(a) Lets see-- we will bypass Congress to engage in military action against random countries on the other side of the world when they pose no threat to America's interests or security and are engaged in a civil war. Furthermore, we will engage in "kinetic military operations" with a multilateral effort from numerous countries and get approval from the UN. We will arm and support the rebel elements in civil wars... providing air support and humanitarian aid, along with risking our soldiers lives to support known factions of Al Qaeda who are currently fighting a global war against the United States. However, we will only do so after several weeks of indiscriminate slaughter and several contradictory statements. We will demand that the dictator step down, but we will not support regime change. We will call for him to leave, but we will not make him leave. We will dedicate the overwhelming majority of the money, weapons and manpower required for the multilateral “kinetic military exercise”, but we will refuse to lead the operation or take credit for its success or failure. In addition, we will turn over the "kinetic military exercise" to NATO command which again is really controlled by America, but not really so it’s a good decision. Finally, we will neglect to mention or explain why America will refuse to intervene in Bahrain, The Congo, Sudan, Somalia, North Korea, Yemen, China, Russia, Iran, The Ivory Coast, and any other number of places where people are murdered and oppressed by their own government. Also, we will never acknowledge that the only reason we are involved in a military operation in this country is because our allies import their energy from this particular country. In fact, with our tacit approval, one of our allies pushed for the release of a terrorist from this country who murdered several Americans on “compassionate grounds” in exchange for oil.
(b) When dictators and despots who are friendly toward the United States are having domestic issues, we will support them if it looks like they will be able to remain in power without too much bad press-- but once it looks like the tide has turned, we will demand they step down and we will steadfastly support the Islamic fundamentalists that replace the old leadership. In between changing our official position 12 times in 2 weeks, we will be behind the scenes letting the Islamic Fundamentalists know that we are not Islamophobic and will certainly not stand in their way as they move toward democracy and continue to receive millions of dollars a day in American aid.
(c)Now, the second part of the Obama doctrine has a caveat. If the dictatorship is particularly anti American, sponsors terrorism and has close ties with Iran—or happens to be Iran, we will refuse to intervene completely. If you are an ally of Iran, and you crush peaceful protests by having snipers shoot women and children, we will not condemn your actions or get involved, but not because there are no natural resources in the area. The truth is that the dictator who is having his police mow down women and children in the street is a "reformer". This term reformer will be repeated on American television by the American Secretary of State several times.
Pop quiz—can you name the three countries referenced above in the Obama doctrine?
