you came off of testosterone as well? what was the pct? Maybe you'd be where you are at had you not taken the drugs anyway.
The last time i came off i used PCT (HCG + Clomid) however i felt it made no difference at all, just delayed the recovery process starting.
I was ripped at 193 and now that is my limit to how lean i can get, i hover around 196. I am far bigger than i would be without using drugs, you really have no idea. Why you think you will just lose muscle when you clean out makes no sense.