every year for Christmas someone gives me

[Deadpool]

cologne.  I want a full length mirror this year, so I can watch my fat all melt away a pound at a time

[SinCitysmallGUY]

cologne.  I want a full length mirror this year, so I can watch my fat all melt away a pound at a time

People are trying to tell you your fat and that you stink... I would say That if you would wash your fat ass, and quit eating so much cheese someone might give you a checker board or something for christmas... just a suggestion..

[ieffinhatecardio]

cologne.  I want a full length mirror this year, so I can watch my fat all melt away a pound at a time

Cologne is for men, perfume is for woman. Are you a man? Or maybe your gift giving friends just think you're a man.

[Dos Equis]

A sports or fitness-related gift.  Two of my favorites:

- The 8 inch bodybuilding figure in posing trunks my kids gave me several years ago.  I keep it on my office desk. 

- A wall clock shaped like a 25 lb plate that says "Pump Time" from my former secretary.  Haven't put it on the wall yet.   

[Deedee]

Cologne is for men, perfume is for woman. Are you a man? Or maybe your gift giving friends just think you're a man. 

Actually, women wear eau de cologne too... it's simply a less potent form of perfume.  Eau de toilette is even less potent which is why it's usually the least expensive.

[Deedee]

Every year someone gives me a gift card to a store I never shop at.