I have an issue...

[Hustle Man]

My S.O. Lost alot of lbs. and I think she has become a tad bit too thin for my liking. She wants to lose more lbs. I don't like what I am seeing because I liked her around 145-155 she has dropped down to 115 (skin and bones in my opinion) and her boobs and bum are gone the way of the DoDo! Of course I will never stop loving her but she has lost everything that I was attracted to in the first place (physically).

Do I secretly feed her lard  and be looked at as selfish or support what I think has grown into an obession (borderline anorexia IMO)?

Ladies I need some advice on this. She hardly eats anything anymore except Tuina Fish and green salads and IMO works out way too much ( hardly has time to recover.

HM (Concerned Hubby or Selfish A-Hole)

[Laura Lee]

My S.O. Lost alot of lbs. and I think she has become a tad bit too thin for my liking. She wants to lose more lbs. I don't like what I am seeing because I liked her around 145-155 she has dropped down to 115 (skin and bones in my opinion) and her boobs and bum are gone the way of the DoDo! Of course I will never stop loving her but she has lost everything that I was attracted to in the first place (physically).

Do I secretly feed her lard  and be looked at as selfish or support what I think has grown into an obession (borderline anorexia IMO)?

Ladies I need some advice on this. She hardly eats anything anymore except Tuina Fish and green salads and IMO works out way too much ( hardly has time to recover.

HM (Concerned Hubby or Selfish A-Hole)

You may want to find out why she feels she needs to drop more weight.  She could be having some self esteme issues or going through something emotional that she hasn't discussed with you (I'm saying this because she is chosing to eat less or only eat tuna and greens, which shows she is doing this on purpose).  As far as her working out to much with no time to recover, maybe you should offer her a personal trainer to show her when/how to train and recover and they themselve can explain the "importance" of eating while training to get maximum body-fat loss and muscle toning/building.

Laura

[Butterbean]

How tall is she?

[chaos]

Buy her some fake boobs, it will help build her self esteem.

Have her start lifting weights instead of cardio style workouts.

[Hustle Man]

You may want to find out why she feels she needs to drop more weight.  She could be having some self esteme issues or going through something emotional that she hasn't discussed with you (I'm saying this because she is chosing to eat less or only eat tuna and greens, which shows she is doing this on purpose).  As far as her working out to much with no time to recover, maybe you should offer her a personal trainer to show her when/how to train and recover and they themselve can explain the "importance" of eating while training to get maximum body-fat loss and muscle toning/building.

Laura

I am stumped!

How tall is she?

5'6"

Buy her some fake boobs, it will help build her self esteem.

I don't do fake boobs

Have her start lifting weights instead of cardio style workouts.

I have tried that but she confuses muscle weight gain with fat weight gain. She only sees what the scale says, inches lost don't seem to register with her. I am at wits end here.

[chaos]

I am stumped!


5'6"

I don't do fake boobs

I have tried that but she confuses muscle weight gain with fat weight gain. She only sees what the scale says, inches lost don't seem to register with her. I am at wits end here.

Throw the scale away. I have fought fopr years to get my wiffe to lift weights, I was always met with the same "I don't want big muscles" even though I explained 50000000000000000000 times that won't happen. Then I had her talk to Milamar and a couple of the fitness girls at the gym that always lift weights.

Do you have someone she could talk to like that? Or maybe go to Milos' board where he has pics of fitness chicks lifting weights and explain to her the difference between muscle weight and fat.

[Princess L]

Exercise bulimia and / or anorexia is often times a control issue, similar to over-eaters who lack control.  Exercise bulimics feel it is one thing they CAN control and take it to an extreme and don't realize how thin they are (body image dysmorphia).  Perhaps she is feeling she has no control over something going on in her life (job, health of a loved one, etc.)

There can be serious health consequences too.  Has her menstrual cycle changed or ceased?  BAD sign.  Also, bone loss can happen with too much exercise and it is not reversible.

There's more going on than what's on the surface.

It doesn't help either when outsiders positively acknowledge the weight loss , giving her even more incentive.

[Hustle Man]

Exercise bulimia and / or anorexia is often times a control issue, similar to over-eaters who lack control.  Exercise bulimics feel it is one thing they CAN control and take it to an extreme and don't realize how thin they are (body image dysmorphia).  Perhaps she is feeling she has no control over something going on in her life (job, health of a loved one, etc.)

This could be and I will investigate

There can be serious health consequences too.  Has her menstrual cycle changed or ceased?  BAD sign.  Also, bone loss can happen with too much exercise and it is not reversible.

I will ask her about the cycle and relay the latter.

It doesn't help either when outsiders positively acknowledge the weight loss , giving her even more incentive.

This is true, her loud mouth friend keeps telling me I am trying to hold her back, which is totally untrue! I want her to feel good and be healthy and she doesn't look healthy anymore  (to me anyway) and I also liked the way she used to look (thicker).

HM

[chaos]

115#'s @ 5'6" sounds nice and tight to me, are you trying to keep her plump for your own selfishness or are you really concerned?

Think long and hard about that.

[Hustle Man]

115#'s @ 5'6" sounds nice and tight to me, are you trying to keep her plump for your own selfishness or are you really concerned?

Think long and hard about that.

I hear ya man and I am really thinking about if I am being selfish here.


P.S. Do you live in San Diego; I was just out there?

[chaos]

I hear ya man and I am really thinking about if I am being selfish here.


P.S. Do you live in San Diego; I was just out there?

I live on the LA/OC border, couple of miles into LA county.

I'm wondering that myself, as you've said you liked her "thick", maybe she feels "thick" is overweight? As long as she's happy and healthy I say STFU and let her do as she pleases.


Maybe you should have picked a "sista" if you wanted lifetime thickness.

[Hustle Man]

I live on the LA/OC border, couple of miles into LA county.

I'm wondering that myself, as you've said you liked her "thick", maybe she feels "thick" is overweight? As long as she's happy and healthy I say STFU and let her do as she pleases.


Maybe you should have picked a "sista" if you wanted lifetime thickness.

I travel to El Segundo maybe twice a year I will let you know the next time I'm out.

She does think thick is overweight, see does not see what I see. I see the perfect female body (for her) at 145+ she sees fat.

This isn't a race thing knucklehead but since you brought it up, to me it seems these days women of all ethnicities are getting thicker, "sistas" do not own thickness anymore and BTW she chose me we perfectly compliment each other.

135 lbs should have been the cut off but 115 lbs does not fit her frame well (in my eyes) and her tush is gone. I miss the tushy.

HM

[chaos]

I travel to El Segundo maybe twice a year I will let you know the next time I'm out.


135 lbs should have been the cut off but 115 lbs does not fit her frame well (in my eyes) and her tush is gone. I miss the tushy.

HM

The bold tells me it's your problem, she's happy with herself, get used to it, unless she gets tired of being commited to staying that thin.

Let me know next time you're out, we'll crack skulls.

[Cap]

I hear ya man and I am really thinking about if I am being selfish here.


P.S. Do you live in San Diego; I was just out there?

If she still has sex with you then cool?  If not and she's losing weight, call Coach for a good divorce lawyer.   

[Lord Humungous]

Hustle,

No offence dude, but you have more issues than anyone I know!

[Hustle Man]

Hustle,

No offence dude, but you have more issues than anyone I know!

None taken  and I don't think I have more, I just choose to share some parts of my life that others choose to keep to themselves. Sharing helps me to keep from exploding  I have gained a lot of wisdom from the various opinions here so I don't mind sharing a few pages of my life from time to time. Hopefully my experiences can help someone else re-think how they will handle/react to similiar situations in their lives. Remember brother nothing is new under the sun.

HM (Taking a good look in the mirror first)