I'm not really at that point. I don't think anyone would harm myself or my family, but I do think they would continue to harass me.

It's ironic though, a few of them have said they have a couple simple demands - clarify that I've never used legit Kigs (which I have, a million times), and stop being an advocate of narcotics. I only talk about marijuana, something I don't advocate per se, but something I think gets a lot of unnecessary and unfair flack. My burnout days are long gone, and aside from a puff before the gym I only puff when I get migraine nausea or when my triptans don't work. If I don't puff before the gym, my neck seizes up and I get a tension headache later in the day which progresses and turns into a migraine. So being very well acquainted with it, I get a little upset when people make stoner jokes in the context of using it outside of recreation. There are millions of stupid ass stoners and I wish that there weren't. But it's unfair to people who use it sparingly, responsibly or for an alternative purpose. Somewhere in the mix, I was confused for being a "narcotics supporter" which I don't understand. I hate hard drugs and have lost friends and family to them. That's why I think the stigma needs to be eliminated so people can get the help they need.

I think my tangent might have been too long, but I've got people in real life following me around now in real life. 2 or 3 little fuckers, possibly more. My address and parent's address has been posted on their site. And they're harassing my family too. Got one of those deep breathing phone calls from a blocked number. It's gotten completely out of hand.

Trust me, my right hand was cocked and just about ready to give him an open handed cuff upside the head that would have knocked him square on his ass. Felt like the very first time I got tren rage. I haven't been threatened in real life in the longest time. But after looking around I saw about 3-4 friends who work at the hospital, a lawyer and a whole bunch of other people I've known for years. Violence isn't the answer. People litigate nowadays for looking at them wrong... I haven't been in trouble with the law and want to focus on my schooling and career.... would have given anything to just have one clean hit though.

Shit's not worth it. Came to the boards to get big and ripped and I did. Then I liked it for the entertainment... but now it really doesn't seem worth it. Getting death threats and teenagers chasing me around town in real life. I've never heard of this stuff happening on the internet before.

PM sent.

The kid couldn't have been more than 20. Little guido ass fucker and a really dull looking friend. Also a fat moon-faced fuck was watching the whole thing from a distance too. If they come around the gym again I'll be pissed. I can't believe this shit has spilled into real life. No one is a winner. I'm embarrassed it got to this point and just want to put this behind me.

They started off with some cloak and dagger BS and then worked up the balls to say that they were from the gh15 board and that they're here to deliver a warning. They probably didn't expect me to get in their face and it looks like they probably needed to change their diapers after. They mentioned some names on the board I've never heard of and said they were delivering a message, so I don't know what the hell was going on but I was seeing red. They said more people are going to come after me too.

I'm sure everyone's seen moneyshot's apology thread already. It looks like the losers on gh15's board have extorted him as well. I fired some PMs off to a few mods there and the admin, whom I still consider a friend despite letting my family's photos stay plastered on their site, and I've thought about things for a couple of days. The admin on the gh15 boarding relayed a message, and gh15 has offered to remove the thread about me if I touch base on a few points. Thankfully, I'm planning on moving on with my life already so this will come easy.

I'm searching for the right words because I don't want to apologize for something I'm not sorry for. But I will clear things up, because gh15 is wrong about a few things and it's lead to a lot of fury on his end. Thankfully, our views our aligned on what he's asked so I won't have to bend over backwards and say things that I don't agree with. As I've stated in the past, I have never lied and will never lie, so this will fortunately be easy to clear up. And hopefully he will appreciate it and bury the hatched. He knows that I don't say or do things that I am not comfortable with, but I'm sure that while this is not EXACTLY what he's asked, he will see the authenticity and sincerity of this point and will remove the info about myself and my family.

First off, he's asked for me to acknowledge his stance on narcotics. I would like to clarify mine as I'm sure he will understand and appreciate it. I do not "support" narcotics. Far from it. I do not think they should be scheduled the way they are because their strict prohibition inherently creates societal problems and funds deadly narcotic organizations. We're both on board with hating these organizations, but our views seem to differ in a few small ways.

I believe that narcotics abuse should not addressed by throwing people in prison. I don't know his stance on this specifically, but I believe it should be treated in public health. The current way of dealing with narcotics in general is not working. gh15 is always an energetic individual and he's been very vocal about narcotics, but I believe it should be addressed in a different way. And I believe this, along with my views on marijuana, is what has led to the misunderstanding.

I know many addictions specialists and psychiatrists that deal with alcohol and substance abuse, and I've also seen close friends and family members suffer with substance abuse. Throwing them in the slammer is not the way to address this. The time spent there will only breed hardened criminals. I would MUCH rather these people be rehabilitated and paying taxes, rather than MY taxes paying for their incarceration time or their welfare/social assistance. So while our views are not in alignment, I'm sure any compassionate and focused individual can see that I don't "support narcotics". I support rehabilitating narcotic addicts, as well as not vilifying anyone who does chose to partake, as it should not define them any more than using steroids should define a bodybuilder for instance. Not everyone who uses narcotics is an addict. And in my case, because I used them experimentally, it completely extinguished my desire to use them on a regular basis.

I don't like being "fucked" off hard drugs at all. A little buzz or a little marijuana is as much as I like. I'd much rather think clearly. I've tried a few hard drugs so I could see if they matched up to what I had read in drug books like Davis's Drug Guide or Lippincott's, and it did. But I don't like the feeling of a narcotic-induced euphoria. A lot of drugs like cocaine or opiates will give you euphoria, but usually for a short period of time. Paired with shit like tachycardia, CNS stimulation or suppression, short half-life and a brutal crash/come down... it's just not for me. You become physically dependent on most hard drugs too. So really, these drugs aren't for me. And I don't think others should use these drugs too much because they carry too much of a risk. Read a book. They're no good. And with the physical addiction aspect, they're pretty dangerous to mess around with. I've witnessed my dad's heart stop for almost a minute when he had overdosed on heroin. He was revived and medically lost again on the ambulance ride to the emergency room. He has used drugs on and off his entire life and became brutally addicted to heroin and cocaine after his femur was broken the second time around. So if gh15 does read this, I'm sure he'll understand that I do not support narcotics at all. I only advocate a different approach, one that advocates for addicts and does not vilify them or label them as scoundrels. It can be the battle of someone's life and it's not for us to joke around about or scoff at.

In regards to Kigtropins, I thought I cleared it up many times but he wanted me to make another statement about this. I have not used legit Kigs unfortunately. I never said that I did either, but there is a misunderstanding that hasn't been understood so I'll say it again. I told this to holomorphic after he threatened my family and wished death on my unborn child. I said many times that I confirmed a verified source that carried the amazing/original Kigs and that he transformed. This is true. It was fucking nuts. He competed in South Africa at a shitty show and looked decent, and he's used gear and knows how to train properly. He was untrained for a really long time having immigrated to Canada and just getting settled in, and he and his wife shared 3 kits. My story has never changed and I'm not sure why this is misunderstood. I was only in receipt of bunk kits, and it was infuriating. I megadosed a few kits to see if there was ANYTHING in them and it seemed that a couple kits were nothing, and a couple kits contained a small amount of sugar. I used a blood glucose monitor and didn't know what to make of the results, so I threw the rest out in frustration. I've used legit GH myself, and I've seen other friends use both GH and IGF-1 so I know what those hormones can do when they're legit. I've probably said it a dozen times, but one last time, I haven't used the original wave of overdosed Kigs or whatever they were. I WISH that I did, because I planned on using it when I came off, but I was in receipt of bunk only and haven't had a single unit of exogenous GH in the longest time.

Almost forgot, he mentioned that I should apologize for blaming him for my infertility issue. I was angry at the time, yes, but I don't recall blaming him or anyone else per se. If I did, then I can apologize. But I don't think that I did. I tried blasting and cruising, but after stopping your endogenous test production it's going to take a long time to start it back up again. It was a very difficult time and my marriage was treading thin ice as a result, so maybe I did lash out. Who the fuck wouldn't? Off hormones, just got ripped off for some GH I was hoping would save my physique, then I had some friends die, followed by my sister-in-law and another friend... I started to really think I was cursed for a while, but my body recovered slowly but surely and like any other shitty situation I acknowledged it as "an unexpected learning opportunity". I didn't want to learn those lessons first hand, but I did. And I'm fine now. Shooting pornstar loads all over the place, wife's happy and pregnant, no one I know has died lately and school and work going well.

And on that note, I've learned all that I could over the years. I learned a lot from gh15, and although we began butting heads in the end I believe that I've learned enough from him and everyone else online. I've also tried my best to reciprocate that because I started off as nothing but a skinny Asian nerd, and now I'm a shredded Asian nerd but every bit the same person I always was. I've had fun learning about how to grow my body, shape it and burn off my body fat, but I don't think there's anything else I can learn online. gh15 previously wanted to chase me off the boards all together, but I think he can see that I'm not a threat and that he doesn't really want that. I can see that he does want me to clarify some remarks which he probably feels are damaging. I don't really think I can discredit an idol as big as him, even if I tried with vehemence. I've said that I don't appreciate the temper tantrums, but I'm entitled to think and say what I want. We're different people, so of course we have different views. And I think he does actually appreciate and respect that too, no matter how much it makes him upset initially. He knows me well.

I didn't want to write such a fucking long ass novel of a post, but I feel compelled to jump on this opportunity because him and others have repeatedly demanded that I state this, and that I state that. Well, I don't bend to anyone's whim, BUT, I have already said what they wanted but no one's listened. Check my post history. I've already said it a million times, but I've got half a dozen no-name individuals harassing me. I've received death threats for many of them now. And now I'm getting messages through social media sites, text messages and one person approach me in person. Enough is enough. I'll be going to school full time pretty soon, as well as working more than "full time" hours so I won't be around much longer.

tldr:

Embarrassingly long message clarifying my stance on a few things that have upset gh15 and the hive. If he could stop assply85 and his little mafia dons now, it would be greatly appreciated. I have been sincere, but death threats and wishing death on my unborn child are wayyy out of hand. And if that little fucker bugs me in the gym again, I'm dropping him and sending him to the hospital.

Alien abductions of peace.

I think everyone has. If they haven't, then they're blissfully unaware of how dark the world is. I have depressive realism but I don't focus on the bad stuff, just acknowledge it and do what I can. That's all you can do, so don't dwell on the negative things in life or it will consume you whole.

If anyone's seriously thinking of taking their life by means of suicide, open up to someone. A friend killed himself in December and it rocked my community. His gf killed herself shortly after, and then another couple of kids in town. Fucking rocked my small community. There's almost nothing more tragic than the thought of people living in misery with such a grim outlook. There is always a way out, but people who die by means of suicide think there's no way out. Change that perspective by talking to a friend or loved one. I've talked a few people off the edge myself and it's something life changing. Makes you think hard and deep.

I do NOT want to leave this earth any time soon. Got lots of stress but suicide is never the way out.

I would love to have a heme-iron induced death by a nice, juicy pork shoulder like that.

It wasn't the heme-iron, Johnny. It was the oral steroids, drugs and lifestyle.

He has a puncher's chance just like everyone else... but as much as I hate Jones, he is a rock solid stud and has everything going for him against Chael.

I'm not a religious man but I'll be praying for Chael tonight. I really hope he takes Jones' head off.

Eat clen, tren hard.

Don't take no for an answer.

The fitness and physique categories are a little fruity (I know, ironic...). I like shows that have Classic divisions though. Not ridiculously massive, still decent legs, no guts, great conditioning.

 
Hit the nail on the head. I just don't even talk to pot smokers outside of a small circle of friends and other growers. It can be enjoyed without being flaunted. It's definitely not for everyone, but I'd encourage people to give it a shot and to be objective and open. And don't smoke too much either. A single puff still gets me stoned after a decade of puffing. People think you need to smoke a cannon by yourself, but you'll just get a racing heartbeat and paranoia.

It's not gay enough, but we want it to be.

Holy fuck, that just made my entire day!

There was a study done in Canada that showed that injection test DOES halt sperm production. I'd know. I got mad testing done but obviously recovered, being young, healthy and taking gonadotropins to kick off endogenous production.

Haha no worries. Had to grab your attention.

For some reason I thought you were getting your PhD in medicine. I was thinking of going to school for it but I'm still talking to lots of young doctors and seeing how they like it. Maybe if you help with some giant luxury buildings in Dubai, India you can pull some strings and hook it up, man!

HEY!#@ I asked you a question, mutha fucka!

That's because Asians are happy to hole up the entire family, right down to the distance cousins and obscure people who probably aren't even related by blood, claim Welfare, work under the table and don't pay taxes. They do everything within their power to bring in as much income as possible while spending as little as humanly possible, including what's required by law. Very greasy... seen it a million times though.

BLT of peace.

Bro, Gaspari underdoses their protein. There was a big stink about it. I haven't purchased a tub of Myofusion in years but it was relatively tasty stuff when I did use it. I just have a tub of free protein I use to thicken up smoothies. Forget that noise, man. All those powders are shit, so buy the tastiest and cheapest one if you're going to keep buying it.

Are you still in med school too? If so, how's that going?

I legitimately laughed out loud at that one.

Marine looks good. He can afford to eat a little more and has no risk of putting on adipose tissue. Anyone who's been lean for a long time knows how forgiving a shredded body is. It'll tear right through a few hundred extra calories each day with EASE. Would need to eat a good amount of shit to blur any of his definition. I'm envious. I've dieted down to around the same leanness but I have zero control over my eating right now. My eating is as erratic as a pregnant woman's eating patterns right now.

Two Coke Zeros a day. And.... not sure what other changes. Always on the pudgy side, but knows how to get in shape.