Go ahead and hate on my abs. They absorb that shit like a shamWow and get even awesomer!
My abs are so hard and shiny, I have to put skateboard grip tape on them to keep my pants up.
Underage girls, The Sun, My Abs. These are things that can be dangerous for you to stare at.
Ghandi went on hunger strikes to have abs like mine. I don't care what bullshit story he came up with.
Sometimes little kids think I'm one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
My abs are so sexy, one morning I awoke to find my penis trying to fuck my bellybutton. .
X-rays cannot penetrate my abs. When I go to the hospital, they just have to do one of those police artist sketches of my insides.
If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, the only thing we know for sure is that my abs are still fucking awesome.
If they showed my abs in 3D on Imax, it would probably kill you.
