Back off on Piper cheif
He is Scared
You're the board's token jobber, constantly patting yourself on the back for doing absolutely nothing.....a living tribute to Barry Horowitz.

Now go steal a little girl's popsicle (like you steal other people's drinks) and furiously lick it. Closest thing you'll ever get to a French kiss, and the only safe way you’ll ever act out your messed-up fantasies without catching charges.