When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says, "I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr. T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar. They traveled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr. T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr. T in the chest. The result was the 80's.
Mr. T isn't afraid of flying, but God fears the consequences of letting him fall.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in separate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
Mr. T doesn't breathe; air just hides in his lungs for protection.
That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Mr. T has had some interesting bowel movements; some of which include: Steve Urkel and Australia.
Underneath the mohawk lies a gentle and loving man. In front of the man lies the thousands of corpses of his enemies.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
A man once asked Mr. T for the time. Without hesitation Mr. T promptly reached into his pocket and pulled out Flava Flav, only to read the time off of the large "Mr. T" novelty clock on his chest. After returning Flava Flav to his rightful place, Mr. T then curb stomped the man, and proceeded to thoroughly pity the fool who didn't have a watch of his own.
Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
On the A-team, Face, Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T's chains are not made of gold, they are actually made of curium, one of the heaviest elements in existence. They were put there by the CIA to slow him down, and you're lucky they do, fool.
Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
