kai will be devastated again when jay wins, then we will get to here the long philosophical explanation if this and that and this is not what i ordered and what, i didnt win again? and the stars were not aligned and i must have had some self doubt or it was not my time and what did i do to not be ready and it all starts with the mind and.... and jay won again and.... well.... when you look in the mirror when it is all said and done, do you do what you needed to do to have that feeling of success. did i dig deep enough? did i eat correctly? was everything as it was supposed to be? you have to look back at where you came from and where you want to go and spiritually did i have it in me to win? so in retrospect its like did you ask yourself over and over if the things you did were enough and was it more than enough because in the end it is just you standing there and to not win after putting all this effort into one show, one day, one one hour judging. was....it.....enough? and by not winning.... and jay won again.... it makes you a stronger man. a stronger being in time and space where in the end it is just you and your spirit. its all you got and then you realize you must do it again for the next time but that time you must put out more and more and more till you reach that ultimate.... that ultimate level where mind and body become one and you do it because you thought it and willed it to happen...........
