Frying bacon naked

[Tapeworm]

Use a tall sided vessel, like a stock pot.  Get a couple pounds or so of lard in there and it won't spit much at all.

Lower the heat later on and leave the bacon in there until the bubbling slows right down.  Bacon will be perfectly crispy when it cools.  Pleasantly dark but no burned spots at all.  *Not for canadian bacon*

Retain the lard for other recipes or lubricant.

[Hulkotron]

Strong advice from an obvious professional.

[Tapeworm]

Oh sure.  They don't care about crispy bacon now, my friend.

[arce1988]

 

[Obvious Gimmick]

i hit my cock with a hot iron  when i was ironing shirts once. 

true story

[Irongrip400]

I usually cook breakfast on the weekends, and occasionally burn myself with popping bacon grease because I cook it in my underwear. Thanks for the advice.

[Obvious Gimmick]

I usually cook breakfast on the weekends, and occasionally burn myself with popping bacon grease because I cook it in my underwear. Thanks for the advice.

back in my younger years when i smoked cannibus (and shitty cannibus at that) pot seeds would pop, one caught me right in the eye. not fun 

[WOOO]

Frying bacon naked is part of a young man's progression into manhood and a lifetime of having other men rub ointment on his body.

[BIG ACH]

I always fucking forget and cook Bacon shirtless then I'm jumping around like an ass going "WHAT THE FUCK!!" when it starts spitting on me!

[mr.turbo]

dont put your penis in the pot until its cooled off guys

[Jadeveon Clowney]

I always fucking forget and cook Bacon shirtless then I'm jumping around like an ass going "WHAT THE FUCK!!" when it starts spitting on me!

damn dude all that jumping around without adequate support up top must hurt.

[WOOO]

dont put your penis in the pot until its cooled off guys

Sound advice

[Parker]

I always fucking forget and cook Bacon shirtless then I'm jumping around like an ass going "WHAT THE FUCK!!" when it starts spitting on me!

there is this thing called an 'oven', you stick the bacon in there.

[Purple Aki]

Lardon sounds a bit like hard on.

[Purple Aki]

and both are salty treats you cant help but cram into your mouth. (no homo)

[WOOO]

there is this thing called an 'oven', you stick the bacon in there.

That sounds more dangerous for your penis

No homo

[Tapeworm]

there is this thing called an 'oven', you stick the bacon in there.

Bacon here is quite lean so immersion in hot fat gives me a better crisp instead of a bacon jerky result.


It should even retain it's crispy texture if added in bits to a prefrozen maple bourbon ice cream.  Will confirm.


Also this about food.  Goes to show ya.