Ought I get in touch with an old friend I've not seen for 20 years?

[xxxLinda]

I've just googled & facebooked him and cor blimey he looks like my dad.  I am 40 something.

We dated (well we worked together and did lunch, then went to the film festival with gold stars, we worked for a glam mag) in Toronto in the late 80s.  The reason we got along was that we were both immigrants to Canada and were English.


Turns out he's been back in England, living and working not very far away from me, running a company doing underfloor heating, playing polo and going skiing.  I googled everything about him. 


But I've not contacted anyone out of the blue I knew in Toronto for more than 20 years.


Ought I?

says he's single.  maybe he's gay.  that's fun.
I've never been to polo and I certainly can't ski although I spent 17 years in Canada...



xL

[BayGBM]

Of course!  Do it! 

A couple weeks ago, I had dinner with a woman I went to grad school with when we both lived in Boston.  She was from New Zealand and is now a professor in Australia.  We had not seen each other since 1998 or 1999.  Over the last year, we had a couple emails back and forth, and when she came to town for a meeting we had dinner and a tour of the city. http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=240192.msg4177761#msg4177761

When you see old friends like this (after a long stretch of time) it’s weird to think about how fast time goes by, but cool to see how quickly you can reconnect as if only a couple days had passed.

[xxxLinda]

Thanks for that... 

Obviously I'd already figured that I must get in touch with this "old boyfriend" I've not seen since we were young beautiful and fabulous 20 years ago in another faraway country who happens to live up the road a few miles away from me in London nowadays...



It's just what do I say?  And firstly how to go about it?  I'm not doing an email or a tweet, nothing like that.  Too forward.  Not my style.  Ought I send him a short brief letter at his work address? 

I think that's best?

He was terribly posh when we lived in Canada.  We were about 20-25.  I'd been there since I was 14 so had acquired a bit of an accent.  He spoke proper and never waivered.

He said he was in the SAS army and had just arrived in Toronto.  I was party animal.  We went our separate ways...  We both now live here in NW London, his webthing says he plays polo with the Royals.  He travelled.  So did I.  I moved to NY after TO...


I was lower class with a Liverpool/Cannuk accent.  Still am.


Should I talk about the highlight of my life, (joke here btw), the time in Toronto 20something years ago I joked and heckled and danced with Jim Carrey at the Film Fest and had dinner with him the next night then turned him down?  He wasn't my type.  (I think Mr Flood, the man I'm talking about contacting saw all of that action and was mortified...)  Or should I instead brag about what I've done since, here in London?  I sold 2nd hand clothing at Portobello Road, did a bit of gardening?  Worked as a temp secretary for 10 years?  Ended up in a social housing flat a spinster, unmarried without kids and past it?

No, I can't say that.  I'm still fit, don't look anything like my age.  So I can get past the looking at each other bit, it'll be hilarious.  He's posted a pic of himself, hasn't dyed his grey sideburns and he looks like me Dad.

I'm fine.  But I don't know what on earth to say !


I cant sing, can't dance, don't ski and haven't a clue about polo.


xL
I'm good at looking though.  This'll be so funny.

I'm rather proud of the fact that there is a single well-to-do ex-Canadian like me, a rich fit possibly gay Brit I used to know living nearby I could send a msg to....  It's hilarious.

[Original Sin]

You said you Facebooked him, so contact him through that.

Isn't that what Facebook is really all about anyway?

I wouldn't worry about what to talk about, what to wear or anything like that, you're old friends, that part will come easily.

[xxxLinda]

na, it's not that easy, I must plan it.   I adore anticipation.


I'll have to write to him at his company.  He'll probably recognise my handwriting on the envelope..

after 20 years that'd be funny. 


Facebook and all that twat is too impersonal.



Don't you think?  After all this time.

We're old school.  Maybe he can't type and I do 90wpm.  I could send a polite note with my telephone number written below?   I wouldn't think of doing this if his profile didn't say he was single and works just up the road from me... 

I've recently googled lotsa people I knew in TO and most have done incredibly well...



The Wire is on TV now, so gotta go.  They're showing it here on BBC2 Monday Tuesday and Wednesday 11:20 to 12:20.  I have to put the subtitles on, but I'm loving it.  alright?



old boyfriends must wait.  ta for being here xL

[xxxLinda]

I never worry, don't need the wrinkles.  I just often concern myself.  I prefer to say I'm concerned...





Loving this "The Wire" 

Did you know that Dominic whasthisname is British and that the other good cop, Lester Freemant also is and lives a few blocks away from me?  He did an interview in a London celeb mag recently and lives in W9.  Obviously I wouldn't recognise him without the specs and the daft goatee.  He says he eats at my local Buddist Temple...

How do they do that Baltimore drawl?  It's wild.  Can't understand a word they say !

[Laura Lee]

I say yes if you separated on a good note.  It's always fun to reminisce with an old friend.   

[24KT]

Hey Linda, Go for it!

I just got in touch with an old friend from highschool to catch up. She actually contacted me.
Turns out she's now living in Florida selling Real Estate. Wants to open a niche with Canadian snow birds.

Just send a note to say hi, and include your current contact details. email & phone number.
Let him take it from there if he wants to catch up with you too.

Like Bay said, ...it's amazing how even after all the years have past, ...when chatting it'll be like yesterday.

[xxxLinda]

I googled everyone I ever knew that I remember. 


Fortunately  I'm not there, so that's good, you can't google me, I'm incognito.

I lied about the facebook, he's not on that, I just surfed through it.  He's on some work website.


Googled 3 who are now dead.



the only reason I was able to recognise that old flame was that he posted his birthday, which I always remembered.   



He doesn't look anything like I'd remember.  I'd pass him on the street without blinking.  It's stupidity to even think about it, it'll do another year.




I just last week received a letter in the post from an old gay mate who is still surprisingly alive in TO telling me I'm useless and ought to go out and get a pen and paper, an envelope and a stamp.  So rude. 


No need to get "in touch" with new old mates to be honest.  The old old mates are demanding.



xL

[garebear]

Yes, and get all hot and heavy.

[xxxLinda]

I say yes if you separated on a good note.  It's always fun to reminisce with an old friend.   

We "separated" if you wanna call it that on an extremely good note.  I moved to NYC and turned him down a 3rd time.  So I don't understand how come he says he's single 20 years later.

I can understand single females without kids, there are so many of us in this generation who said Oh no thanks.

But I cannot understand a bloke who has not been married or had kids at 45.  Surely that's weird? 



Women say no but men rarely do

[xxxLinda]

Yes, and get all hot and heavy.

although he's portraying himself as ultra homo, ex-SAS and plays polo and skis, I think he must be gay.  Surely no bloke lives to 45 and doesn't marry or have kids?


or maybe he saw the TV ads they did in the 80s about aids etc and wore condoms?







xL

[xxxLinda]

That American "The Wire" TV show was incredible last night.  We weren't warned, didn't have a clue and it turned out it was the finale of the 4th series and it went on till nearly 1am.  We don't have ads on the BBC so it was non-stop.


It was kinda reminiscent of the 80s, Miami Vice, where they played an entire song and just showed people acting out to the lyrics. Lovely.

Didn't expect that.  Thought it was on again tonight at 11:20.  But it's not.


Instead there's a new 5th series next year or next week we'll get here on the BBC to look forward to.

[Butterbean]

Have you contacted him yet? 

Personally I think I'd just email.  I know it's more impersonal but it's also less threatening.  Maybe that's because I've received a couple letters at my house from prisoners.

If you do email think about putting "Hi ____ It's Linda _____" in the subject line so it catches his eye and he doesn't just delete it because he doesn't recognize your email address.

Then keep it casual and if he wants to contact you he will email back.

On the other hand it's possible it may go to his spam filter and he may miss it.

Hope it works out in a positive way.

[Playboy]

I've just googled & facebooked him and cor blimey he looks like my dad.  I am 40 something.

We dated (well we worked together and did lunch, then went to the film festival with gold stars, we worked for a glam mag) in Toronto in the late 80s.  The reason we got along was that we were both immigrants to Canada and were English.


Turns out he's been back in England, living and working not very far away from me, running a company doing underfloor heating, playing polo and going skiing.  I googled everything about him. 


But I've not contacted anyone out of the blue I knew in Toronto for more than 20 years.


Ought I?

says he's single.  maybe he's gay.  that's fun.
I've never been to polo and I certainly can't ski although I spent 17 years in Canada...



xL

IMO no. If you haven't spoken in over 20 years is it really worth it? If the friendship was true, you would have both stayed in touch. Besides, he may have moved on and found someone else and all you will do is cause termoil. Leave it be and move on.

[xxxLinda]

me?  termoil?


lolol.


I just thought it'd be nice and it most definitely and very certainly would.  I'm just (as always) making a mountain of a molehill.  Of course I'll get in touch with him.

I moved away to NYC and didn't keep in touch.  What are the chances of landing back again across the Atlantic in NW London?



There are perhaps two people who emigrated to Canada when young and then left?  I'm one of them. 

I've never ever met another ex-Canadian.  You meet many Canadian travellers, but never people who are able to live there then leave.  Everyone else I've ever spoken to about Canada wonders why I came back to England.  You can't get there from here anymore.  Noone understands why I came back to UK.


I haven't remotely got the hots for him as he looks 55. I still go for youngsters, it's funny that.  Although you grow older every single day, your tastes in men don't change, they don't grow up.


Makes one feel old and rather sad to google an old date who now looks like your dad.

x

[ToxicAvenger]

polo ws invented in N. Pakistan by bored farmers...

true story!