Nice blog
http://www.fighterdiet.com/sometimes/Some times I don’t want to be nice. Some times I don’t have it in me. I don’t have the will in me to be nice, nor do I want to have the will in me to be it. Some days I say screw you who think you know it all, screw you who pretend your little Buddhas, screw you who think you’re so balanced and happy all the time. There are moments when I wish my eyes could kill, that it was ok to yell at anyone who’s in your way. Some days I think it’s totally ok to blame everyone else about what’s bothering me. I feel everyone else on the road is in my way, everyone in front of me in line is wasting my time, everyone who is intruding my space I want to poke with an electric stick.
At times I want to scream so loud and kick and punch and yell and what have you. Some times I’m boiling within and I want to tear apart every little parasite that tries to crawl under my skin. Some times I wish I was invisible so I didn’t have to be courteous, polite or patient. Yeah some times I don’t give a damn at all. I want to put a “gone for good” sign on my door, unplug all connections with the world and just be grumpy.
Now and then I think everything is unfair and that I get punished for it, yeah, sometimes I do feel like a freaking victim and I know I’m not and I don’t care I know it cause I like to feel that way. Heck, I’m entitled to say what I want, not having to explain it and just get away with it. I don’t have responsibilities to declare my intentions or elaborate my moves and motives. I can be just furious and I have the right to be. Hey, I don’t owe anyone anything, who ever invented that “gotta give back” I’m sure never did so anyway.
Some times all things asking for attention build up and I want to throw them all out the window and say good luck, try to do it now, huh!” And I want to give everyone a damn lesson and then ask how does it feel now, loser?
It’s cool to be a damn idiot, it’s fine to be an asshole, it’s OK to be a bitch and not be bitched about it.
Don’t try to tell me you’re always in perfect balance, never dissatisfied, never pissed, never in anything but ease. If you do you got issues. Suppressed aggression that you’re so afraid to ever let out in case you hurt anyone’s feelings even feelings of those you don’t even know at all. Yeah, you might be so scared to be inconvenient, uncomfortable, worried what people will say and think about you. You know what? Screw that, yeah take your little cookie jar and stuff yourself if it makes it easier to be reasonable and “balanced”. But for me, I rather be both extremely frustrated and extremely happy and I’m cool with it being either or one day and another. It’s not a chemical imbalance, it’s LIVING and FEELING. If you have a problem with that, then, don’t try to make it my problem. Suck it up, I can be an ass, and some times I enjoy it.
