Scientists to continue embryo stem-cell Research

[2ND COMING]

LEADING scientists last night rejected a new 'ethical' stem cell technique insisting it would do nothing to annoy fundamentalist Christians.

 The new method takes human skin cells and makes them behave like embryonic stem cells in a breakthrough that has disappointed researchers across the globe.

But Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "I did not spend eight years at university just to adopt research methods that do not annoy the holy living shit out of the Jesus freaks.

"I got into this business to take science and rub it in their stupid, medieval, voodoo faces and I'm not about to give that up now.

"It always puzzled me why they got so annoyed given that the embryo in question had no brain or nervous system and how to the untrained eye it was impossible to tell if was a human or a sea horse.

"Nevertheless they would open up their bibles and point to the bits about the sanctity of this and the holiness of that and I'd point to the bit about how it's forbidden to eat cormorants."

Professor Brubaker said he and his colleagues liked to play with the tiny embryos and would often use them to act out scenes from the New Testament including the Sermon on the Mount and the feeding of the five thousand.

The professor stressed that stem cells will also have a wide range of clinical uses with the exception of bringing someone back to life after they have been nailed to a cross, 'because that's just a dangerously insane fairy story'.

He added: "If only I could find some way of manipulating the embryo to make it gay."

[OzmO]

This guy has issues.....

"Professor Brubaker said he and his colleagues liked to play with the tiny embryos and would often use them to act out scenes from the New Testament including the Sermon on the Mount and the feeding of the five thousand."

 

[SAMSON123]

I don't even know why the embryonic stem cell issue is still being discussed at this point. Stem cells can be harvested from anyone's fat cells, bone marrow, muscles, skin, blood and just about every other part of a person's body, which are of the same effectiveness as embryonic. There is no need to get them from embryos. This embryonic nonsense does however have its benefits to those who would benefit form using the excuse/delay tactic. Right now the medical establishment is fighing  over who will be able to make money from this technique/process...To delay the use of stem cell research while they work things out...they interject the supposed concern for embryos, fetuses and aborted babys, which gives them time to continue working on the financial aspects of this branch of medical science while the "holier and thous" make issue after issue... In all of this time I wonder just how many people could have been cured of diseases and conditions had they not have been caught up in this wasteful money grubbing or religious ideologies.

[LurkerNoMore]

sounds like something from The Onion