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Getbig Misc Discussion Boards => The Getbiggers Board - The Lounge => Topic started by: Army of One on March 11, 2016, 11:38:51 AM
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Woke up at 3AM once felt the gurggles in my stomach telling me I needed to get out of bed and go now
Sat on the can expecting a torrent. Nothing. I couldn't even feel anything move at all. Then another round of painful cramps and such. I squeeze and the bottom part isn't fucking budging at all.
I finally realize that although it might be molten liquid shit on the top floor, the exit is completely compacted and blocked off. At this point I have no idea what to do. I am now screaming in pain with every round of cramps and upper bowel movement. I even considered getting some kind of thin device and cramming it in there to break up the stubborn poop party in the lower deck.
After about the 7th round, I feel a slight shift on the bottom. I know you aren't supposed to squeeze but fuck all that nonsense, I was in agony. I am squeezing with all of my might, veins bulging out of my neck and forehead. I know that if this doesn't happen soon, I'm going to pull an Elvis and be found on the can with my eyes rolled into the back of my brain.
Finally a fist-sized piece of shit that was holding up the whole show, shoots out of my ass like Lucifer's Hammer en route to wipe out a whole civilization of Philistines. Immediately after that, is a liquid poo firehose that had so much PSI I'm pretty sure I actually lifted off of the shitter by a few inches. Any harder and I would have been knocked out by hitting my head on the ceiling.
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TL:DR:FY
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(http://i.imgur.com/n08A8NOl.jpg)
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TL:DR:FY
Cliffs:
Cankles
(http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/019/484/n08A8NO.jpg)
Fixed
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Anyone ever hear of the '3x3' rule? More often than 3 movements a day is too fast - less than 3 times a week, too slow...
And we're aiming for 3 or 4 on the chart - stay healthy Getbig!
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9e/BristolStoolChart.png)
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This is a great story. Thanks for sharing. I mean that. :D
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another shitty thread
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TL:DR:FY
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The heart warms.
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Next time have your boyfriend go easier on your ass so you don't have these problems in the future.
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I'm really proud of you!
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Wow, Very heart warming story, a Hallmark moment indeed! ;D
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Someone left your buttplug in overnight and thought the good people of getbig had to know?
Leave the passive-aggressive messages to your boyfriend on your fridge next time.
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That's not Lee Priest...
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Woke up at 3AM once felt the gurggles in my stomach telling me I needed to get out of bed and go now
Sat on the can expecting a torrent. Nothing. I couldn't even feel anything move at all. Then another round of painful cramps and such. I squeeze and the bottom part isn't fucking budging at all.
I finally realize that although it might be molten liquid shit on the top floor, the exit is completely compacted and blocked off. At this point I have no idea what to do. I am now screaming in pain with every round of cramps and upper bowel movement. I even considered getting some kind of thin device and cramming it in there to break up the stubborn poop party in the lower deck.
After about the 7th round, I feel a slight shift on the bottom. I know you aren't supposed to squeeze but fuck all that nonsense, I was in agony. I am squeezing with all of my might, veins bulging out of my neck and forehead. I know that if this doesn't happen soon, I'm going to pull an Elvis and be found on the can with my eyes rolled into the back of my brain.
Finally a fist-sized piece of shit that was holding up the whole show, shoots out of my ass like Lucifer's Hammer en route to wipe out a whole civilization of Philistines. Immediately after that, is a liquid poo firehose that had so much PSI I'm pretty sure I actually lifted off of the shitter by a few inches. Any harder and I would have been knocked out by hitting my head on the ceiling.
You allright?
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beautifully written. I hope things are running smoothly for you now.