How To Speak Liberal: 20 Words And Phrases Translated

[headhuntersix]

Compassion: Feeling good about yourself for wanting to give away money you didn’t earn to people you hope will vote for your side.
 
“Conscience of the Senate”: KKK member.

Flag: Something to be burned and walked on at protests or alternately, waved close to election time.
 
Greed: Wanting to keep money you’ve earned instead of having it spent on Bridges to Nowhere and government loans to people who’ve contributed to Obama’s campaign.

Guns: Vicious weapons that force people to kill each other.
 
He’s in the pocket of big oil: He was once seen filling up the tank of his car with gas.

Jesus: Someone who shouldn’t ever be brought up in schools, other government buildings, or politics in general unless you’re claiming he was really a liberal who’d be in favor of gay marriage and abortion.
 
Minorities: People who are too dumb and incompetent to make it without liberal help.
 
Morals: Things you should avoid having so you can’t be accused of hypocrisy if you don’t live up to your own standards.
 
No justice, no peace: Give us money and we’ll find someone else to bother.

Our opponents refuse to compromise on this issue: The Republicans refuse to do everything we want.
 
Racism: A word you cry when you’re losing an argument with a conservative.
 
Reality-based community: People who believe that Communism could work if the right people were in charge and that George W. Bush was behind 9/11 — or the Jews, either/or.
 
Taxes: A limitless supply of free money to be given away to liberal special interests in return for votes.
 
Tolerance: Something that justifies going on hate-filled rants against people who don’t share your view of the world.
 
That charge is outrageous: That charge is true, but it’s embarrassing that you brought it up in public.

Unfair attack: They quoted me.
 
USA: Ever heard the phrase “The devil made me do it?” Replace “the devil” with “the USA” and you’ll understand every bad thing that happens in the world.
 
Violent rhetoric: Words like “crossfire,” “job killing,” and “crosshairs” when used by non-liberals.

[headhuntersix]

Bigot: See Racism
Birth Control: a need and a right that should be provided by the state.
Breeder: A truly evil non-choice non-homosexual person that the world can do without.
Choice: Only to be used when referring to a Baby and must always be preceded by "Pro".
Communist: Yep but never admit and always deflect - see "look a squirrel"
Definitives: Always use them for they are correct. Example; 100% of the people put do death by the state of Texas were innocent.
Democrat: see Liberal
Derivative: A financial thingy invented in 2002 by President Bush that caused the collapse of all markets around the world.
Fact: See Definitive
Gaia: Mom
God: All bad and evil except for the one that the peace loving Muslims worship whom we should bend over backwards for and adopt their laws.
Grow up: Quit working and make some signs espousing how other people should be taking care of you.
Liberal: see Socialist
Look a Squirrel: A last ditch effort to change the subject matter, you are backed into a corner with no chance of wining the argument.
Racism: A word you cry when you’re losing an argument with a conservative.
Slavery: Something that only white Republican males from the US partook in just yesterday.
Socialist: see Communist
Wealth Inequality: You worked harder and or are smarter than me and thats just not fair.
Wing Nut: as in; it is always better to have a left wing nut than the right wing nut.

Conservative: A violent, terrorist group, that enslaves people with freedoms and rights liberals really despise or don't approve of.

Corporation: A bunch of rich jooo's who make all the things liberals use to tell them how horrible and cruel they actually are.

Laws: Useless and meaningless words that only have any real use or value when liberals can punish conservatives with them.

The Rich: Everybody who makes more than a liberal and adamantly refuses to let them continue to waste that money on their well documented failed liberal ideas.

Tea Party:A violent group of extremest Racist, facist's, and/or a Nazi terrorist group that follow the law, doesn't poop on police cars, and always pays for progressives mistakes.

The Constitution: An utterly confusing old document that is completely irrelavant until commies can use it bash America or justify their insanity.

The 99%: Everybody who actually does work hard and is forced to pay for all the things that progressives ruin while they claim they are entitled to it or represent it.
 
New Tone: What commies use to blame all their problems which they have created on Conservatives, corporations, Laws, The Rich, The Tea Party, or the Constitution

[blacken700]

•America (United States of): A country located in the N. Western Hemisphere that is #1.
•Bible: A sacred text that provides incontestable answers when thumped.
•Birth Certificate: An official birth record required of all US Presidents, regardless of race, since 2008.
•Capitalism: A system of economic organization that has never been attempted.
•Christmas: A holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, now rarely celebrated due to persecution by atheists.
•Compromise: (uncommon) A form of political suicide.
•Coast (East): A very bad coast of the continental United States.
•Coast (West): Another really inexcusable coast.
•Communism: The belief that the government should ever do anything.
•Condescending: Accurately informed.
•Constitution (U.S.): The hallowed founding document of the United States, the text of which must be interpreted strictly and amended immediately.
•Corporations: Large people who are overtaxed.
•Deficits: 1) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Democrats that threaten to bankrupt the country. 2) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Republicans that don't matter.
•Democrat: A political party.
•Election: A method of selecting representatives, the fraudulence of which may be determined by the outcome.
•Elitist: Qualified.
•Endangered Species: Animals that have it coming.
•Evolution: A theory of human origins that is out there.
•Extremist (Liberal): Espousing or adhering to political beliefs that are held by only a majority of Americans.
•Fact: Information that has been verifiably posted to a RedState comment board.
•Forest (National): Trees that have it coming.
•Gut: Region of the body from which decisions should be made.
•Homosexuality: A membership-only lifestyle organization that perpetuates itself through youth recruitment.
•Hitler: A man to whom it would be inappropriate to compare President Obama in spite of the many uncanny similarities.
•Jesus: Charismatic religious leader and son of God; born in Bethlehem in the year 0; beliefs include love, charity, enhanced interrogation, privatized healthcare, elimination of the estate tax, and the right to carry concealed semiautomatic weapons.
•League (Ivy): an association of eight Eastern universities and colleges, the lack of a fancy education from which qualifies a candidate for political office.
•Liberal: A person who should be rounded up and shot but not really.
•Marxism: A political and economic philosophy developed by Karl Marx and promulgated by Paul Krugman.
•Media (Mainstream): Where you won't hear things.
•Medicare: A fraudulent, socialistic boondoggle that is sacrosanct.
•Mexicans: Brown people who have it coming.
•Mountaintops: Ancient rock formations that have it coming.
•Muslims: Brown people who have it coming.
•News: Fox News
•Obamacare: A Federally-mandated policy to address the national oversupply of grandparents through euthanasia.
•Organic: Eaten by lesbians.
•Party (Tea): A grass-roots movement of patriotic Americans fighting for the principle of "No Taxation With Representation."
•Poll: A survey used to determine, to within a margin of error, what percentage of Americans are right.
•Poverty: The condition of having inadequate financial or material resources due to not trying hard enough.
•Propaganda: The politically motivated dissemination of biased information, opinion, or data through its publication in the New York Times.
•Punishment (Capital): The legally authorized killing by the State of someone who is definitely guilty.
•Racism: A form of discrimination that typically happens in reverse.
•Regulation: Rules issued by a government agency for no reason.
•Ronald Reagan: A fictional character based loosely on President Ronald Reagan.
•Scientist: A person who employs a rigorous system of observation, experiment, measurement, and verification to perpetuate his Godless left-wing agenda.
•Social Security: A redistributionist Ponzi scheme that is sacrosanct.
•Socialism: An economic system invented by FDR.
•Taxes: Levies imposed by the government that raise more revenue the lower they are.
•Torture: A method of interrogation that does not rise to the level of torture.
•Terrorist: A person to whom a person who threatens to destroy the U.S. economy unless his demands are met should not be compared.
•Unbiased: Giving equal weight to both sides of the looking glass.
•Wealthy (the): People who earned every penny.
•Up: A direction which, depending on circumstances, is down.
•Warming (Global): An anomalous, anthropogenic increase in the earth's atmospheric and oceanic temperatures that isn't happening.
•Welfare: A government program to distribute Cadillacs to unwed mothers.
•Yes: (no translation available)

jonathan bines

[headhuntersix]

Oddly..moustly true.