Girlfriend is a slob never help with anything

[makaveli25]

I've been living with my girlfriend now for the last year and half. We have been together for a long time though. She has been the worst roomate I've ever had. I come home everyday clean up the house make everything look nice. She doesn't appreciate it at all never helps out. We actually have separate rooms but share the same bed. Her room is covered in clothes, her closet is like a jungle. Her bathroom sink has dried toothpaste and all kinds of nasty shit. My room is pretty spotless my clothes are always put away laundry done. I'm not quite obsessive compulsive but pretty close.

Is there anyway I can get her to change her habits? When I ask for help she gives me a bad attitude then I end up exploding on her calling her a disgusting slob and all kinds of other names. I can really get pretty mean because It's a lot of built up bad feelings and anger. Then I end up feeling like the asshole and I have to make up to her and make her feel better because my crazy outburst. This is bullshit I can't take it anymore. It's turning into a bad cycle. Any suggestions.

I grew up in a family where my dad never lifted a finger around the house. My mom would ask us if we wanted anything to eat or drink. She cleaned up after us. My dad did all the work outside. I don't have a problem with sharing the responsibilities but this is getting ridiculous.

[Migs]

she has a blatent lack of respect for herslf and you..  stop doing anything for her and dont try to make anything up to her becuase of her being a sloth.  Sit her down and calmly tell her how yu feel.  If she doesn't shape out, then out she goes.

[makaveli25]

she has a blatent lack of respect for herslf and you..  stop doing anything for her and dont try to make anything up to her becuase of her being a sloth.  Sit her down and calmly tell her how yu feel.  If she doesn't shape out, then out she goes.

I agree. It's getting ridicolous. I want to leave her stuff dirty dishes laying around but it bothers me to much. I can't have peace until the area around me is clean.

[w8m8]

I agree. It's getting ridicolous. I want to leave her stuff dirty dishes laying around but it bothers me to much. I can't have peace until the area around me is clean.

she has been there long enough to see what you prefer to live like .. she's also obviously aware you will clean up whatever she leaves lying around in the shared space

I say .. tell her very clearly you will not accept it and want it to change ASAP ..do it in a note if it will be easier and save you from having a scene begin

You aren't doing yourself any good by putting up with things that make you upset .. when all it is really is her lack of concern for what you want

[Migs]

she has been there long enough to see what you prefer to live like .. she's also obviously aware you will clean up whatever she leaves lying around in the shared space

I say .. tell her very clearly you will not accept it and want it to change ASAP ..do it in a note if it will be easier and save you from having a scene begin

You aren't doing yourself any good by putting up with things that make you upset .. when all it is really is her lack of concern for what you want

p.s. you left the foot rub lotion and your emtpy tea cup on the coffee table 

[Butterbean]

What is good about your relationship w/her?  Does it outweigh her slobbiness?

Would your relat. be great if she wasn't a slob? 

Is she overly sensitive or pretty even keel?

[Migs]

does she have massive feet, mickey mouse huge cartoon hands and a massive melon?  If the answer to any of the above is yes, then run.  Alhtough she'll probably catch up to you, use her hands to play whack-a-mole on your head and finish it up with a headbutt for good measure

[Butterbean]

does she have massive feet, mickey mouse huge cartoon hands and a massive melon?  If the answer to any of the above is yes, then run.  Alhtough she'll probably catch up to you, use her hands to play whack-a-mole on your head and finish it up with a headbutt for good measure

 

[Migs]

and sometimes the truth hurts....

liked getting your foot stepped on by bigfoot
or getting a massive hang nail on on your hand
or even getting hindinburg sized migraines
just sayin


  pookie lol

[Butterbean]

and sometimes the truth hurts....

liked getting your foot stepped on by bigfoot
or getting a massive hang nail on on your hand
or even getting hindinburg sized migraines
just sayin


  pookie lol

 

or even getting hindinburg sized migraines

lol!

[tonymctones]

does she have massive feet, mickey mouse huge cartoon hands and a massive melon?  If the answer to any of the above is yes, then run.  Alhtough she'll probably catch up to you, use her hands to play whack-a-mole on your head and finish it up with a headbutt for good measure

hahahah i love this place...whack-a-mole LOL hahah

[tonymctones]

she has been there long enough to see what you prefer to live like .. she's also obviously aware you will clean up whatever she leaves lying around in the shared space

I say .. tell her very clearly you will not accept it and want it to change ASAP ..do it in a note if it will be easier and save you from having a scene begin

You aren't doing yourself any good by putting up with things that make you upset .. when all it is really is her lack of concern for what you want

I agree with this but I wouldnt tell her in a note, sit her down and tell her how you feel and what you want to change dont expect her to get on it right then and there b/c then she might feel like youre just trying to get her to clean up instead of actually trying to address a bigger underlying problem.

You need to make her understand that its not just about not having things clean anymore its beginning to effect the relationship. If you get her to understand that and she doesnt change well then I guess you have your answer. Its not like youre asking her to clean up after you, you just would like her to clean up after herself and from the sounds of it even just a little bit would be enough.

[Migs]

 

[Princess L]

I've been living with my girlfriend now for the last year and half. We have been together for a long time though. She has been the worst roomate I've ever had. I come home everyday clean up the house make everything look nice. She doesn't appreciate it at all never helps out. We actually have separate rooms but share the same bed. Her room is covered in clothes, her closet is like a jungle. Her bathroom sink has dried toothpaste and all kinds of nasty shit. My room is pretty spotless my clothes are always put away laundry done. I'm not quite obsessive compulsive but pretty close.

Is there anyway I can get her to change her habits? When I ask for help she gives me a bad attitude then I end up exploding on her calling her a disgusting slob and all kinds of other names. I can really get pretty mean because It's a lot of built up bad feelings and anger. Then I end up feeling like the asshole and I have to make up to her and make her feel better because my crazy outburst. This is bullshit I can't take it anymore. It's turning into a bad cycle. Any suggestions.

I grew up in a family where my dad never lifted a finger around the house. My mom would ask us if we wanted anything to eat or drink. She cleaned up after us. My dad did all the work outside. I don't have a problem with sharing the responsibilities but this is getting ridiculous.

Tell her having things neat and tidy is important to you ~ it makes you "feel" happy, content, successful, accomplished... (insert adjective).  When she doesn't clean up after herself or help around the house it makes you feel like she doesn't care about you, your feelings or the relationship and it hurts (girls all all about feelings).  Tell her that it makes you feel like she doesn't value you or think you're worthy of ... respect, courtesy, etc.  Ask her if that's really how she feels, and if not, then what can you do together to come to a compromise...

Leave the ball in her court.  Obviously those things are not important to her - find out what is.  

[Princess L]

hahahah i love this place...whack-a-mole LOL hahah

[loco]

I've been living with my girlfriend now for the last year and half. We have been together for a long time though. She has been the worst roomate I've ever had. I come home everyday clean up the house make everything look nice. She doesn't appreciate it at all never helps out. We actually have separate rooms but share the same bed. Her room is covered in clothes, her closet is like a jungle. Her bathroom sink has dried toothpaste and all kinds of nasty shit. My room is pretty spotless my clothes are always put away laundry done. I'm not quite obsessive compulsive but pretty close.

Is there anyway I can get her to change her habits? When I ask for help she gives me a bad attitude then I end up exploding on her calling her a disgusting slob and all kinds of other names. I can really get pretty mean because It's a lot of built up bad feelings and anger. Then I end up feeling like the asshole and I have to make up to her and make her feel better because my crazy outburst. This is bullshit I can't take it anymore. It's turning into a bad cycle. Any suggestions.

I grew up in a family where my dad never lifted a finger around the house. My mom would ask us if we wanted anything to eat or drink. She cleaned up after us. My dad did all the work outside. I don't have a problem with sharing the responsibilities but this is getting ridiculous.

Here is my advice:

1.  Ask her to please reach into her purse, to then kindly pull your testicles out of her purse and hand them back to you.
2.  Dump her.

 

Nah, in all seriousness, how about picking an evening out of the week and cleaning together?  Play some music while you are cleaning, find ways to make it more "fun" for her to clean.

What is good about your relationship w/her?  Does it outweigh her slobbiness?

Would your relat. be great if she wasn't a slob?  

Is she overly sensitive or pretty even keel?

Very good, Butterbean!    

I knew this guy who is/was a marital counselor.  He told me one time that he gets many couples who have problems with sex, the husband is unhappy that the wife is not interested in sex as much has he is.  The counselor said one day a couple came in and the husband, just like makaveli25, was unhappy that the wife was a slob.  The counselor asked the husband "how is the sex?"  The husband answered "the sex is great, always has been."  The counselor then told him "you are one of the few lucky husbands.  Be happy that your sex life with your wife is great and put up with her slobbiness."

[tonymctones]

LOL I love that video

"boink, boink, boi, boink, boink" lol

[Jadeveon Clowney]

lol - exact opposite situation the last time I lived with someone, but she kept all my shit in order and whined fairly minimally.  I didn't feel guilty in the least because she fired the maid that kept all my shit clean and in order.  so the moral of the story is tell her to hire a maid. also, your relationship with the maid may last longer... i still use the same maid now.