Life of a modern, young, amatuer bodybuilder...

[Howard]

1. Bros in the gym tell him he's looking jacked and needs to compete.
He flexes in the gym mirror and knows they're right.

2. Goes to the organization web site and learns about all the new divisions ( MPD, classic, BB, etc)
Gets confused and seeks clarification form gym bros.

3. Gym bros advise him that he has an ideal MPD "look". Now he's glad he spent the extra $1.21 for the upgrade hair gel.

4. Learns about the judging criteria of MPD, from an experienced bikini competitor  who did a show last summer.
Decides to watch Zoolander  on Netflicks to learn how to models pose with his gf.
Spends 2 hrs getting down his blue steel look for effective stage presence.

5. Competes and ends up getting 14th out of 22 guys in his class. Blames it on the color of his boar shorts and judging politics.

6. Decides to retire from competition but keep working out with his bros.
Blows his annual savings on a trip to Vegas for the Olympia weekend.
Met Phil heath during the Mr O , meet the pros, and gets a selfie with him.
GF remarks he's wider then the current Mr O when standing beside him in the pic.

[bigmikecox]

LMAO!!!!  good shit! 

[Coffeed]

Sounds like the making of a modern day Rocky.

Mega blockbuster here.

[Donny]

1. Bros in the gym tell him he's looking jacked and needs to compete.
He flexes in the gym mirror and knows they're right.

2. Goes to the organization web site and learns about all the new divisions ( MPD, classic, BB, etc)
Gets confused and seeks clarification form gym bros.

3. Gym bros advise him that he has an ideal MPD "look". Now he's glad he spent the extra $1.21 for the upgrade hair gel.

4. Learns about the judging criteria of MPD, from an experiences bikini competitor  who did a show last summer.
Decides to watch Zoolander  on Netflicks to learn how to models pose with his gf.
Spends 2 hrs getting down his blue steel look for effective stage presence.

5. Competes and ends up getting 14th out of 22 guys in his class. Blames it on the color of his boar shorts and judging politics.

6. Decides to retire from competition but keep working out with his bros.
Blows his annual savings on a trip to Vegas for the Olympia weekend.
Met Phil heath during the Mr O , meet the pros, and gets a selfie with him.
GF remarks he's wider then the current Mr O when standing beside him in the pic.

Howard 

[ritch]

Not bad, was hesitant to click on a thread by you as the last ones stank bad.

[OB1]

1. Bros in the gym tell him he's looking jacked and needs to compete.
He flexes in the gym mirror and knows they're right.

2. Goes to the organization web site and learns about all the new divisions ( MPD, classic, BB, etc)
Gets confused and seeks clarification form gym bros.

3. Gym bros advise him that he has an ideal MPD "look". Now he's glad he spent the extra $1.21 for the upgrade hair gel.

4. Learns about the judging criteria of MPD, from an experiences bikini competitor  who did a show last summer.
Decides to watch Zoolander  on Netflicks to learn how to models pose with his gf.
Spends 2 hrs getting down his blue steel look for effective stage presence.

5. Competes and ends up getting 14th out of 22 guys in his class. Blames it on the color of his boar shorts and judging politics.

6. Decides to retire from competition but keep working out with his bros.
Blows his annual savings on a trip to Vegas for the Olympia weekend.
Met Phil heath during the Mr O , meet the pros, and gets a selfie with him.
GF remarks he's wider then the current Mr O when standing beside him in the pic.

LOL
not bad.

[Howard]

Not bad, was hesitant to click on a thread by you as the last ones stank bad.

Thanks but it's all a matter of perspective.
Standing on stage next to a top IFBB pro = look like Jason Genova
Standing on stage next to Jason Genova = look like a top IFBB pro 

[funk51]

good post ,that about nails it.... this is your post of the decade and is just a little past halfway.

[calfzilla]

Step away from the keyboard Howard.

[flinstones1]

The Life of an amateur bber is more like this

Wake up take your first 3cc of gear for  the day. Ignore the training routine and diet your coach wrote for you that you dropped a grand on, deep down you know its all drugs anyways.

Make your way to the gym, be sure to  stop by the gas station to pick up some  chocolate....you took 15u insulin IM pre workout, never know when you can go hypo.  Hit the   machines for 35 minutes,  your on so much tren you can barely do that without gasping for air. No worries you know you'll grow walking to the refrigerator on the stack your on.

Start preaching to the 205lb black guy with 20 inch arms  you see in the gym everyday  about how bad overtraining is,  despite him having much better arms than you tell him he's overtraining them....

Hit a few poses.... stuff yourself with the  fourth  meal of the day, it's 12 am your doing good.  your gut looks like shit and is the only thing thats grown in two years   but the scale is moving ad you know your  well on your way

See that hot blonde  chick you've had a crush on for the past year but never had the balls to ask out talking with some 190lb twink....laugh about the time you saw him struggle with  benching 275.  Instead of coming to grips with the fact that your 5'8  with a receding hairline just  Tell yourself she's  probably  intimidated by you

Come home take a shot of insulin and your next 3cc of gear, post a selfie on instagram and wait for the first hot fitness slut  to like it. She likes two of your photos, you go like 70 and dm her "whatsup beautiful"...make sure to throw an emoji in there or two.  She blocks your creepy ass  forever, convince yourself that she's intimidated by you too.

While you got  your heating pad on your ass because you've got so much scar tissue from years of abuse, make a thread on pro muscle bragging about how little you use and what superior genetics you have.

[Simple Simon]

The Life of an amateur bber is more like this

Wake up take your first 3cc of gear for  the day. Ignore the training routine and diet your coach wrote for you that you dropped a grand on, deep down you know its all drugs anyways.

Make your way to the gym, be sure to  stop by the gas station to pick up some  chocolate....you took 15u insulin IM pre workout, never know when you can go hypo.  Hit the   machines for 35 minutes,  your on so much tren you can barely do that without gasping for air. No worries you know you'll grow walking to the refrigerator on the stack your on.

Start preaching to the 205lb black guy with 20 inch arms  you see in the gym everyday  about how bad overtraining is,  despite him having much better arms than you tell him he's overtraining them....

Hit a few poses.... stuff yourself with the  fourth  meal of the day, it's 12 am your doing good.  your gut looks like shit and is the only thing thats grown in two years   but the scale is moving ad you know your  well on your way

See that hot blonde  chick you've had a crush on for the past year but never had the balls to ask out talking with some 190lb twink....laugh about the time you saw him struggle with  benching 275.  Instead of coming to grips with the fact that your 5'8  with a receding hairline just  Tell yourself she's  probably  intimidated by you

Come home take a shot of insulin and your next 3cc of gear, post a selfie on instagram and wait for the first hot fitness slut  to like it. She likes two of your photos, you go like 70 and dm her "whatsup beautiful"...make sure to throw an emoji in there or two.  She blocks your creepy ass  forever, convince yourself that she's intimidated by you too.

While you got  your heating pad on your ass because you've got so much scar tissue from years of abuse, make a thread on pro muscle bragging about how little you use and what superior genetics you have.

lol, 8 weeks on a decent diet and you would weigh less than that yourself.

[Howard]

The Life of an amateur bber is more like this

Wake up take your first 3cc of gear for  the day. Ignore the training routine and diet your coach wrote for you that you dropped a grand on, deep down you know its all drugs anyways.

Make your way to the gym, be sure to  stop by the gas station to pick up some  chocolate....you took 15u insulin IM pre workout, never know when you can go hypo.  Hit the   machines for 35 minutes,  your on so much tren you can barely do that without gasping for air. No worries you know you'll grow walking to the refrigerator on the stack your on.

Start preaching to the 205lb black guy with 20 inch arms  you see in the gym everyday  about how bad overtraining is,  despite him having much better arms than you tell him he's overtraining them....

Hit a few poses.... stuff yourself with the  fourth  meal of the day, it's 12 am your doing good.  your gut looks like shit and is the only thing thats grown in two years   but the scale is moving ad you know your  well on your way

See that hot blonde  chick you've had a crush on for the past year but never had the balls to ask out talking with some 190lb twink....laugh about the time you saw him struggle with  benching 275.  Instead of coming to grips with the fact that your 5'8  with a receding hairline just  Tell yourself she's  probably  intimidated by you

Come home take a shot of insulin and your next 3cc of gear, post a selfie on instagram and wait for the first hot fitness slut  to like it. She likes two of your photos, you go like 70 and dm her "whatsup beautiful"...make sure to throw an emoji in there or two.  She blocks your creepy ass  forever, convince yourself that she's intimidated by you too.

While you got  your heating pad on your ass because you've got so much scar tissue from years of abuse, make a thread on pro muscle bragging about how little you use and what superior genetics you have.

You forgot to add :
...he drives a beater , broke down truck and his gf makes fun of him.
She posts some pic of cartoon demolition driver Crash Bendicoot and says it looks like him.

Pissed off , he goes on getbig begging for a gofundme project, so he can get  shinny new truck.