Author Topic: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine  (Read 1887 times)

dyslexic

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Or not. I used to get Dan's newsletter years ago. I always thought the Sandwich was Romano. Who knows?


http://www.mesomorphosis.com/articles/duchaine/dan-duchaine-skullfucked.htm

Matt C

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2009, 12:23:11 AM »
Dan Duchaine

He is getbig's greatest member, past, present, or future.

;D
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Van_Bilderass

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2009, 09:33:22 AM »
Or not. I used to get Dan's newsletter years ago. I always thought the Sandwich was Romano. Who knows?


http://www.mesomorphosis.com/articles/duchaine/dan-duchaine-skullfucked.htm

Supposedly some obese Asian kid. Funny as hell. Years ago I saw an article in MD where The Sandwich interviewed Flex Wheeler and one of the questions was, "what would you do if you came home one day and found Chris Cormier banging your wife?" Flex didn't like the question. LMAO.

Van_Bilderass

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2009, 10:28:27 AM »
Duchaine comments on Jett

Quote
Sandwich: Jett…

Duchaine: (interrupts) Ahh, Jett…

Sandwich: He seems to be the number one contest prep guru for the top bodybuilders. And for those readers who do not know what a prep guru does, or, in this case, what Jett does, please tell us what this means. You were a very famous prep guru at one time, too.

Duchaine: A contest "coach" is being the babysitter of a 250 lbs. baby. Its that simple. You are almost holding their hand. Most of the advice is three words: "don’t do that." (chuckles) They will call you up and ask for your approval of the wackiest shit in the world! "I really think I need the cheesecake now!" "Don’t do that." That’s all he does! "And give me my three thousand dollars now." That’s all Jett does. He says, "don’t do that," "don’t eat," "eat now." Oh yeah, I’ve seen some of his contestants, and he’s done some pretty wacky stuff, and really stupid stuff, like fruit carb-ups. Fruit carb-ups so bad they are shitting out green from too many bananas!

Matt C

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Van_Bilderass

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2009, 10:41:49 AM »
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=profile;u=11089

One of the funniest and best posters on this board. What was his last user name?

lvtolft

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2009, 11:48:57 AM »
Duchaine comments on Jett

That part was hilarious!  He knew this 9 years ago!

Purple Aki

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2009, 11:50:14 AM »
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=profile;u=11089

This post is a perfect example of the man's genius:

Kev, if I may, I would like to tell you of an occurence in my life, of which, you play a part

Well, back in 93, I found myself - as usual - reading FLEX and being influenced in my training life by your goodself etc, I recall being impressed by the myriad of articles, interviews etc in the magazines, and now, 15 years on, who would have thought I would be sitting here conversing with one of my idols, in the form of your good self? It, if I may say so, is somewhat surreal, infact, verily so

However, one particular happening I recall - with great fondness - saw me, one night after training, settling in to tackle that particular evenings dietry input. My usual methodology re: food consumption over the coming hours after training, would be to prepare my food and then settle in for the night with my favourite bodybuilding magazines - at the time, they were Bodybuilding Monthly and, of course, FLEX

Well, my foods of choice were weight gain shake (strawberry flavour), beef steak, and approx one gallon of orange cordial (I wasnt in the mood for pure water if I am honest)

Now, there I was, settled in, listening to the radio and eating shitloads of food whilst reading about your wonderful self (the articles were interviews with you wherein you talked about the fact that you had an odds on shot at the O because - as per Olympias past - you had come runner up in your first outing, and, as per Dorian et al, this was a good indicator that you would win the upcoming Olympia) but I digress, there I was, eating and reading, infact, all was going swimmingly no less

Now, as I approached the halfway mark of my orange cordial and struggled with the last mouthfull of beefsteak I felt a twinge in my stomach, regardless, I continued on and finished the final mouthfull of food, of which, was washed down by as much orange cordial as I could manage, which in turn, gave rise to another twinge, but still, I had finished

At this point, I felt I was about ready to clean my teeth and prepare for bed, with this in mind, I made my way upstairs  and headed for the bathroom (my belly now full, in that 'slightly uncomfortable, eaten too much' sort of way). Upon entering the bathroom, I reminded myself to quickly weigh myself - just for reference sake - well, the scales read: 19 stone 3lbs (270lbs) which was my heaviest pre bedtime weight up to that point

After putting the scales away, I then turned to the sink ready to clean my teeth, and, after reaching dandily for the brush and paste, I began the job at hand. Now, I am sure you yourself have had the odd moment wherein, when cleaning your teeth you - with displeasure - find yourself poking the wrong part of you mouth, thus causing a gag reflex? Well, this is exactly what happened to me, I thought 'shit, I am going to puke all of that fucking food back up' however, all was fine and so I proceeded, as planned, and continued to clean on

Anyway, twenty or so seconds later I - unfortunately - repeated the same  'inopportune poking' -  now this time my delicate, overly full guts were not going to go so quietly, and yes, you guessed it, I puked all of that evenings half digested food right back up - infact, the beef was still pretty much intact, and yes, in a moment of sheer dissapointment, I did consider picking it up and eating it

Well, after regaining my composure, I stood and stared at the sink - now brimming with semi digested puke - and thought 'ah shit, thats tonights gains gone to fuck buggery then?'

Now, with this immense bowl of sick staring back at me, it occurred to me to hop on the scales and see exactly how much puke I had, well... puked up? Anyway, the 'tale of the scales' revealed my new 'post puke' weight to be 18 stone 11 lbs/273lbs, yes Kev, I had puked up seven pounds of sick only hours after reading several articles about you my friend (I am not saying they were the cause, oh no, I am simply pointing out this information for reasons of 'contextual backdrop'

Now Kev, you see, over the years, I have often thought, that if I ever met you, would I recount this story of salacious spewing back to you? what with this puke ridden palava so - in my mind - firmly associated with you, how could I not tell you this story?

I often wondered if the time would come wherein life would see me recounting that particular nights sick ridden shenanigans back to you, and as we can see, the answer is a mighty yes, yes it has!!!

Kev, this is somewhat of a defining moment for me, and for that - and not to mention you being a great influence on my training life etc - I would like to thank you

BTW, this story is 100% true, I was listening to BRMB AM, I was eating Davina rapid weight gain and drinking Kiora orange cordial, this is the type of stuff one couldnt fabricate

Kev, this is just a little nugget from my life that sees me - at whatever level - connecting with you, the type of connection that Earl can only dream of, so, with that in mind, let me say again..

..thanks Kev

;)

BB

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #8 on: October 14, 2009, 12:00:12 PM »
Supposedly some obese Asian kid. Funny as hell. Years ago I saw an article in MD where The Sandwich interviewed Flex Wheeler and one of the questions was, "what would you do if you came home one day and found Chris Cormier banging your wife?" Flex didn't like the question. LMAO.

Went by the name of Josh Brown on the old Misc.Fitness.Weights, you can still see some old posts in google groups. The best was when he would get Bill Phillips on the phone. He and a fella named "PusBag" were some of the better trolls.

Matt C

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Van_Bilderass

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2009, 12:36:19 PM »
http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=profile;u=17359

 ;D

FREE WOTEN!!!!![/size]

He's a had a few other obvious accounts since then, and I'm sure a few less so.

Matt C

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Re: If you get bored read this article with the Sandwich and Dan Duchaine
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2009, 02:04:43 PM »
He's a had a few other obvious accounts since then, and I'm sure a few less so.

Laura's Garden made it 38 posts in.  ;D
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