Would you ever do this to your significant other?

[Butterbean]

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for a long time. I am an early riser and sit at the kitchen table with my coffee and newspaper each morning long before my husband gets up. Recently I heard him coming down the hall and spontaneously slumped over the table with my eyes half-closed.

He poked my shoulder with his finger and said, "Are you all right?" I didn't respond, and he stood watching me for several seconds. He never checked to see if I had a pulse or if I was breathing. He walked around my chair and stood looking at me. After at least two minutes I lifted my head and said, "That was a test, and you flunked it."

I've gone into sudden cardiac arrest more than once when he was not present. I expected him to show some alarm and start to dial 911. He showed no emotion and didn't indicate that he would have done anything.

I am totally crushed and am contemplating a divorce. What is your take?

-- Shrinking Violet



Seems like the guy could have been in shock or something....Also, I wonder what her reaction would have been if she found her husband slumped over the kitchen table?
   

the following was Amy's answer:

Dear Violet: I find your situation alarming, but perhaps for a different reason than you might expect. I assume that you feel you were driven to conduct this "test" on your husband because you have become invisible to him, but your test made a mockery out of a very real medical condition. Don't "cry wolf" with your own health.

You should respect your own situation and seek appropriate professional treatment for your depression and other medical conditions right away.

I agree with you that your husband's poking you in the arm is not an appropriate reaction to a medical condition. I understand how disappointed you must feel, but presumably you set him up because you suspected that he would react as he did. Now what?

Please make sure that your husband knows what to do in case of a medical emergency. Your marriage also needs some serious 911. His neglect and your passive aggression make for a very unhappy and unhealthy combination.

[drkaje]

At least he didn't start singing "ding dong the witch is dead".

The husband should give her the boot.

[Playboy]

That is cruel. Buddy probably knew she was horsing around. No one is that stupid.

[Butterbean]

At least he didn't start singing "ding dong the witch is dead".

Ohhhh!!! lol!

[BayGBM]

She got the reaction she deserved.  When you set someone up, you should be very mindful that it can blow up in your own face.   

[Playboy]

She got the reaction she deserved.  When you set someone up, you should be very mindful that it can blow up in your own face.   

Agreed. That was cruel. Nothing to joke around with there. In her hubby's defence he probably knew she was horsing around. Either that or she has some sick acting skills.

[mbell]

Maybe he was still half a sleep  she did say he stumbled down the hallway!!!

[Laura Lee]

Wouldn't she have shit if he picked up the phone, called his lover and said "it worked! she's dead! now we can be together!" 

[BayGBM]

Wouldn't she have shit if he picked up the phone, called his lover and said "it worked! she's dead! now we can be together!" 

 

[Rimbaud]

Wouldn't she have shit if he picked up the phone, called his lover and said "it worked! she's dead! now we can be together!" 

...or maybe expressed outloud how he was planning to spend her life insurance.

[Vet]

My wife did something sort of similar to me when we were in veterinary school.  The thing she didn't think about was I could see her breathing.   I never had any doubt that she was ok and was fucking around.  Whos to say that the guy didn't think the same thing? 

[24KT]

At least he didn't start singing "ding dong the witch is dead".

Now I've gone and spewed cinnamon tea all over my desk.
You're lucky I missed the keyboard.