Author Topic: Guys, I'm screwed - I am out of protein! (Read 2097 times)

lovemonkey · « **on:** April 20, 2011, 08:22:03 AM »

Yesterday I came back home from a back workout, only to find that I was out of protein. No precooked chicken, protein powder or beans. I got struck by panic but managed to do the smart thing, which was to call 911. The operator laughed at me and hung up... and this was already 25 minutes after I finished my workout. I fucking missed the 20 minute post-workout window! Damn fat bitch operator wouldn't know what it feels like having her protein synthesis reversed!!! Shortly after that I got the cold sweats which rapidly turned into involuntary muscle spasms and finally I laid down on the floor, convulsing.

20 minutes later I ate my dog. Does anyone know the protein content of dog? Was it enough to keep me anabolic?

devilsmile · « **Reply #1 on:** April 20, 2011, 08:24:36 AM »

lolz

on the other hand, i think the dog is more than enough. More protein than in chicken and I think the quality is higher aswell.

You're safe

tendonitis · « **Reply #2 on:** April 20, 2011, 08:30:27 AM »

The post-workout anabolic window is serious business.
I missed mine once.............once... .......never again, spent 4 days in the ICU recovering.
I think it would have only been 3 days if it hadn't been after a leg day.

Tito24 · « **Reply #3 on:** April 20, 2011, 08:31:29 AM »

im a bodybuilders nightmare

Mr Nobody · « **Reply #4 on:** April 20, 2011, 08:31:44 AM »

Call China they got the nutritional information.

Power · « **Reply #5 on:** April 20, 2011, 08:35:30 AM »

Quote from: Mr Nobody on April 20, 2011, 08:31:44 AM

Call China they got the nutritional information.

Damn beat me to it. I was going to tell him to call his local Chinese restaurant and give them the bread and weight info and they would tell him the nutritional content.

devilsmile · « **Reply #6 on:** April 20, 2011, 08:35:49 AM »

http://wolf.ok.ac.kr/~annyg/english/e4.htm

dog meat 100g contains;

Meso_z · « **Reply #7 on:** April 20, 2011, 08:36:58 AM »

Sometimes I might go for like 2-3 hours post workout without eating something, Im not always hungry... just me

Devon97 · « **Reply #8 on:** April 20, 2011, 09:27:14 AM »

Don't you still live at home with your parents luvmonkey?

Captain Equipoise · « **Reply #9 on:** April 20, 2011, 09:34:45 AM »

That's a lot of cholesterol bro! next time go for the plazmosis!

devilsmile · « **Reply #10 on:** April 20, 2011, 09:38:33 AM »

Quote from: Captain Equipoise on April 20, 2011, 09:34:45 AM

That's a lot of cholesterol bro! next time go for the plazmosis!

wrong, dog meat has the least colesterol

44.4 in 100g

Ron · « **Reply #11 on:** April 20, 2011, 09:39:14 AM »

Quote from: lovemonkey on April 20, 2011, 08:22:03 AM

Yesterday I came back home from a back workout, only to find that I was out of protein. No precooked chicken, protein powder or beans. I got struck by panic but managed to do the smart thing, which was to call 911. The operator laughed at me and hung up... and this was already 25 minutes after I finished my workout.

The operator posed this on the 'strangest calls of the weeks' board and laughed. Unfortunately, the supervisor, who doesnt eat any protein, was not happy about this waste of taxpayer's time, as it took away from her soap opera hour. She called her 'friend' in the police department, who come and cited Lovemonkey for wasting her time. Court date is next week.

240 is Back · « **Reply #12 on:** April 20, 2011, 09:53:30 AM »

youre supposed to add peanut butter when eating your dog

225for70 · « **Reply #13 on:** April 20, 2011, 10:00:01 AM »

Quote from: devilsmile on April 20, 2011, 09:38:33 AM

wrong, dog meat has the least colesterol

44.4 in 100g

The doctor urged me to cut my consumption of dog meat to two servings a day

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #14 on:** April 20, 2011, 10:36:12 AM »

Meat eating animals usually don't taste that good. You should indeed ask your local Chinese take-away for some recipes.

Army of One · « **Reply #15 on:** April 20, 2011, 10:39:21 AM »

Quote from: lovemonkey on April 20, 2011, 08:22:03 AM

Yesterday I came back home from a back workout, only to find that I was out of protein. No precooked chicken, protein powder or beans. I got struck by panic but managed to do the smart thing, which was to call 911. The operator laughed at me and hung up... and this was already 25 minutes after I finished my workout. I fucking missed the 20 minute post-workout window! Damn fat bitch operator wouldn't know what it feels like having her protein synthesis reversed!!! Shortly after that I got the cold sweats which rapidly turned into involuntary muscle spasms and finally I laid down on the floor, convulsing.

20 minutes later I ate my dog. Does anyone know the protein content of dog? Was it enough to keep me anabolic?

Find Chick, he can provide fresh protein if the price is right, aim the Bat Signal towards the ice machine.

lovemonkey · « **Reply #16 on:** April 20, 2011, 04:14:33 PM »

I just had a protein shake... phew!

Hulkotron · « **Reply #17 on:** April 20, 2011, 04:15:19 PM »

Did you consider taking it straight from the tap?

tendonitis · « **Reply #18 on:** April 20, 2011, 04:16:49 PM »

Quote from: Hulkotron on April 20, 2011, 04:15:19 PM

Did you consider taking it straight from the tap?

Isn't that called the tbomz method?

Nirvana · « **Reply #19 on:** April 20, 2011, 08:16:10 PM »

he won't recover