inserting your foot in your mouth story flubs!

[Tom]

some may get a kick and a laugh out of these stories but some of you may not so here it goes:

do you ever say something out loud or tell a story and somehow you insert your foot in your mouth as the saying goes?

my 2 latest ones are as follows:

1)  i was at this convenient store buying an ice tea and talking to the cashier when this woman comes up to us and carrying this big huge bag of documents and papers and such and she asked us both where a payphone was at? we both said that we had no idea where a pay phone would be in this area of the city and don't know even if there was one? then i trying to be funny said "well you could try across the street (which by the way is a jail!) and she said "where at?" and i said "you know the hotel!" and she replied in a quizzical way " the hotel what do you mean? where? and i said " you know the hotel for bad people!" and she replied "uh, yeah that's where i just got out of!" and pointed to her bag of papers! (i guess all her paperwork they gave her when she got out!) ooops! so i just said "uh, sorry!"


2)at the theatre where i always see movies i would always see this older man around 60 or so behind the glass window where you buy tickets, unusual to see this old of a man selling tickets at a theatre usually it's teenagers or young twentysomethings. anyway, so i always only saw him from waist up behind the glass window when i went to buy my movie tickets, so anyway....

finally after the longest time, i finally saw him in the lobby fullbody so to speak and he was on crutches. i didn't know his name, now did he know mine, but you know we recognized each other's faces, so i went up to him and said "hey, man, how is it going? and then i said seeing him on crutches, "so did you get into a bit of an accident?" and then he replied "uh, yeah polio 50 years ago!" OH MY GOD! i felt so stupid and small but he was cool and laughed it off and said " dont' worry about it man! it's no big deal, you didn't know!" but still i felt so stupid!

[Wiggs]

LOL...I'll have to think about that...I have some just can't remember.

[Rampage]

In a pool hall once , there was a black guy behind the counter..........His name was Chino a;ways used to see him there , So me being influenced by american Tv , allways used the word guy for my homeboys , being absent minded i greeted him saying` Wassap mah niggarrrr`...it took me 2 seconds to realise 

fucked up

[BIG ACH]

This one is terrible.


I found out the father of one of my bestest friends died. so I called him to give my condolences, and as I was hanging up I go "say hi to your parents for me!  OH FUCK.... I mean your mom"


I felt like such an ass!

[outby43]

I was at a party and my friends girlfriend and her family were over there as well.  The brother introduced himself and said his name was Colen.  I said Colen?  As in colon cancer?  and I chuckled.   My friends sister smacked me in the face and I was like WTF.  My friend told me later that his girlfriends dad was dying of colon cancer.  The brother said it was OK but man I felt terrible.

[Quickerblade]

.


lol in sydney there was games shop where robbers came in and killed the owner of the store and took the cash.

"In December 1995, Angelo Cusumano our founder, passed away in tragic circumstances. However the family was determined to continue his dream and with dedicated staff and a large loyal customer base, The Gamesmen continued to move forward."

http://www.gamesmen.com.au/catalog/company.php

anyway a year later i went to visit my friend who owned a electronic store in the city, and there was a young kid there, i started talking bout the incident and saying that Angelo should of did some "street fighter" moves to ward off the attackers, the kid started to cough as to stop my conversation but i kept talking, and my mate yells to  me, "that was his dad" fuck, i just walked out and never seen both these guys again.

[outby43]

Another time I was working at a video store and this guy comes up and asked if a movie was good.  I said "yeah if you like to watch a bunch of fags kissing each other".  It was the movie My own Private Idaho or something like that.  Turns out it was the father of a HUGE queer that I went to school with.  This queer wore skirts and makeup and got caught sucking off some dude for beer.lol.  Well I felt bad for the dad because he always spoke like a John wayne type.  His other son turned out to be a pole smoker too.

[Spoony Luv]

some may get a kick and a laugh out of these stories but some of you may not so here it goes:

do you ever say something out loud or tell a story and somehow you insert your foot in your mouth as the saying goes?

my 2 latest ones are as follows:

1)  i was at this convenient store buying an ice tea and talking to the cashier when this woman comes up to us and carrying this big huge bag of documents and papers and such and she asked us both where a payphone was at? we both said that we had no idea where a pay phone would be in this area of the city and don't know even if there was one? then i trying to be funny said "well you could try across the street (which by the way is a jail!) and she said "where at?" and i said "you know the hotel!" and she replied in a quizzical way " the hotel what do you mean? where? and i said " you know the hotel for bad people!" and she replied "uh, yeah that's where i just got out of!" and pointed to her bag of papers! (i guess all her paperwork they gave her when she got out!) ooops! so i just said "uh, sorry!"


2)at the theatre where i always see movies i would always see this older man around 60 or so behind the glass window where you buy tickets, unusual to see this old of a man selling tickets at a theatre usually it's teenagers or young twentysomethings. anyway, so i always only saw him from waist up behind the glass window when i went to buy my movie tickets, so anyway....

finally after the longest time, i finally saw him in the lobby fullbody so to speak and he was on crutches. i didn't know his name, now did he know mine, but you know we recognized each other's faces, so i went up to him and said "hey, man, how is it going? and then i said seeing him on crutches, "so did you get into a bit of an accident?" and then he replied "uh, yeah polio 50 years ago!" OH MY GOD! i felt so stupid and small but he was cool and laughed it off and said " dont' worry about it man! it's no big deal, you didn't know!" but still i felt so stupid!

1) After you finished with "uh sorry" An appropriate follow up may have been to say something like " well you must be a little low on cash flow then, how would you like to make 14 dollars the hard way"?

2)When the old man gave you the "don't worry about it man its no big deal" An appropriate follow up may have been to say something like "Thanks man, but I know how you feel. I almost drown 5 years ago playing Marco Polo. Thats some scary shit"...

[HTexan]

i blocked them out.

[gordiano]

This one is terrible.


I found out the father of one of my bestest friends died. so I called him to give my condolences, and as I was hanging up I go "say hi to your parents for me!  OH FUCK.... I mean your mom"


I felt like such an ass!

LOL....that sucks. But I can see how that could happen.

[benchmstr]

me and my dad went to a funeral one time for one of my dad's friends brothers...the guy who died had been having heart problems and everything...so it was an expected death...my dad walk up to his friend(dead guys brother) and gives his condolences, and ask him if he suffered any..the brother kinda chuckled and said "no"........come to find out he committed suicide...the guy blew his brains all over the wall like cherry fucking pie with a 12 gauge.

the guys brother came up to me and my dad after the funeral gave his thanks to us for coming to the funeral, and told my dad not to feel bad. apparently everybody else thought the guys heart had killed him too. nobody knew the guy had killed himself except for the some family cause they were keeping the suicide from his parents.

bench

[calfzilla]

I remember when I was a kid.  We were driving down the road and passed this shitty looking apartment building full of Mexicans, and my dad started saying things like "eww fucking dirty Mexicans go back to mexico wetbacks"...and such"  lol then me and my sister turn to look at our mexican friend in the car with us.  Ha ha ha.   

[benchmstr]

I remember when I was a kid.  We were driving down the road and passed this shitty looking apartment building full of Mexicans, and my dad started saying things like "eww fucking dirty Mexicans go back to mexico wetbacks"...and such"  lol then me and my sister turn to look at our mexican friend in the car with us.  Ha ha ha.   

my sister stayed with me this whole week, and her friend who is Mexican came with her...we had a family get together earlier today, and my 90 year old grandma starts talking all kinds of racist "i hate Mexican talk"...this girl was freaking out .......my old ass grandma then looked at the girl, and told her she has strong German features ...tentions eased up at this point due to the fact she realized my grandma is batshit crazy...and old 

bench

[calfzilla]

Once my buddy and I went to our other buddies house for a holiday party and his hot aunt was here.  So I say to my friend right in front of her, MILF? )At the time I thought MILF was just something my buddy made up and other people would have no idea what we were talking about.)  Anyway I said it a few times in front of her, she didn't say anything but I assume she knew what I was talking about but thankfully didn't let me know.  I still see her sometimes and she still seems to like me and such so I don't think she hated me for saying that. 

[BIG ACH]

This didn't happen to me but to a greek friend of mine here in  Washington.  So this guy was in an elevator with another greek guy, and this (so they say SMOKING HOT) girl walks in and stands in front of them, so my friend says to the other guy IN GREEK "Check out the ass on this broad"  and the other guy responds also in Greek, "Yeah, I would bend her over and fuck her ass hole like a donkey"  Elevator opens up and as the girl is getting out she turns around and goes IN GREEK "Oh are you guys Greek?  I am too" and they were like FROZEN, and she just smiles and goes "what part of Greece are you all from?"  - good sport! LOL

[Bobby]

This didn't happen to me but to a greek friend of mine here in  Washington.  So this guy was in an elevator with another greek guy, and this (so they say SMOKING HOT) girl walks in and stands in front of them, so my friend says to the other guy IN GREEK "Check out the ass on this broad"  and the other guy responds also in Greek, "Yeah, I would bend her over and fuck her ass hole like a donkey"  Elevator opens up and as the girl is getting out she turns around and goes IN GREEK "Oh are you guys Greek?  I am too" and they were like FROZEN, and she just smiles and goes "what part of Greece are you all from?"  - good sport! LOL

hahahahah that's a great story

[calfzilla]

You fucked her didn't you?

I wish I could say yes.  But I guess it's still possible    She also has a daughter; think she's rapidly approaching 18 if not already there.