm a platonic friend, I'm a dick in a glass case.

In case of sex emergency... "Break Glass".


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: gtbro1 on January 28, 2007, 10:46:31 PM
I have no problems being "friends" with a girl... HOWEVER, that being said... If the opportunity to bang one of my "friends" was to happen....

I'd jump on that ship like it was a cruise to the caribbean...

I might not make any moves and I might not do anything but listen to them talk about whatever... But sometimes, if you have an after work function or something like that, you need a cohort and you don't want to take your "bro".

I can deal with the just friend thing... no big... but like Chris Rock said... If I'm a platonic friend, I'm a dick in a glass case.

In case of sex emergency... "Break Glass".


HAHAHAHA MY POINT EXACTLY!!

 Anything a guy does for a female friend is just a subtle way of offering them some dick.


"Let me get the door for you...(How bout some dick?)"

"Sure,I'll drop that in the mail for you..(How 'bout some dick?)"


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: GoneAway on January 29, 2007, 05:01:37 AM
I agree with you cap. Most guys can't be trusted. Especially teenagers - young adults. I wouldn't restrict my wife/gf to who she can and can't see, but that's just me. I also wouldn't want to be restricted myself, as I feel guys and girls can be friends without sex involved. It's just not that easy. :)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 29, 2007, 07:25:59 AM
I agree with you cap. Most guys can't be trusted. Especially teenagers - young adults. I wouldn't restrict my wife/gf to who she can and can't see, but that's just me. I also wouldn't want to be restricted myself, as I feel guys and girls can be friends without sex involved. It's just not that easy. :)
I don't want to restrict her behavior.  I just let it be known how I feel but I think the fact that I dated alot more than her in high school she would find it wierd if all those girls still called me all the time.  It would look like I was screwing around on her.  You know?


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: GoneAway on January 29, 2007, 07:36:49 AM
I don't want to restrict her behavior.  I just let it be known how I feel but I think the fact that I dated alot more than her in high school she would find it wierd if all those girls still called me all the time.  It would look like I was screwing around on her.  You know?

Sure, but a simple "No, I'm not screwing around" should be enough. If she still doesn't believe you, she should (and probably does) say it. Honesty and trust are very important in a relationship.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 29, 2007, 07:59:23 AM
Sure, but a simple "No, I'm not screwing around" should be enough. If she still doesn't believe you, she should (and probably does) say it. Honesty and trust are very important in a relationship.
Yea, but honestly I think that anyone would think something was up eventually.  Again, not to sound like a cocky ass but try this on for size.  I have some good looking ex's and girls I just hooked up with.  Say they were always calling and my gf eventually met them and she saw that they were attractive, I guarantee you she'd be pissed just like I would to.  It's not only about trust, well ya i guess it is but I think any normal person would not like it after a while.

Johnny Cash was "friends" with June Carter....
Owen Wilson was "friends" with Kate Hudson...
Brad Pitt was "friends" with Angelina Jolie....
add in your personal example


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on January 29, 2007, 09:52:33 AM
Either way you slice it, it is a huge disrespect to your signifigant other. If you are involved with someone, you shouldn't be parading around town with "friends" of the opposite sex. Its just not right. Otherwise, stay single. I wouldn't want my lady going for coffee with other guys just as i'm sure she wouldn't want me going for drinks with other ladies. Its a recipe for disaster.

PB


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 29, 2007, 10:38:38 AM
Either way you slice it, it is a huge disrespect to your signifigant other. If you are involved with someone, you shouldn't be parading around town with "friends" of the opposite sex. Its just not right. Otherwise, stay single. I wouldn't want my lady going for coffee with other guys just as i'm sure she wouldn't want me going for drinks with other ladies. Its a recipe for disaster.

PB
So true, so very true.  I mean if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen but doing these things essentially encourage them.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on January 29, 2007, 11:56:50 AM
Yea, but honestly I think that anyone would think something was up eventually.  Again, not to sound like a cocky ass but try this on for size.  I have some good looking ex's and girls I just hooked up with.  Say they were always calling and my gf eventually met them and she saw that they were attractive, I guarantee you she'd be pissed just like I would to.  It's not only about trust, well ya i guess it is but I think any normal person would not like it after a while.

Johnny Cash was "friends" with June Carter....
Owen Wilson was "friends" with Kate Hudson...
Brad Pitt was "friends" with Angelina Jolie....
add in your personal example

I am "friends" with lots of chicks I know...

:D


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: diamond on January 29, 2007, 03:52:46 PM
Either way you slice it, it is a huge disrespect to your signifigant other. If you are involved with someone, you shouldn't be parading around town with "friends" of the opposite sex. Its just not right. Otherwise, stay single. I wouldn't want my lady going for coffee with other guys just as i'm sure she wouldn't want me going for drinks with other ladies. Its a recipe for disaster.

PB

Now that I don't agree with...if the person I was with didnt trust me to be around my friends, who happen to be of the opposite sex...then whats the point? THAT is a recipe for disaster.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 29, 2007, 04:24:21 PM
Guess some of us are just lucky we have teh male friends who respect us (after they try that one time early on) and prefer to keep the friendship.  When I first left my beloved Canada and moved to another country, my male friends came to see me often.  My roomie didn't want them schnorfing on the couch, so they usually slept in my bed with me. With full on jammies of course. Never really had a problem. Maybe once or twice. But maybe it's different when you've grown up with them. Probably wouldn't have done that with newer friends. But in the meantime, met some great women who were their girlfriends, and vice versa, and somehow everyone always got along okay...


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 29, 2007, 05:28:31 PM
Guess some of us are just lucky we have teh male friends who respect us (after they try that one time early on) and prefer to keep the friendship.  When I first left my beloved Canada and moved to another country, my male friends came to see me often.  My roomie didn't want them schnorfing on the couch, so they usually slept in my bed with me. With full on jammies of course. Never really had a problem. Maybe once or twice. But maybe it's different when you've grown up with them. Probably wouldn't have done that with newer friends. But in the meantime, met some great women who were their girlfriends, and vice versa, and somehow everyone always got along okay...
You're obviously just spreading your wings from dating an Italian guy.  ;D 

"I'll kill him and then kill you."


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 29, 2007, 05:47:25 PM
You're obviously just spreading your wings from dating an Italian guy.  ;D 

"I'll kill him and then kill you."

Noooooo.... that was before!  Are you KIDDING?  I never heard "get in the car" so often before in my life.  ;D

But I heard sweet things much more.  :)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 29, 2007, 05:51:42 PM
Noooooo.... that was before!  Are you KIDDING?  I never heard "get in the car" so often before in my life.  ;D

But I heard sweet things much more.  :)
Hahaha.  Yeah or "let's go now".  Yeah it's true, but there is nothing we wouldn't do for you (being the woman in your life).  I'm sure you already know that. 


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 29, 2007, 06:03:43 PM
Hahaha.  Yeah or "let's go now".  Yeah it's true, but there is nothing we wouldn't do for you (being the woman in your life).  I'm sure you already know that. 

Yes, I know. I'm sure your girlfriend is a lucky girl. 

(But just in case, hope she has good aim with the frying pan, hehehe)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Rich Gainihger on January 29, 2007, 07:06:39 PM
I only have sex with younger boys, most of whom can't speak English.

classy broad.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 29, 2007, 09:23:11 PM
Yes, I know. I'm sure your girlfriend is a lucky girl. 

(But just in case, hope she has good aim with the frying pan, hehehe)
Yea I think we are both lucky.  I believe her weapon of choice is slamming a door or throwing nonmetal objects.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Rich Gainihger on January 29, 2007, 09:31:21 PM
Yea I think we are both lucky.  I believe her weapon of choice is slamming a door or throwing nonmetal objects.

awwww so cute  :-[


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 29, 2007, 09:38:15 PM
awwww so cute  :-[
Haha.  I do believe that but trust me it aint all fun and games. 


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: GoneAway on January 30, 2007, 12:39:29 AM
I'm not talking posing as a friend just to get in her pants. I'm talking real friends, like you have with the same sex. That, I see nothing wrong or disrespectful with.

Just one crazy man's opinion. ;)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on January 30, 2007, 05:02:40 AM
Like I said before, its all good until the shoe is on the other foot.

PB


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Samourai Pizzacat on January 30, 2007, 08:06:00 AM
Why is apparently so hard to have friends of the opposite sex? People here are suggesting that it's disrespectful to have friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship...That's the biggest load of crap I've heard in a long time.

The thing with a good quality relationship is that the friend's features like sexe, looks, race become oblivious. What remains is a character with certain traits, opinons, and qualities that you like and sometimes share. That's what makes a good friendship, it evolves beyond the 'doing stuff together' level. I have a couple of female friends, that I see on a regular basis. None of my exes have found that threatening or disrespectful. On the contrary, not allowing your partner to have friends of the opposite sexe, is paranoid, belitteling and a sign of distrust (which probably reflects your own insecurity).

I suggest some of you better grow up!


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on January 30, 2007, 11:12:30 AM
Why is apparently so hard to have friends of the opposite sex? People here are suggesting that it's disrespectful to have friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship...That's the biggest load of crap I've heard in a long time.

The thing with a good quality relationship is that the friend's features like sexe, looks, race become oblivious. What remains is a character with certain traits, opinons, and qualities that you like and sometimes share. That's what makes a good friendship, it evolves beyond the 'doing stuff together' level. I have a couple of female friends, that I see on a regular basis. None of my exes have found that threatening or disrespectful. On the contrary, not allowing your partner to have friends of the opposite sexe, is paranoid, belitteling and a sign of distrust (which probably reflects your own insecurity).

I suggest some of you better grow up!
And thats strickly you're opinion. I respect yours. Respect mine.

PB


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 30, 2007, 12:22:43 PM
Why is apparently so hard to have friends of the opposite sex? People here are suggesting that it's disrespectful to have friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship...That's the biggest load of crap I've heard in a long time.

The thing with a good quality relationship is that the friend's features like sexe, looks, race become oblivious. What remains is a character with certain traits, opinons, and qualities that you like and sometimes share. That's what makes a good friendship, it evolves beyond the 'doing stuff together' level. I have a couple of female friends, that I see on a regular basis. None of my exes have found that threatening or disrespectful. On the contrary, not allowing your partner to have friends of the opposite sexe, is paranoid, belitteling and a sign of distrust (which probably reflects your own insecurity).

I suggest some of you better grow up!
Without insulting or anything, you really need to see what year you live in.  Divorce is at a high and encouraging OS friendships leads to doom.  But hey, I'll make friends with hot chicks and let my gf know that you said it was okay and even healthy.  There really is no need for friends of the opposite sex.  We are just inundated with the notion that there is and if your partner doesn't approve of it then they are jealous and controlling.  Give me a break.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on January 30, 2007, 12:54:30 PM
Without insulting or anything, you really need to see what year you live in.  Divorce is at a high and encouraging OS friendships leads to doom.  But hey, I'll make friends with hot chicks and let my gf know that you said it was okay and even healthy.  There really is no need for friends of the opposite sex.  We are just inundated with the notion that there is and if your partner doesn't approve of it then they are jealous and controlling.  Give me a break.
Exactly. Great post, cap86. I just cannot see myself going out with women, coming home at 10 or 11pm and my wife/girlfriend/fiancee being alright with that and the same if the tables were turned. Thats the only point I was trying to bring up and I was told to "grow up" for it. LOL.

PB


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Samourai Pizzacat on January 31, 2007, 01:49:24 AM
you guys really don't get it do you?

You are still stuck at the opposite sex part of friendships, as I told before, that should become irrelevant, a friend is a friend.
And it's not about encouraging anything, friendships are just there, regardless of relationships. I'm not talking about chatting up women or something, or actively looking for new friends during a relationship. You just can't drop the ball on your female friends because you have a relationship, sure, you'll spend less time with them (and your other friends) to be with your new partner.


And what's this about 'year we live in, divore, etc'? What kind cynical approach to life is that? man.....


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: GoneAway on January 31, 2007, 04:15:25 AM
^ Seems like Playboy and cap86 are pussy whipped. I mean, come on. The 'disrespectful to partner' stuff is bullshit.

You just can't drop the ball on your female friends because you have a relationship, sure, you'll spend less time with them (and your other friends) to be with your new partner.

Exactly. It's not about suddenly seeing every chick as a danger zone and 'off limits' because you fear you might fuck them... it's about seperating relationships with friendships. Any smart person can do that. Besides, if you're more attracted to someone other than your gf/wife, you seriously have to reassess your relationship and not just label that person as 'a friend that I can't see anymore out of respect.'


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on January 31, 2007, 06:01:37 AM
^ Seems like Playboy and cap86 are pussy whipped. I mean, come on. The 'disrespectful to partner' stuff is bullshit.

Exactly. It's not about suddenly seeing every chick as a danger zone and 'off limits' because you fear you might f**k them... it's about seperating relationships with friendships. Any smart person can do that. Besides, if you're more attracted to someone other than your gf/wife, you seriously have to reassess your relationship and not just label that person as 'a friend that I can't see anymore out of respect.'
Uhhhhhhh I don't think so. But its our opinion. Not everyone sees things your way. If you want to parade around town with other males its your option to do so. Cap86 and I are not calling you names for it.

PB


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 31, 2007, 06:34:59 AM
Uhhhhhhh I don't think so. But its our opinion. Not everyone sees things your way. If you want to parade around town with other males its your option to do so. Cap86 and I are not calling you names for it.

PB

No, but I think you guys are confusing having a friendship with someone and "dating."  There are all different kinds of ways you interact with people, and not necessarily all of them will end up being alone in a car at 11:00 at night. 

Hypothetical: Supposing you are madly in love with your SO but there's only one thing missing.  You love poetry/spoken word and he thinks anyone in a beret should be taken out and summarily shot. You get along in every way but this one.  Is there a harm in meeting an acquaintance/friend of the opposite sex every couple of months to attend a reading etc... and have expresso afterward while you discuss it?  Or what if he's a tennis fiend, and you suck?  He can never have a game with a woman friend or acquaintance if she's the only one he knows who plays at his level? I've had training partners who were guys... if I ever trained with my SO I probably would have murdered him with an ice pick. What if one has specialty interests/passions such as philatelics (or whatever it's called).  Good luck finding someone of your own sex who's interested... are you just supposed to suppress these areas of your life because your  SO is insecure and doesn't want you to "mingle" with people of the opposite sex.  If your SO is so easily distracted by other people that they would fall into bed with anyone that shows interest, personally I'd have to deduce that a) they are worthless and b) I need to be smacked in the kopf for having selected so badly. 


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Migs on January 31, 2007, 07:02:15 AM
i think guys and girls can be friends.  Now if it's after a relationship it gets messy.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Laura Lee on January 31, 2007, 07:16:02 AM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v725/blflammia/Gifs/Fightinwords.jpg)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 31, 2007, 07:30:37 AM
That being said, sometimes platonic friendships do get out of hand...  ;D

http://sfchicken.com/2007/01/love-when-he-slow-plays-it.html







(thnx to buns for this one  ;))


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Lord Humungous on January 31, 2007, 08:19:55 AM
That being said, sometimes platonic friendships do get out of hand...  ;D

http://sfchicken.com/2007/01/love-when-he-slow-plays-it.html







(thnx to buns for this one  ;))

WOW talk about stamina!!


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 31, 2007, 08:40:35 AM
You guys can think whatever you want but if my girlfriend had a lot of "guy" friends calling all the time to say hi and wanted to go get lunch, that would be shady.  If I did the same thing, I think it would be shady.  I am not afraid I would fuck them, I do have self control.  My point is, repeatedly meeting up with a woman/man, even though you might have a partner/spouse, can send the wrong message.  I know girls who I was friends with (three actually, at different times) who did not care that I had a girlfriend and wanted me to pursue something with them.  I know for a fact that the same can be said for a guy who is "friends" with a girl.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on January 31, 2007, 10:58:02 AM
You guys can think whatever you want but if my girlfriend had a lot of "guy" friends calling all the time to say hi and wanted to go get lunch, that would be shady.  If I did the same thing, I think it would be shady.  I am not afraid I would f**k them, I do have self control.  My point is, repeatedly meeting up with a woman/man, even though you might have a partner/spouse, can send the wrong message.  I know girls who I was friends with (three actually, at different times) who did not care that I had a girlfriend and wanted me to pursue something with them.  I know for a fact that the same can be said for a guy who is "friends" with a girl.

It is shady... if you give a crap about that stuff.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 31, 2007, 12:18:15 PM
It is shady... if you give a crap about that stuff.
Hahaha.  Whatever you say Sherlock.....Holmes.  How is that shady?  I have never had a girl really like and accept the fact that I associated with girls other than her.  No girl wants to think she can't fulfill a need for her dude and vice versa.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on January 31, 2007, 12:56:00 PM
Hahaha.  Whatever you say Sherlock.....Holmes.  How is that shady?  I have never had a girl really like and accept the fact that I associated with girls other than her.  No girl wants to think she can't fulfill a need for her dude and vice versa.

Some girls are just soooo unbelievably,  overly confident of themselves, they couldn't imagine their guy wanting any other chicka but them.  :)

btw I know lots of people, and when I freelanced, myself included, who depend a lot on their social circle and friendships of all kinds in order to get clients + business + the monaye to pay the rent.  Cutting out all members of the opposite sex is like chopping off your nose to spite your face. 


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 31, 2007, 01:09:48 PM
Deedee, don't refer to yourself in the third person.   ;D  Take credit.  Lol

I'm not saying people can't be cordial or friendly with the OS, but business and social networks are seperate sphere as far as I'm concerned but you may think differently.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on January 31, 2007, 01:58:07 PM
Hahaha.  Whatever you say Sherlock.....Holmes.  How is that shady?  I have never had a girl really like and accept the fact that I associated with girls other than her.  No girl wants to think she can't fulfill a need for her dude and vice versa.

Oh wow... you used Sherlock and my last name... you must be a genius.

Look, say what you want to say man... It's your life I could care less, but as a HUMAN being... when the temptation is there for days, weeks, months, years... you'll see... I will let your life teach you.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on January 31, 2007, 02:00:08 PM
Some girls are just soooo unbelievably,  overly confident of themselves, they couldn't imagine their guy wanting any other chicka but them.  :)

btw I know lots of people, and when I freelanced, myself included, who depend a lot on their social circle and friendships of all kinds in order to get clients + business + the monaye to pay the rent.  Cutting out all members of the opposite sex is like chopping off your nose to spite your face. 

I never said cutting them out... but there's a huge difference between associates and friends... always remember that.

Oh, and no woman is that confident... they may present it outwardly, but they are always wondering "what if".

Even the most beautiful and successful women (and men) in the world have doubts about their S.O.s at times.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on January 31, 2007, 02:30:32 PM
Oh wow... you used Sherlock and my last name... you must be a genius.

Look, say what you want to say man... It's your life I could care less, but as a HUMAN being... when the temptation is there for days, weeks, months, years... you'll see... I will let your life teach you.
When I am tempted by things....I think about the consequences and stop or take a fat dip of SKOAL.  As for the name thing, I figured a little levity was needed.  I think we are all too serious here.   ;D

Deedee is TOO HAWT TO TRAWT!! 

YEA SHORE....

OH SO YOU WANAFCUKHUH???  *slams the pan full of salsice in his face*


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on January 31, 2007, 02:34:06 PM
When I am tempted by things....I think about the consequences and stop or take a fat dip of SKOAL.  As for the name thing, I figured a little levity was needed.  I think we are all too serious here.   ;D

Deedee is TOO HAWT TO TRAWT!! 

YEA SHORE....

OH SO YOU WANAFCUKHUH???  *slams the pan full of salsice in his face*

Aww nah man... I'm not serious at all... I am just speaking of myself... It's hard for me to turn down hot chicks... REALLY hard.

I can not step away from the hot piece of tail.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on February 01, 2007, 08:34:11 AM
A quote from the London times:

It's Official: Men and Women Can't Be 'Just Good Friends'


LONDON TIMES, May 23 2006


Will they, won't they? We may be in for a tear-jerking final episode of Friends next Friday but the real irony of the show appears to be that men and women can't be platonic friends - backed up by the latest poll by leading women's website, handbag.com

This poll secured the vote of thousands of 25-44 year women, revealed that women are in denial and seem to want it their way when it comes to friendships and sex with men.

While most women (83%) believe they can be 'just good friends', nearly half (45%) admitted that their close male friends are ex-lovers.

What's more, two-thirds (59%) admitted they get jealous of their male friends' friendships with other women and have actively discouraged them from getting closer to a rival woman. In a classic case of the green-eyed monster, one in ten have even deliberately sabotaged their male friend's relationship with another woman - just like Rachel in Friends when Ross made a play for her sister Jill, and again at Ross's wedding to Emily.

A further 38% admitted they hate seeing their male friend get together with one of their girlfriends.

Far from being "friends", handbag's poll revealed that over a third of women (35%) secretly have feelings for their 'mate' but are too scared to tell him for fear of losing the friendship. This may be because women like to keep male friends as a marriage safety-net for the future: nearly half (47%) admit they have a platonic male friend on the "back burner" that they would consider marrying if they didn't find a husband by a certain age.

For those women who are unabashed when it comes to acting on their feelings, nearly a fifth admit to having an ongoing casual sexual relationship with a close male friend when they don't have another partner on the scene. Two-thirds of women say they don't regret sex with their male friends at all and generally get it on with their friends when they're feeling horny (49%) or when they've had an alcohol-fuelled evening (28%).

handbag.com's editor, Debbie Djordjevic says. "As far as male/female relationships go, men have called the shots from way back in history. It's nice to see modern women are finally in control of their sexual and emotional well-being. The point is that the goal posts in any relationship, including friendships can move at any time. Women no longer have to hide behind the label of 'platonic friends' and can learn to be open to whatever suits them best.' Note to editors

The poll was carried at handbag.com from 13/05/04 to 19/05/04. 1811 votes were cast. The full poll results are below:

    1. Do you think men and women can be platonic friends?
    Yes 2074 83.33%
    No 415 16.67%

    2. Have you ever had sex with a close male friend?
    Yes 980 39.37%
    No 1509 60.63%

    3. If 'Yes', did you regret it? (If no go to Q5)
    Yes 375 34.06%
    No 726 65.94%

    4. And if 'Yes', did sex destroy the friendship?
    Yes 238 34.34%
    No 455 65.66%

    5. Do you have an on-going casual sexual relationship with a close male
    friend? (If no go to Q8)
    Yes 435 17.48%
    No 2054 82.52%

    6. If 'Yes' what typically causes you to 'fall into bed' with him?
    Alcohol 132 28.39%
    When I'm feeling lonely and depressed 61 13.12%
    When I'm in between boyfriends 44 9.46%
    When I'm horny and want to have sex 228 49.03%

    7. And if 'Yes', on average, how often do you 'fall into bed' with him?
    Once a week 93 20.26%
    Once a month 161 35.08%
    Once very 6 months 106 23.09%
    Once a year 40 8.71%
    Never 59 12.85%




Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 01, 2007, 10:49:06 AM
A quote from the London times:

It's Official: Men and Women Can't Be 'Just Good Friends'



Playboy these are single people... doesn't really matter what they do with their friends since they aren't hurting anyone.  Not the same thing at all.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Laura Lee on February 01, 2007, 10:59:55 AM
Playboy these are single people... doesn't really matter what they do with their friends since they aren't hurting anyone.  Not the same thing at all.
...and, they only polled women.  What about the men?  Where's their poll?


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Playboy on February 01, 2007, 11:00:40 AM
Playboy these are single people... doesn't really matter what they do with their friends since they aren't hurting anyone.  Not the same thing at all.
Just an interesting article I came across. Thats all.

PB


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 01, 2007, 11:01:42 AM
I never said cutting them out... but there's a huge difference between associates and friends... always remember that.

Oh, and no woman is that confident... they may present it outwardly, but they are always wondering "what if".

Even the most beautiful and successful women (and men) in the world have doubts about their S.O.s at times.

I know you didn't say cutting them out... I think that was Cap.  You're right that there is a big difference between your associates and friendships... but some of us are lucky enough to have friends we also work with.  Maybe that happens more in a creative, collaborative environment rather than business, have no idea.  

Of course everyone feels a pang of jealousy every now and again.  But if you trust and are confident, and choose to be with people who are trustworthy, I think it's kept to a minimum.  


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 01, 2007, 11:06:06 AM
...and, they only polled women.  What about the men?  Where's their poll?

True! Although if you look at the responses on this board, 99.99999999% would probably respond that they'd hit it if their "girl" friends offer.  :-\


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Migs on February 01, 2007, 11:13:26 AM
hey guys are always there to help a girl in need out.  It's chivalry, lol


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on February 01, 2007, 11:42:18 AM
Deedee, I don't know if I said to necessarily cut them out.  Take for instance me and my girl.  We both have a friend of the OS sex that we have know since pretty much birth.  I would never ask her to cut him out of her life and vice versa.  However, if I became friendly with a female coworker and we were considered friends, I don't know any woman who I could date that would be cool with that.  Having a business/work relationship that is reciprocally cordial and nice is one thing but I don't ever plan to hang out with a female coworker unless her signficant other is involved as well or it was in a group setting where I could ignore them.  ;D


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 01, 2007, 12:01:23 PM
When I am tempted by things....I think about the consequences and stop or take a fat dip of SKOAL.  As for the name thing, I figured a little levity was needed.  I think we are all too serious here.   ;D

Deedee is TOO HAWT TO TRAWT!! 

YEA SHORE....

OH SO YOU WANAFCUKHUH???  *slams the pan full of salsice in his face*

Somehow I think it must be so much easier just to enjoy the Staten Island kinda relationship lifestyle.  ;)

........................ ........................ ........................ ......

TONY: (Behind the wheel) You got wid dat Irish dude from work?  Bitch.  Ah KNOW yoo did.  Ah'll kill dat douchebag muthaf*ka.

SOPH (Applying Melon-flavored lipgloss in rearview mirror)  Oh MY GAWD.  Moy sistah told yoo lies. She's soooo JEALUSSS cuz she got a fat ass.... and I got bettah skin... and bettah hea.  Oye HATE HUH!  Tone, TONE, don't drive so FAYST... slow down... wea's moy GUMMM?

TONY: Whaddayoo, an ATARIDEE on driving now.  I wanna know RIGHT NOW, if yoo let him hit it... do I got a HO sittin in my CAWR? Ah'll kill yoo, and dat muthaf*ka.

SOPH: But Tone, wea ENGAGED!  Oye would NEVAH!  He's justta friend. Yoo know I LUVVV YOO TONE.  Weah's moy gum...Oh my Gawd,  Tone, why yoo stoppin HEA?  Get yoo hands outta moy pannies, oh my Gawd... Oh MY GAWD... STAWP!  Yoo MESSIN MOY HEA!!! OH MY GAWD... HOLD MOY GUM... OH TONE... OH BAAAAYBEEEE...



Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Cap on February 01, 2007, 12:12:04 PM
It would honestly make things less complicated...Lol.



Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on February 01, 2007, 12:18:10 PM
If it wasn't complicated I'd feel...





Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Samourai Pizzacat on February 02, 2007, 03:12:17 PM
A quote from the London times:

It's Official: Men and Women Can't Be 'Just Good Friends'


LONDON TIMES, May 23 2006


Will they, won't they? We may be in for a tear-jerking final episode of Friends next Friday but the real irony of the show appears to be that men and women can't be platonic friends - backed up by the latest poll by leading women's website, handbag.com

This poll secured the vote of thousands of 25-44 year women, revealed that women are in denial and seem to want it their way when it comes to friendships and sex with men.

While most women (83%) believe they can be 'just good friends', nearly half (45%) admitted that their close male friends are ex-lovers.

What's more, two-thirds (59%) admitted they get jealous of their male friends' friendships with other women and have actively discouraged them from getting closer to a rival woman. In a classic case of the green-eyed monster, one in ten have even deliberately sabotaged their male friend's relationship with another woman - just like Rachel in Friends when Ross made a play for her sister Jill, and again at Ross's wedding to Emily.

A further 38% admitted they hate seeing their male friend get together with one of their girlfriends.

Far from being "friends", handbag's poll revealed that over a third of women (35%) secretly have feelings for their 'mate' but are too scared to tell him for fear of losing the friendship. This may be because women like to keep male friends as a marriage safety-net for the future: nearly half (47%) admit they have a platonic male friend on the "back burner" that they would consider marrying if they didn't find a husband by a certain age.

For those women who are unabashed when it comes to acting on their feelings, nearly a fifth admit to having an ongoing casual sexual relationship with a close male friend when they don't have another partner on the scene. Two-thirds of women say they don't regret sex with their male friends at all and generally get it on with their friends when they're feeling horny (49%) or when they've had an alcohol-fuelled evening (28%).

handbag.com's editor, Debbie Djordjevic says. "As far as male/female relationships go, men have called the shots from way back in history. It's nice to see modern women are finally in control of their sexual and emotional well-being. The point is that the goal posts in any relationship, including friendships can move at any time. Women no longer have to hide behind the label of 'platonic friends' and can learn to be open to whatever suits them best.' Note to editors

The poll was carried at handbag.com from 13/05/04 to 19/05/04. 1811 votes were cast. The full poll results are below:

    1. Do you think men and women can be platonic friends?
    Yes 2074 83.33%
    No 415 16.67%

    2. Have you ever had sex with a close male friend?
    Yes 980 39.37%
    No 1509 60.63%

    3. If 'Yes', did you regret it? (If no go to Q5)
    Yes 375 34.06%
    No 726 65.94%

    4. And if 'Yes', did sex destroy the friendship?
    Yes 238 34.34%
    No 455 65.66%

    5. Do you have an on-going casual sexual relationship with a close male
    friend? (If no go to Q8)
    Yes 435 17.48%
    No 2054 82.52%

    6. If 'Yes' what typically causes you to 'fall into bed' with him?
    Alcohol 132 28.39%
    When I'm feeling lonely and depressed 61 13.12%
    When I'm in between boyfriends 44 9.46%
    When I'm horny and want to have sex 228 49.03%

    7. And if 'Yes', on average, how often do you 'fall into bed' with him?
    Once a week 93 20.26%
    Once a month 161 35.08%
    Once very 6 months 106 23.09%
    Once a year 40 8.71%
    Never 59 12.85%




This is taken from 'Handbag website', not a scienticially grounded source.
It's a voluntary poll, this always skewes results, it's not a random sample.

And even if we would take these figures as facts, it just concludes that women have or have had sex  with a close male friend.
It does not discuss whether they had a relationship at that time. Further more, for the greatest part the women didn't have sex and think they can be platonic friends.

BTW it's a travesty that the times uses 'cosmo quality' research (and I mean that in a very bad way) and slaps on a hapdash conclusion...pagefiller material....


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 03, 2007, 04:57:03 PM
This is taken from 'Handbag website', not a scienticially grounded source.
It's a voluntary poll, this always skewes results, it's not a random sample.

And even if we would take these figures as facts, it just concludes that women have or have had sex  with a close male friend.


It does not discuss whether they had a relationship at that time. Further more, for the greatest part the women didn't have sex and think they can be platonic friends.

BTW it's a travesty that the times uses 'cosmo quality' research (and I mean that in a very bad way) and slaps on a hapdash conclusion...pagefiller material....

Somehow it just seems rational to have sex with someone you would consider having as a friend... as opposed to the other option.  :)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on February 03, 2007, 05:00:25 PM
Somehow it just seems rational to have sex with someone you would consider having as a friend... as opposed to the other option.  :)

I agree... can we be friends? :D


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 03, 2007, 05:17:14 PM
I agree... can we be friends? :D

How many friends do you currently have?  :D


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on February 03, 2007, 05:20:04 PM
How many friends do you currently have?  :D

If I count myself?

1.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 03, 2007, 05:36:08 PM
If I count myself?

1.

 :'(


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on February 03, 2007, 05:37:20 PM
:'(

No sad faces...

We should test this theory on if we can "just be friends".

;)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 03, 2007, 06:14:24 PM
No sad faces...

We should test this theory on if we can "just be friends".

;)

I've been testing it for some years. Empirical evidence says YES!  :)


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on February 03, 2007, 06:19:00 PM
I've been testing it for some years. Empirical evidence says YES!  :)

I don't believe it!

Stop lying to us all!


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: xxxLinda on February 06, 2007, 01:43:14 PM
i don't believe it either.  perhaps on the internet (I thought), but on this website even that doesn't seem possible.

perhaps you can be mates with ugly fat or old or even your best friends mother, but you (most men that is) cannot look at a good looking woman without giving her a damn good reason to run.



I can't even have ugly fat old blokes for friends, they can't take it.  I've never met a man who didn't come on to me.  Mind you, I love your sense of humour...


xL
i thought that if you couldn't see me that i wouldn't have to see you move your hardon sideways, just over and up a bit so no-one will notice?


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: tu_holmes on February 06, 2007, 01:47:51 PM
i don't believe it either.  perhaps on the internet (I thought), but on this website even that doesn't seem possible.

perhaps you can be mates with ugly fat or old or even your best friends mother, but you (most men that is) cannot look at a good looking woman without giving her a damn good reason to run.



I can't even have ugly fat old blokes for friends, they can't take it.  I've never met a man who didn't come on to me.  Mind you, I love your sense of humour...


xL
i thought that if you couldn't see me that i wouldn't have to see you move your hardon sideways, just over and up a bit so no-one will notice?

Yeah, sorry about that... We can't help the penis... sometimes he just has a mind of his own.

Glad to hear your thoughts on it... We're guys... it's just how it goes... It's unfortunate, but good for the species... it's just nature... We fight it every day to stay on the straight and narrow.

It's just a hard fight, and sometimes, you lose.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Dballn247 on February 06, 2007, 04:09:29 PM
Why is it weird? It's great to be friends with someone of the opposite sex because you get to be someone totally different than you are with your same sex friends. Opposite sex friends often have a different way of looking at things which is interesting and intriguing. Plus, you get all kinds of insight into the mindset of the OS, which admittedly, can be frightening. The way it usually works is... you start out as friends, then eventually after a few months, he comes on to you, which is usually awkward, then you say no, I thought we were just friends, and then after more awkwardness, he either gets furious and frustrated and cuts the friendship... or you move on and stay friends. Those are usually the best friendships.

ps.  Don't you like getting away from all the pwnings and gayer than convos occasionally and coming up here to talk to us?  :D

Funny it's always been the other way with me, my girlfriends always end up wanting to be more than friends.

But it is nice the get the OS's input and perspective.


Title: Re: Guys+girls=friends???
Post by: Deedee on February 06, 2007, 04:20:39 PM
Funny it's always been the other way with me, my girlfriends always end up wanting to be more than friends.

But it is nice the get the OS's input and perspective.

You're like...one of three on this whole board, to say that! But is it because you're willing to be friends, or do they just get to you first?  :)