Author Topic: Today's Funnies  (Read 11579 times)

w8m8

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Re: Today's Funnies
« Reply #75 on: February 06, 2009, 05:23:39 PM »
w8m8 is that a true story?  Funny ;D

nah .. I wish it was STella .. ;D


Oh that is an absolute keeper!

Please, ...tell me that's a true story!  ;D

I was sent that in an e-mail , usually I get old ones or unfunny ones , this one tickled me ..  :)

Hustle Man

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Re: Today's Funnies
« Reply #76 on: February 09, 2009, 06:08:04 AM »
Difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'

A young boy went up to his father and asked him,
'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered,
'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. 
Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'
 
So the boy went to his mother and asked,
'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
 
The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money
to fix up the house and send you kids to a great college, and a nice vacation.'
 
The boy then went to his sister and asked,
'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
                                 
The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'
 
The boy then went to his brother and asked,
'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
 
'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'
 
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
 
His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?' The boy replied, 'Yes,

'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars.

But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a queer.'
W

Laura Lee

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Re: Today's Funnies
« Reply #77 on: February 10, 2009, 01:18:34 PM »
THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!  If you're not @#*% YOU!  >:(

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking 20Twenty-five miles to school every morning

.... Uphill... barefoot.

BOTH ways

Yadda, yadda, yadda   ::)

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of
today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen!

....Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!


We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be
your school, your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!  >:(

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600!  With games like 'Space Invaders' an d 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your Imagination!!

And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!


You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and
there was no cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you Hear what I'm saying!?!  We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!  >:(

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy...

You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!  >:(

Regards,
The over 30 40 Crowd  ;)
:D Weee