NICE GUY EDDIE: Okay, everybody cough up green for the little lady.
NICE GUY EDDIE: C'mon, throw in a buck.
MR. PINK: Uh-uh. I don't tip.
NICE GUY EDDIE: Whaddaya mean you don't tip?
MR. PINK: I don't believe in it.
NICE GUY EDDIE: You don't believe in tipping?
MR. WHITE: I love this kid, he's a madman, this guy.
MR. BLONDE: Do you have any idea what these ladies make? They make shit.
MR. PINK: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
NICE GUY EDDIE: I don't even know a Jew who'd have the balls to say that. So let's get this straight. You never ever tip?
MR. PINK: I don't tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, that shit's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doin their job.
MR. BLUE: Our girl was nice.
MR. PINK: Our girl was okay. She didn't do anything special.
MR. BLONDE: What's something special, take ya in the kitchen and suck your dick?
NICE GUY EDDIE: I'd go over twelve percent for that.
MR. PINK: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long fuckin time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.
MR. BLONDE: What if she's too busy?
MR. PINK: The words "too busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.
NICE GUY EDDIE: Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last thing you need is another cup of coffee.
MR. PINK: These ladies aren't starvin to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.
NICE GUY EDDIE: Ahh, now we're getting down to it. It's not just that he's a cheap bastard--
MR. ORANGE: --It is that too--
NICE GUY EDDIE: --It is that too. But it's also he couldn't get a waiter job. You talk like a pissed off dishwasher: "Fuck those girls and their fucking tips."
MR. BLONDE: So you don't care that they're counting on your tip to live?
MR. PINK: Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.