Hey, eferybody. I’m goin' to shtah in a new mofie. It’s vat dey cawl a "counterfactual historical epic," that's something vich tries to answer a "vat if" question. The mofie asks: vat if Conan vas one of the "Three" Musketeers? I’m going to play the role of Conan d'Cimmerian. Sylvester Stallone is playin' an efil vizard called Thoth-Cardinal-Richelieu-Amon, and I'm going to kill him! Yeah, that's right. The mofie takes place in the Hyborian Age, but vith a lot of French people, too. It's gonna be great!
