Here you go. Any moron can do this and it will actually taste great. I would also make a pan sauce with the drippings. But you don`t have to if its beyond your skills. At least you will have some good chicken to eat. Oh, and make sure its not one of those frozen pieces of shit or that its frozen. Just get the fresh whole chicken.
The Best Roast Chicken for Morons
1 tablespoon kosher salt
½ teaspoon pepper
1 (3½- to 4-pound) whole chicken, giblets discarded
1 tablespoon olive oil
1. Adjust oven rack to middle position, place 12-inch ovensafe skillet on rack, and heat oven to 450 degrees. Combine salt and pepper in bowl. Pat chicken dry with paper towels. Rub entire surface with oil. Sprinkle salt mixture evenly over surface of chicken, then rub in mixture with your hands to coat evenly. Tie legs together with kitchen twine and tuck wing tips behind back.
2. Transfer chicken, breast side up, to preheated skillet in oven. Roast chicken until breast registers 120 degrees and thighs register 135 degrees, 25 to 35 minutes. Turn oven off and leave chicken in oven until breast registers 160 degrees and thighs register 175 degrees, 25 to 35 minutes.
3. Using potholders (skillet handle will be hot), transfer chicken to carving board and let rest for 20 minutes. Carve and serve.
Tarragon-Lemon Pan Sauce for Morons
MAKES ABOUT ¾ CUP
1 shallot, minced
1 cup chicken broth
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 teaspoons minced fresh tarragon
2 teaspoons lemon juice
Pepper
While chicken rests, remove all but 1 tablespoon fat from skillet (handle will be very hot) using large spoon, leaving any browned bits and jus in skillet. Place skillet over medium-high heat, add shallot, and cook until softened, about 2 minutes. Stir in broth and mustard, scraping up any browned bits. Simmer until reduced to ¾ cup, about 3 minutes. Off heat, whisk in butter, tarragon, and lemon juice. Season with pepper to taste; cover and keep warm.
What a crock of shit. Just buy the chicken, put it in a roaster, and smother it with chilli or curry sauce (or whichever sauce you fancy) once it's done. No need at all for all this fussy Adonis nonsense unless you happen to be cooking for me.
