I was looking for another woman's advice on this situation.(beside my wife)

[exocet]

My two boys were out playing with kids in the neighborhood. They are not aggressive but they will definitely push back.  They came back inside, my youngest was in tears saying "David's" brother choked me! "David" is a new neighbor and I was not  aware of any older brother. Anyway, I went over there immediately and this adult sized kid who turned out to be 12 was on the porch. I told him to never put his fucking hands on my 7 year old. If there is a problem, get me! Now go in and get your parents! Needless to say I went verbally back and forth with his mom for a while and finally just left.
 My point is this - if anyone uses deadly force on my kid it will be met with deadly force. My wife was on the sidewalk with me and tried to smooth things over, but I don't think that this is a time to sugar coat things and be nice with the neighbors.

[Princess L]

Exocet,

Please read and agree to the rules of this board in order to participate. 

Thank you

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=93039.0

[Princess L]

My two boys were out playing with kids in the neighborhood. They are not aggressive but they will definitely push back.  They came back inside, my youngest was in tears saying "David's" brother choked me! "David" is a new neighbor and I was not  aware of any older brother. Anyway, I went over there immediately and this adult sized kid who turned out to be 12 was on the porch. I told him to never put his fucking hands on my 7 year old. If there is a problem, get me! Now go in and get your parents! Needless to say I went verbally back and forth with his mom for a while and finally just left.
 My point is this - if anyone uses deadly force on my kid it will be met with deadly force. My wife was on the sidewalk with me and tried to smooth things over, but I don't think that this is a time to sugar coat things and be nice with the neighbors.

From what you wrote here, sounds like you might've went a bit overboard.  Did you have all the facts?  Was the other kid being aggressive and mean or maybe just rough housing, rougher than what your kid is accustomed to?  Initially, it might've been better to take a softer approach and calmly talk to the mother first.  Of course she's going to defend her kid after some ADULT that she doesn't know is "attacking" him.  Since these are new neighbors, you may want to (sort of) apologize for letting your temper take over and see if there's a way you'all can work it out so your kids can play together.  

[exocet]

I see your point of view (same as my wife's) but there are other factors here.
There are two sets of neighbors involved in this. These folks are lower income, they seem to mean well but they are lower class in the way they act and present themselves. We try to be nice and let them know that "hey, we don't park our car on the front lawn in this neighborhood, don't let the pitbulls run loose, keep the car stereo down etc." Hell, we even include their kids with ours as much as we can because we know that they can't afford to do things that we take for granted (go to a movie, public pool.)

After cooling off from this weekends event, my wife and I came to the conclusion that we are just going to have to move. We love our street but I guess it's time for us to move on. Quite a few of our neighbors are the original owners of their homes and they are literally dying off due to old age. The people that are taking their place seem to have different values. I don't know, I must be getting old myself!

[Butterbean]

Since these are new neighbors, you may want to (sort of) apologize for letting your temper take over and see if there's a way you'all can work it out so your kids can play together.  

If exo does this I think he should be clear that choking and the like will not be tolerated...from either side of course. 

Quite a few of our neighbors are the original owners of their homes and they are literally dying off due to old age. The people that are taking their place seem to have different values. I don't know, I must be getting old myself!

Elderly neighbors are great!

[Princess L]

I see your point of view (same as my wife's) but there are other factors here.
There are two sets of neighbors involved in this. These folks are lower income, they seem to mean well but they are lower class in the way they act and present themselves. We try to be nice and let them know that "hey, we don't park our car on the front lawn in this neighborhood, don't let the pitbulls run loose, keep the car stereo down etc." Hell, we even include their kids with ours as much as we can because we know that they can't afford to do things that we take for granted (go to a movie, public pool.)

After cooling off from this weekends event, my wife and I came to the conclusion that we are just going to have to move. We love our street but I guess it's time for us to move on. Quite a few of our neighbors are the original owners of their homes and they are literally dying off due to old age. The people that are taking their place seem to have different values. I don't know, I must be getting old myself!

Well, moving isn't likely to happen all that soon, so might as well try to get along in meantime.

A lot of towns have ordinances against the things you mention.  Maybe check with your local town hall.  They would be the ones to send out a letter to that effect and then you're not the "bad guy".  Also, there's often a neighborhood covenant with rules and regulations on property upkeep.  Do some research (the town hall or even a real estate agent could point you in the right direction). Over the years, a lot of time enforcement goes by the wayside as members become inactive.  Nobody wants a trashy neighborhood, so maybe you could spearhead getting the residents more active, without ganging up on the offenders.

Some subdivisions around here go a bit over the top on their regulations, but it does help to maintain property values.  Some of the rules I've seen are: No vehicles (cars, boats, RVs, etc) kept outside on a regular basis, all mailboxes must match, no garage doors facing the road, no outdoor play structures visible to the road, no animals kept outside, no burning without a permit, any out building matches the home in terms of aesthetics, sidewalk snow removal within X amount of hours after snowfall, lawn kept trimmed to less than 4 inches, no signage in windows, no trash out except on trash day, etc...

[Migs]

hmm, not one racist post yet...

yup definitely the girls forum lol

[exocet]

Sorry to disappoint you Migs. All the parties involved are white. We have a mixed race couple across the street with two young daughters, but they are really good neighbors - we have no complaints about those folks. (must be a girl thing  )

Princess L, elderly neighbors are cool. Over the past couple of years we lost a married couple who were quickly replaced by a retired couple looking to downsize. An then this past year my next door neighbor was replaced by a widower who needed a smaller home for him and his little dog named Elvis.

Well, have a happy Thanksgiving everyone! I have to get busy putting the "fun" in my dysfunctional family! My mom is staying with us for few days so, Lord help me!

[Princess L]

Sorry to disappoint you Migs. All the parties involved are white. We have a mixed race couple across the street with two young daughters, but they are really good neighbors - we have no complaints about those folks. (must be a girl thing  )

Princess L, elderly neighbors are cool. Over the past couple of years we lost a married couple who were quickly replaced by a retired couple looking to downsize. An then this past year my next door neighbor was replaced by a widower who needed a smaller home for him and his little dog named Elvis.

Well, have a happy Thanksgiving everyone! I have to get busy putting the "fun" in my dysfunctional family! My mom is staying with us for few days so, Lord help me!

I think you meant Butterbean, but I agree, elderly neighbors are great.  Our friends down the street are 90.  They're always bringing us little treats (jam, baked goods, produce...).  My husband just recently accompanied the man on an Honor Flight to D.C.  Very cool.  Their favorite part was the "Welcome Home" at the airport with thousands of people waving flags.

[Migs]

Sorry to disappoint you Migs. All the parties involved are white. We have a mixed race couple across the street with two young daughters, but they are really good neighbors - we have no complaints about those folks. (must be a girl thing  )

Princess L, elderly neighbors are cool. Over the past couple of years we lost a married couple who were quickly replaced by a retired couple looking to downsize. An then this past year my next door neighbor was replaced by a widower who needed a smaller home for him and his little dog named Elvis.

Well, have a happy Thanksgiving everyone! I have to get busy putting the "fun" in my dysfunctional family! My mom is staying with us for few days so, Lord help me!

oh not dissapointing me, I was just sure someone wa gonna say something.

[Roger Bacon]

My two boys were out playing with kids in the neighborhood. They are not aggressive but they will definitely push back.  They came back inside, my youngest was in tears saying "David's" brother choked me! "David" is a new neighbor and I was not  aware of any older brother. Anyway, I went over there immediately and this adult sized kid who turned out to be 12 was on the porch. I told him to never put his fucking hands on my 7 year old. If there is a problem, get me! Now go in and get your parents! Needless to say I went verbally back and forth with his mom for a while and finally just left.
 My point is this - if anyone uses deadly force on my kid it will be met with deadly force. My wife was on the sidewalk with me and tried to smooth things over, but I don't think that this is a time to sugar coat things and be nice with the neighbors.

Please don't cuss at kids.

Sorry to disappoint you Migs. All the parties involved are white.

Well.... I feel like a jerk for assuming................ ...................


Edit: Thanks for fixing my post mods!