Author Topic: The Joke Thread - Old, New and Cool Jokes (Read 7965 times)

kiwiol · « **Reply #25 on:** October 12, 2010, 05:41:38 PM »

2 guys, one White and the other Black are both travelling in a car. Which one's driving?

The White guy, cause he's the cop.

2ND COMING · « **Reply #26 on:** October 12, 2010, 05:44:18 PM »

Quote from: Nirvana on October 12, 2010, 01:43:25 PM

A jew a mexican and a black walk into a bar and the owner says "GET THE FUCK OUT!"

LOL

whats the difference between a black man and a pizza?

a pizza can feed a family of 4.

polychronopolous · « **Reply #27 on:** October 12, 2010, 05:46:22 PM »

What's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead black man in the middle of the road?

The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

Man of Steel · « **Reply #28 on:** October 12, 2010, 05:56:39 PM »

Two mexicans are hunting in the forest and become lost.

After trying to find their way unsuccessfully for many hours they became very hungry.

In the distance they spot a tree covered in delicious cuts of bacon with a sign saying "Help yourself to the Bacon Tree!"

The hungrier of the mexicans lunges for the tree and when almost in reach of the bacon falls flat on his face from a gunshot from the tree.

Mustering all his remaining the strength the gunned down mexican exclaims, "Don't come any closer....it's not a Bacon Tree!! IT'S A HAM BUSH!!"

Lundgren · « **Reply #29 on:** October 12, 2010, 06:36:01 PM »

Quote from: polychronopolous on October 12, 2010, 05:46:22 PM

What's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead black man in the middle of the road?

The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

bearn8v · « **Reply #30 on:** October 12, 2010, 06:42:46 PM »

What's the difference between dog shit and a black person
Eventually the dog shit turns white and stops stinkin

heavyNbasic · « **Reply #31 on:** October 12, 2010, 06:48:23 PM »

Why did the Indian cross the road?

To sleep in the other ditch.

JimmyJam1974 · « **Reply #32 on:** October 12, 2010, 06:51:31 PM »

A getbigger arrives home one night to find his girlfriend weeping. He snuggles up next to her and asks, 'honey, what is wrong?' She replies, 'i heared you were a pedophile.'
He says, 'Whoaa... That's a mighty big word for an 11 year old.'

Hulkster · « **Reply #33 on:** October 12, 2010, 07:00:33 PM »

two blondes are standing in an elevator when a hot guy walks in.

they are standing behind him and can't help but notice the dandruff he has all over his head.

the one blonde looks at the other and says:

"Hey we should give him some Head and Shoulders!"

the other blonde looks at her funny and says:

"What's Shoulders???"

kiwiol · « **Reply #34 on:** October 12, 2010, 07:16:37 PM »

Quote from: JimmyJam1974 on October 12, 2010, 06:51:31 PM

A getbigger arrives home one night to find his girlfriend weeping. He snuggles up next to her and asks, 'honey, what is wrong?' She replies, 'i heared you were a pedophile.'
He says, 'Whoaa... That's a mighty big word for an 11 year old.'

NaturalWonder83 · « **Reply #35 on:** October 12, 2010, 07:18:15 PM »

whats black and sits on top of the stairs?
christopher reeves after a house fire

FREAKgeek · « **Reply #36 on:** October 12, 2010, 07:32:28 PM »

the good ones are too offensive

kh300 · « **Reply #37 on:** October 12, 2010, 07:44:28 PM »

A truck driver is hauling bowling balls down the interstate, when he see's two young black boys walking their bikes down the side of the highway.

He stops and offers them a lift. So he puts them in the back of the truck.

A few miles down the road he gets pulled over.

The cop opens up the back of the trailer and call's for backup on the radio. ''we got a guy hauling guy eggs. 2 of them have hatched and already stolen bikes''

polychronopolous · « **Reply #38 on:** October 12, 2010, 07:48:29 PM »

Quote from: heavyNbasic on October 12, 2010, 06:48:23 PM

Why did the Indian cross the road?

To sleep in the other ditch.

LOL!

You must be from New Mexico or Arizona??

bearn8v · « **Reply #39 on:** October 12, 2010, 09:56:26 PM »

What do you call an empty beer can on the side of the road.
Indian artifact

lovemonkey · « **Reply #40 on:** October 12, 2010, 10:13:42 PM »

Quote from: NaturalWonder83 on October 12, 2010, 07:18:15 PM

whats black and sits on top of the stairs?
christopher reeves after a house fire

LMAO!!

Andy Griffin · « **Reply #41 on:** October 13, 2010, 02:11:01 AM »

Quote from: bearn8v on October 12, 2010, 09:56:26 PM

What do you call an empty beer can on the side of the road.
Indian artifact

chris-a · « **Reply #42 on:** October 13, 2010, 03:42:59 AM »

was asked to go and see my ex-girlfriend the other today. one thing lead to another and we ended up having sex. the police weren't too pleased, i was only meant to be identifying the body.

JOHN MATRIX · « **Reply #43 on:** October 13, 2010, 07:30:33 AM »

what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

wiped his butt

JOHN MATRIX · « **Reply #44 on:** October 13, 2010, 07:32:37 AM »

Quote from: kiwiol on October 12, 2010, 05:37:14 PM

Three snails, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic. They pack a picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is a mile away so it takes them ten days to get there. When they do, Mick unpacks the food and beer. 'Ok Roy give me the bottle opener', 'I didn't bring it' says Roy. 'I thought you packed it'. Mick gets worried, he turns to Andy,'Did you bring the bottle opener'. Naturally Andy didn't bring it.
So they're stuck a mile from anywhere without a bottle opener. They both beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches when he's gone. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their snail lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts 'I knew it'......I'm not F***ing going'

LMAO

paradoxno1 · « **Reply #45 on:** October 13, 2010, 08:11:08 AM »

The other day I told my neighbour Jerome that he was like Marmite.
He said, "What, you either love me or you hate me?"
I said, "No, you're black and you smell."

w8m8 · « **Reply #46 on:** October 13, 2010, 12:16:36 PM »

Jose and Carlos were childhood friends ... they came to America together (in the trunk of a car) to make money enough to live on and hopefully send some back to their families ... they both end up panhandling on the street ... no one will hire a wetback ... after six months Jose has a nice place to live , a nice car to drive , and supports his family of 17 in Mexico

Carlos meanwhile stays in a shelter when the weather is too bad for doorways .. he has to hitchhike anywhere he wants to go and never has a spare dime to send back home

Sick of the difference Carlos confronts Jose and demands that he tells him where he panhandles to get all the money he has

Jose smiles and says ... jew got it all wrong ese' .. iss not where I go .. iss how I ask

Carlos replies .. I am nice to peepulls .. I tell dem I got a big family that needs me to hep dem surrbibe man

Jose smiles back and says .. " dere ya go man .. I just tell dem I need ten dollahs to get back to Mehheeco "

Nirvana · « **Reply #47 on:** October 13, 2010, 01:34:54 PM »

Once apon a time there was this magical place where it never rained, the end.

Author Topic: The Joke Thread - Old, New and Cool Jokes (Read 7965 times)

w8m8