Author Topic: Weakest/Lamest "Tough Guy" Line You Ever Heard/Used (Read 6278 times)

BigIronPete · « **Reply #50 on:** May 23, 2009, 03:43:21 PM »

"I will lick your ass and then smell your shit" - Dahved Mirza

Dballn247 · « **Reply #51 on:** May 23, 2009, 05:50:11 PM »

Quote from: webcke on May 22, 2009, 05:01:41 PM

"I'll fuckin smash you bro"

hahahaha..... Back in college a delusional twink/frat kid I threw out a bar said that to me, right before I punched him in the dicksucker.

webcake · « **Reply #52 on:** May 23, 2009, 05:51:11 PM »

Quote from: Dballn247 on May 23, 2009, 05:50:11 PM

hahahaha..... Back in college a delusional twink/frat kid I threw out a bar said that to me, right before I punched him in the dicksucker.

You just got in a lucky shot.........next time, i will fuckin smash ya bro!

Dballn247 · « **Reply #53 on:** May 23, 2009, 06:01:59 PM »

Quote from: webcke on May 23, 2009, 05:51:11 PM

You just got in a lucky shot.........next time, i will fuckin smash ya bro!

Webke is a man that will fuckin smash ya bro..... no doubt about it.

leonp1981 · « **Reply #54 on:** May 23, 2009, 06:04:11 PM »

Quote from: Ursus on May 22, 2009, 06:49:46 PM

A guy got rejected at a bar i work at.

He said to the doorman "do you know who i am" trying to imply he was connected

The doorman said "no but when you find out let me know"

Sooo funny

I was running a place in Manchester once, when this scruffy kid with gold teeth came up to the door. The doormen turned him away, and he goes "You what? I know ***, you know." (*** being a well-known guy). So before the kid can say anything else, one of the doormen pulled out his phone, dialled ***, said "This lad says he knows you..." and handed the phone to the kid. The poor bastards face went white as a sheet, then he handed the phone back and disappeared sharpish. Apparently *** told the kid that using his name to get in places came at a price.

webcake · « **Reply #55 on:** May 23, 2009, 06:04:20 PM »

Quote from: Dballn247 on May 23, 2009, 06:01:59 PM

Webke is a man that will fuckin smash ya bro..... no doubt about it.

Don't you forget it, punk!

MethodGNA · « **Reply #56 on:** May 23, 2009, 07:15:04 PM »

Quote from: Andy Griffin on May 22, 2009, 06:55:21 PM

Excellent retort.

Actually, one time Gregory Peck and some of his friends were denied entrance to an establishment. As they walked away, one of his associates said, "Why didn't you tell them who you are?" Peck replied, "If you have to tell people who you are, you aren't anybody." Rare to witness that kind of humility.

that is fucking brilliant, if only there were a few of these individuals left in contemporary america.

on a side note...and i, myself, have never used this line...but over the years i have heard countless "tough guys" proclaim something to the extent of ..."keep running your mouth...i'll ASSFUCK you boy".

everytime i hear this i cant help but doubletake and think to myself.."WHAT".

Ursus · « **Reply #57 on:** May 23, 2009, 07:23:43 PM »

haha i heard a class one tonight.

"any more of it, there will be less of it"

LOL its kinda a threat to say if you dont shut up I will beat you senseless.

DeketheCreep · « **Reply #58 on:** May 23, 2009, 07:26:08 PM »

''YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND IM THE LAWN MOWER''

hugestatus · « **Reply #59 on:** May 23, 2009, 09:25:18 PM »

tbombz · « **Reply #60 on:** May 23, 2009, 09:32:39 PM »

about 5-6 years ago i was in boston at fenway park watching a red sox game verse the orioles? (miguel tejada was playing for them at the time).... i was wearing my oakland A's jersey and rooting for the opposing team... i was yelling hella loud and just being a dick... well some dude behind me yelled "shut up you clown go back to oaklans"...and i turned around and just said "shutup fool ill k-k-k-ill you" i stuttered the word "kill".... i felt so dumb after sayign that... but the dude shut up and nobody said anything after that

Stubborn · « **Reply #61 on:** May 23, 2009, 10:21:44 PM »

"You dont wanna tangle ass with me, pal!"

"Oh, you're a tough guy? I bet you're so tough you break dicks off in your ass!"

"Im a TRUE solja! Bring it to me m*****f******!" Last words of the night for a 120lb black guy.

These ones always make me laugh when brought to mind!

body88 · « **Reply #62 on:** May 23, 2009, 11:25:05 PM »

Quote from: Andy Griffin on May 22, 2009, 02:16:39 PM

A friend of mine and I were reminiscing about "the good old days" and he remembered seeing two young fellows getting ready to "throw down" at a bar...one of them warned the other "I'm tough as nails and twice as sharp!!"

When I was in college, I went out boozing with a group of friends and one of the dudes we were with got into with another guy. As both men were talking shit and squaring up, the dude my buddy was about to fight rolled up his sleeve and kissed his bicep. The only problem was that when he was doing this the other dude had already thrown a right hook which landed on this guys right eye socket just as he finished kissing his 14 inch gun. Classic.

Tapeworm · « **Reply #63 on:** May 23, 2009, 11:43:02 PM »

"I'll break my foot off in your ass."

MuscleMcMannus · « **Reply #64 on:** May 24, 2009, 02:46:36 AM »

"I've wiped my ass with toilet paper harder than you."

HTexan · « **Reply #65 on:** May 24, 2009, 03:26:55 AM »

"i'll fuck you until you love me fagg.ot" Mike tyson

Quote from: jtsunami on May 23, 2009, 11:55:03 PM
"you wanna settle this right now, where you live I will come and fuckin knock your house down"

"what did you say?" classic stall technique

Andy Griffin · « **Reply #66 on:** May 24, 2009, 03:30:50 AM »

Oh no you di'n't!! (not pronouncing the second "d" in "did")

swilkins1984 · « **Reply #67 on:** May 24, 2009, 03:41:58 AM »

I can never watch this with a straight face....

Ursus · « **Reply #68 on:** May 24, 2009, 04:14:34 AM »

"I've ate bigger chips"

Andy Griffin · « **Reply #69 on:** May 24, 2009, 07:56:33 AM »

Quote from: HTexan on May 24, 2009, 03:26:55 AM

"what did you say?" classic stall technique

Another classic stall technique is to repeat the insult:

"Oh, so I'm (insert insult)?" ... "I'm (insult) ?" ... "I know you're not saying I'm (insult)" ... until either someone intervenes or one of the would-be combatants backs down.

ManBearPig... · « **Reply #70 on:** May 24, 2009, 08:14:07 AM »

when i was in college, the Chicago Bears had to play down at our stadium in Champaign while Soldier Field was being renovated. anyways, we got tickets for like 12 bucks each so we went to every game. while we were walking back , one of the guys in my group saw a colored fella in a cadillac driving by like our campus was some kind of a South Side ghetto. so he takes a snowball, and nails him right in the face and runs away. the guy turns around, sees another guy in our group that had the same hat, runs out , goes "you about to get fucked, no one fucks with this n.igga". as he shoves the guy, my other friend nails him square in the face. since it was slippery out, it was a cartoon knockout, where his legs flew out underneath him and he fell flat unconscious.

then my white as dust friend who knocked him out goes "i'm the n.igga around here!" (when his co-guy saw what happened he just sat in the car and rolled the windows up).

blacks are animals is the theme of this story.

Method101 · « **Reply #71 on:** May 24, 2009, 08:37:13 AM »

"Il smack the yellow off your teeth"

"Il shuv my boot so far up your ass youl be flossing with my shoelaces"

tommywishbone · « **Reply #72 on:** May 24, 2009, 08:46:28 AM »

Quote from: Tapeworm on May 23, 2009, 11:43:02 PM

"I'll break my foot off in your ass."

No no, I love this one. I'm just not sure if it makes any sense to intentionally break your foot off in some other dude's ass. I mean, you'll be left standing there with only one foot, and dude can then proceed to either beat your ass, or steal your foot. A bummer either way.

Tapeworm · « **Reply #73 on:** May 24, 2009, 09:09:04 AM »

Quote from: tommywishbone on May 24, 2009, 08:46:28 AM

No no, I love this one. I'm just not sure if it makes any sense to intentionally break your foot off in some other dude's ass. I mean, you'll be left standing there with only one foot, and dude can then proceed to either beat your ass, or steal your foot. A bummer either way.

One guy gets left with a stretched anus and the other guy with a stump. And the stump would probably turn gangrenous from the fecal matter.

"Assplay has no place on the battlefield." - Gen. George S. Patton, US Army, ret.

The Wizard of Truth · « **Reply #74 on:** May 24, 2009, 09:12:22 AM »

Quote from: Power Rod on May 24, 2009, 08:14:07 AM

when i was in college, the Chicago Bears had to play down at our stadium in Champaign while Soldier Field was being renovated. anyways, we got tickets for like 12 bucks each so we went to every game. while we were walking back , one of the guys in my group saw a colored fella in a cadillac driving by like our campus was some kind of a South Side ghetto. so he takes a snowball, and nails him right in the face and runs away. the guy turns around, sees another guy in our group that had the same hat, runs out , goes "you about to get fucked, no one fucks with this n.igga". as he shoves the guy, my other friend nails him square in the face. since it was slippery out, it was a cartoon knockout, where his legs flew out underneath him and he fell flat unconscious.

then my white as dust friend who knocked him out goes "i'm the n.igga around here!" (when his co-guy saw what happened he just sat in the car and rolled the windows up).

blacks are animals is the theme of this story.

Hahahahhaha

Author Topic: Weakest/Lamest "Tough Guy" Line You Ever Heard/Used (Read 6278 times)

body88