I would choose option C, which is what I did last night:
I was watching the Olympics and felt a huge fart straining for release, and I saw the cat on a chair. I then proceeded to walk over to him, pull my pants down bare ass, pressed his face directly next to my exposed bunghole and blasted at least a gallon of air directly into his face under high pressure and considerable decibel levels. He must have been thoroughly repulsed, because he quickly ran up the stairs as though someone had thrown a heavy shoe at him.
And I didn't even need a thousand bucks to feel like I accomplished something great