Author Topic: Jokes!  (Read 1965 times)

Hustle Man

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Jokes!
« on: August 20, 2007, 07:56:30 AM »
I was in Walmart buying a large bag of Purina  for my dog and was in line to check out.  A woman behind me asked me if I  had a dog... (DUHHHH)
I was feeling a bit crabby so, on impulse, I told  her, "NO," and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably  shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time.  BUT, I told  her, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes  coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms. Her eyes about  bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and  she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive  diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina  nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.  The package  said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I  have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled  with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked  if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the  hospital. I said, "Oh, NO ... I was sitting in the middle of the street licking  my butt when a car hit me."

I thought the tall guy in back of the line  was going to have to be carried out.
 
W

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2007, 08:35:03 AM »
I don't find anything funny about feeding a dog *hack* ,Purina.

   ::)

Vet

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2007, 03:32:15 PM »
I was in Walmart buying a large bag of Purina  for my dog and was in line to check out.  A woman behind me asked me if I  had a dog... (DUHHHH)
I was feeling a bit crabby so, on impulse, I told  her, "NO," and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably  shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time.  BUT, I told  her, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes  coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms. Her eyes about  bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and  she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive  diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina  nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.  The package  said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I  have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled  with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked  if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the  hospital. I said, "Oh, NO ... I was sitting in the middle of the street licking  my butt when a car hit me."

I thought the tall guy in back of the line  was going to have to be carried out.
 


Dude, thats awesome.....  ;D ;D

Hustle Man

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2007, 08:42:28 PM »
I don't find anything funny about feeding a dog *hack* ,Purina.

   ::)

It was a joke Flower and I know you laughed!  ;D
W

Princess L

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2007, 09:36:05 PM »
It was a joke Flower and I know you laughed!  ;D

You lost me right after "I was in Walmart ..."  :-*
:

WOOO

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2007, 03:53:54 AM »
You lost me right after "I was in Walmart ..."  :-*

I don't find anything funny about feeding a dog *hack* ,Purina.

   ::)



Huscle, they only tease you if they want you...  :)

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2007, 07:29:04 AM »
It was a joke Flower and I know you laughed!  ;D

You lost me right after "I was in Walmart ..."  :-*

  I made it to Purina!!   LOL!!!


  Hustle Man
  :-*

Hustle Man

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2007, 09:08:25 AM »
I don't find anything funny about feeding a dog *hack* ,Purina.

   ::)

(IYHO) What's the best food for a 13yr old miniature Poodle? (don't tell anyone I have a poodle either)
W

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2007, 09:41:48 AM »
(IYHO) What's the best food for a 13yr old miniature Poodle? (don't tell anyone I have a poodle either)

The best food for any dog is raw bones, meat, and offals.   ;D

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=139354.0
 
 
But, if I have to give an opinion on a kibble, I recommend the Chicken Soup line.

Princess L has her Scout on it and says he is doing really well. 

  You want to check the ingredients of any kibble, the first 3 out of 4 (or 4 out of 4 like the Chicken Soup line) should be a meat item. Dogs are carnivores, not grain or plant eaters.     

 If you decide to switch kibbles, mix the new one in with the old one to lesson stomach problems.  Some dogs have no problem switching, others do. 

 If you decide to go to raw, then I recommend just doing it.
  8)

Hustle Man

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2007, 10:04:16 AM »
We have been feeding her, Drs. Foster & Smith Chicken & Brown Rice Formula Senior dry dog food. No problems so far but she passes gas ALOT its like mustard gas WHEWWWWWW! Any way thats why we were thinking of changing.
W

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Re: Jokes!
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2007, 10:12:23 AM »
We have been feeding her, Drs. Foster & Smith Chicken & Brown Rice Formula Senior dry dog food. No problems so far but she passes gas ALOT its like mustard gas WHEWWWWWW! Any way thats why we were thinking of changing.

 ingredients:

Chicken, Brown Rice, Rice, Chicken Meal, Whole Barley, Beet Pulp, Rice Bran, Potatoes, Chicken Fat (naturally preserved with mixed tocopherols, citric acid, and rosemary), Natural Flavor, Sweet Potatoes, Carrots, Apples, Alfalfa, Brewers Dried Yeast, Whole Ground Flaxseed, Kelp, Egg Product, Potassium Chloride, Dicalcium Phosphate, Salt, Herring Oil, Vitamin E Supplement, Garlic, Sodium Ascorbate (source of Vitamin C), Dehydrated Lactobacillus acidophilus Fermentation Product, Dehydrated Bacillus subtilis Fermentation Product, Dehydrated Bifidobacterium thermophilum Fermentation Product, Dehydrated Bifidobacterium longum Fermentation Product, Dehydrated Enterococcus faecium Fermentation Product, Glucosamine, Chondroitin Sulfate, Choline Chloride, Zinc Proteinate (source of chelated Zinc), Iron Proteinate (source of chelated Iron), Zinc Sulfate, Iron Sulfate, Beta Carotene, Manganese Proteinate (source of chelated Manganese), Vitamin B12 Supplement, Manganese Sulfate, Niacin, Vitamin A Supplement, Cobalt Proteinate (source of chelated Cobalt), Calcium Pantothenate, Riboflavin Supplement, Copper Proteinate (source of chelated Copper), Vitamin D3 Supplement, Copper Sulfate, Thiamine Mononitrate, Ethylene Diamine Dihydriodide (source of Iodine), Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Biotin, Folic Acid, Menadione Dimethylpyrimidinol Bisulfite (source of Vitamin K activity), Sodium Selenite.


So out of the first 4 ingredients there are only 2 meat sources and two grains are the second and third highest ingredients!    Grains are known to cause gas.  Dogs are not set up to digest them. 

  I say look to a better kibble (or raw!  8))